Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At a Matrix event, one of the movies will be playing and the actors are present. I am cosplayed as Trinity and I am determined to meet Keanu. I can't find him but I come across Carrie-Anne, who seems to be very familiar with some of my friends. She commends me for my cosplay. We take pics together, then she hangs out with us. Turns out she is pregnant and Zilla is also pregnants, so they won't stop talking about pregnancy. We head to theathre room to watch the movie and it is quite big and chaotic. People are all talking, lots of kids who only watched the 1st and dont know this one and are already trashing it. Meanwhile, I spot Keanu with some other actress friend at the front rows and I ask Carrie if she can introduce me to him because I must talk to him. She says ok, when the movie ends. But in the middle of the film she gets up to go to do something and doesn't seem to be coming back and then I see Keanu also sneaking out and being engulfed by fans asking for photos. I try to go after them, but then these kids also want to take pics with me, because of my cosplay. And other cosplayers want to act out scenes of the movies with me, for a laugh and I lose Keanu. Outside on the street is a big crossroad with a square in the middle. It's a mess because there is some protest with thousands of people who are on strike for something, plus everiday people going about their lives. I become semi-lucid and consider teleporting out of there and just aim directly to those I wanna meet. Then realize I am dreaming. But I cant focus, it feels too chaotic. So instead I decide to walk go up a street and find some place quieter. I step inside an arcade (tunnel) outside the building to my left and keeo walking forward until I reach a building entrance with a very vintage look and I feel drawn inside. It seems some old abandoned mall and I decide to finally teleport out of here by just walking through a door as a portal. But before I even do anything, I hear Carrie-Anne's voice on the other side of the door so I open it and it is some old school pharmacy and she is buying some medicine from the pharmacist. She is excited to see me. Wonders how the hell I found her and I tell her is was mere coincidence. She tells the pharmacist "She does these things! I wasn't coincidence!" He looks at her like we are crazy, he doesnt believe ít is more than coincidence. Then I tell her I was looking for her because Keanu left and I wanted to see him. She says not to worry, because she can take me to see him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Watching a new Matrix movie and Neo finds glitches in the matrix and he his committed or arrested for it. He escapes by fooling some guard. Then bad dudes from a corporation come looking for him and torture the guard, accusing him of helping Neo. Meanwhile Neo finds that there are several Neos in this matrix. He goes to a barber who looks like a younger self and the customer he is shaving, also looks like a young and slightly different Neo. Yet they don't realize they are identical and think he is insane. When he insists that they are all versions of the same person, they become violent and the barber throws knives at him. Then I have an epifany and say to Riverstone, whi is sitting by my side, that we are also in a simulation, being deceived that we are watching a film. I say that I am actually Neo and I do become him in that fight with his clones and I fly away from there. I go look for people I know, but everything seems to be changing randomly and people I know become someone else or have different lives and don't know me anymore. I enter a house of supposed friends and there is a middle aged couple there. Their cat recognizes me, but they don't. Yet they react calmly to my presence and offer me dinner with them and ask me to explain in detail who I am and what I am looking for. I tell them I have partial amnesia and know my name and my work, but don't know anything beyond that or where I live and was certain that some of my friends lived here. They are very understanding but offer no answers to my questions. Then some girl comes at the door claiming to be my sister and that I am dangerously deluded and she needs to take me with her. I escape and get lost in the small town we are in. Then there is either a theme fair from the 30s going on or I also travelled back in time, because it all looks from that era. When I interact with people, they get startled because I dress funny and I say weird things and clearly don't belong there. Once again they think I am insane and try to arrest me. The only way to escape is flying away, but I can't fly high for some reason and keep being pulled down by them. I scream from the top of my lungs and my thunderous voice numbs everybody around for a while. I then run away on foot. Meanwhile, the corporation guys are back in their HQ debating how Neo is destabilizing the simulations, but they think they are outside of it. Until strange things start to happen and they start realize they themselves are not from the real world but simulated matrix controllers as there is a matrix within a matrix within a matrix. As I try to walk discreetly through the town, I hear some familiar music that attracts me to a place where old ladies do arts and crafts and I find my mom there. I approach her to try to see if she knows me. She doesn't, but she invites me in. The place was a cozy llittle studio which becomes claustrophobic as the old ladies surround me with curiosity and some keep bringing in boxes and boxes of stuff that block the entrance and narrow down the space available.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Riverstone, Zilla and NightHawk watching the new Matrix movie, but it is an interactive and immersive experience, just like the scene in the movie itself where Bugs is walking on the simulated matrix. We have to walk around a room to see some scenes and at some point I am literally sitting in front of Carrie Ann Moss and some other actor, while they play a scene and she interacts with me and I become part of the movie. Every other spectator becomes so jealous. After the movie there is a festival outside, some kids play Jefferson Airplane's song and I am groovin. Then I spot some stupid men brutalizing an African lady with intention to rape her. I go intervene and kick some dude really bad. The others go look for reinforcements, so I gotta leave. What matters is the woman had time to escape. Then I try to blend in with the crowd. I am walking around anonimously until some Asian dudes point to me and say I look like JFK Jr and I am like ""OMG, crazy Q'anoners!!!" . I reply that I do not, in any way, shape or form, but if I did, it would be just random genetic resemblance, no need to even be from the same family. The point is, I realize I am also inside some kind of simulation and someone altered my avatar to look like JFK r and I didn't realize. I guess it's so they can spot me more easily.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


