Xanous' Dream Journal

#482 - DEILD - 4:11AM

I have a false awakening where there is some sort of party going on in my bedroom with the guys from work. There's some issue with the Playstation and I have to sort it out. I am a little annoyed they were being so loud and woke me up but I manage to go back to sleep.

I wake slightly and move just a bit to get more comfortable and focus on DEILD. There are some very mild vibrations and I get too caught up in focusing on that causing my lucidity to dip a bit.As I wait, my wife rolls over closer and starts making out with me. I'm really enjoying this and wonder if she's woke up wanting to do it or if I am really just dreaming. Either way I don't care and just enjoy the moment. She starts talking about wanting sex and some other things that surprise me a little. I think this is probably a dream and while I ponder that I actually hear her begin to snore. I realize she can't possibly be making out with me and snoring at the same time and my full lucidity returns. Unfortunately my wife begins to toss and turn a bit and it totally wakes me up.

After she settles down, I try to DEILD again only to fail. I am in the living room painting a mural on the wall. I am working painting a man and I keep having trouble with the white beard. I manage to get it to look right, but when I look away to reload my brush, the different color have blended together too much. I step back to the whole picture and I notice different sections that don't go. The man is too small and standing in trees and on the other end someone has painted furniture. I give up and tell myself I'll have to just paint over the whole and start fresh later. I decide to go back to bed for now and when I lay down thinking about all of this, I realize it's a dream.

It's really dark now and my wife is talking a bunch of nonsense. It's so distracting that I can't even think. I shout, "SHUT UP!" Shocked at my out burst I wait for her to retaliate, but she is now silent. I chuckle a bit and wonder if I said that in my sleep because it sounded so loud and clear. I shout out again wondering if maybe I really am awake. I do a nose plug and blow through so I get up, but it all feels to real. I fall back into bed and then decide to just go for it. I get up and move out of the bed room in the total darkness. I shout, "HEY DREAM!" and then fall into an abyss. I enjoy the sensation of falling for a few seconds and then hit the floor. I realize I am back in the bedroom. It's still too dark, but I can see that much. I recall the make out session from earlier and find my wife. I'll spare the details, but I decided to have raunchy sex with my wife. It's a pretty lengthy segment for a lucid dream. Some how we move around the room this is all happening and end up in the bathroom. I notice the woman has shifted from looking like my wife to looking like some other woman. I really just want my wife, but realize this is the nature of dreams.

I stand up in the bathroom and notice is nearly totally dark again. I recall a trick I was told about and blind summon a light from my pocket. I get some light when I flick it, but see some hideous monster with giant eyes looking at me. I put away the lighter and blindly punch at the creature as I move back into the bedroom. I quickly decide to forget I saw that and just wondering into the dining room. I try light switches and even find a huge breaker box. I flip all the switches, but I still can't see. I'm starting to get annoyed now and desperately look for any light source. I notice the fridge is open a bit and light is spilling out of it. I open and study the food items but they all look oddly distorted. I go back into the dining room and see a super bright light coming from a bowl on the table. It's too bright to look at, but only dimly lights the room. I get on the floor and study the wood grain for a bit to stabilize. Now the kitchen light is all the way on so I rush to it. When I get there the room distorts and morphs and the dream fades.

I find myself back in bed looking at my phone. I have a snapchat text open. It's mostly non letter characters, but there is one sentence. "Fell a distance of ooooooohhhhh". I laugh decide it's a log of what happened to me during the earlier part of my dream. I scroll down but the phone zooms into much to see it all and bar of black makes it hard to see. I notice I scrolled past the word "sex", but can't seem to find it again. I've been taking screenshots of all of this hoping that somehow it will be on my phone when I wake up, but I know deep down it wont. Too bad.

Now my daughters come in the room and for some reason this is so distracting that I loose all lucidity. They have swollen sores on there legs and my wife says it has to be bed bugs bites. Somehow I doubt it, but I get up and doctor their wounds anyway. After I do that my wife gets ready to leave and says she needs to take them someplace and she will be right back. I'm confused, but just say, "Ok." Then my son wakes up and runs into the room crying for her. I say, "Oh look. Mohinder woke up." That's not even close to his actual name, but in the dream I don't even find this odd. I have to hold him so my wife can leave out the front door. It's at this point that I wake up.

#456- DILD - 4:49AM

Hell. Why not? A lucid is a lucid. I have had vivid dreams all week and last night was no exception, but I'll be very brief.

I had a very long dream segment were an alien shape-shifting life form wanted to have sex with me and promised to be any woman I so desired. I visualized several very sexy women and the alien obliged me, but I ended just wanting to just be with my wife. I then had two false awakenings were I was trying to "get it" with my wife, but all sorts of crazy things kept interrupting us. I eventually had to go to work and while I was staring at a blueprint, trying to solve a problem with a cable, I became very introspective and suddenly got lucid. The dream instantly began to fade and I spent a couple fuitless moments in the bardo trying to salvage the dream.

#448 - DILD - 9:28AM

Just a short and sweet entry here... I got to get caught up on some sleep and hit on lucidity. I had actually woke up around 1am and tried sleeping in the recliner to induce lighters sleep, but I seemed to have been too tried to make and difference. Around 5AM the sunlight woke me and I moved back to bed with a sleep mask. I recalled several dreams throughout the night.

