Xanous' Dream Journal

#401 - DILD - 7:40AM

I was really wanting to get lucid all night and had multiple awakenings. Later in the morning I wanted to try WILD, but felt super sleepy and a little distracted because my son ended up in bed with us all night and my wife had left for work. I was worried that my son way going to roll out of bed, but I finally decided he wasn't, I forget about WILD. Luckily, having LD on my mind gave me a DILD (however crappy)

Lucidity scale - 4 then 8

I am at work and someone plops a package in front of me. I pick it up and examine. The packaging is shifty and as first it looks like my Dollar Shave Club razors but then it transforms into some potted cactus seeding that I have ordered in waking life. I am excited at first but also confused why I am getting mail at work. When I take a closer look I see there is something like snow or ice on areas of the cacti. They begin to feel super cold and when I pick one it's as hard as a rock. I also notice that the soil has spilled all over inside of the plastic bag they are in and the soil looks like chunks of something brown. This is super annoying but I am mostly upset because they are frozen and likely ruined. The supplier said they only ship live plants on Monday to avoid this sort of thing. I falsely realize it's actually Monday and wonder if it was lost in the mail. I look at the shipping label and see an odd address. I laugh and take the package to another part of my work area. As I do, I notice the cacti now look like halved cucumbers set in soil. It's odd but I dismiss this and tell Crystal, a co-worker, how they totally messed everything up. I point out the address and it reads,

[My full name]
13[something with a lot of digits] Country RD
Desa, ID [some zip code]

I blurt out, "Idaho!?! Are you kidding me?" Crystal just looks at me and continues working. I sit the package down and turn around for a moment. When I go back for it, I see the package has disappeared. I look around for a moment and find a jar of brownish candies. I consider eating one, but I pause and ask Crystal if she minds. She tells me that its fine since she ate some of mine. I become filled with anxiety when I realize she must have eaten my cactus soil. I panic a bit not sure what to do when something finally dawns on me.

I am at a low level of lucidity here and I randomly roam around my work place. I am going down a long hallway when my phone rings. I don't recall if I heard anything or felt the vibration or just randomly checked my phone, but I see a text and a Snapchat from my friend Vinny. I say, "Oh Vinny not now. I am trying to have a lucid dream here." I lock my phone and decide to reply after I wake up. Derrrr.

I continue to wander around but my vision is deteriorating quickly. I feel myself hold my eyes wide open trying to visually stabilize. I suddenly now become highly lucid and begin to try to recall my goal. However, its all too late, the dream is crashing, and I quickly wake up. I consider trying to DEILD but I am way too awake and the sun is brightly shining in the window.

#397 - DEILD - 7:08AM

My WBTB was around 2:30AM and I kept it super brief. I was up only long enough to take some galantamine and wash it down with cold peppermint tea. This G night was a little disappointing since I didn't start becoming aware until much later in the morning. I suppose it was because I have been having back issues and I over did it with muscle relaxers pre-bed making me extra tired. Sometimes its hard to find that balance between dream and wakefulness that's required for LD and a lot of thinks factor into it.

I partially wake from a dream and enter DEILD. I have vibrations and slowly float out of body. I see something odd made of red laser light but I ignore it since I feel really unstable. I exit the room and find myself in what looks like D's house (my mom's friend). I haven't been here since I was little and I am surprised it's showed up in this dream. I just want to get outside so I exit the front door. There is a lot of stuff out there and I spot a cat curled up sleeping in a cushioned chair. I reach down and pet the cat on the head. The cat responds with a low purring meow sound and I walk away. I step into the yard only to find the edge of dream world disappearing into the void. I don't want to deal with that so I try entering another part of the house. I open a door but there is void in there too. Instead of stepping in, I reach an arm in and feel around for a light switch. The dream seams to be breaking up so I look back at the well lit porch for stability. After flipping the switch, I look back to see nothing has happened. I enter the room anyway and find myself lost in the void. I try going back but the door I came in is no longer there. I need stimuli and go with the first thing I think of. Sex. I blind summon a naked female body and couple with her. Her face look sort of familiar but no one I really recognized. We make out and things start to become more sexual but I stop as I begin to feel a bit of guilt. The dream crashes here and I wake up.

#398 - DILD - 8:53AM

I am at the park up the road from my house looking at my old Ford Ranger that I used to own in waking life. There is a wheel missing and the other tires are flat. For some reason I have a push lawn mower and my mountain bike. I really want to ride the bike but I don't want to leave the mower here. I try putting the mower in the truck cab but it wont fit. I realize I drove my SUV and fit the mower in the back of that. I spot some tough looking men with colorful glasses strutting by. I worry that they are up to no good but they don't bother me or my stuff. I feel the need for some shades and spot some white ones in the front seat and put them on. I realize that I don't usually wear white but I figure I may as well try something different. There was a lot of time spent here messing around with things but I finally feel content and decide to hop on my bike.

As I ride my bike toward the street I notice something feels odd. I look down and see the tires are flat on the bicycle. I decide to keep pedaling as I head in the direction of the gas station to get air. I tell myself that if I pretend the tires are normal then they will be. This thought reminds me of dream control and brings me to full lucidity.I am nearly into the street now and I decide that I will be able to ride super fast with the cars. Unfortunately, it's kind of slow and difficult like riding up hill. Although I can't pull of the speed thing, I know I can't be hurt so, I decide to mess with the oncoming traffic. I spy and orange car and pedal hard toward it expecting some sort of impact. Just before the collusion, my front tire jams up sending me over the handle bars and the car vanishes just before it hits me. This is disorienting but thrilling at the same time. I get back on my bike to experiment with this again but before I get going, someone makes a noise in the other room and wakes me up.

I have two other instances during the morning trying to DEILD. I recall hitting vibrations and trying to move my dream body but not getting very far. I recall very little else and assume I must have lost concentration.

#396 - DILD - 7:12AM

I was feeling really off this morning and decided to sleep a little longer before going in to work. The result was a cool LD. Totally worth it.

