Abowogha sotne ansot sotnekyl aoskyrns biralt shutnsky soylsobisn?

[♥Mark]

CHAPTER NINE: LUCIUS DISSECTS A FRAGRANT OATH WITH NAUGHT BUT A FROZEN SQUADRON OF GREY BUZZARDS WITH DIFFERENT ACCENTS (RUSSIAN, NORWEGIAN, ETC.) FOUND IN A DISHONEST REGIME CONSIDERED A CHALLENGE EVEN TO TETRIS CONNOISSEURS SUCH AS THAT YOU CAN FIND IN MOST STATES, EXCEPT UTAH, AS THIS IS THE OFFICIAL STATE OF ARID REJECTION, THE LIKES OF WHICH IS RARELY OBSERVED IN DIFFERENT CONSTELLATIONS, SUCH AS THAT OF POLARIS OR MAYBE URSA MAJOR IF WE WERE TO ADD A FEW MORE TARIFFS, LEVIES AND THAT GREEN GOO THEY FILL POT HOLES WITH YOU KNOW THE KIND I want can't haven't. But they aren't not, so I can't have of didn't elsewise with muh' chrome. What shall we do with Latvian chess rules? We'll spread it thinly across the Prime Minister's bed chambers and file 1 mm off of the front-right leg of his dresser which is coloured of daisies. Could we be any more malignant? I think so, but it's not really cast effective. Like the movie John Q. Sample's Credit Card Conundrum. What were they fixing with that happy little fish? At least two different breeds of extinct quadrupeds, I'd wager. Carbon dating? No thanks, I'm more of an Argon man. Arizona ruptured with a glowing black sort of answer-mobile. I put my money down and at least three of my teeth. At least three minutes passed before I was arrested at least three times. I explained to my electoral rival, I said "Behold not my divine sort of garrison. For you shall be removed of all sightly dispositions!!!". Mystified by my spurious confidence, the shaman asked me if I liked NASCAR. I didn't. It was very awkward. A rather good-looking waitress asked me if I had spare change. I didn't think that's really what democracy was really about, but I obliged in spite of my burning hatred for democracy. Did I mention that she made me excavate my own telephone network? That was at least the three of the things on my list of things that Jack Thompson might think was a good premise for a book. But let me tell you, she sure knew her physics. It seemed as though I was talking to a kind of mirror that reflected only loaves of bread. Not slices. Only loaves. With only tweezers and a giant spool of spaghetti. HELP! IT'S ACID-RAINING ON MY SELF IMAGE?! GOD DAMN IT, WHERE IS THE NEAREST JENNY CRAIG OUTLET?! And now I’m dead. I had such high hopes as a youth. Then once I realized all 150 of 'em had caught me, I felt slightly disillusioned. It was harsh, but later my English teacher corrected me by saying that I was really looking for the word "allusion". I made a note of it on the inside wall of the chimney and crucified the nearest moth. Seven children standing in a row, like some kind of post-modern fence. What does post-modern even mean? Try asking the children. Methinks it has very little to do with fence posts. Post cereal, possibly. Anyhow, I have reviewed my notes and noticed a particularly noteworthy notage (rhymes with "montage". Not the notage itself, just the word notage). Anyhow, a sponge-like consistency can be found in one of every ten samples selected at random. Which makes me[citation needed] wonder just how random these samples really are if we always end up with one in ten that has a sponge-like consistency. Anyhow, the implications are staggering. At least three books will have to be rewritten, or perhaps we can just make notages in the margins every second page or so. Anyhow, none of that is really true (except the parts that are, but that's a subjective sort of truth (a lie)), I actually just never get a chance to use the phrase "sponge-like consistency". Anyhow, what is true is that I have invented a new, versatile, streamlined and 199% more aerodynamic unit of measurement (that's true). The beauty of this new, more aeronautic (aeronausiating?(???)) unit is that PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, UNTIE! Sorry, just had to get that out there. Anyhow, as I was saying, the beauty of the new unit is that it can measure anything. ~*100% of everything. They are called "Standard Units (abbreviated to lb, to make the abbreviation lb even more confusing) It measures volume (loudness or bigness kinds), distance, intelligence, the number of jellybeans in a jar. But how, you ask? It's quite simple. Here's the formula which looks quomplicated but quan be qualculated on the fly quite quickly: Anyhow, J = 1lb Anyhow, where "J" is whatever it is you're measuring. How many beans in this jar? 1 standard unit. How long till we get there? One standard unit. How much do I weigh? Way too much to pull that new dress off <slap>. Anyhow, as you see, lb's scale to 1 for whatever it is you're measuring. The distance from me to the moon is 1lb. The distance from me to my computer monitor is 1lb. As you can see it's very practical. *Ignore the squiggly. Code: Subscribe to Coca^Cola at once! That's not a question! Not even a little bit! Anyone can see that this isn't a question! Evolution is impossible because it doesn’t happen overnight in a jar of peanut butter. Allegories relating to the beginning of breakfast cereal often fail the greater good. Is the grater good? I’m not even sure anymore. I stepped on a worm and asked him if he had any last faxes he’d like me to send. It handed me a large wagon with the words “I can hear your shoes rusting from here” carved on the side. I took it, folded it into sevenths, and played a C major on a nearby harpsichord. It would be the last time I wore a tie and a sandal around the same finger. A series of complicated looking gears lived in an abandoned screwdriver factory. I threw a wrench in and the young ones were very offended by the gesture. The grand marshal couldn’t help but squeeze a reddish magnet at the irony of it all. 21 years later, I recounted them and found it was all just a big surprise party. “How mordacious!” I muttered at a volume grand enough to be dipped in liquid francium. Presidents are pretty much just glorified flintlock rifles. And now back to regular programming. They do have one advantage, though. I saw a commercial on it once, but I can no longer speak of it, as it also disproves my existence. It’s kind of funny in a “I-just-walked-across-an-offline-basketball-player’s-drug-intervention” sort of way. Realizing the error of my way, I reevaluated everyone’s expectations and found TV to be four to nine times more fattening than last quarter. I figured I could compensate by etching my name into the second dog of every