Summary:
I am on a bus trip. I see a hotel and stadium with the word "Floriday". I suddenly remember that I was dreaming and do the eye movements practice. The dream quickly falls apart and I try to stabilize. I am fooled by a FA that turns sexual.

I was on a bus ride with several other young men. I felt like I was in high school and recalled my mom said something about letting her know when I'll be back so she can pick me up. We ride through a down town area that I thought might be Madison, Wisconsin, but I become confused when I see a hotel with the word "Floriday" on it. Later we pass a stadium that reads: "Floriday Panthers" in purple and yellow. I wonder if I am in Floria and I try to take a quick picture of the stadium sign, but we are moving too fast. We then pass a city bus stopped on the road and the enter a more wooded area. I suddenly become lucid like I had briefly forgot that I was dreaming and came back. Oh yeah I was dreaming! I am not sure if I had been lucid, lost it, then recovered it, but it sure feels like it. The outside of the bus begins to darken and I quickly search my mind for goals. I recall the first thing was to practice eye movements for a later experiment. As I do it, I realize that I went right-left vs. left-right, but figure it doesn't matter. As I look both ways twice the dream severely distorts and I find myself in a bardo. I try not to wake up and begin clapping and rubbing my hands. After a while I am fooled by a false awakening.

I am next to some alternate version of my wife clapping my hands. I have woke her up and she asks what I am doing. I tell her that I did it (the lucid task). She begins to talk a lot and I tell her to let me try to reenter the dream. She gets quiet, but cuddles to me and I realize she is naked waste down. I'm really focused on DEILD, but she quickly convinces me to have sex. I wake up just as we get started.

#438 - DILD - 2:17AM

Total day residue...

I am in some sort of sport medicine clinic like an expo or something. Some really old woman is trying to check out my legs. I have some sort of bandage wrap and there is pressure put on my some machine. The woman keeps hacking and coughing and seems to feel really ill. Another, younger woman comes to take over. I am put in different positions on a table. I feel super sleepy. Several nurses flirt with me and I feel awesome about that. One nurse says that my spine is fractured and I need a prescription for it. She tells me that her husband takes a lot of vitamin A and that helps his back. I overhear another nurse going on about how cute I am. I feel embarrassed, but flattered. I leave.

I am somehow mildly lucid now. I have left the expo, but I'm still in the same building. A Star Wars scenario is playing out and I get swept up in the storyline. I am running with Han Solo and the Imperial forces are attacking. The building rumbles and quakes from that attack. The walls crack and parts of ceiling falls. I am at a stair well and I can't decide if I want to go up or down. I tell Han Solo that up is for high command. Down would take us out. Han runs up and I stay not sure what to do. I see a door that says Summit Meeting. I decide to run down.

In a new hallway, a lady that I know from waking life is standing there telling everyone to get out. She's pointing down the hall. She doesn't seem too worried with that huge grin on her face. I run down the hallway and enter a large section of the building. It seems like a movie studio. There is stripes on walls and large numbers by doors. I see a large 8. A fat man in a rebel uniform runs past with a droid and a civilian.



He says how this solar system sucks [Earth's solar system]. I say, "Yeah it sucks, but not Earth. I love Earth. It's my home." I see a cheap revolver on the floor and pick it up.

I continue running down another hallway. I have someone running with me that I don't really look at much. We make it outside into the night and my lucidity level jumps considerably. I see a Stormtrooper in the ground flipping around and spazzing out like some horrible video game glitch. I hear someone say to shoot him as a mercy. I fire a shot to his head and run away. I consider how my gun seems to be silenced. There are other Stormtroopers shooting at us. The guy with me picks up a Star Trek phaser off the ground and starts shooting stormtroopers.



I see red laser bolts taking down Stormtroopers. I say, "Pretty." I shoot at some more stormtroopers. My gun just click like dry fire, but I see them fall so I don't care. Since this is a dream, it's like I'm just pretending away. However, I can't get over the fact my gun feels like a plastic toy.



Rebels and Stormtroopers are dying all around me as I run. I am in a residential area with house and a gas station. Everything is less Star Wars like now. There is sort of military style off-road vehicle in a driveway.



I hop in and punch it in reverse. I notice the ceiling is way too low but I try to ignore it. My friend is not with me anymore and for some reason I feel the need to find him so we can both escape. I drive around a bit, but the ceiling is bothering me too much. I realize I can easily fix that, so I push up on it until it stretches out to a comfortable height. I spot my buddy on a storage container with Doc from Back To The Future. I tell them to get in but my friend is now a picture in a frame. I stretch my arm out super long, grab the picture, and put it in the seat next to me. Doc says something about how I have to leave him. I back out, push a button, and pretend I'm in a helicopter. The vehicle hovers some, but I can't get much height. I start looking in the distance, but there is only dark void beyond the few houses around me. I sit idle unsure what to do next. I think it would be cool if Doc got killed somehow. As soon as I think that, I hear a missile swoosh past me and Doc goes up in a fireball. Nice! I wonder if I should try flying into the void or if I should just wake up so I can write all this down. I sit idle for a few moments longer and decide to just open my eyes.

Non Lucid
Earlier in the night I dreamed I was lying in bed next to my wife outside in the woods. I see some sort of have chicken half dinosaur eating deer. I hear a generic slurping sound from the dino. I get out my phone and take video. As I watch I worry that the dino will see us. I stay as still as possible, but it notices and leaps toward us. I shout at my wife to run, but she wont wake up. I feel panicked. I look up and see the dinosaurs giant gray chicken foot come down on me. Then nothing but gray void.

