For Šh↑t§ & Gígg∟eš....

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 04:55 AM

In the spirit of Senseless Banter, I've created this thread for us to post things that make you laugh, cry, or generally inspire you. Things such as quotes, motivational/demotivational pictures, texts you got today, things that happened to you today that shocked you or made you take a second glance at it...

I'll start with:
"9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???" - Unknown

... lets have fun with this guys

**CarmineEternity** · 12-23-2009 06:36 AM

Gtfo

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by CarmineEternity

Gtfo

Calm down CE,
and where's your contribution to the thread?....

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 08:18 PM

I like to post in vermillion. It makes me feel special because most people don't even know wat shade of color vermillion is. I didn't at first, vermillion is now my second favorite color.

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 08:54 PM

Nice random post Lucid

**Maria92** · 12-23-2009 08:59 PM

I've been leekspinning for over half an hour now. I hear voices. The voices tell me to do evil things.

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by MementoMori

Nice random post Lucid

That's sir Lucid to you.

1. A cow makes up to 128 glasses of milk a day.
2. A cow's udder holds up to 50 pounds of milk.
3. A cow drinks enough water every day to fill up a bathtub.
4. We have 10,000 cows here at Shamrock Farms.
5. Every glass of milk is filled with 9 essential nutrients.

Now you know.

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by Mario92

I've been leekspinning for over half an hour now. I hear voices. The voices tell me to do evil things.

i clicked that link... i feel dizzy now, i stared at that damn leek too long

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by MementoMori

i clicked that link... i feel dizzy now, i stared at that damn leek too long

I can't see it. Viruses on my computer are preventing me

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 09:20 PM

Originally Posted by TheLucid

I can't see it. Viruses on my computer are preventing me

trust it'll make you feel weird... at least it did me

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by MementoMori

trust it'll make you feel weird... at least it did me

I'll look at it this weekend at my dad's house.

**Maria92** · 12-23-2009 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by TheLucid

I can't see it. Viruses on my computer are preventing me

What kind of crappy antivirus do you have installed? You need an upgrade, mate.

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by Mario92

What kind of crappy antivirus do you have installed? You need an upgrade, mate.

Subscription ran dry.

**Maria92** · 12-23-2009 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by TheLucid

Subscription ran dry.

Dude, I'm gonna hook you up proper.

Your new antivirus (better than any paid one on the market)

I'll be right back with links to anti-malware, too.

Ad-Aware
Spybot
CCleaner

I've been using all 4 of the above programs for years now. never had a problem.

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 09:26 PM

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.

The names of the two stone lions in front of the New York Public Library are Patience and Fortitude. They were named by then-mayor Fiorello LaGuardia.

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 09:26 PM

Spybot rocks ass

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:27 PM

Well thanks!! It's downloading right now. I'm doing the thirty day trial then I'm going to switch. I really appreciate it.

**Maria92** · 12-23-2009 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by TheLucid

Well thanks!! It's downloading right now. I'm doing the thirty day trial then I'm going to switch. I really appreciate it.

No 30-day free trial! They're all perfectly free.

And no problem, mate.

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by MementoMori

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.

The names of the two stone lions in front of the New York Public Library are Patience and Fortitude. They were named by then-mayor Fiorello LaGuardia.

I knew that!! I knew That!!

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by Mario92

No 30-day free trial! They're all perfectly free.

And no problem, mate.

The AVG one has a 30 day trial and I'm assuming that one is better so I'm going to use that until it runs out, then I'll use the free one. Thanks again.

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 09:38 PM

Awesome

Flying from London to New York by Concord, due to the time zones crossed, you can arrive 2 hours before you leave.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

A car that shifts manually gets 2 miles more per gallon of gas than a car with automatic shift.

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down -- hence the expression "to get fired"

**Maria92** · 12-23-2009 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by TheLucid

The AVG one has a 30 day trial and I'm assuming that one is better so I'm going to use that until it runs out, then I'll use the free one. Thanks again.

No, no...there is a free version of AVG that works just as well. I've had mine for months without paying a dime.

The other three are anti-malwares. If you're running Windows, you'll probably want all of them.

**MementoMori** · 12-23-2009 09:40 PM

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by MementoMori

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

I knew every last one of those and remember the website they came from, too!!

**Jesus of Suburbia** · 12-23-2009 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by Mario92

No, no...there is a free version of AVG that works just as well. I've had mine for months without paying a dime.

The other three are anti-malwares. If you're running Windows, you'll probably want all of them.

Appareantly it didn't download the first time so now I'm just downloading the free one. I've downloaded all four and I'm currently scanning with CCleaner and will open SpyBot after this post.

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