fogelbise

This seems to be a good example of what my lucidity looks like when my LD practices derail. After this sporadic and seemingly short LD (unless I forgot parts of it and dwindling recall is to blame), I had an 11 day dry spell which is unusual for me this far into my practice. Such dry spells only seem to pop up every so many months…maybe 4-6 months?

Thu, 12 Mar 2015:
Chance to get lucid as I slept in the before my dental appointment to 8:25am
1030pm? 1230=quick btw 4am wbtb(5.5h) At my #uncleT 's house I go into his room several times to use the #bathroom and the last two times I notice I can hear their phone calls via the speaker phone #answeringMachine in his in-room office suite through some double doors. Some thought about what area codes may be included in a metro calling plan but they all seem to be my local area IWL not his.
Had recall at 12:30 but didn't want to record and only spent very minor brain energy to try to mentally store before realizing I may wake too much. Can't remember at moment.
Something with a #black lady that doesn't trust the Chicago? #police. I forget to tell her the train option for getting between two cities and I see a #map with train system between those two cities in a big wide u shape. A scene then plays out that we seem to be watching at my uncles house TV in crowded family room couch where a black man is being tracked by the police and he grabs a #hostage at a busy train station or airport before a #crowd surrounds him and several have #guns. One guy carefully points his #gun at him at close range and #shoots him. Gasps all around.#hostage #vigilante


Holding #baby #singing hush little baby. also watching #kids they run outside to the neighbors to get into mischief and I go inside the house to let the mother know that they ran off
*Leaving #work with some #coworkers and we're talking about some #controversy about a cell #phone or two that was issued to some people for my work including D(the hilarious guy) "you know they may still be using it to do something with the phone calls" something about cutting into phone calls. we are going to my house for some reason and the guy that does <snip> is there and I'm guessing he's inspecting what I have set up here and we all go into the same house. "might be messy" and at some point I realize I'm dreaming perhaps through the "if I were dreaming I would" mental process and I pick up one of the female coworkers and float her to the top of the two story vaulted ceiling and back down to the floor. There are a lot of #kids here and a sexy lady and I <2nd base sexual interaction> at some point I lose lucidity probably doubting whether or not I should be so sexual and more kids are arriving and I think there's too many kids maybe someone can take them to the park while we're here but one of them ladies that brings the kids says she's been to the neighbors next door and they have a lot of board games so start to go with her to knock on the neighbors door but it seems like she turns too early into my #garage and wouldn't you know coming out of my garage is my #Mom saying that she has to go somewhere and I'm happy to see her she has short blonde hair and then I realize she's not supposed to be here oh yes I'm dreaming I forgot I give her a big hug to enjoy the moment since I don't see her very often then shortly after I wake up. No.295

11/23/14 Earlier dreams including playing some great music on a nice sound system and navigating a train platform with actual local trains being announced. After a late WBTB I have an FA in my actual sleeping location and soon find myself coming off of a train platform again and I realize I am dreaming. I think it may have been the odd transition from sleeping location FA to train platform after a brief moment of confusion. I am looking down a long street toward a largish group of people sitting on some benches along the road at the cross street of a T-intersection. I initially have some more adult ideas and I am flying that way not too high and not too fast and drop back down and walk up the people for the last 10-20 yards. I see it is mostly families and I drop the adult ideas. (What is up with this more tame me?) I walk up to one of the ladies and convince her to let me hold her 1 year old girl after some dialogue back and forth and had to use some Jedi mind trick type dialogue to close the deal. The baby is cute but is squirming around too much and give her back and I move to the lady with the 3 year old and have to do some convincing again to be able to hold her. I am surprised how much heavier she feels in the dream. The dream seemed to replicate the difference between the two girls quite well. I make baby faces at the girl playing with her for a bit and then hand her back over and start to look around and think about what I want to do next and lose the dream. Kind of short. I should have had some goals in mind but have kind of let goals slip into the back seat lately. Like yesterday I am able to float back to sleep with some interesting HH's including one of a gorgeous woman turning to look at me and her hair flowing. 237

Night 4 of "meditating" on my dreams and continuation of day practices adding silliness to up attention to my RC and RRC's. During WBTB I keep a little more sleepy/dreamy and don't stay up long but stay awake a while in bed keeping the focus simply on my previous dreams with the occasional MILD-like affirmation...usually one or two thoughts only which seems to allow me to float into HH's with some light awareness. Once again immediate waking life showing up in my dreams though I guess FA's more commonly do that.