I am now... under the bed? Underground? My wife now looks different. She's ready to go kill the dino. She puts up her hair super fast and I hear some cheesy winding sound. I laugh. Her hair detached and she puts it on over her other hair like a large hat. She kisses me and her nose feels extra long. I hold her and we make out a bit. She says shes ready to go, but I stop her and say we have to do something first. I pull her yoga pants down and have sex with her. Things get intense and I wake up.

#435 - WILD - 4:15AM

I did a WBTB coffee (2tbsp coffee grounds + 1tbsp sugar) at 4AM. Chug and and crash focusing on WILD.

I quickly recognize the usual sensations but it hard to get out. I realize I need some stimuli and the first thing I think of is sex. During the enjoyment, I notice a very young girls is sleeping next to me in the same bed while some woman is riding me. I begin to feel awkward and want to get away. I notice that I am deep enough in the dream now, so I push the woman off and mutter, "That's enough."

I easily stand up and wonder into the bathroom. I have an embarrassing situation that I try to ignore so I look into the mirror to distract me. My face distorts and I now have large aliens eyes. Instead of the deep black associated with gray's, I have white glowing light like my eye are made of some sort of reflective material. I marvel at the glowing light from within for a second and then decide to try playing with the mirror a bit. It looks really dirty witch is distracting but it seems like there is a different room past my reflection. I press my face into the glass and it stretches like soft rubber. I pull back and try to focus on something in the background, hoping to fall in, but I suddenly wake up.

#436 - DEILD -5:08AM

Having realize that only 15 minutes passed since I drank coffee, I decide it can't have kicked in much though I feel mildly stimulated. I relax focusing on my face as I body awareness meditation and quickly pass out.

There is something about my brother visiting my house. Me setting at table telling myself that I am dreaming, but not caring much. Maybe I thought I had it under control, but lucidity slips away. After talking with my brother, I decide it's time to lay down for WILD.

I am in a room eating white grapes with a small boy. Then try to eat something like a grape, but rock hard. The dream fades to darkness, but I hear a voice telling me to hold me focus and wait (meaning DEILD).

I have WILD sensations, but I am able to blindly get up. I jump around to stimulate my dream body. It feels super odd. I begin to float so I open my eyes. I am now standing in the room again. There is trash everywhere and the little boy is just looking at me. He gives me a grape and I taste it. Bland. I recall the smell TOTM and quickly search the floor. I spot a banana peel, pick it up, and give it a good sniff. Nothing. I try again breathing deeper, but now I am too aware of my physical body. I remember breath is the only connection to waking world. I stop and try an orange peel that's near the spot where I found the banana. It has a mild, undefinable scent. I now recall my monster TOTM and tap the boy's elbow. "Common!", I say as I start to look for a bed. I wake up.

#419 - DEILD - 5:25AM

WBTB @ 4AM 2TBS Coffee grounds, 3 TBSP Sugar, 1/4 cup milk

I feel pretty wide awake after drinking the coffee as if the caffeine takes effect right away. I have a hard time sleeping and the goddamned cats keep making noise in the other room. I spend the next hour or so in fitful dreamless sleep until toward the end. I have an upsetting dream where I am overly upset that my wife is keeping me awake and didn't set the alarm.

I wake up and notice that I am in vibrations already. I go ahead and do some phase cycles and when I get to the rolling one, I fall out of bed. I still feel some attachment to my waking body as is some kind of super stretchy tar is clinging to me. I hit the floor and let out a yell of delight. I don't recall the exact order of events during this initial phase, but I basically spend a lot of time enjoying the feeling of being a disembodied spirit floating around the bedroom doing various, random things. Everything is way too dark, but at one point I float to my closet, open the door and scream into hoping for something scary to be in there. Nothings shows up so I close the door and float back up. During most of this I am overly aware of the feeling of the silver cord holding me close to my physical body though I don't bother to visually confirm this — I really don't want to give it too much attention. I eventually make it out the front door in a blind rush, but feel a pull back to my body by means of the cord.

I do another quick DEILD and this time I am able to get up fairly easily. I think of the mirror TOTM and head to the bathroom. The dream starts to clarify and lighten up as I turn to look at my reflection. I look mostly like myself but I have my son's eyes and my hair is much longer. I spend a moment taking a long close look while chuckling to myself then dive right on in the mirror. There is some resistance, but I get in fairly easy. To my disappointment, I have entered the void. It's not that the dream has gone dark because I can hold my hands up and can see them just fine. I rush forward and grope around for something 'physical' in the void. My hands come across a strong feminine jawline. I feel the lips and kiss them as my hand works down to other parts. After a second I can clearly see this woman and she looks strangely familiar yet not familiar. I later realize she is a compilation of all my past lovers. I continue to make out with her/them, but I feel no real sexual stimulation and it all seems so wrong. However, I continue just for the purpose of stabilization. It's not long until something external wakes me up.

#414 - 8:44AM - DILD

WBTB 3:30AM 8mg Galantamine/400mg choline, 400mg DMAE
This one didn't go so well, but I was lucky enough to pull off one LD late in the morning purely out of desperation.