third window, but I couldn’t find my best etching hat. There was pretty much no point to life after that. And that’s how I got into medicine. Well, it also had to do with some under-the-table sort of arms dealing, but I had to kill all my wives and my wives’ wives for it. Not really! I just turned all their socks inside out until they saw it my way. We still go to the water park to put baking soda on the oldest frog’s disheveled driveway. I can’t think of I time I ever did, actually. Maybe I should just watch The Matrix a few more times. I reject your reality and substitute something patched together out of purple balloons and those little cylindrical sprinkles they put on cupcakes sometimes. Man, I wish I had more dishsoaps to chose from. I ate up to and including one world religions just hoping that someone would subscribe to my catalogue. I forwarded my disappointment to my family and they were subsequently charged for arson and attempted murder. It mishappens sometimes. From my window I shot a crippled sage. He saw me, made an iconoclastic face, flicked on the NO2 and I haven’t heard from my scapegoat since. I hooked my credit card/debit card Frankenstein to the life machine. I waited for a clap of sunshine, which the widget was powered by, until finally my esophagus had been stricken. My creation now flailing on the boat like some freshly snagged construction man, into the upwards night skyline I yelled out in my best Elvis impression, “Aghast; I am the one and only person in this whole iron cube who can calculate the relevance of the Arabic language!!! Let me give you a hint: It’s green and doesn’t like university!!!. I doubt you’d even criticize it if you could shred like I can!!!” From hammerspace I pulled a new hypothesis. Hitherto I discerned that not all cabbage can coin quite like Caspian bipolar introverts. When exactly are ampersands necessary? In, like, 300% years they will have a new punctuation for every type of storefront. At least the ones in Little China. Boy do I like Netscape. Turns out there WAS a tiger on my desk. Soda!? How dare you!? It’s pretty much interchangeable with a torrent of astronomical implications!!! For what it’s worth, you might as well just plagiarized my hometown and sent me the little bits that stuck to the Roman Empire in the mail!!! In other news, a man with no arms has been found to be a good punch line for knock-knock jokes. More on this breaking story as we make it up. PS I left my wire cutters in a roundish garden. Please search the deepest depths of the sea until I return with a new button for my finest polo shirt (the one with the Tasco logo on it). I filed my tax return and a distraught pastor told me that the field of anthropology was a hoax. Upon questioning how that could be so if I can get my fingers stuck in a pencil sharpener, he stumbled back a few feet. Instantly he turned to stone and over the years grass grew over him. Every Thursday on which my neighbor’s cat can be seen on the front steps I go back to wonder where it all went wrong. Once I went the other T-day (Truck Day), and did a 50-50 grind off of his pouting lip. The kids thought it was rad, but I still wasn’t allowed to take the cinema by force. I had to think up forty-four new art forms before they’d even acknowledge that I wasn’t criminally insane. Also, inform the house that I am ready for the Crab King’s decadent pastries. His name is Shirley, be sure to write it in the corner of the audience hall’s carpet. He notices these things with spectacles that could sear an f-shaped hole through even the most expensive forklift. I found a segment of coloured sand betwixt of my rationale and some sinister looking pen lids. I took a 45 mile step back to view the situation with a difficult eye. I still couldn’t decide if Pillsbury would be proud. CHAPTER NINE: THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I CAN SEE UP Chips; hH Diagram 1 (Failed exponent surgery) 0 + 0******************************************7 + (I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but I think you just killed the entire human race. How about we play Blackjack instead?) CHAPTER NINE: TIME PARADOX? MAYBE JUST A NEW WATCH Yeah, I went there. I left my prose on the coffee table and a serpent with a tophat took it. Before I had a chance to delete his modesty, he turned upside-down and spoke in spatulas until I had to have the whole street reupholstered. It was a cartography of empirical proportion. I even drank Diet Sprite. Yes, it was really that far gone. I jest thou not. In fiction, it got so audacious that I had to fish off of a stone bridge just to communicate with the CEO of a certain international corporation. I dare not speak its name, as I haven’t been paid to advertise for them yet. Here’s a little clue, though: I think you can see where I’m going with this. Whoops. I poured good taste all over it. Now it looks like a piano song forced through a narrow hallway. DANGER! DANGER! The sensory array has declared misappropriations! Stick a hotdog in your ear and call me when the lice revolt. Sometimes, when everyone's noses have sunk into the black abyss, I put potting soil on the heads of objecting skunks. Huh. You know, I just realized. I can no longer vote for green soldiers to stomp on my very own iconoclasm. Everything I believed in was baked into a rather delicious bread. Of course I ate it!!! The secret ingredient is bassists. Someone told a sorta-funny joke. Reality shattered then and there. It took at least half a dozen bottles of Windex to get it to look right. When I was Irish, I'd often ponder the purpose of "20% off". It seemed rather backwards. After all, wasn't it just a big filibuster in a different wrap, anyway? I mean, if they were serious, they probably wouldn't have hidden so many lepers in my soft drink. But they did. And now I'm dead. On Broadway, an unending torrent of garbage cans offered to pick the splattered bugs out of my teeth. I politely disrespected their equal citizenship and kindly scoffed at their existence. And now I'm dead. Seven tadpoles with rocket launchers turned out to be the best the Swedish had. The Russians, on the other hand, play a mean game of Mario. Makes sense, since they invented it. ARE YOU A SPINE? YEAH, DIDN'T THINK SO. You'll have to excuse him. He's not always been around fried flowers. Help! My mouth is on fire!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA What! I’ve never even been to a chocolate factory!