I wake from a dream and try to DEILD. I as I sink back into sleep I feel very mild vibrations. I get overly excited and feel my heart race. I try to calm myself but the vibrations end. I should nose plugged here to make sure but I assume I woke up too much. I try to focus on relaxing my body as I put my attention on my crown chakra. I quickly lose focus.

I am at some mixed version of my current workplace and my old elementary school. I see several people from work. Someone is walking with me outside. There is an open area where many people have gathered together holding yellow lilies. Somehow I know they are having a funeral from someone's pet. I remark to my friend how dumb this is as we walk through the crowd and enter the building on the other side.

I feel like I am sitting in a car but I am inside some room. There is a fat bearded guy talking about selling me some herbs. He mentions a list. I only recall him talking about Achuma and Kratom but the list is actually much longer. I say, "That's ok dude. I buy all my shit online."
He replies with, "I also have some weed."
I was about to walk out of the room but I pause at this. "Um... ok. Do you sell bags or single joints?" I really just want a joint.
"Both", he says.
I remember that I have some cash but I left my wallet in the car. Also, I worry that other people will hear this exchange. "Um. I'll get with you later." He nods and I step back outside.

There are still many people gathered around for the funeral. I realize I am smoking a cigarette next to Spencer. I remember that I quit smoking and begin to feel sick. I have only smoked half the cigarette and I feel a little bad for wasting it as I throw it down. I look up at the people standing around, as I wonder why I was even smoking. I look back down at the cigarette and watch the rest of it fast burn into ash. At that moment I recognize that I must be dreaming. I know I had a goal in mind but I don't care because, I think what I just saw was the coolest thing ever. I also notice that I have never smoked a cigarette in a lucid dream.

I quickly search around for another cigarette. I don't think to check my pockets but instead rummage around the nearst area. I see two empty plastic planters stacked on a low concrete wall. I quickly find something the right shape, but as I focus on it, I see it is a white crayon. I decide this will do and I hold it like a cigarette as I mimic a lighter motion with my other hand. I see sparks and flame as I put it to the end of the crayon. I take a nice long draw from it and in hale. Jeff is standing next to me watching and I intentionally blow the smoke in his face. I notice the taste and feel as do this; it's all very faint. Jeff smiles and lets out a laugh while looking astonished. I walk away and decide to show off for the crowd. I really want to repeat the fast burn cigarette at will. I spot my friend Lindsey in the crowd as I step up on the low wall. I avoid her gaze as I know she would disapprove of my smoking in waking life. I hold the cigarette up for all to see and point at the tip with my other hand. As I move my finger from tip to butt the cigarette fast burns and drops away as ash. I hear a few people gasp but mostly there is laughter. The dream goes black and I quickly wake up.

#394 - DILD - 5:55AM

I am walking in the street with someone. We watch a strange looking UFO fly down and hover over someone. Then, in a flash of light, they disappear. I say to the person how amazing this is. I just can't believe I witnessed a UFO abduction right in the middle of downtown. I notice how everything turned from night to daytime really quickly and I feel like I am missing something important. My thought is interrupted by someone ushering me into a building. [Something] happens inside and then we are ushered out. When I turn around, the building dissolves into my old house; the first one I bought with my ex-wife. Someone tells me everything (the UFO abduction and building) was just holograms an illusions. I laugh that I got punked so hard and watch the next person get it. Things happen differently this time and the 'abductee' walks down the street toward the building. I follow closely behind the hologram and laugh with my 'friend' as I watch my hand pass into it. It's like a ghost but the more I play with it the more solid it becomes. I think maybe the hologram passed over an actual person. I only recall random and fleeting images next (sexy time with wife?), but I somehow end up in that old house talking to my wife.

I wonder why we decided to buy this house. I really don't want to live here after-all. Then I quickly recall that I have had this exact dream before. As I nose plug, my wife is telling me something. I am not listing because I am trying to make sense of why I feel like I am slightly blowing through. Am I really dreaming? I do several more nose plugs, but the last one is more deliberate and I blow cleanly through. I am dreaming! I don't want to be here at all so I immediately leave my wife and head out the back door. As I cross the yard, I feel guilty for just running off. I wonder if there is something important there that I should resolve. I pull myself over a privacy fence and, for fun, climb a tree. I see my old neighbors house and try peaking in the window. I wonder if they would recognize me if they saw me. Ridiculous. I ponder the house issue while up there. I admit that I did enjoy some memories living in that house and I do miss it in a way. I decide to climb down and resolve this. There is a long winding limb the leads down to the trunk of the tree and I enjoy extra upper arm strength as I move along it like a monkey. I jump down and float toward the street in the front. Someone is growing beans along the road and I have to step over them. I find this curious, but decide to ignore it.

I get down the street and see the house. It now looks like every window has been removed. I can see bare 2X4s and insulation around the edges. I feel like there is some meaning here, but I can't imagine what it is. I enter the house, determined to play this dream out. I act like I am considering buying this house a second time. I begin looking things over, forgetting about the windows already. I notice the laminate wood flooring is still there and looks really nice. I move down the hall and see my wife and son. I pass them and enter the front bathroom. In waking life, I installed ceramic tile over concrete slab, but here there is several layers of linoleum over plywood. I can see a lot of water damage around the bathtub as I peel the edges back. In fact, the wood feels soft and moist even now. My son gets in the way of what I am doing and I have to move him out of the way. I stop and ponder things now. I decide this house really isn't so great after-all and the emotions I get from it feel resolved. It's time to let this place go. Feeling like I accomplished something, I get up and head outside while my wife and son follow behind. I feel like I have been dreaming a really long time now, and consider waking myself up so I won't forget things. I really think I could wake up at will, but it's been a long time since I have had a nice long lucid so I decide to leave it alone for now.