I am trying to enter my email login on my phone to see an important email from my mortgage broker. Nothing I type comes out right so I look for my laptop. I have an false awaking and become slightly lucid. I think how typical the previous dream was for electronics failure.
Next I notice SW from work in bed with us. I know it's not real, but I am snuggled against him and I find it mildly humorous. I push him away and initiate sex with my wife by actively summoning and creating the sensation. Several odd thoughts race through my mind as we do it for a few moments.
I am now in a classroom in a chair with a trash can between my feet.

Spoiler for EXPLICIT:

Spoiler for NO REALLY I MEAN IT:

Spoiler for I WARNED YOU:

I notice that have my pants down and I am scooted up on the edge of the seat and sort of hunched forward like I am on the toilet. I realize that I am making slight humping motions so I look down. I see my erect penis with a long string of cum slowly dripping off the tip.

Shocked at my nakedness and sexual nature, I wonder how my dream would cause me to literally end up like this. I look up and see an and old woman that is an ex-coworker (dead) looking at me sort of curious as well as shocked. I quickly pull my shirt down to cover myself. I feel disoriented and confused. I wonder how I could have had such an obvious sex dream in public. I realize that I am in a room pf coworkers both past and present and if feel embarrassed and devastated that this is happening. I'll never live it down. My life is ruined. I pull my shorts up not really getting my underwear and they king bunch down low, but I don't care as long as I am covered. I feel so sleepy and I rub my face and sigh heavy trying to get my bearings. I still can't believe this has happened. I don't even know how I fell asleep. I try to ignore everyone around me as I deal with this trauma; I just want a way out. I begin to hope that by some miracle of divine magic that I am in a dream. Maybe... I do a nose plug out of desperation and am completely delighted and surprised to blow through. I giggle and the feeling of hopeless despair rolls off me dropping like a lead weight. Forgetting about any nakedness, I stand up and walk over to a group of people talking. I think how I am highly lucid as I playfully push V (fired IWL) over and say I relief, "This is all a dream." V falls out of sight and I smile at everyone feeling triumphant and gleeful. Before I can do much else, the dream quickly collapses and I wake up.

I had another LD much earlier in the night but I cant recall much so I'm counting. Basically, I was running from some enemy when I became lucid and played with a gun. I wanted a shoot out so I blind summoned a rifle. I goes off against a glass but only scorching it. In some burned out building someones head peaked up outside a window. I fire off a shot, but the dream fades out.

#412 - DILD - 6:35AM

I am walking up a hill with my younger daughter and son. For some reason I am going to some apartments to take a swim. I tell myself that if I am going to live here, I need to figure out how to park on the other side so I don't have to walk so far all the time. Some triggers semi-lucidity and the walk up the hill feels hard and slow. I realize that this is all a mental thing and tell myself to just pretend that it's all super easy and it will be. It works for a second and gets difficult again at the last few steps.

I am inside the apartment but it all looks really odd. I feel this is normal for a dream so I let it go and try to ignore it. I have my son in my arms and for some reason think I need to put him down for a nap. There is a door way that I think leads to his bedroom, but when I open it, it is just a broom closet. I know this is all pointless so I unceremoniously toss my son into the darkest part of the closet and walk way. I feel a mental tug to do it right, but I don't want to get caught up in mundane tasks in a dream. I am still really caught up in going swimming so I try to find the back door. As I make my way outside, I pass though some tiny kitchen that I recognize to look like a small version of the duplex I used to live in.

Outside, my lucidity raises as I look around for a pool. I see an above ground pool to the right, but quickly reject that. I look to the left and see my younger daughter jumping into a large in-ground pool. Excited, I run and jump and yell, "JEEEERRRONIMOOOOO!", as I belly flop into the pool. As I make impact I worry that my vision will get distorted and I end up in the void. Of course, this thought manifests as I see a blur of blue and air bubbles and the dream fades.

The lights come on and I wake up with my son in the bed with me and my wife. He's crying and some liquid has pooled up all over the sheets. Not sure if he peed out of his diaper, I ask, "Why is everything so wet?"
My wife just says, "He's been crying." I realize that there is no way a kid can tear up that much and remember that I was just now dreaming that I was swimming. The lights do out and I roll over and make swimming motions in the dark until I reach my wife. I start kissing her and decide maybe some sexy-time would be nice. The light returns and my wife stops me. She asks, "Right now? [in front of R?]
I tell her that it doesn't matter [in a dream]. We continue to enjoy each other, but I wake up before we get very far.

#397 - DEILD - 7:08AM

My WBTB was around 2:30AM and I kept it super brief. I was up only long enough to take some galantamine and wash it down with cold peppermint tea. This G night was a little disappointing since I didn't start becoming aware until much later in the morning. I suppose it was because I have been having back issues and I over did it with muscle relaxers pre-bed making me extra tired. Sometimes its hard to find that balance between dream and wakefulness that's required for LD and a lot of thinks factor into it.