I have a FA in Riverstone's room. It's dark and I can't find any lights, There is a flashlight but also does not work. I hear scary monster sounds. I go check what it is, I get lucid, but still feel a bit scared. I see a dark figure, think it is the monster, hit it with the flashlight. Light comes up and no monster, just kittens all over, even coming from inside the walls.

Mom picks me up, there's a job opening for plant expert at some small company in our hometown. I need to fill an application. Some kids come by. One steals some documents that were on the table.

Me and some others enter the Matrix with Neo. I think we formed some kind of army to free others. Entering the matrix was fun and psychedelic, like riding a roller coaster while swallowing matrix code. Once inside, we have really cool looks, but not all black like in the movies. We are wearing mostly shades of blue. I have a dress with a balloon skirt, but a bit too short and later I find some fabrics to use as an extra skirt and feel more comfortable. When we enter we find ourselves on some kind of crosswalk on top of buildings, like a suspended terrace and there is a sort of giant wave wall to our right that looks like a tsunami coming to hit us but that never does. It is mesmerizing.

Then we go to some kind of school to train us and it was very posh, looks like an opera house. Even the bathrooms are so very fancy and vintage-y. There are some true geniuses among us. One black kid, seems as young as six, presents us with a music piece he had composed and although it wasn't entirely original and innovative, it was incredible anyway. I could recognize influences of Vangelis, the Blade Runner OST and some other electronic artist. Nobody else thought so, but the kid confirmed. I told him, it is so very well composed, but because it doesn't sound original, it is not amazing. "You have to find your own sound and then you will blow our minds". I wanted to be honest but still encourage him. He felt both pleased and ego hurt, which is normal.
Some people don't like me much, maybe because I am some teacher's favorite and it always feels awkward when I enter a class late and the teacher acknowledged my presence instead of letting me quietly sit like with everyone else. Even when they seemed to be reprimanding me, everybody could feel they were actually happy to see me.
Last day of school and we're packing clothes to go home. My dog Bernardo appears out of nowhere and he has one eye out gouged and I freak out. Then he starts making weird electronic sounds and I see his eye is bionic. I find a way to open up the side of his head and fix the wires to put back is eye in place.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am on a bus or tram and I spot Morpheus in jeans and jacket, talking to some guy, both standing on the corridor (larger than in real life buses or trams). They end up discussing and fighting and people on the tram freak out, running away from them. The tram stops and people get out in panic.
I sense that agents are coming and I warn Morpheus that he must go. The other guy was not on the side of the agents, because he also runs away as fast as he can. I help Morpheus, by guiding him through the streets that I seem to know well. Then a large grayish van cuts across our path, the door slides and Morpheus hops in and invites me along. Inside it there is one guy driving and one guy on the back that welcomes us. They take us to their headquarters.
The van parks at some garage and they welcome me to the facilities. Outside the van, a girl passes by, wearing a denim jumpsuit and a red/black checker shirt and short hair and I recognize her to be Trinity. She talks briefly with Morpheus, informing him of the results of her latest assignment and she doesn't seem very happy about it. He says something like an ok and tries to encourage her. Then he tells me to go with her.
I accidentally hear the two other guys mocking her because of her tomboy looks. I am amazed by their silly behavior and think that one day they'll regret it.
She enters a locker room to shower and change and lets me know that she heard their comments. She was already upset she didn't get much success on her mission and on top of that she confesses she has no self-esteem and finds herself skinny and unattractive. I tell her that one day she will be a great looked-after warrior and she will wear really cool vinyl outfits and be the object of fantasy of all those men who now look down on her. She doesn't believe me and she smirks. Then she enters the shower.
While she is showering, I write an encouraging message to her on the steamy mirror and I go outside.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am at some large empty building with many other people. There is a huge window with view over a large river that seems to flow to underneath the building. The flow increases and it seems that the water will break the window and flood the building, but instead it creates vertical twirls with the seven colours of the rainbow, side by side, in front of this large window.
Then someone says that now we have the power to create anything we want with the rainbow lights we can shoot from our hands.
I make a beautiful dance with my arms and hands and spread a trail of rainbow light behind me in the empty space of this white building. Others are more creative and give rise to dragons, fishes and all sorts of animals, floating in the air like colourful metallic balloons.
Slowly the white building gives place to all sorts of objects and places created with rainbow light.
I meet a guy for whom I feel instant attraction. He is dressed in black and suggests that I join him in a Matrix-like character and together we create a Matrix-like scenario. I try, but all I manage is a cowgirl look, I don't know why. He laughs and decides to become a cowboy and join me instead. We have a minute of fun in a western like scenario, but then I see a wooden bridge to a zen garden and a japanese temple and probably sensing my sudden interest on it, he runs and disappears into it, teasing me to join him there. I decide to follow him, but before I met him again, I try to recreate my character, hoping this time to be successful. I dress myself with an olive green and orange kimono, but for some reason I have trouble in creating an obi to tie it up. While I struggle with it, he reappears in front of me, already wearing a kimono. Very silently, he slightly opens my kimono in a very provocative erotic move, slowly and barely touching my skin and even more slowly he closes it magically with an obi he creates with his rainbow hands. Then we walk in the garden, immersed in that erotic tingling sensation that fills us beyond our bodies.
(...)
My lover is gone. I am now alone in this world of dream-like creations. Some of the creations become out of control. Two giant knights made of black smoke get involved in an epic sword fight, crushing under their feet many of the other colourful creations and nobody seems to be able to stop them. When all hope is lost, my love comes back. He fights with the knights to, but he also can't stop them. Tired, he lays in my arms. I feel his exhaustion and I cry with the sadness of all the worlds.
I wake up sobbing and with tears in my eyes.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING RPG