I see our Nissan down the street and tell my wife that I will race her. I hope she agrees because I know that I am still dreaming and I will impress her with my ability to teleport. She nods and I let it happen. There is a surging streak of light and color and I find myself sitting in the car. Unfortunately, it's not a complete teleport because, I can see two realities. Yes, I am sitting in the car but I can also see the place that I was standing layered over. I look over at my wife standing next to me and this brings me completely back to start. I stand up, feeling a little embarrassed. As we resume walking to the car, I tell her how I almost teleported and ask her what it all that looked like to her.
She just says, "It looked really weird."
I nod and say, "I bet it did. I was really there for a second."

Now, at the car, I get caught up with trying to manually put my son in his car seat. None of the straps and buckles are working right and I spend a lot of time fumbling with things. My wife is trying to help me, but it's just not working right. The dream destabilizes and I decide it's fine to go ahead and wake up now.

#392 - WILD - 3:44AM

Almost an hour WBTB with some meditation and the usual Galantamine dose.

I focus on body awareness and quickly enter into a very long transition in vibrations and SP. I use every trick I can think of to get the dream going but it's being very stubborn. I forget most of the sensations, but it was all very typical for me and only mildly interesting. Eventually, I find myself floating listlessly above the foot of the bed. I look up and see the floor. I am upside down so I reach for the floor landing on all fours. I crawl out of the bedroom into the living room, heading for the front door. I feel very weak and gravity is extra heavy. The dream is very unstable and non-vivid but it's all I've got right now. I continue to crawl, making very little progress. I know I need to stand, but the thought of it seems impossible. I tell myself, "Don't be a pussy." as I use all my will to stand up.

As I stagger to the front door I see a line of dead bolts spin to the unlocked position. I was grateful for this, because the thought of manually unlocking all them seems like an impossible task at the moment. I feel hopeful as I reach outside but the dream is still really unstable. I float to the grass in the yard and feel with my hands as I revert back to crawling. I note the texture and feel as my legs drag across long blades. I recall Jenkees' dare to have theatrical music and try to conjure up something. The Indiana Jones Theme song begins to play in my ears. This is all wrong for the moment so I shake the sound out my mind. At this point the dream decides to crash.

I wake up feeling mentally exhausted and decide to hope for DILD later. I mantra "Remember mindfulness" as I fall back to sleep.

#393 - DILD - 4:07AM

Originally Posted by From Ringworld, by Larry Niven.

"I have a variable-sword," said Speaker-to-Animals. "I urge calm." The kzin stood against a curved wall. In one clawed fist he held something like an oversized jump rope handle. Ten feet from the handle, held expertly at the level of the kzin's eyes, was a small, glowing red ball. The wire which joined ball to handle was too thin to be visible, but Louis didn't doubt it was there. Protected and made rigid by a Slaver stasis field, the wire would cut through most materials including the back of Louis's crash couch.

I am at an old slave house back in the 1800's. The door is boarded up but I manage to breakthrough. I feel compassion and want to free them all. I load everyone up into covered wagon and try to think of a way to get them to the underground railroad.

I have a mini wake-up but fall right back to sleep. I am now in a mixture of my basement and the old dirt floor garage from a house I lived in as a child. I am mindlessly digging up the dirt floor wanting to make a tunnel. As I do this I recall the previous dream. I notice how odd it is that the dirt just vanishes as I dig. It's very minecraft-life. After a moment I pause and stare out a window in a door. Something feels off. I remember to be mindful and quickly recognize this as a dream.

I step outside now unconcerned with digging. I quickly recall one of my goals. I want to revisit the lightsaber play from a non-lucid dream that I had last week while taking another stab at the theatrical music. Recalling the visuals, I blind summon a red lightsaber and give it a few spins. It looks good at first but the light quickly fades out as I walk around the house. I come around the side and see a very strange and distorted version of my Dodge with all sorts of attachments jutting out from the sides.

I look at my lightsaber, but it only look like a laser pointer as I stare at a red dot on the driveway. I decide this is ok because it is now a variable-sword like the one in Ringworld. I flick my wrist and make a cut at one of the chrome appendages on the car. I see it slice a very thin line but it doesn't fall off. I go ahead and give a tap making the thing drop away. I make another slash at the side-view mirror with the same effect. Ok that's kind of cool. Now I need my music. I try to summon something, but all I get is random humming in my head that sounds pretty weak and ridiculous. I let it go for now and wonder around with my sword.

To my left, I see smoke from a something like a brush pile, and to my right, I see a tree covered with Christmas lights. I am torn between the two; looking back-and-forth. This seems to do something strange with my eyes causing my eyelids to flit open, waking me up.

#389 - DILD - 11:39PM


Bedtime: 9:30-10:00PM

I was surprised by an early night lucid last night. I don't have much for the entry because I nearly forgot it. I did my best to recall upon awaking but I was so tired that I quickly fell back into a non lucid dream before I could make and entry.

I should note that I was trying to get lucid prebed. I simply fell asleep being totally aware of all body sensations similar to an SSILD short cut.

I find myself lucid talking with some woman. I am having a hard time understanding and retaining what she is saying but I feel like the information is important. I tell her that I can't understand her and the word appear in a font on a wall from something like and overhead projector. I start reading but my words sound like gibberish and I quickly realize the words are just random letters or something like a foreign language. I shout about how nothing is making any sense.

I have an FA and tell Rex about a lucid dream that involved the three stooges. For some reason I have trouble pronouncing 'stooges'.

I am in a field hiding behind a log having a bow and arrow shootout. I am loosing and shout at a woman to help. I call her by my wife's name. I know this is the wrong name but I just go with it. I look over the log and see a guy running up on my. I shoot him with an arrow but there is no tip and it looks bent a broken. I only hope the close range does some damage. As I release the arrow I shout, "Die mother fucker!"

2:00AM
Since my LD was so weak, I decide to go ahead and do my WBTB. After a period abstinence the day before, I have 1/2 a bottle frappuccino (about 6-7oz.) at WBTB. I was really tired and didn't stay up longer than a few minutes of trying to rouse myself in the kitchen. I feel asleep once again focused on body sensations and repeating goals as a mantra. I didn't get lucid but I had some very vivid and cool dreams.

2:48AM

I am extremely late for work at my parents old house. I try to put a lunch together. I look in the fridge but nothing looks good or right.

4:03AM (Star Wars KOTOR style)

I am walking through a starship with some battle companions. There are large orbital droids with blue force fields attacking us. I fight back with a red light saber and force push powers. The lightsaber hilt resembles a blue baseball bat handle. I find it looks odd but feels very nice in my hand and gives me great maneuverability. I make a lot fancy movements putting my weapon into a blur of red as I spin and slash through my enemies. My force push shows some light faint blue energy from my hands as the droids smash into walls and shatter. At one point I lose focus and miss a droid with my lightsaber. I think to throw my lightsaber but fear it wont return. The droid glides over my head and behind me. I try force pushing behind my back but it misses. I do a backwards thrust with my lightsaber and cut the droid in half without looking. At one point I assist my friend with a blue lightsaber by trusting my lightsaber to the hilt into a larger droid. I watch as the metal turns molten.

I am now separated from my companions but I think I see the one with the blue lightsaber enter something like steel elevator doors. I follow and cautiously peer into a small corridor with gold shimmering beams of light along the walls. I can sense danger and I decide to pause. As I step back I see a new type of ominous looking droid materialize before me. I dodge a red streak of blaster fire as the doors close. I consider reentering to attack but my lightsaber is now acting crazy. There seems to be some red light poking out of the butt of the bat handle and the lightsaber and I am able to use my finger to push it back in. It doesn't hurt me and when I look back at the other end, I see that the beam of hot red death is now a harmless balloon. As I run away from battle I notice that I can hear air hissing into the balloon causing it to enlarge into an irregular shape. I try to hold back the air but the balloon continues to grow. I panic that I will be without a weapon and pat my side for a blaster. Then I remember that I can use the force and I drop the now useless lightsaber with new confidence.

I come to the end of a metallic corridor and find a large air duct. I recall that this was the way I sneaked in but I sort of feel that I am just making this all up now. I find the space is much smaller than I thought and as I try to squeeze in, I become super claustrophobic. I look for another way out and see Darleen from work exiting the corridor through a side door. I follow after her and wake up.

5:19AM (Snooze alarm)

I am at work and see there isn't much to do. I ask Darleen what the deal was and she said there was a problem in Engineering. She tells me that when is all resolved she will be "dancing with joy."
I jokingly ask, "Who is this Joy person?" Everyone laughs.

#388 - DILD/DEILD - 6:46AM

I am entering a house with a young and mildly attractive woman. She is being flirty but I ignore this. She's talking about how she goes running to negate the bad effects of smoking. I tell her that this is really pointless, but she assures me that 10 miles a day is more than enough. I remain unconvinced but I let it go. She tells me that she wants me to go jogging with her but I tell her that it would look bad if we are seen together.

I sit on a couch in the living and she sprawls across a love seat adjacent to me. I notice she's removed most of her clothes and I can see she has grown much fatter with stretch marks and varicose veins all over her body. I notice she has a pretty face and think how its too bad the rest of her looks so horrible.

As I sit I quiet my mind and look around. I can see her family at a dinning table beyond with woman on the love seat. Something looks odd. It's took blurry. I can't make out the faces.
This is a dream. No. I'm just pretending. This is real life. I continue to stare at the family. They look so odd and motionless. Wait... No this might really be a dream. I worry that the dream will crash if I do anything, but I decide to go ahead and do a nose plug to settle my internal debate. I blow cleaning through. The dream crashes. I knew it!

I wake up and move a bit but quickly decide to hold still for DEILD. I focus on deeply relaxing my body and body awareness. I realize that I feel like I am being dragged like someone is pulling me by my though it doesn't feel like anyone has a hold of me. As soon as I note this the sensation stops. I focus on feeling it again and it starts back up. It slow at first but quickly accelerates to high speed. I feel G-forces in my stomach and gasp.

I notice that I am feeling very faint vibrations like tingles in my arms and decide that It's probably safe to move. When I pick up my left arm the dragging stops and I open my dream eyes. It's very sunny in the room and as I get up, I watch my feet move to the floor like I am looking at a foot cam.

I am in a very tiny version of my bedroom with no door to exit. There is only a night stand and a window. I see the window but think it would be funner to phase through the wall. I haven't done this in a while and I very sloppily try to push my face through. It feels like rubber so I try to claw and tear through. Unfortunately, as I struggle with this I am sucked back to my body in bed.

I hold still and wait and quickly see a scene form. I am laying in a sunny spot with trees around me. The green leaves look extremely vivid but when I try to move the scene crashes. I decide to focus and wait for another scene but quickly lose lucidity.


I recall some short and random scenes before waking up. I tell Wurlman about getting lucid. The woman from earlier pulls her pants down and shows me her ass. All those veins. I turn away. Other images that I can't recall.

#387 - DILD - 5:32AM

I went to be late at midnight and had planned to take Galantamine at WBTB around 4AM, but at 2AM I had a horrible nightmare that made me think about the waking life implications. I have been taking 5-HTP pre-bed for depression and it's really been giving me powerful vivid dreams, though non-lucid. I was actually excited to see how Galantamine would work for me now but my thoughts kept me wake for over an hour so I decided it wasn't the night. I felt restless legs starting and I got up to take 1mg Melatonin and 400mg Ibuprofen. I considered trying an induction technique, but I really just wanted to fall back to sleep and stop thinking about stuff. I used randomness to quickly pass out, hoping at least, desire would catch the dream.

Much later, I am on a road trip with some 'friends' (their faces aren't anyone I know IWL) and we come to some city. Springfield? Someone mentions that it should be close to time for them to start filming SNL and they all really want to go. I look at the clock and see it's 4:30. I figure we have an hour before it starts but I realize we aren't that close to New York and something about the time feels wrong. Still, I have a strong urge to go alone so I ignore this.