I partially wake from a dream and enter DEILD. I have vibrations and slowly float out of body. I see something odd made of red laser light but I ignore it since I feel really unstable. I exit the room and find myself in what looks like D's house (my mom's friend). I haven't been here since I was little and I am surprised it's showed up in this dream. I just want to get outside so I exit the front door. There is a lot of stuff out there and I spot a cat curled up sleeping in a cushioned chair. I reach down and pet the cat on the head. The cat responds with a low purring meow sound and I walk away. I step into the yard only to find the edge of dream world disappearing into the void. I don't want to deal with that so I try entering another part of the house. I open a door but there is void in there too. Instead of stepping in, I reach an arm in and feel around for a light switch. The dream seams to be breaking up so I look back at the well lit porch for stability. After flipping the switch, I look back to see nothing has happened. I enter the room anyway and find myself lost in the void. I try going back but the door I came in is no longer there. I need stimuli and go with the first thing I think of. Sex. I blind summon a naked female body and couple with her. Her face look sort of familiar but no one I really recognized. We make out and things start to become more sexual but I stop as I begin to feel a bit of guilt. The dream crashes here and I wake up.

#398 - DILD - 8:53AM

I am at the park up the road from my house looking at my old Ford Ranger that I used to own in waking life. There is a wheel missing and the other tires are flat. For some reason I have a push lawn mower and my mountain bike. I really want to ride the bike but I don't want to leave the mower here. I try putting the mower in the truck cab but it wont fit. I realize I drove my SUV and fit the mower in the back of that. I spot some tough looking men with colorful glasses strutting by. I worry that they are up to no good but they don't bother me or my stuff. I feel the need for some shades and spot some white ones in the front seat and put them on. I realize that I don't usually wear white but I figure I may as well try something different. There was a lot of time spent here messing around with things but I finally feel content and decide to hop on my bike.

As I ride my bike toward the street I notice something feels odd. I look down and see the tires are flat on the bicycle. I decide to keep pedaling as I head in the direction of the gas station to get air. I tell myself that if I pretend the tires are normal then they will be. This thought reminds me of dream control and brings me to full lucidity.I am nearly into the street now and I decide that I will be able to ride super fast with the cars. Unfortunately, it's kind of slow and difficult like riding up hill. Although I can't pull of the speed thing, I know I can't be hurt so, I decide to mess with the oncoming traffic. I spy and orange car and pedal hard toward it expecting some sort of impact. Just before the collusion, my front tire jams up sending me over the handle bars and the car vanishes just before it hits me. This is disorienting but thrilling at the same time. I get back on my bike to experiment with this again but before I get going, someone makes a noise in the other room and wakes me up.

I have two other instances during the morning trying to DEILD. I recall hitting vibrations and trying to move my dream body but not getting very far. I recall very little else and assume I must have lost concentration.

#395 - SSILD - 5:00AM

I somehow become lucid and have some impossible sex with my wife. At one point I am filled with something like guilt; I wasn't going to use a LD for sex. However, it is my wife and I am really enjoying it so, what the hell?

Spoiler for sex details:

I was going to leave out the details but it's odd enough to mention. First I started with making her give me a blow job. By the end of it, I was giving her oral while simultaneously having traditional sex in the missionary position. I thought how odd this was but remembered that anything can happen in a dream. I pay close attention to the feeling of her vagina on my mouth and enjoy every sensation to the fullest.

I must have enjoyed myself a little too much because, I eventually lose lucidity and find myself in something like and FA. We are in my old bedroom at my parents old place and D.N. from work has set up his office in a small section of the room. He has interrupted my love making with my wife and I scramble to find my clothes. I am pissed and embarrassed at his intrusion and have a lot to say about it. My mom shows up and I loudly tell her how the "asshole" woke me up and hour early. I go downstairs to have breakfast but my dad is being obnoxious and I leave the house.

*Memory gap*

Something about being a truck driver. I need to unload my trailer but another trucker gets in first. My memory is bad here, but this is what I think must have happened: As I wait, I become introspective and aware. I end up having what feels like a tremendously long lucid adventure in a GTA 5 world though, I remember almost nothing. Something about being invincible and all around bad-ass while I fight some gang members.

I have a pause in the action at some point. I feel energized and emotional about the epic adventure I just had. My lucidity reaches a high level now and I recall that I had a goal in mind. I wanted to meditate while in the dream state. I close my eyes and clear my mind. Suddenly I am weightless and my dream body dissolves. I become a ball and begin to spin as I bounce around in a tight cube. I say, "Ah this is just like SP sensations. It's really not that cool." I decide to see how long I can maintain meditation and go back at it. Of course, my concentration doesn't last long and I quickly have another FA. I should have anchored myself with a mantra or a sensation.

I am in some bedroom. There is a Buddhist monk sleeping in a twin bed along the wall. I am now holding a dough-ball about the size of a baseball. I tap the monk's arm wanting to tell him about my amazing lucid dream. I am still really excited about whatever the hell I did in GTA Land and, In amazement I say, "Holy hell!" The monk only stirs a bit and rolls over. I decide that it's going to take more effort to wake the monk so I feel I need to put the dough-ball down. However, I need to preserve it and not let it stick to wherever I put it. I look for some flour but only find baby powder. Close enough. I powder the dough up and set it on dresser. I realize that I am not quite sure what my dream was about. I spend some time thinking it over as I wake up.

#378 - DEILD - 4:54AM (1 of 2)

I am at work and I use my laptop on the production floor. It keep playing video loudly and I have to click them away. Break time comes and I kick back in the break room to try to WILD. I feel floaty and strange like usual this brings my awareness back and I wake slightly.

I realize that I failed my WILD so I go into DEILD mode. I have general SP issues and trouble getting out of it. Eventually I roll over and have some kinky sexy time with the wife just get the dream going. It wasn't really a sex dream but it was fun. After a minute or two of that I get up and turn to the door. My wife says, "Ok. You go have your lucid dream now." I smile not looking back and walk out of the bedroom.

As I try to make it to the front door the room stretches making it farther away. I feel immobile and have some trouble seeing. My physical eyes open but I close them right away and DEILD.

I imagine being at the front door feeling the floor with my hands. I am surprised that I can feel something right away. I expect to feel the hardwood but it feels something like groutless tile; the kind at the grocery store that gets waxed. I notice some gritty feel like dirt.

My vision returns and I see the door mat that we keep inside. I smile and stand up quickly reaching for the door knob. The basic TOTM is on my mind and when I step outside I look for a pile of leaves. There are two bushes on each side of the porch steps in waking life but here in the dream one of them is the pile of leaves I am looking for. I walk to the edge of the concrete and turn around. I put my hands out and fall back into the leaves. I hear a loud, dry leaf sound... CHISSHSH. As the leaves disperse, I feel and see a dry dead bush appear. I land softly and slide on my back several feet as I hear something like the sound of a buzzing bee hive.. BUZZZZZZZZ. I recognize this sound from one of my son's toys as I wake up.

#370 - DILD - 5:53AM

I am in some church that looks a lot like the last one my father preached at in Texas. I am standing in the back leaning on the back rest of a pew while someone drones on up front. I come to awareness as I am staring off into space being introspective. I decide this is probably a dream and wonder into a back room.

I remember the costume task for the task of the month and look for my manatee outfit. There is a white toy chest behind a stack of chairs. There seems to be a bunch of stuffed animals and puppets in there. This is perfect for what I need. I reach in and pull out a grey hoodie with a plush manatee head for the hood. I decided before hand that I didn't want a complicated costume but this unexpected item is genius. I find a full length door mirror so that I would have a visual ground as I slip the costume over my head. My reflection doesn't cooperate and is making funny faces at me. It's not even doing the same movements I am. I decide this DC is annoying and move to another mirror. My reflection is still making faces but at least it's cooperating. I carefully slip the hoodie on while I keep a visual on the mirror. Once I have it one with the hood up, I turn around and imagine being in the water.

The hallway behind me quickly fills with water to the roof and I start swimming. Air bubbles swirl around me as I level out and make swimming motions. The dream fades here a bit but I focus on memories of snorkeling and quickly find myself in something similar to King's Bay. I even act the part and pretend that I have fins for elbows as I 'walk' the bottom among the vegetation. after a few seconds, my vision fades to black again but I decide that I have done the task so I let myself wake up.

I go ahead and nose plug but blow through. I set up and find myself outside next to my wife. I have the Manatee hoodie in my hands. I say to my wife, "Look, it's a Manatee hoodie! I just made it up on the fly but you would really love to have this. I wonder if it exists." My wife doesn't say anything but just smiles. I decide that I should do a web search when I wake up. This thought sends me into another FA.

I nose plug and am upset that I can't wake up. I am really worried that I will forget doing the task. I try really hard to wake up but just have some SP feelings instead. I quickly recall the costume dream and feel I have a good memory of it so I go ahead and allow myself to have some more lucid dream time. I sit up and feel slightly bored not knowing what to do next. I see my wife lying next to me and get some ideas. I'll skip the details, but I enjoy some rough anal sex with her stopping just before I reach completion not wanting to have a wet dream.

I have another FA and I nose plug. What the hell? I see my wife fully clothed looking into the mirror on the closet door. I am not at satisfied from before so I enjoy some oral sex. I feel that I am being ridiculously rough with her but decide that it's ok in a dream. I have an intensely satisfying release at the end and feel that I have now had a wet dream. Annoyed, I decide should wake up and change.

I have another FA and nose plug. I shout out, "Goddammit mother fucker!" my voice is vivid and loud. I spend a few seconds trying really hard to wake up, but I just can't. I decide to let go the worry of forgetting the dream and needing to change and decide to be thankful for such a strong LD. I open my dream eyes to look around and instead of a ceiling, I see a vivid, clear deep space view of a bright blue planet nestled next to a golden nebula. I am in awe of this sight and spend a few seconds taking it all in. I want to fly to the planet and explore so I reach my arms up to it as I lay in bed. I try to fly up to it but can't seem to move or float up. I don't want to try to stand up or do much of anything because I don't want to ruin such a beautiful sight. Fixated on the view, I relax hoping to float up but I have another FA.

This time I can hear the box fan humming and I try to move to get up. The effort jerks my physical body and I wake up for real.

10:25AM - Non Lucid - CanisLucidus At The Event

My wife and I are with CanisLucidus and his wife in a limo. CL is talking to his wife about getting tickets to some Glenn Beck event. His wife told him not to worry about it because she order early and got an awesome deal on some first class seating and there were going to meet Glenn Beck. I am a little disappointed that we didn't think of this. We had to order cheap tickets last minute.

We separate and I am with my wife in a crowded street like it's New Year's Eve in Times Square. There seems to be a million people here. I am talking to my wife about random stuff and I tell here that all it will take is just one person to turn into a zombie and then everyone will quickly be infected and wiped out. I somehow know this is really about to happen so I keep a watchful eye on the people around me. My wife seems to think I am nuts but I am ready to fight the zombie hoard.

Now I am watching CL with his wife like it's a movie. CL is narrating and I feel like I am reading one of his DJ entries. I see everything as from CL's point of view. He is next to his wife. She is in a fancy evening gown and CL is wearing a gray suit. They are high up in some balcony like in an Opera House. There is some conversation. I say to myself that I like how this is playing out like a movie with a plot. It's also skipping back and forth between characters like a movie. Seeing from CL's eyes, I look down at the jewel encrusted wine glass in his hand as he takes a sip. It looks like a moscato or some other white wine. There is some fine cursive lettering etched on the base of the glass. Now I am not looking from CL's eyes, but like I am there. I take the glass from CL and look closer. It is part of CL's DJ entry. It's hard to read and I don't remember it all but it says something about how he likes how he knows were are the DC's are in this part of the dream. This is just before 'it' all happens. He uses actual names rather than DV nicknames, but he tells where He and his wife are, where my wife and I are, as well as Dreamer and OpheliaBlue. There is something about how he's disappointed that I had to join the crowd down below but I had volunteered to help out with the event. I thought this was totally wrong and I begin to wonder what's going on. I try to read more of the small print to get some understanding but can't seem to see what the words are anymore. I am suddenly woken up by my wife getting out of bed.

PreBed: Valerian Root

Bedtime: 9:30PM

Try nREM WILD. Close. But I lose it.

2:30 WBTB - I vaguely recall a dream about a guy at a car lot talking my wife out or working there. Shootings and stabbings. The location was dream familar. I see it from an birds eye view.

I try to induce WILD with Binaural Beats from my recliner. I found the sound kept me awake and one of the cats kept making noise. As soon as the audio stopped I feel into non lucid sleep.

The dream is like a TV drama about a boy finding his mom abusing pills. The dad has a break down in front of people at a party. There is an after scene and the mom says shes taking her life in a new direction. Someone tells the son to take his money and fix the window and then use the rest for gas. He continues to tell him the doesn't was this hanging over his head the rest of his life. "Zule" will be with you. (Zule? WTF?)

3:57AM

I move to my bed.

I have another crazy dream about some crazy woman in a tree. She almost looks like Ernest P. Worrell in drag. She is quoting from the bible. Her plan is to crash through a window of a church and exercise a demon. As she is reading the Bible she acts seductive and rubs her legs. It was all very comical. She then leaps onto a zip line and almost crashes through the window but she was too heavy and hit low. She gets up off the ground hurt and says something so funny that I wake up laughing. But I couldn't remember what it was she said.

4:56AM

MILD mantra. Back to sleep.

#122 Startled on the Road

I am having a sex dream with my wife when I hear some one yell, "OK TIME TO EAAAAT!"

I have a type of FA here. My wife runs into the other room and says, "How do they expect us to come like this?"

I reply, "How do you think I feel?"

Then realize the bedroom door is open and we are visiting. I see her Aunt D come to the door way and pause. I stretch and yaw like I had just woke up. She walks in and adjusts a strange looking box fan. She asks, "How did you sleep?"

I say, "I slept fine."

Suddenly I am driving in my car. I can hear a intermittent wind coming from the left window (I think it was actually either my breathing or my wife snoring LOL) I look at the window but it is up. Then, I wonder what just happened. I look to the right and see my wife is not with me. I yell out for my son, "R, are you back there?" Then I realize he wouldn't answer. I ask for my wife, "A, are you back there?" No reply. I feel odd about this so I do a habitual nose plug.

I blow right through! (The sensation is always so odd) *GASP* "I am dreaming!" It was such a shock for some reason. I either am too excited or I think about my physical body, because I have a FA but I can feel light vibrations. I wait a moment to be sure of things and then I get up. The feeling of it feel about right for a dream. This time the sheet stick to me. I can see fine in the dim light and note the bedroom door. I try to unwind myself but the sheet keeps coming like a roll of toilet paper. I drop it and ignore it. I start thinking about TOTY and how I was going to teleport. I feel confused about it.

Then I wake briefly. I start to DEILD and begin to feel the vibrations again. This time I let my mind become distracted by trying to remember how this all started. The vibrations left and I was fully awake now. I tried to get it back but I couldn't

Wake at 5:23AM


Position: On my back and slightly turned to the right side
Lucid Duration: about a minute. Too effen brief.
Tech: MILD mantra "I am dreaming" after several non lucid awakenings.
Aids: None
Things to improve: Staying focused on the dream and on the now. Excitement issues returning.

Pre-bed mild alcohol consumption
WBTB - 3:30AM
Ultra low dose of caffeine <=25MG, 200MG B6
Changed location to recliner to WILD. Failed.

Was on the verge of a DILD. I was becoming analytical when I was awakened by a crying baby at almost 4:40AM. Yep right at peek time. I think the dose was low enough to stay asleep that time too. I was very groggy.

Back to bed at 5:45AM.
Wife's alarm goes off at 6:00. I lye perfectly still and wait for DEILD. Nothing happened right away so I started to recall the dream. I slip back into sleep. Curious thing here. Perhaps I am not giving enough time to DEILD. If it doesn't happen right away I give up. Next time, I will wait at least a few minutes if I can. The problem is that I am certain to lose the dream recall if I attempt DEILD and there is no guarantee that I will hit DEILD. I have fallen back into non-lucid dream with zero recall while failing DEILD. I suppose its worth trying a few night a week even if it kills recall. 1 lucid is worth 100 non lucids.