(Not my son). A little boring for anyone but me probably. Leave College? classes (4 classes meet only once per week-must be College) to pick up "sick" son. Bring him back to school to get homework/assignments, nah...Chasing my now 'young again' son playfully running out of my car and darting behind a building into a very narrow alley...he turns into a girl and I think dream-like that I can squeeze into that tight alley no problem (that I wouldn't have a chance to in waking life). I see the gap opens up further down and can see the girl and several boys about to go into a doorway. I decide to float up and say to one of the boys that has approached "see, this is all a dream." (taking a dream-only action seems to be a way to make sure I pay attention to the realization that I am dreaming...no longer getting many "a-ha's!" but almost always now getting "Okay, this is a dream." The green part above may have been just such a moment.). Fully comfortable that I am not really about to lose my son since this is all a dream, I turn my back away from where he (turned girl) went and the boy that approached just before follows me and I float down to him and after thinking about knocking him aside for some reason, I think why...and instead put my hands on each side of his face in a caring way and resolve to just study his face. His face is very smooth like young skin but then I feel a few prickly spots like he has stubble in a few spots and I think that is odd for the dream to come up with. I decide to move on and float away and start to think if there were any pretty teachers in the school next door that I was in earlier. The boy wants to hold on to my hand though. I shake my hand gently but obviously and he takes a bite of my hand. I am patient knowing it is a dream but I still try different things like pulling my hand out from the grip of his teeth (not painful), giving in and letting him eat it off, prying his teeth apart with my other hand (the teeth felt very realistic when I reach in with my other hand), or just teleporting away. Scene goes gray and I just float in the void before my wife wakes me up. (for real, no FA unless I am still dreaming right now! It's always possible! haha)
Not as brief as I planned. Earlier sweet dream with Girl Friday planning to spend the day with her and a number of times I was questioning the scenarios/specifics (not my car - who's is it, is that a family member?, ) in my mind. Also an adorable baby I was taking care of and trying to keep asleep. 220

Getting more recall out of short naps with "bubble thinking outside of my body" both yesterday afternoon (less than 15 minutes nap) and the same this morning before starting my day.

For my record...Things I have been doing lately. Day: RRCIS. Quick RRC with hand motion out and in + quick clear light + I am here! I am he who is aware of this awareness +occasional dream action imagined (since I affect everything around me) + what was I thinking or doing 5 minutes before. (sounds complicated but it is usually done in about 10-15 seconds / Intermixed (sometimes also do this or just do this or just do the previous) ... RC-really stop + simulate RC showing dream & slowing down observing, imaginatively taking dream actions. (can be longer depending on how long I continue the imagination).
Night: pre-bed & wbtb... some quick combined SSILD cycles broken off and intermixed (however I feel like it at the time) with imagining being in a scene (sometimes specific, i.e. hotel) other than my bedroom as being a general dream sign and becoming lucid + taking a dream only action, but also reminding myself to motionless RC in bedroom for FA's.

Upside: LD 2 nights in a row for final two nights and a memorable WILD, though somewhat short. Downside: not a whole lot of points and the one the next night even shorter.