Somehow I end up in a room with a stage. There are very few folding chairs scattered about in clusters and even less people sitting in them. I think this is very odd, but I continue to take a seat. Amy Peohler is on stage talking with another unknown person. It is some sort of pre-show and they point to a guy in our group. They set up some agreement that he would somehow be apart of some skit. This guy looks vaguely familiar and is wearing a yellow shirt with camouflage pants and combat boots. He has thick curly black hair and looks like a person with a sense of humor. He stands up, salutes, and says, "Yes commander."

I have a memory gap, but find myself lucid from doing some form of awareness/mindfulness. I think I forgot most of this, but I recall that I have been watching the show for what feels like a long time. Amy is gone and there is some other celebrity on stage talking. She looks a lot like Megan Trainor with brown hair wearing some light blue prom dress. As I watch her drone on, I feel like the dream is becoming unstable because I feel like can't hold all of this in my head for much longer. The concentration of sitting here idly while trying to remember all that has been said is way too much for me. I have the idea that I really need to be doing something active to keep the dream stable. I try to think what to do knowing that I should have a goal, but I can't be bothered with it right now. Suddenly feeling outrageously rebellious, I have an idea. I leap up from my seat, run to the stage, plant a hand on the edge, and vault myself in front of the woman. Without hesitation, I grab a hold of the front of her silky blue dress, and pull down. This surprising reveals her naked breast to everyone. I am not sure what I thought would happen but this really does surprise me. She stands there for a moment in shock while I admire her cleavage. I have a mild temptation to have some fun, but I quickly resist and turn away.

I return to my seat and make a grand gesture to the now growing audience. The woman is still standing there unashamed and laughing as everyone else erupts with excitement. As I watch, I purposefully look only at her face and not her bare breasts. Suddenly, blue text appears as an overlay to the stage. It appears social media is blowing up because of what is happening on live television. I can see the comments on Twitter and all of the tagging of other people, @soandso @thisguy @somebody (I can't remember the names). Then hashtags appear #something #lookatthis. Again, I don't recall the actual words and I think was mostly gibberish anyway. I laugh at bit, but but start to really really bad for the woman. It feels like shame and embarrassment and something inappropriate. I don't like the feeling so I decide that I want something really hilarious to show up. As I gently will the dream to respond, I think these words and they appear clearly in front of the stage alongside the rest. I am not sure how this showed up, but its more like my subC put it out there for me: "@ISIS hates Megan Strait. #ISIS" I get the feeling that these people would really hate knowing this woman bared her breast on live television. It's not really funny to me, but I decide this will be DJ entry title. The dream quickly fades.

I have an FA where I am trying to recall the dream and how I even got lucid. I remember as I see the funny camo guy holding a milk carton with the word 'Ninja' on it. He tells me that this was 'Ninja Juice' and as soon as I saw the word 'Ninja', BAM I was lucid. Then, I actually wake wondering if this is true.

#384 - DILD 6:37AM

This dream was probably inspired by watching "Gravity" and "Guardians Of The Galaxy" yesterday.

I am the captain of a starship. I have somehow acquired several other ships either by space battles or other means. I look at a computer readout showing several ship ordered by value. The one at the top is worth 8 something billion dollars, almost 9. There is some older woman who I think of as important. She is in need of a ship of her own and I am feeling generous. I decide to let her have her pick, but not the most valuable one. That one is mine. Shes comes back not liking any of the starships I offered her so I reluctantly offer the more valuable one. I haven't really got to check out this ship yet so I decide to go with her. I see that I have a spacesuit on with a helmet already. I notice that there is no face shield and I am able to put my hand inside the helmet. I decide there must be some sort of force field that will activate when I go out. I open the air lock and make a quick space walk to the other ship that is docked to my main ship. I use something like a large air tank to propel me forward but when I look down it is just a can of air duster. I feel embarrassed and quickly drop it. Unfortunately, I don't think to take in the view of space during this all of this.

I climb up a ladder and come to the main bridge. It looks very much like something from Star Trek but there are skeletal corpses standing around. I feel fear and disgust but I remember this is the effect of the weaponry I used against them. I haven't had a change to clean this up. I think I see one of the corpses moving but when I look I see that it was just my imagination. I make my way through some darkened corridors and feel I am being followed. I turn around and see that one of the corpses really is moving and right behind me. I say, "You're dead. You're not supposed to be following me." Then I quickly dismiss the whole thing as I turn a corner and open a door. There is a room full of people that are still alive and healthy. I am not sure how to handle this so I hit my communicator badge, "Dad.... I mean... err... Co.. Commander." It's really weird having my dad as my "Number One" officer. I tap again, "Commander, we still have people in here. I need assistance immediately." There is no reply but I feel like he got the message. I find a darkened room that I really need access to but I can't find any light switch. I tap my badge again, "I need power diverted to Engineering." This doesn't do anything for me. I feel a little panicky now, "Commander, come here please. I need help."

*Memory Gap*

I am now somehow lucid and talking to a woman on an old Motorola RAZR flip as I walk around the living quarters of the ship. The exact conversation is a little hard to recall but she kept saying, "Tonight's the big night. Stick to the plan. Don't fuck it up." Her voice sounds like Scratch from "Were Alive". There is some other garbled word she says but I focus many on asking what the plan is. I can't get any answer from her other than her repeating the same things. After a long time I hear a click and the phone disconnects. I try pushing the send button as a redial function. There is one ring then silence. I do this several times then try *69. Someone picks up. I say, "Just tell me what the fuck you are talking about. What's the plan? What plan?" I have no idea why I am so hung up on this but I am completely obsessed with getting an answer. As I am on the phone I am paying close attention to the living quarters. Most of it looks like a large mobile home. I end up in some large complex bathroom. There is a section that has a toilet in the shower. I feel like something looks familiar but can't place it (my parents camper trailer). I leave this area and find my mom sitting at a dining table. I let the phone conversation go and decide to ask my mom, knowing that all DCs are connected as part of my subconscious. As I make my way to mom I feel a slight instability to the dream. I know this dream has gone on for quite some time and i wonder when I'll wake up.