23:50 GMT – Sleep

Lucid imagery and tasting words
The first sleep is always hard to recall but when I woke up from this I knew for sure I had been lucid. I think I fell asleep focused on the hypnagogic imagery and didn’t really enter a dream, was just staying lucid observing the sequence of images and then I tasted words. [I’ve heard of people tasting colours, but this was new for me]. Unfortunately I can only recall this but not describe the actual sensation.

2:20 GMT

Library encounter
I am at this roundabout close to my mom’s home and I discover a new library opened right there. I recall when I was in high school and spent so much good time in the municipal library and decided to go inside check the conditions and maybe start coming frequently. I check the novelties shelf in the entrance, I pick some book and sit on a couch. I notice this guy JF, whom I know from college and haven’t seen in a while (although we communicate by email), but decide not to go to him and wait to see if he sees me. He comes to say hi, we talk a bit and then he asks me if I’m staying longer, because he is leaving and could give me a ride.
I say I’m still staying as I just arrived, but then he ask if I came on foot and points out that it is starting to rain and I’m not prepared for rain. I look down and I’m wearing skirt and sabrinas and the weather is definitely becoming nastier. So I say, ok you’re right, I accept the ride.
But when I looked down I also saw I had pantyhose on one leg but not on the other and they were also quite dirty. What the hell! So as we leave the building, I first sneak behind the entry desk and try to take off the pantyhose. He comes back looking for me and finds me with skirt up, pantyhose down and trying to adjust my underwear who also got out of place with this tricky move. Embarrassing, but he just does his best to ignore and tells me I forgot money on a table in front of the couch I was sitting on. I did? So I go back and find a lot of coins on the table. Think it was not so much and shouldn’t really care about it, but he says that it doesn’t matter, it is my money, I should take it. Ok, ok. As I start putting it in my purse, the coins transformed into pieces of fruit and in the end my purse was full of fruit salad.


Hacking a building
There’s an announcement about the day with no cars (happens every year) and immediately I see the roads with no cars and a family cycling around the neighbourhood. They go up a ramp and I follow them – until now I was just watching but now I materialize. On top of this ramp is actually a dead end so I wonder where they disappeared into. When I turn back, this is no longer a street but actually a closed precinct, like the backrooms of some public or governmental facility. Then I find myself with 2 other friends and we make a challenge to each other – break in, do the tour of the building and leave without a trace. There are vigilance cameras everywhere, so it won’t be easy. As soon as I leave this room, the hallway has a camera and I know it is just a matter of time until a guard appears. I just have enough time to break in the door at the end of the hallway, my friends follow me and we close and block the door when the guard is about to catch us. Now we face a new challenge as this room has no other exit. We decide to go through a vent and get out on the control room, where the guards should be, but since they are still trying to break in the first room we blocked, now we can hack their computers and tapes and delete all recordings about our little adventure. As my two others friends are deleting the files, my attention goes to a corner where there is a basket full of teddy bears. I wonder what they are doing there and can’t resist to go through them, looking for one that is cuter and eventually take it with me, but in the end, they are all cute but none really stands out so I leave them, wondering why guards need teddy bears.
The door of this control room is locked electronically – so nobody enters or exits, while the guards are out – but my friends broke in the code and tell me a sequence we’ll need to insert on this door and a next door we will find. But hey, I’m distracted with toys, so I don’t recall the numbers. Fortunately my friends are better concentrated and remember it for me. When we unlock all the doors, we find ourselves moving to an entrance lobby with visitors and a kid notices we’re coming out of a restricted access area and asks us if we should be there. I smile at her and tell her no, that we’re hackers but we didn’t do any harm, we were just having a bit of fun and ask her to keep a secret.


Buddha Neo
Someone tells me “Did you know there’s a secret short movie that is a crossover of Little Buddha and Matrix?” No, I don’t know about that!!! So then I’m showed this amazing film with Keanu Reeves playing Neo (of course) and then he finds the truth inside the truth and becomes the Buddha (he also played Little Buddha) and the Buddha hacks the Matrix and kicks some asses, but also sits to meditate as Neo. Weird stuff but awesomely cool. I would love to see that movie!


4:45 GMT

A very quiet friend
I am at a lobby of some building with my dad, close to a desk. We’re waiting for someone or something, but it’s totally deserted. He makes some remarks how he feels uncomfortable with these places, especially when some weird people comes by – better beware of your purse - like... for example this guy that is coming in now! I wonder why he says that, it’s just my good friend H.L. from Estonia, whom I don’t see for a few years. I don’t mention this to him and simply go to my friend, also to scare my dad a little. He recognizes me and smiles but when I hug him he is distant and not really replying the hug. Then a blond girl with a kid appears and I wonder if they are together. Ok, but that’s no reason to be cold towards a friend. The girl finds this corner for kids, with a little castle for kids to play inside, and she leaves the kid there. I try to break the ice by saying how I would have loved to have one of those when I was a kid, but all I had was chairs, blankets and a lot of imagination. But she also doesn’t reply.


Sharing memories from Brussels
I’m in the middle of the street opening a letter that just arrived in my mailbox and I’m surprised to see it’s a renewal card for going to the cinema with discount, in Brussels! I don’t live in Brussels for more than 3 years and I also wonder how they got my new address.
Coincidentally, I see this lady which I know from tv, she is an actress and I know she lived in Brussels to and misses it a lot. So I start talking to her showing her the card and asking if she knows what’s about. She was totally surprised and didn’t first understand what I wanted. But as she looks closer to the card, she knows what I mean and makes a big smile. I tell her I also lived in Brussels and we start walking together exchanging stories about this city. It’s so rare to find someone who lived there and actually loved it, everybody always complains about the weather. As we walk we pass by this abandoned lot and I notice a lot of garbage, a few vegetable gardens and 2 dogs who soon start fighting. When I look again to my way, we encounter a friend of hers who’s waiting her with a car, we say goodbye and she leaves.


Buying groceries
I’m shopping on this little town grocery shop some food for me and taking to some group I’m hosting. I buy some tomatoes, eggs and I see these amazing carrots that are labelled organic but cost only 90 cts/kg. I find too cheap and ask the grocer if these are locally produced, by some villager or so. He confirms and goes about saying how amazing these carrots are, delicious and that he misses when all vegetables were so tasty and not these plastic chemical-filled things we eat nowadays. He starts talking about the wonders of organic farming and I smile. I want to tell him he his preaching to a converted, but he is now turning to some other clients, some villagers who are asking something about his ham. The grocer goes to the backroom and comes back with a piece of ham. He cuts bits for others to taste. But first he tastes it itself in a very ritualised manner and I realise the guy is a gourmet an totally obsessed about quality food. Before he also offers me some ham and then I have to explain why I’m vegetarian I turn away and pretend to shop some more stuff.


7:10 GMT – Wake up