So, I fall back to sleep non-lucid but I end up having a very brief DILD. The fact that it was so short is due to the fact that I temporarily chose to give up lucidity as a way to keep the current dream going. I was actually trying to postpone my awareness for just a bit but I lost concentration for obvious reasons.

Wife's Doppelgänger

Since the alarm went off I was thinking my wife turned it off and got into the shower. I can hear the shower water running. But when I roll over I see my wife lying next to me. For whatever reason we begin to have sex.

In the throws of passion I wonder about the woman in the shower. How can my wife be there and here. Something about her feels off. Not physically but more like an extra sense of discerning. I almost felt like I was cheating on her with someone that looks like her while she was just in the next room. Then I think, "Of course, I am dreaming!"

At that instant the dream goes black. I really didn't want what was happening to end so I acted on instinct instead of thinking straight. I let go of my awareness a bit. I said, "No no no no no.. OK not yet. I don't have to be lucid now. Afterwards I will be lucid."

The dream resumes and we pick up were we left off.
I briefly wonder what the interruption was but have no memory of being lucid. I dismiss it with other explanations.

Afterwards, This version of my wife disappears and I have a FA. I think I about the dream I just had and get out of bed. I hear my wife get out of the shower and lay back down pretending to be asleep. She asks me rather disgusted, "What were you doing?"
"Nothing. Why?"
She walks around the bed and picks up a towel. "What were you doing with my towel? Look at it. It's a mess"
Embarrassed, I think I must have humped the towel in my sleep.

I jump and sit straight up when my wifes snooze alarm goes off. I am shocked to see her next to me in bed still.

So I took a WILD nap today.

I find myself bouncing from too much awareness to losing consciousness. I would start to get slight vibrations and tremors. A few times I felt my head pick up and slam down. My body switched a few times. All this jolted me back to too much wakefulness. So I kinda let go and almost give up on it. That must have been enough. Because suddenly I find myself with the beginnings of SP. So I tried focusing on my head but what I ended up doing is rolling my eyes back. It worked like a magic button. Immediately got full SP. Not so much in my legs though. Mostly my head and arms. But still this was it!

The vibrations subsided and I heard a loud high pitch shrieking tearing sound as I felt the top half or my body slip out of itself. I try to get out of bed but I legs wont work. I lean over the side of the bed but my legs are glued into place and my body is on the floor. I try to move my legs but they are paralyzed. I look around but I see with one eye the mirror on the wall and with the other eye the carpet on the floor. My dream hand feel the floor. I think "I am lucid but I'm just halfway in my body!"

I jolt back awake. I don't move. I just roll my eye back and boom! SP again. Then I feel myself sit up out of my body with the same indescribable sounds. And my legs and feet are still stuck.
I wake up.

I repeat the whole thing several times not giving up and a little surprised I can keep it going.

I heard the shrieking tearing sound again. And then something else like many people running or a subway car on the tracks. So this time I visualized a subway station. I looked at my feet and just like in the Matrix and saw it all rush to me and my feet touched the subway floor.

Now to be honest. There is a lot here that I forgot. The feeling and flashes that I remember is just me running around like a lunatic being overly happy that I am finaly lucid again. I feel like a god in my personal universe. I feel so powerful. (I'll have to learn some control)

(Also this lucid dream was very non-vivid. Almost as if you were just sitting and fantasizing about whatever. That's how dull the visuals were. And probably why I forgot parts. I did at least have some very real physical sensations.)

Then of course, I get horny. I walk into the womens locker room. Shower. I hear a woman scream. But the shower is empty. I keep looking and hear little girly shrieks. I run to another room and see a bath tub shower curtain. I move the shower curtain and it sounds like little girls but they run like a vampires. Like flesh colored streaks. They are just so ethereal and ghostly. I look for them and cant find them. One went behind me and one strait through the wall in the shower. I turn around and see a sink and mirror and door in the direction the one went but the door is boarded over and shut.

Wait! What the hell? These are little girls anyway and thats gross. I'm lucid and I'm waisting it on being horny!?

I look around again. OMG MIRROR TOTM! I walk to the mirror and look closely at myself. I am whereing a plain grey hoodie. My face and hair look pretty much normal. For some reason I am making really crazy looking faces at myself but I don't feel it on my face. I look closer and I look normal but not normal. Kinda blurry.

OK enough. Go into the mirror. CAN'T. SOLID! I move back the mirror got smaller. Like the size of my laptop screen. I look and find another mirror on the wall. I place my head into. SOLID. I press really hard. I feel something give and I look around but it is just black darkness and then I am pushed back out. I try again but it solid once more. I notice that I can feel no sensation on my head so I really am dreaming. I wont why I can do in. I move back. No I am holding the mirror and there is a giant wall mirror behind a metal rack thing. I look at myself again. Trying to clear things up and really see. I look the same with a goofy expression. I press my head in again. SOLID.

I begin I wake. I feel myself in bed. I thought I felt my wife moving around and thats why I woke up. I assumed she came home from work and found me napping so she joined me. I later realized my logic was totally wrong and I was still asleep.

I went for the SP again. I rolled my eyes back in my head and concentrated on my skull. Yep get the tingles but as strong. Then I thought about what I was going to do which got me thinking about the whole experience and how I was starting to forget is all.

I wake up for real this time. Alone and it had only been 2hrs.