Pants

**Zaphod** · 09-04-2004 11:18 PM

Heheh... this reminds me of something I saw from bash.org:

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word \"wand\" with \"wang\" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> \"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?\" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> \"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> \"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.\" It wasn't a question. \"You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.\"
<JonJonB> \"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. \"

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> \"Oh, move over,\" Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!\"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> \"Yes,\" Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.[/b]

**docKnubis** · 09-05-2004 12:53 AM

ha ha ha h ah a

**Finde** · 09-05-2004 11:16 AM

Monty Python and the holy grail is the most amazingerising film in existence!!!

"Come back! I'll bite your pants off"

**dream-scape** · 09-05-2004 11:41 PM

"Of all the pants in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

"I've seen pants you people wouldn't believe. Pants on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched pants glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like pants. Time to die."

"I love the smell of pants in the morning. It smells like victory."

"I'll make him pants he can't refuse."

**wasup** · 09-06-2004 01:11 AM

Matrix: There are no pants

**Truthbearer** · 09-06-2004 03:09 PM

"And my pants will be here when I'm gone" Seether

"I lean against the wind
pretend that I am pantless
and in this moment I am happy" Incubus

"No pants for you!!!" Soup Nazi

"They say that pants are only real as long as they last" Waking life

"I am so damn bored I feel like telling everyone to pants off" ME

**Finde** · 09-06-2004 08:16 PM

The Matrix: You have alreaady made the pants, now you just need to understand why you made them...

**Andromeda** · 09-06-2004 11:25 PM

Shakespeare: "juliet is the pants"
First man on moon: "this is one small pants for a man, but one giant pants for mankind"
Apollo13: "Houston, we have a pants"
Matrix: "i can only show you the pants, you have to walk through it"

ok i apologise if i repeated any of the previous ones.....

i am really thick sometimes!!!!!

p.s. its hilarious if u play this game with the word 'egg'!!!!

**Geoppner** · 09-07-2004 12:17 AM

I would first like to say that this is a great topic considering I substitute pants for curse words when I'm around my mom, lmao.
I prefer the name "Pantsmaster"

"This is Snake, Colonel can you pants me?"

"We're not tools of the pants or anything else... Pantsing was the only thing I was good at, but at least I always pantsed in what I believed in."

"....six pants, more than enough to kill anything that moves."

"You mean Metal Pants."
"You knew?? It's one of our most secret pants projects!
How did you know that?"
"We've had a couple of fittings in the past."

"Have you ever...pantsed someone?"
"What are you trying to say?"
"Do you think pants can bloom, even on the battlefield?"
"Yeah, I do. I think that anytime, any place, people can fit in pants with each other."

"Snake! Come, kneel down, and sacrifice yourself to this historic pair of pants! Consider it an honor, some pants from your brother. Now you shall bear witness to the demon pants that will drag the world into the 21st Century!"

**Aphius** · 09-07-2004 02:24 AM

Ace Ventura:
Melissa: "You must really love pants".
Ace: "Only when it's really cold"

Aladdin:
Jafar: Pants were obviously less than worthy.
Iago: Wow! Theres a big surprise! I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die, from that surprise.

Genie: Three pants - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds.

Guard: He's got pants!
Razoul: You idiots -- we've ALL got pants!

Blade:
Blade: There are worse things out tonight than vampires.
Karen: Like what?
Blade: Like pants.

The Fifth Element:
DJ Ruby Rhod: WHat the hell are you screamin' for? Every thirty seconds there's pants or somethin'! I'm leavin! bzzzz!

Head Scientist: Pants denotes intelligence...

GhostBusters:
Ray: "Where do these pants go?"
Venkman: "They go up."

**Finde** · 09-07-2004 04:27 PM

The Matrix: "We need pants, lots of pants!"

**Feyd_Shadowen** · 09-08-2004 12:25 AM

Here is an oldie from The Breakfast Club:
"Next time I come in here I'm cracking pants!"

Another from Dune:
"He who controls the pants, controls the universe"

**Demerzel** · 10-07-2004 06:44 PM

Zigs: All your pants are belong to us.

**Taosaur** · 10-08-2004 08:18 AM

"The pants of two people in this world don't amount to a hill of beans."

**Demerzel** · 10-08-2004 05:58 PM

Close your pants!

**docKnubis** · 10-23-2004 03:24 AM

i had an idie from a different sensless post

Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.

They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you've got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the PANTs.
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so jive ...

That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
It's a place there called the PANTs.
They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts.

They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

P-A-N-Ts
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts
Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down
Young man, young man, pick yourself off the ground

P-A-N-Ts
It's fun to stay at the P-A-N-Ts
Young man, young man, are you listening to me
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be

P-A-N-Ts
you'll find it at the P-A-N-Ts
no man, young man, does it all by himself
young man, young man, put your pride on the shelf

P-A-N-Ts
then just go to the P-A-N-Ts
P-A-N-Ts
young man, young man, i was once in your shoes
P-A-N-Ts
young man, young man, what do you wanna do
P-A-N-Ts

Thread: Pants

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Display

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions