Xanous' Dream Journal

Wow I've been in a bit of a slump and haven't had very many lucids due to my hectic work/life schedule that's been causing me sleep deprivation. I think it's calming down now, so I need to catch up on the DJ especially after this morning. It's not that I've been totally dry, just really slow on the LD's. I've actually had several lucid moments the past month, but they are hardly worth mentioning now.

#481 - DILD - 4:00am (December 14, 2015)

There is something about a dude dying his hair then the scene morphs into me standing in a street in my underwear in some suburban area. There is a man talking on the phone with me as I watch a car park on the street with it's headlights lighting up the night. The man on the phone is saying something about a Japanese ghost. I feel some fear so I go into the house I am standing in front of. The phone conversations gets really weird and I hear a third voice talking. Something feels off and I tell them about it on the phone. No one answers and I begin to wonder if I am the ghost. No, that's not it. I now realize that I am actually dreaming.

I look around the house. There is an open floor plan for the living room and kitchen divided by a bar/island and dining table behind that. I wonder into the kitchen and see the back wall is huge pane glass with a sliding glass patio door. It's too dark outside but I see the interior of the house reflecting back at me. I see a man pass by and disappear into the hallway on the opposite side. Also there is Tonya, a coworker from waking life, standing there looking at me. For some reason I turn around and randomly start doing dishes as I try to think what I want to do. I notice this but don't mind since it's preventing the dream from becoming stagnant and crashing. However, doing dishes in a lucid dream is really boring. Just do something cool.

I look to the opposite wall and see a huge mirror. I immediately charge over there and effortlessly phase through it into a different house. It looks like a mostly white bedroom, including the walls, carpet and bedspread. There is an acoustic guitar on a stand in the corner of the room. I pick it up and start strumming and figuring the few chords I know. The song is a beautiful Mexican classical and I just play away until I wake up.

#241 - DEILD/OBE

I am sitting at work on a Saturday. We have finished all of our work but it's only 8:30am. (My alarm clock from home is at my desk.) Someone hands out information about health insurance changes. I don't like it and say something flippant. Something makes me turn around and I see Obama. He says something about how this a good thing. I say something really rude about how I don't like it and don't believe him. He looks mad but keeps his cool. I begin to feel excited about telling the president off. He tells me that the form on the back has a place to address my concerns. I say oh like that's going to do any good. He says well its hard to tell lies from truths. I reply shit I've been thinking that since the day I was born brotha. I look at my alarm clock again and is it's now almost time to go home. I get ready to leave and wake up

I decide to MILD from this dream and get vibrations starting into more of a DEILD. Suddenly a strong urge to pee brings me out of transition so I get up to take care of that and then go back to MILD. While going to the bathroom I see hallucinations in the dark though I know I am surely awake. There are images of grey aliens obscuring my vision like an after image from a bright light. I see through it as much as I can and ignore it unafraid. What happens next is confusing and my memory is bad.

At some point I get back in transitional stage and have an OBE. There was lots of confusion and sensations but I manage to eventually get the dream started but its unstable as hell. I slowly crawl from my bedroom to the front door, felling the floor along the way for stability. Unfortunately, the moment to touch the door knob my dream ends and I DEILD back to the transitional stage.

I feel really exhausted from my crawl and feel like it took so long. I really don't want to do that again so I just wait in my dream bed. I hear and feel my wife get up to go to the bathroom but think its probably the dream. The stereo is now in the bedroom and music begins to play. It sounds something like a mix of dubstep and southern rock. I enjoy the sound of it and summon a remote in my right hand. It feels more like a touch screen but I pretend like I am pushing a volume button. The music gets progressively louder and reaches a maximum. I try to go beyond that but can't. Then, the song ends and a more heavy metal song begins to play. I have no idea what the lyrics were because when I tried to focus on the words it sounded like gibberish. I continue to enjoy the music all they to a third song thought I don't think they were full songs. At some point, in the last song I begin to move to the beat but feel like I am physically shaking the bed and worry that my wife will wake. That thought makes me think I can hear her coming back from the bathroom and the volume of the music reduces drastically.

I remember some fragment were I become aware while peeing. The sensation of it feels real and I worry about peeing the bed. This thought brings me back to bed.

The there is a huge memory gap here but I have a vague indescribable memory of lucidity and get the feeling like there was more lucid parts. There was another odd transitional stage but the rest could be a false memory because the next dream I recall is about just that though the dream feels different.

I vaguely remember having a FA from a "lucid" at my parents old house. Some really creepy stuff ghostly stuff happening that I took video of on my phone. After the FA I was able to view it and think that I must have been sleep walking the whole time. The video was really odd and confusing and hard to describe as anything other than visual gibberish.

#205 - 5:32AM - WILD?

The cats wake me up making noise. I have a lot of FA's and confusion. At one point I think a cat is in our bed. I pick her up and throw her out but I leave the door open. Another time I wake up and try see the time but the alarm clock is blurry. I think I might be dreaming but I lose it. Another time I start to DJ something but by the look and feel of it, I know it is a FA. I type the words I am dreaming on it but the image fades away. Somehing else happens at some point with strong HI and I realize its all fake and doesn't matter. I think at some point I wake up for real and do breathing meditation.

My body feels different now and I know it's the dream state. I get vibrations and I try to get up several times but I am blind and I end up back in bed. I wait for a moment and just note the sound and feel of it all. I try to roll but it feels real. I think I must be waking now but realize my arms have gone into an impossible position. I try to get up and am only partially blind now. I see the alarm clock on the floor and it clearly says 11:03. I lose sight again and only see dim light. I try to see my hands but it wont form.

I pause now and quit trying so hard. I say, "CLARITY NOW!" and clap my hands. Nothing happens. Then for some reason I say a bunch of Japanese and I sound like that silly Anime soccer game I have on the Wii. I remember something NyxCC said about enjoying the SP and singing a tune. I start to beatbox and want to hear Right On Time by Skrillex. I sound pretty good for someone who has no idea how to beatbox in waking life. Suddenly I can see clearly and I begin to hear some music with a good beat but it is not the song that I wanted. I turn to the mirror and begin to dance. I can see that I am moving incredibly fast and want to see my full body. At that thought the mirror extends to the floor and I can see that I am wearing my performance workout clothes. I think I want to try to C-Walk but my feet are going crazy and are a blur. I try to concentrate on the moves and slow it down. To my amusement I see I am wearing an old fashioned womens high heal on my left foot. I decide I would rather ignore this and just dance randomly. At some point the music morphs into a pop song with a woman singing. I say, "Turn that shit up!". It seems like the sound is coming from a small radio mounted on the wall and when I turn the dial up the sound moves to over by the mirror. The song becomes very realistic and believable but the only lyrics I can remember is "Never wear you out... Never wear you down" (It seems like it sounds like it could be a real song but I can't seem to find it online.) Her voice rings out loud clear and though it's not my choice of music, I just go with it. As she repeats the phrase several times I begin to sing along very loudly. At that point one of the cats starts batting something around in the living room and the noise wakes me up. Bitch.

This set of non lucid dreams were after a natural and brief WBTB with no supplements. I went for the MILD technique but never got lucid. My recall was pretty good considering that I never made notes in my DJ until after I woke for the morning. I used my old technique of just remembering key words and phrases to jog my memory later. I have had considerable trouble with that since I came back last summer and I'm pretty pleased with myself for getting back into my old technique. It makes those micro awakenings less troublesome with a greater chance of DEILD.

Spaceship.

Someone was going to destroy the earth. I left with a group and we were going to destroy the enemy's ship as they left earth but it turned out that they blew themselves up. Capitan Picard ordered me to activate the radiation bomb anyway just to be sure. There was a blue radius blast with our ship in the center.

Then I look at the Capitan and see he is having a heart attack. I assume there is nothing I can do and just watch him die. I notice that he dropped some playing cards that looks like they are made of thick plastic, much like Rummikub pieces. I pick them all up and see the ace of spades. I keep that one separate to hold for good luck. When I turn to leave I see some woman moving hologram images. It looks like a tournament tier for some kind of anime style fighting game. The woman asks if I want to see who wins but I decline and leave.

I enter a forcefield room outside of the ship. I have some conversation with another woman working at a computer terminal in a jumpsuit. We decide its time to leave.

I go into a glass room with other men an women. We all take out our brains and put them in acrylic containers full of some clear liquid. We have to do this in order to survive warp speed into hyperspace. I relax and close my eyes. I feel myself surge forward and then open then and we all put our brains back in. I look to the person to my right and jokingly say, "Oh no we switched brains. You're in my body." The man looks just like me and starts to panic. I tell him I am just joking and laugh.


Tornado

I am in the back yard thinking about digging a swimming pool by hand. There is a good start already and some strange ceramic pools stacked up. I think about how far to dig and remember some advice my father-in-law gave me.

Then I look up and see dark storm clouds. I watch some rotation start and I hear a neighbor shout, "ROTATION!" I watch it vividly and quickly form into a full tornado and join a giant separate tornado. I stare in fascination but remember the last tornado Joplin had and decide to hide.

When I turn around I realize I am in the trailer we lived in when I was 5. I know I don't have a chance but don't know where else to go. I run around and decide to hide in the bathroom. After a few seconds everything seems calm but I am panting and breathing hard with fear. I go back outside and only see dark storm clouds without a tornado. I wake up panting.


Funeral

I am in some place with a group of people. Most of them are black. Some famous person died and Will Smith is saying some words about him. Then we get to see a brand new music video by Will Smith in the mans honor. It sounds really hip hop style but the video makes no sense. I see some drunk celebrities on the floor looking really confused. (I can't remember who they were supposed to be) I see myself with them. I am the only one to laugh out loud at that point. I look around and say, "I remember that."

Commentary
Non-Lucid
Lucid

Bedtime:9:30PM-5:30AM, 6:00AM-10:00AM

Well, we are all sick at my house. I think my wife and son got it the worst. I was mostly taking care of them all evening but we somehow managed to get to bed really decent. I was glad because I felt extremely exhausted and sickly myself. I had decided no WBTB or induction. I would just focus on dream recall. I used a mantra at bedtime to remember dreams. I woke and recorded several until I started getting sick myself. Then it because more difficult because the nausea was so bad. In spite of it all I still had some weak but interesting lucids.

11:00PM
I am riding on some skateboard with a handle to make a scooter. My wife and I rid though a mall and come out the other side. We do tricks and grind on some rails. My skateboard starts looking like a dustpan with a handle as I ride down.


3:02AM
All I remember is what I recorded. Supply run. Zombies.

4:26
I am a child or about 8 or 9 again. I am riding a school bus to go on a field trip. My old friends J and A are there. Even though, I am a child I am still in my current time frame although my awareness is not there. I treasure the moments of friendship and really try hard to be a really good friend to the too of them. I never mention that I was like a time traveler. I keep that to my self.

Later we are walking back to the bus. I am holding hands with my wife. She looks like a child as well. She says how she wishes the bus was empty because she wants to do a little something with me. Then she cracks some sexual joke about my sausage and grabs me. Just then my old supervisor SH walks by. I get embarrassed and hope we don't get in trouble. They act like they didn't hear.

I am feeling really nauseous now after each awakening and fail to record much until later

At some point I visualize healing energy into my body. I am not sure if its just HI or a LD but I see myself lying in bed with shimmering points of light. I am glowing a golden color. I will my immune system to attack any sickness and heal faster. I remember nothing else.

At some point I remember a OBE. I don't know if it was a low level lucid or just a dream about having a lucid. But I transition out of my body and walk into the dining room. The wall looks like an organic inside of a body. I see 4 thick cords running down from wall to floor. I know that if I cut them it will help me feel better. Some how I know that this represent sickness in my throat and will stop vomiting. I pull out a small sword that looks like Sting and cut the cords.