8/9/14* something sexual in party setting? / parameters of video recording / rental house white paint maybe painted in here looks nice in day..not bright at night. / guy being dragged behind boat as punishment. Acquaintance calls out for him to be freed. / While experimenting with visualizing and taking control of HH's, I fall into a wild. What I at first only saw as an advanced dreamlet that would likely dematerialize, became more as I interacted with it or already was more. I was apparently standing outside perhaps in front of a restaurant or similar area where people would gather in front of and there's this group of people including this sexy woman in a gorgeous dress. It was skin tight with white and earth tones in it with the different colors in blocks on a solid white base. Most of the earth tone colors were horizonal blocks around the midsection and bottom of the dress and there were two vertical blocks over the thighs that were see through revealing her beautiful thighs. Idecide to take action in what I think is a still a dreamlet. I say something complimentary about her and her dress.<<DC interact>> She takes my hand and urges me towards the town car that she apparently came in. As we both climb in the visuals become more ethereal with only flashes of light here and there as we have sex it feels like we are both in space floating weightless and moving together as one in a wonderful moment of ecstasy! This continues for a while until I wake up. Maybe 3-4 minutes total. Wow!!! 188

8/10/14* narrator: gruesome scene but also surreal scene. He used a hammer. / keep paperwork? From time we went to hospital to show hardship. False memory. / thank you bro-law E..for picking me up? Giving me a ride? / normal sport not in normal position, not tired at all. Losing my normal position? At half-time go into school see sexy woman and think if dream I would take action (like I was thinking during wbtb visualization), wake / penises on TV, all different, wife sees and giggles, for some reason I worry during dream that wife may be imagining another man during sex. / on phone with MB, us as witness for lawyer for her divorce case / at school for event, auditorium doors open part way by themselves. I peek in and it is dark and ominous. I take off down hall...Should I Fly?!!! this is a dream! Go for Step3 to the TOTY (sleeping beauty who was also was going to be transformed to Scarlett for my personal goal but I didn't get far at all)...Look for exit...doors locked...I bust through like Superman. I fly super fast up toward "fantasyland" as imagined...maybe 25 seconds and I stop, thinking this is far enough. While deciding whether to step out or fall back,to get into fantasyland, I wake. 189 / JD from 90 minutes North of here brings a baby & small girl...just dropping them off can't stay (ex coming?) I carry baby...big! Pantsless so I go to bathroom find swim trunks. More people coming for a party...swim trunks are embarrassing. Day residue or like baby the other night, also big. Use baby for baby new year in parade. Baby teetering...falls but falls well so he's unhurt. I try to break his fall and miss - too late, and pick him up. Cute woman washing dishes and moving butt sexily (visualization residue for girl friday) I say don't do that...implying provocative. Camera. / I slept too long and still try an afternoon nap before end of competition to try to get more points knowing that the last two nights will not add up to a whole lot of points. Was able to get HH's and interact some but eventually just knock out for the nap.

Real rough and brief notes, *mainly for self...

5/29/14*
lady bleeding from hand. OMG you're still bleeding? There was so much blood on the floor as I go to help and she almost passes out. Do you have insurance? (She probably needs blood infusion I think to myself). American Beauty bloody scene last night..? 2 others helping in hospital or clinic-like place and I am holding someone's baby....hers? I am playing mouth games with the baby who is so cute maybe 3 months and it gets the baby smiling. I blow into baby's mouth and puff up her(?) cheeks. This seemed to be a significant dream for me related to stuff going on, especially the woman bleeding and maybe the baby represented my new personal developments./
CJ big black Ford truck 905??. CJ=clara jane? /
Son driving. Another car backs into bicyclist they seem to fight around the accident. heading to sons middle school but we stop short to walk the rest away but he forgot something in the car of course. I say I will go back to get the car we should have parked at the school anyway. I realize as going back for the car as everything turns dark that it is a dream and push my way through the darkness and fly. Then I am face down floating above my bed attempting a motion based deild before I notice I am above the bed. The motion is one where I seem to have two sets of wings but first I was planning on pulling down my shorts and doing something sexual but I wonder if I might act that out in bed (IWL) and my wife would see. She recently wanted me to stop LDing. Anyway, the kinetic motion of the two sets of wings was incredible (alternating flaps, front set and then back set, very odd feeling) while floating above my bed and attempting to create a new scene from it but woke up. 154