I sit down across from here and ask her about the phone call; I forget my exact wording. She responds, "Austin to Houston then to a computer." I was listening really closely and want to make sure I understood her so I repeat it back. She smiles and nods with raised eyebrows like she had really said something great.
I chuckle and say, "That doesn't make any sense. You [My Subconscious] are all crazy assholes." After I say this I realize I am insulting the deepest parts of my psyche. My mom frown and almost looks evil. I lean forward and I large cardboard box appears between me and the edge of the table. It jams into my neck. There is a little pain but I feel like I am choking. I decide to give up on all of this now and try to think of actual goals as I stand up. I wake up.

#383 - DILD - 12:45AM

A large dose of Yohimbe Bark late in the morning, some melatonin to fight the lasting insomnia, and watching Lucy movie may have helped this LD along. It was a little after 11pm when I last looked at the clock and I had multiple awakenings all night. Most of my non lucids where boring and I found myself contemplating the movie in dream several times.

I was previously lucid from something about the movie. I ended up losing lucidity for awhile and I forgot all of the first part. I have been chasing after someone or something and I eventually stop becoming introspective once again.

I remember that I was lucid and come back to it once more. I look at my hands and the environment around me. My hands look pretty normal with a hint of dream quality. I realize I am on a hillside at night. I search my mind for a few of my goals. First I recall wanting to have an XCOM dream. I summon a rifle and hear distant marching as I move forward. I search for aliens to shoot but when I look down I see I have no rifle. Ugh. Try something else.

I recall wanting to try some of the things Lucy did in the movie but I am distracted by a super huge moon at the top of the hill. I run forward but have difficulty finding my footing. I look down and back up and see the moon is gone but there is a large dark sphere at the top of the hill now. I see a silhouette of a man in a cockpit at one part of the sphere. I remember to try CL's pinch zoom to get a better look but it doesn't work. I feel silly making motions in the air and give that one up too.

The I remember once again Lucy. I try to slap away the sphere and make time past to day time. Doesn't work. Then I try I teleport like she did an surge forward. The dream goes dark.

I wake up and look at the clock. The time is clear and says 11:30pm. I am really surprised at this and guess I must have fallen straight into a dream. The room lights up and I see all the sheets are gone. I look over and see the woman version of The Master wearing her stupid hat and in some kinky red lingerie. She's droning on something but all I can say is, "Wow the sheets are gone!" I wake up.

My she's ugly.

#382 - DILD - 4:14AM

Daytime awareness
Meditation
Determination

I am driving and thinking about a conversation I had with someone. MP's (from work) husband had a baby with another woman and I feel bad for her because her religion wont let her divorce. While I am driving and have some quiet time I quickly do some awareness. Suddenly, I realize that it is supposed to be late at night, but the sun is shinning brightly. I think this must be a dream and instead of doing my usual nose plug, I pull back on the steering wheel.

The car lifts into the air and I know for sure that I am in a dream. I see that I am on a country road and continue down in though I am hovering several feet above it. I start thinking about goals and for some reason I repeat from my last dream. I think I need to find a DC and at that moment I spot a farmer in overalls on the side of the road next to his pickup. He seems to be messing with a gate that leads into a pasture. I go too fast and pass him before I can stop so I try a hard U-turn. The laws of inertia seem to apply here and I hover sideways a bit before getting the car around. I quickly get to the farmer and, instead of my usual car phase I actually use the door. The act of physically getting out of the car seem really taxing.

I ask the farmer, "What is the nature of reality?"
He immediately starts saying random words that don't form any coherent sentence. It sort of reminds me how I sometimes do that to help me fall asleep.
I ask again and this time he says, "Hyperdimensional continent."
I am not sure this makes any sense so I ask, "Can you put reality into another word?" I really meant to ask a deeper question about reality and see if I can get and idea of what is behind it all. At the very least, I was going to ask him to tell me a story and see what happens.
Anyway, he replies with more nonsensical reply than before, "Presidential candidate." Then he suddenly he lets out a moan of pain, "Oooooh!" I look down and notice that I am rubbing my thumb into the backside of his elbow. This spot is hurting me in the dream and I truly think that I have been massaging my own pain while we were talking. I apologize and explain all this to him. I start to turn away from, but the dream begins to crash. There is darkness, then a few random and fleeting images, some voices, then I wake up. I have a really tough time recalling the dream for several seconds.

3:44AM
Joyce from work is holding me like I am a small child. I am trying to fall asleep but can't because she is talking about eating with another lady. I try to talk and move but I feel so sleepy and lethargic. This reminds me of a dream sign and I think I should nose plug but I don't have the energy to try. I really think this might be a dream but I tell myself to give is some more time.

I have an FA were I am trying to DJ but nothing is working right and I can't move. I realize I am dreaming and decide to wait a little longer.

I have another FA in a car. I am with my wife and her mom. I have false memories about camping and fishing. It's a shame we didn't get to fish much after driving all that way. I as my mother-in-law where we went camping. She says Michigan. Thinking of Wurlman I ask were in Michigan. She tells me it was near St. Florentine(not a real place) I an feeling really guilty about having camped in Michigan but totally not going to Wurlman's wedding. I tell her something about my friend living in near there and we should have drove a little farther.

5:05AM
I watch a movie of WWII paratrooper Bugs Bunny diving out of an airplane. His chute doesn't open and he does an impossible belly flop in the water. The environment is realistic but Bug's is cartoon giving it a Roger Rabbit feel. Bugs then tries to deploy his inflatable raft but that's not working either. He swims off.

I am standing in an old fashioned store in Nazi Germany. I am working as a spy with several others. Bugs Bunny is talking about calling customer service about his parachute and raft not working. There is a more modern corded phone on the wall but it is unplugged. I try to help him out but I am afraid of getting caught.

For some reason I am staring off at a wall. A Nazi soldier walk's by and yells at me to get back to work. I drop the phone cord and leave Bugs Bunny to fend for himself. As I wonder around I see there are many unusual items on displays as well as people working on wire harnesses. I tell myself that I used to do that back home and could probably jump back into it to blend in. However, I am not sure why they are building something like this in this time period. Certain items start to look really steampunk and I dismiss it as secret advancement.

I pay close attention to various tools for sale in hard plastic packages. They all look really alien but I can see how each one has a specific use. The detail is extremely vivid and interesting. Had I become lucid I doubt I would have done anything any different.

After a minute or two I find a familiar face. Some guy that looks like celebrity that I don't know the name of. He's one of the other spies. He tells me that he's really working for the Nazi's now and is planning to stay. I notice he is wearing modern clothes but I just think he's not in uniform anymore. He's really quit. I look down and have a brown military uniform on but I am holding a t-shirt with a Captain America symbol on it in black and gray colors distressed colors. I am in some conversation with the man as he walks out of the store. Not wanting to look like I am stealing the shirt, I stop at the door and yell some final words at him. When I turn around, I hear a faint alarm.

I look down at the shirt and see no sensor tag on it but I feel like the alarm is because of me. I look back and see the man come in. I feel like my cover is blown and I begin to hear theatrical pulsing danger music. I tell him that we are in trouble and need to run but he doesn't seem convinced. I say, "Don't you hear the music?" Then is dawns on me that this is related to a lucid dare I was going to try. I know I am dreaming and don't need to nose plug. Unfortunately, the dream crashes right at that moment.

6:48

I am sitting on the couch next to my mom. She tells me my old elementary school teacher, Mr Miles, just passed away and flashes a vivid photo of him. I am said and tell my mom he was my favorite teacher of all time. I cry a little and my wife comforts me. I want to see that picture of him again but my mom can't find it. I take her camera and look through he pictures stored on memory. I ask mom how she knows he died and she tells me that she just talked to his wife. I am confused why she's been talking to her. My mom knows my old teacher's wife? Takes really weird. My vision is blurry and I can't really tell what I am looking for on the camera so I try to look him up online on my laptop. I try to type his name and the town and school he taught in but I can't get anything to work right. All of this reminds me of how when I have a FA and I try to type in my DJ. I think it can't hurt to do a nose plug and I am shocked by the result.

Lucid now, I stand up and run forward into another room with some random DC's chilling in some chairs. I fly around the room with my arm out like an airplane. The DC's smile at me and seem to accept this as normal. There is a strong feeling of G-forces in my gut as I circle around back to the door.

I go back into the living room but it is now a totally different house. It's way more spacious that anything I've even been in and every room and has really light brown thick fluffy carpet. The walls are nearly the same color but it has a serene and heavenly feel to it. I rush through at kitchen with a large island and come to some sort of den or family room. My father is relaxed on a cough giving me a knowing look. I fly around this room a few times but I become preoccupied thinking I had a goal in mind. I try for several seconds but it just wont come to me. Not wanting to ruin the dream, I decide to forget about it.

I come back around to the dad DC and take his hand trying to pull him off the cough. I want him to go adventuring with me but he won't move. For some reason, I notice his hand feels funny. My sense of touch is numbed but his hand feels spongy. I try to ignore it, "Dad, I am having a dream. Get up lets go." He waves me away. "But Dad, it's a lucid dream."

I fall to the floor now and the dream goes dark. I feel the carpet and try to stabilize myself. The plush is deep and I dig in holding on. My left leg twitches and it feel as if I am on my stomach. I wonder if it's my physical body but I know I am not sleeping on my stomach. Then, I feel as if my feet are being pulled up and I wonder if my Dad DC was an actual entity if he sees me being sucked into a vortex from the dream world into the waking world. I can almost see it in my mind. I hear strange noises and then I wake up.

#379 - DILD - 5:37AM (2 of 2)

I am looking in the back seat of the car for something and can't find it. I look up and see the car is rolling forward. I remember that I was in bed just a moment ago and know it's a dream. I recall my conversation with Wurlman during the podcast about having fun with cars so I go for it. I have other goals but I decide to go ahead and hop in the driver seat. The car has rolled off the street it was parked on and heading toward a wooden fence. I gun it and ram through. The feeling of invincibly surges through me. I am surprised by a second chain-link fence and crash through that one as well. It has a nice sound effect.

I come onto a four-lane highway going through a residential area. I follow the road going faster and faster. The car becomes slightly hard to handle during turns and I clip the side of a house. I don't care; this is all really fun. After a bit, I notice my view pulls back into a 3rd person perspective. I see a downtown area like on GTA5 and the dream looks very much like a video game. I notice I am not in my car anymore but some light blue SUV. I make the car go as faster (as I can imagine in this scenario) as I hit a sharp hill. It was only natural to take to the air at this point. I make the car fly up around the sky scrapers and I do a sharp turn to look around. I enjoy the view of the city, but then, I lose control and the car takes a fast dive into a busy street. There is some fiery explosions but it is mostly obscured by a large, thick cloud of opaque, black smoke.

Suddenly, my younger daughter opens the bedroom door whining about something. I assume she's had a bad dream. My wife asks her whats wrong and my daughter replies, "The ants are living with the five."
I lift my head up and say, "What?" I assume she's either had a bizarre dream and is still out of it or this is typical DC nonsense.
I become semi-lucid but I feel very confused about where I am and who's bed I am in. For some reason I think I am a child again sleeping next to my mom as my dad works the night-shift. Slowly, I make sense of everything and try to make a DJ entry. However, as I fumble around the feeling of heavy SP, I remember this isn't going to work in a dream. I notice now that my arms and head are vibrating, though I feel like I am awake and moving around. I am not really sure if this is even possible, so I relax and lay still, preparing for an OBE type exit. I spend a few seconds here and I begin to go deeper, but it's at this point that my wife sighs loudly, rolls over, and shakes me awake.

OK so I'm not counting this but at least I'll celebrate this little lucid moment and enter all my dreams straight from my DJ notes for the night. I'm actually impressed with myself for recalling so many. 10

3:01am

Ith (Wow that was such a good dream it left me unable to type.)

5:40AM (I recall several dreams)

I am at work and talking to Brandon. For some reason I put hot solder on the wire coming out of the tip of my dick. Brandon puts hot solder on his beard and it wicks up all over so that he has a solid metal beard.

My wife is in some open office that looks like a mesh of ancient Greece and something more modern. I think shes looking super sexy in her outfit. He has a gray business dress on but with colorful thigh high socks. I admire her as she is debating with some scum bag politicians. One of them looks a lot like Bruce Greenwood. I don't understand the issue but they are trying to bully her with some issue and she stands her ground without losing her cool. I admire her even more for that. After the men leave she tells me that she'll have to talk to my bitch sister about this and the conversation will be hard. I say well at least your not having to deal with my bitch ex-wife.

Brandon asks me to join his band and play guitar tonight. I am not sure I remember how but I say I will. Then someone starts playing the keyboard and everyone sings a version of "Oklahoma". I don't know the words so I just stand there silent.


I really have to pee but the bathroom looks very strange. There is a deformed toilet that might cause me to piss everywhere and next to is is a nearly full bucket. I choose the bucket. The sensation is accurate but I am not feeling any relief. A duplicate version of me shows up to my left and tells me not to pee in the bucket. We debate weather or not this is a dream. I finally figure it out but have to jolt myself away to rush to the bathroom.

7:06AM

We are camping. Some super nerdy guy shows up and screams, "PART ANIMAL!" We make fun of him. I say something about him partying alone. A second nerd shows up. I say, "Ok party of two." A third shows up and I start to say something else up something in the sky catches my eye. I look up and see something like a large submarine bobbing around and floating in the sky. Is this a dream? No that seems legit... No wait that can't happen. I better check. I do a nose plug and it feels obstructed but not quite normal. I do another but more deliberately and I blow clean. I am happy and start thinking about goals but I wake up almost immediately. I don't think to try DEILD.

8:15AM ( I recall two more)

We are back at the beach. The city has put a playground right in the sand and I let my son play. I walk up to the water but it looks like some sort of pink scum is growing on top. I notice there are no waves and there are small hills with clumps of grass poking out of the water. I put a foot into the pink stuff and it has a feeling like cooked oatmeal. Gross. I look farther down the coastline and see a more normal beach with some nice waves rolling in. I shout back to my wife, "We need to move farther down to swim."

I have a kilt with a dress shirt on. As part of some protest, I am supposed to go to Wal-Mart like this and ask for a copy of the US Constitution. I start having second thoughts and realize this is a totally stupid thing to do. I am not going to be seen in a kilt! How does this even make sense? Why am I protesting? I'm not even trying to be political these day! I go to the bed to room to take these clothes off but I have several layers on. I notice my Fudpucker's shirt is the last but it seems wet and suction to my skin. I panic as I struggle to get it off me.

9:15AM (a few more as I woke for the day)

I discover and go to the upper management breakroom at work. It has all sorts of baked goods in a glass cabinet. I take a biscuit but also really want one of those super tall cupcakes. As I take the cupcake I notice they actually cost. Oh man!
Everything is 85 cents so I dig in my pocket for change. I can't seem to add up the cost but I'm sure I have enough to cover it and then some. There is a slot in the side of the cabinet and I hear the coins slide down and hit in a pile. I dropped a nickle and a few pennies. As I pick them up a man asks to borrow 4 cents. I just give him what I have and tell him I was over paying anyway and I just want to get rid of all this change. He takes it and I go to a table in the hallway to be alone. I have a hard time carrying my food and coffee but I manage. Then I get it all like a fat kid enjoying every second. As I start to sip my coffee a man comes into the hallway and start speaking to a group that has now appeared behind me. He says something about out military customers all having one type of mental disorder or another so we need to be really careful how we handle them. Theres something about a schizophrenic that turns into a long conversation.

This morphs into a new dream. I am doing a podcast with some woman named Deanna over skype. We are talking about some guy that has been in the news for some crime but it wasn't clear if he was guilty. We called him live on the podcast and asked if we could interview him. I noticed he sounds like an old smoker and was very friendly and open. We told him our names and that we were from the Lucid For Life podcast.

There was something about being on the moon. I recall the gray landscape but the sky was dark and starless. I had to walk from on building to another on the moonbase. There was something about how the dark side has no gravity. I wondered what it would be like to float off into space.

#376 - DILD - 5:02AM (2 of 3)

I am at Wal-Mart looking for some vitamins. I wander around and realize its all a dream but for some reason I continue walking around looking for the vitamins.

I have and FA and try to record my dream but I can't see clearly and my hands feel numb and clumsy. I put my journal way thinking something is off. My wife gets up and goes to the bathroom. I try again to record the dream fumbling clumsily. As my wife comes back into the room I decide to nose plug just in case. AH! It's a dream.

I get up and enter the living room. It's really dark in there so I try the light closest light switch by the kitchen entrance. It doesn't work and I begin to hear this odd metallic groaning sound. I am intrigued at first but then I think maybe i should be scared. Fear gets the best of me for just a second but I allow anger to override that emotion. I continue to hear that creepy sound and it seems to be coming from the oven.

The room seems to have lit up some so investigate. The oven looks like some bulky white antique looking thing. I note the oddity but I am not concerned with that right now. I yell things at the oven thinking something evil must be inside. The sound continues. "Shut-up! Shut-up and come out of that oven! I dare you!" After a moment I decide to open the oven. I am really worried that I'll have to confront some twisted hell spawn but to my relief there is nothing inside. I decide to just ignore this whole thing and go do other things, but at that moment I wake up.

Lucid Fragment

I also recall a lucid fragment where I was caught up in some Dr Who. trivia on the TV. I was using at a large touch screen but the trivia turned into some 60's and 70's sitcom trivia with video snippets. There was some show called "The Strangers" about a cab driver.