I remember another one much like that last but this time... I transition from OBE and find some other point the represented my bowels. I cut that cord with Sting as well.

Maybe this helped me and maybe this didn't. However, I am not nearly as sick as my wife is. Did I use dreams and visualization to aid healing? Who can tell?

I wake around 5:30am to feed my son. Luckily all went smooth and we both got back to sleep around 6:00am and slept a long time.

Time unknown
I am working on a foam board at work. I am back in PH's department. I have my Galaxy Player (GP) in my pocket listening to Pandora on the wifi. I see several of the women that work there sitting in a line at an adjacent form board. They are doing hand gestures as a sort of dance to the song. I realize the song is a stupid Kesha song and look at my GP. I wonder how they are listen to the same thing as me. Pandora is not an actual radio station. They are all looking at me so I motion to my GP and laugh.
*memory gap*
I use the dragon shout whirlwind sprint (same as focused flying) to zoom down the hallway at work and out the door. I see the colors and hear the sounds just like in Skyrim.

9:51AM
I have an FA and P from work is in my room. We call each other bad names and I tell him to just leave. I am trying to enter some dream on my GP.

I have another FA. I am lying with my eyes closed while listening to my parents talk. Something about they sold a cell phone and now the guy that bought it says its broken. The talk about which plug in to use. From some reason I think they are in the sun room. I want to tell them that one plug stopped working but feel too sick to move. Then my dad say, "I really need to learn to use theee......"

I feel I need to pee so I get out of bed. My mom says, "You need to learn to use the alarm clock." I become startled because her voice is directly behind me. I don't feel I can talk so I just put my hand on my heart and look at her. I can't see because it was dark but I can hear her laughing.

I realize I am back in the house we lived in Luling, Texas. I am standing next to my parents bed. I walk to were my bathroom was and go in. The lighting is bright in here. I see my dad lying on his side in the bathtub staring at me. His throat looks slit and there is blood pooling. I notice he is using a pillow from my current bedset. Startled and annoyed I say, "Well I guess I'll use the other bathroom." When I reach my parents room again I pause and think about what I just saw. I say, "I am still dreaming." I do a nose plug and I think I blow through but it feels a little closed. I want to make sure so I do several more and the last one feels like a clean pass. I rush out of the house because I think of all the scary stuff that happened there. (Supposedly it was "haunted". Long story.) I go out the front door and begin to fly up. But I notice the dream is fading. I hover next to the old Birch tree in the front yard. I rub my hands vigorously and repeat, "I am still dreaming." It's helping some. I try my bicycle DEILD and touch my face some. All feels real. I rub my hands more while biking. Soon I feel like I am lying on my back and doing this in real life. I wonder if my wife is laughing at me yet. That thought was enough to shift my awareness to waking. I hear something and my eyes open.

WBTB Mugwort
MILD

I got to sleep in the recliner and dream about my cats running around and jumping. Sputnik keeps jumping on top of the ledge about the front door, hanging there for a bit and then jumping down to the floor with a thud. I watch for a bit from the recliner and then I remember.

I instantly get vibrations and see a bright white light then dark. The vibrations are week and intermittent. I wait unsure if I am in the dream or not. Then I remember I was already dreaming before. I get up and go outside. I sort of half open the door and half phase through. The door was forgotten.

If feel a brief cold and then a smell like rain. I find that odd for a dream. I can see fine and the world seems solid but I feel like I need to stabilize. I think about liking the sidewalk again. This time I but my hands in some dirt and feel it. It looks more like potting soil. This is were things get ultra real.

I hear some rock music with heavy drums. I look around and the neighborhood looks convincingly real. I seriously wonder if I was sleep walking/dreaming like I used to do as a child. I become really worried and self-conscious. I look across the street toward the direction of the music. It seems like it is the house directly across from me. I try to see who is over there but my vision gets blurry. Then the dream sort of folds in on itself and my awareness shifts to my physical body. I think about DEILD but it doesn't come right away so I think I better enter into my DJ.