5/30/14* chase? Attempt float down from high in lobby? Seemed semi-lucid here but recall poor. /Hotel...race to book room *at hotel. / (Success related to meeting last night). / 540:M from S thinks she's in love. Other couple doubts. I'm changing clothes in same room as couple...guy goes heads into bathroom...I'll change quickly while he's in the bathroom in front of the girlfriend. /
* I go outside to check looks like it'll be nice sunset. Odd tree shaped clouds...mushroom clouds? Nah...but I should go pick up son(@school?). Rushing back home I realize this is a dream and I can just fly...I float up over the house on my right and onto my block (weird version of my neighborhood?). I see a group of people out on a front patio/deck and fly up over to them and one female is sitting in a skirt with her legs spread and I am thinking about having some fun. I hear my alarm going off IWL while still in the dream and consider for a few moments if I should ignore it for a little while but realize that I need to get up and drop off my son and go ahead and wake up (or maybe would have anyway) and found the alarm actually going off (it is a gentle one). Not really trying anything tonight but to sleep due to game latter in day, but some late awakenings added awareness I'm sure. 155

Night 10 (3/17/14) WRRW MILD woke me at end of first 90 minute cycle - unusually early awakening for me and dream content was MILD related false lucid where I was affecting the dream content with MILD-like thoughts. Odd one. WRRW=Wake, Recall, Re-enter, Write. Three minor dream signs show up in next dream recorded before WBTB: truck, grocery store, police(thoughts of only).

DILD: I am in a version of what is closest to M. Blvd but 2 levels. I am making more bubbles (kids bubble bottle with bubble wand inside) and something on the label of the bubble bottle seems to tell me that you can dilute the solution up to 50% and not affect the quality, so I add water. I hear a baby crying (minor dream sign) and look out the window and I can see that the neighbor's window is open and the sound seems to be coming from there. I then see a ~1 year old boy playing in the back yard, newly walking and looks somewhat like boys of my family, even myself or son. Inside our house some lady that is at our medium-sized gathering/party blows some bubbles that apparently land on an antique television that is up against the wall and a small fire starts. I run over and unplug the tv and blow out the fire. I say that these old appliances are dangerous. I go to make a label for the new bubble solution that I apparently put in a pill bottle and am looking for a marker write directly on the bottle but it is writing too light. I then decide to use post-it's and I notice writing already on the top post-it note and then the next 3 or 4. Something feels off. I think "wait a minute (my father-in-law) is here, this must be a dream." I don't remember seeing him or thinking about him during this dream before this point. I am still in a bit of disbelief due to how wrapped up I had been in this scenario up until this point. I look over to my wife kind of testing her reaction "hey your Dad is here, this must be a dream" and she looks at me like he is supposed to be here and with a "what are you going on about" look. Nope, this is definitely a dream, he passed away. I head over towards the living room and I see one of my son's college friends "E" and I take a lengthy detour but it doesn't derail me! I give her that look like "you know you want it too" and we start going at it. A good test to my lucidity is approaching. It is my son and a friend coming down the stairs and I think to myself, no worries, this is just a dream and I continue.

Spoiler for sexual content:

Super-paraphrased: I remove her top then pants, then intercourse on the couch

along with kissing while being careful not to get too lost in all of it. It is so realistic, the sensations are amazing. I decide it is time to move on and I fly up and phase straight through the ceiling/2nd story/roof as if it wasn't even there. I see a body of water and decide it would be fun to swoop down and do a little partial dip into the water still 'naked as a jaybird.' I then fly back up and hover above the water. I think about my 3 step tasks for the competition and still need to do steps 2 & 3 so I do a closed eye teleport (step 2) to space! Awesome!! I went from a daylight scene over the water to immediately being in dark outer space!! I think about step 3, mass telekinesis and something that I have been wanting to do for a while, moving a planet! I looked over to a grayish planet (the vividness of the dream was somewhat reduced at this point) and I am beaming with confidence and moved the planet what looked like a meter or so...but I am guessing it was what must have been the equivalent of thousands of kilometers considering the distance that I must have been from the planet which took up maybe 5-10% of the area immediately visible (without looking around)...but definitely larger than the typical moon display from Earth. While floating there excited over my success and considering what I want to do next I feel myself fading back to bed quickly. I try to DEILD but I only get minor vibrations and just lay there smiling and recalling all that just happened and how the dream started. The part before becoming lucid took some effort to bring it all back.

Night 6 (3/13/14) excerpt/from competition thread: I am flying in an airplane over water and enjoying the view from the cockpit. We get into a cloudy spot and I start to become concerned that I am flying too low as the water didn't look too far down before hitting the clouds so I looked for the altimeter but didn't find it and decided I better start pulling up. The clouds break and we are approaching a large city on the coast with skyscrapers. I feel like I already suspicious of this being an unusual situation and something about the scenario cues me in that I am dreaming. I think it was seeing this sign down below that got me thinking sexually all of the sudden and realizing that I can take action on that feeling in situations like dreaming. Either way I realize that this is a dream and phase through the cockpit and start flying with my dream body in a more gliding way enjoying my new freedom of movement. I swoop down towards the city and i am on the ground on the wrong side of the building. I fly up and over the building and back down to this place that is set up like a carnival side show with DCs all around. There is this woman that is part of the show who is supposedly from Syria with belly dancing like attire and she is getting undressed. It was very realistic and decide to get undressed and join her. I stop and do a quick finger through palm RC but it indicates awake so I float up a little and then continue getting undressed before fading back to bed. I felt I could re-enter the dream but my shoulder was so sore that I just had to move and I could feel my body shake a bit and my muscles become fully functional but I try anyway and eventually have to get up for a while like a 2nd wbtb but mainly to allow myself to get back to sleep later.
118&119

3/4*!
I feel like this earlier dream was an important reminder (from my subconscious I assume) to let the family of the deceased know that they are still in our thoughts and prayers(done this morning!). The deceased died very unexpectedly and way too young! In it I dreamed of M from A again, along with G who died almost 5 years ago this month (I think he was memorialized in dream the night before (foggy memory night before) that also had M from A for sure and who ties in closely with G). Yesterday it seemed like his name might have memorialized on jerseys which were green and blue. Tonight it was a memorial in a grassy hilly area and M gave me a State tie pin that was supposed to be connected to G.

DILD: there is a party with family there and quite a few unknown people, quite crowded in some version of M Blvd but not really, perhaps my childhood home had some elements here as well. Someone says hey that sounds like a baby, do you hear that? I look around and I also then hear the crying and look down over my left shoulder and see very small baby newborn in a carrier on the ground. I go to pick up the baby with a big smile and very happy but then I realize that this baby showed up out of the blue and that I am definitely dreaming. I think of DutchRaptor-style tests of lucidity level and think to myself, since I am dreaming I have no problem dropping this baby back to the ground (from about 2 feet up) and I did so but it felt awkward and wrong before reminding myself...hey it's just a dream, move on. I think of the basic TOTM and I walk over from the living room to the kitchen and ask a female DC what her middle name is, there is a delay and I say nicely, I just need a name, your middle name. She says what sounds like "Frando." Then I am feeling a bit frisky and go around the house looking for an attractive DC passing my brother in law (one who moved about 1 year ago) and mother in law in a family room type area behind the kitchen and to the right of that my son is half awake on a bed in an odd spot in the open asking me what I am doing but I just keep going. I circle back around to the kitchen and two of my son's college age friends are there and I think, why not. I start kissing one after some flirtation and she gets a little too tongue-y for my taste and the other friend joins in kissing me as well...it becomes a little odd (too much tongue) and I fly up and out of the house. Looking at the night sky I think of the Bonus TOTM, alien abduction. I decide I will call out for them to come and get me but my voice doesn't come out right and it is garbled and I think that I was just talking to the DC with the middle name after becoming lucid, perhaps my SC doesn't want me to call out for aliens?? I think what the heck and I try again and I can talk clearly: "Aliens, come and get me" as I am floating maybe 200 feet up. I see a orangish-red circular coloration in the sky with a smaller circle in the middle but definitely not a ship, more like an aurora and nothing is happening so I say it again and then move on. I fly back down over a country-like neighborhood with maybe 4 houses including the one I came out of with the party. There is lots of space and land in-between and green rolling hills lit up in what looks like moon-light though I hadn't seen a moon so far. Out in front of one of the homes up and to the left from my downward view I see a woman in a long flowing gown with a young child just behind her and I swoop down. We talk and there is an obvious connection between us, I tell her that she is very beautiful. She looks a little like Scarlett Johansson (who I have been incubating an image of) but her cheeks are less pronounced and her nose more narrow. She grabs my hand and says, let me show you to your room. I say that I would like to stay with her and she says "but I have the kids (two) to look after" and I say that I can help her look after them but first I lean in for a kiss and we have a passionate kiss and I am so enthralled by the realism. I can hardly believe this is only a dream. She is so beautiful, she is so natural and not the least bit mindless and as we start to get on towards more sexual activity there in the moonlit grass I return to bed and I can tell that I am fully awake and there is no going back in but I am smiling from ear to ear, very enthralled. Perhaps this was my SC giving me a "true love" DC related to last months TOTM.

A little different:
Awareness work type: retracing my steps (&looking at myself from the outside)
Pre bed: quick review of recent dream signs: stars, tram/variation, my fam, ex's
wbtb: none planned but trouble sleeping around 6.5 hours(odd cycle, REM rebound?)

11/18/13 LD #72 Late morning quick wbtb led to an awareness dild where I floated around the room and structure(drew it un-artistically), found Girl Friday and had a great time between the sheets. Dream sign mantra seems to be yielding some results but this one had more to do with awareness that the location was not in the same condition as it is in waking life...basically it was in the middle of remodeling.

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11/19/13 What is really strange is that one of my dream signs that only comes around maybe once a month but is usually a lucidity inducer (my deceased father in law) has shown up the last 2 nights and went right over my head (I assume my mantra incubated him into my dreams)...yet last night it may have kept me going in a more meaningful dream that was really quite special to me personally...it was my wife as a 2 year old coming up to me and she was just so darn cute...I didn't know her that young but I assume the DC was created from pictures I have seen of her around that age...(I am not posting my other dreams, getting lazy to and besides I have them in my personal journal) The dream:
Special one, false awakening into a fluffy bed with lots of comforters I can hear the train outside and I think that is strange this is not a place where I normally hear a train, it feels like its a house near (next town south) but perhaps it is the house on M. I get up and go to the living room and sit on the couch...later father-in-law gets up from bed I assume and comes and sits next to me as well as someone else gets up at the same time (feels like it is the strange version of my mother in law from the previous night's dream). He's telling me that he was seeing (this mother-in-law DC) or whoever doing something like a yoga pose where she's starts off on her back and legs up in the air and he's kind of wondering why does she do that, it seems like it has something to do with being able to lucid dream. A little kid walks by in the hall on the far side of the room, maybe about 2 years old and I hold my hands out and say come here about 3 times quickly and the kid comes towards me and surprisingly it looks like a young little (my wife's name)!! She is just so adorable. She has short hair and it just looks like her, like her pictures or like a really good representation of what my mind would think she would look when she was that age. She comes towards me but my father-in-law(her father) picks her up and it looks like she's fussing a little bit like she wants to come over to me and I say no its okay stay with (father-in-law) about 3 times as I rub her shoulder and arm in assurance. It feels like this was about to make me lucid as I woke up. As I'm laying in bed awake I think about how neat it is almost like traveling back in time to see her when she was young when she looked so darling. I also wondered if perhaps it was supposed to be our baby since I've been dreaming a lot about babies lately (no baby expected that I know of!).