Xanous' Dream Journal

#516 - OBE - 3:00AM

I find myself just chilling in a quasi-SP space in deep thought. Suddenly it occurs to me to try to have an OBE. I feel vibrations as I deepen my relaxation and focus my awareness. In a few seconds I transition and swim away into the void. I need some visualization so I imagine swimming in water. I am in a deep pool with distorted sunlight filtering. A deep feeling of joy and peace washes over me. I stay here for as long as I can. I wake up remembering that we are more than our physical bodies.

#419 - DEILD - 5:25AM

WBTB @ 4AM 2TBS Coffee grounds, 3 TBSP Sugar, 1/4 cup milk

I feel pretty wide awake after drinking the coffee as if the caffeine takes effect right away. I have a hard time sleeping and the goddamned cats keep making noise in the other room. I spend the next hour or so in fitful dreamless sleep until toward the end. I have an upsetting dream where I am overly upset that my wife is keeping me awake and didn't set the alarm.

I wake up and notice that I am in vibrations already. I go ahead and do some phase cycles and when I get to the rolling one, I fall out of bed. I still feel some attachment to my waking body as is some kind of super stretchy tar is clinging to me. I hit the floor and let out a yell of delight. I don't recall the exact order of events during this initial phase, but I basically spend a lot of time enjoying the feeling of being a disembodied spirit floating around the bedroom doing various, random things. Everything is way too dark, but at one point I float to my closet, open the door and scream into hoping for something scary to be in there. Nothings shows up so I close the door and float back up. During most of this I am overly aware of the feeling of the silver cord holding me close to my physical body though I don't bother to visually confirm this — I really don't want to give it too much attention. I eventually make it out the front door in a blind rush, but feel a pull back to my body by means of the cord.

I do another quick DEILD and this time I am able to get up fairly easily. I think of the mirror TOTM and head to the bathroom. The dream starts to clarify and lighten up as I turn to look at my reflection. I look mostly like myself but I have my son's eyes and my hair is much longer. I spend a moment taking a long close look while chuckling to myself then dive right on in the mirror. There is some resistance, but I get in fairly easy. To my disappointment, I have entered the void. It's not that the dream has gone dark because I can hold my hands up and can see them just fine. I rush forward and grope around for something 'physical' in the void. My hands come across a strong feminine jawline. I feel the lips and kiss them as my hand works down to other parts. After a second I can clearly see this woman and she looks strangely familiar yet not familiar. I later realize she is a compilation of all my past lovers. I continue to make out with her/them, but I feel no real sexual stimulation and it all seems so wrong. However, I continue just for the purpose of stabilization. It's not long until something external wakes me up.

#129 There Is No Wall WILD

I am deep into HI/HH. For some reason I remember how CanisLucidus likes to sleep on his stomach. "I hear him say have you ever tried it on your stomach?" My dream self rolls over halfway on my stomach. I can feel the blanket over my face and I begin to feel strange whirling spinning sensations. I was amazed how much better a WILD attempt this was. I focus on the sensations for a few seconds. (I didn't notice until later that I felt zero vibrations like I usually do. I am actually glad that this didn't throw me. Never give too much attention to the noise. Passively monitor it.)

Then I feel my wife in bed poking my ribs and telling me to wake up. I try to ignore her. But she keeps doing it. I say to her, "Stop it pleeeease! I am trying to have a lucid dream and you are waking me up."

I never open my eyes but I roll over to my back. She is still moving the bed around and saying to wake up. I realize this probably not really happening. I tell myself over and over that she is not real. I decide that I just need to get out of here. I can still feel a slight grip from the sleep paralysis making me move slow and awkward. But I manage to stand up without too much trouble.

It's dark in the room but I manage to see my hands clearly. I open the bedroom door and find myself in a long hallway. The dream is still blurry and insubstantial but I realize this is not my house. Something reminds me of my ex in-law's house. I begin to believe that's were I am. The dream comes together now and that exactly where I am. I make it to the living room and pause for a second. I think, "If this is their house then which wife is in the bed? Past or present?" I decide that I really don't want to know or want to be here so I continue out the front door.

It is really dark outside. I think the only way out of here is to just fly away. I see the sun coming up the west. I find that slightly funny as I start to fly up. Then, I get lost in the void and feel the dream breaking up. I decide to just go back to the ground and stay inside. For some reason the dream wants me here.

I go back inside and visually stabilize myself. I wonder around the living feeling slightly triumphant. I think, "Haha bitches I'm in your house and your not even here!" I explore the house some and realize there is very little clutter or furniture. Every thing looks spacious and organized. I see a small white wooden door with no knob in a random spot on the wall. I use expectation to make it open to some place else. Nope. It's a small closet with a water heater.

I walk around the wall into the kitchen and then back into the living room. I see a clear spot on the wall separating the living room and kitchen. I think maybe I can draw a doorway with my fingers to get out of here. I make a motion with both fingers at the top but realize my hands phased into it. HA phasing! I think about reaching past the wall into the space beyond. My hands pass through fine so I thrust myself into it. My arms get softly stuck at the elbows. I pull back and stare at the wall. I say, "There is no wall. There is no wall." I really focus on believing it. I think about the space beyond the wall again as I jump forward. I feel a slight sensation like a cool mist of water pass over me. I feel grounded on the other side but all I can see is the color of the wall. I think about the other side and what it should look like. The dream stabilizes.

I look around the kitchen/dining room and see the back door. I really want out of this house! I have TOTY on my mind and want to move on. I can see the door is open but the screen is closed. I can see outside and it is total darkness. I feel really confident from phasing and decide to take a risk. Without thinking things through I rush forward flying head first into the door and throwing it off its hinges into the darkness. I say,"This leads to another planet!" (why?)

I am now engulfed in the void. I feel spinning sensations. I relax myself like in any other DEILD and try to focus on seeing something. I think about the Colosseum a bit while I wait. After a while I wake up.