[no-Name]

10/inf.

[Spartiate]

tl;dr

[Invader]

yaaaaaaay

[Rezzo]

And I thought I was bored

[Universal Mind]

I'm all for it, Marky March Madness 1877. We voted for it, It voted for the U.S., and we've got the true Scouting spirit of '76 on another airplane of existence without the existence part, except wheels, but take away the wheels. Then you have more eggs, and they have more chickens, but they are vegetarians and don't lay eggs because they might get eaten by hypocritical vegans protesting acid while they bitch in their floaties. In the final chapter, it must be revealed that the chapter is not there, although it was and will be. You still must stop duck hunting at the mall if you have to wear sandals. You still come move and be moving still in the move to Still when you move to be still in Move. Thank you over here somewhere you are now standing Captain private in general, and parade if you stay in your submarine that will soon be built after it is turned into space. I cannot hear my listening, but I am here, though not where I am.

[AURON]

Stickied

[Tara]

This bread is the very reason I call you my wife. ♥

[GestaltAlteration]

This is a pile of stinkin' hogwash! Mark75 is a pile of stinkin' hogwash!

[♥Mark]

I'm all for it, Marky March Madness 1877. We voted for it, It voted for the U.S., and we've got the true Scouting spirit of '76 on another airplane of existence without the existence part, except wheels, but take away the wheels. Then you have more eggs, and they have more chickens, but they are vegetarians and don't lay eggs because they might get eaten by hypocritical vegans protesting acid while they bitch in their floaties. In the final chapter, it must be revealed that the chapter is not there, although it was and will be. You still must stop duck hunting at the mall if you have to wear sandals. You still come move and be moving still in the move to Still when you move to be still in Move. Thank you over here somewhere you are now standing Captain private in general, and parade if you stay in your submarine that will soon be built after it is turned into space. I cannot hear my listening, but I am here, though not where I am. This post has made me realize that SB posts cannot be thanked. Stickied :3c This bread is the very reason I call you my wife. ♥ ♥ This is a pile of stinkin' hogwash! Mark75 is a pile of stinkin' hogwash! Wow, jealous.

[Xyn]

On the other hand, I need a bat.

[Man of Steel]

I approve.