NyxCC

15 Jan

WBTB, reviewed goals, recall prior to that quite poor. Late dinner is not a good idea.

I'm at a non-existent apartment with bf. We are getting ready to go to bed on time when his friends come and stay for a while, making it impossible to do so. I am upset, smash a potato on the floor and then decide to leave - go to my old place to sleep.

As I go out on the streets my awareness increases and I realize that I'm dreaming. My thinking is still clouded. I recall I forgot the keys in the previous place, but conclude there is no need to worry about that because I can just summon them. I try to take off flying with some initial difficulty launching. I briefly contemplate that I have been using this sort of flying in my dreams lately - slightly pushing towards the ground, something like a jump launch and then superman style.

I am quickly gaining altitude, trying to orient myself above what I consider to be my home town. The scenery changes with lots of unknown streets and gets extremely cold. I feel the cold is hampering me from flying properly, the snow and people on the ground become a distraction. I decide to land in a snow-covered yard.

My awareness diminishes as I go to inspect what's ahead. In the building ahead is an administrative refugee help center. Looks like it was founded a long time ago, there are 4 traditional Chinese characters on the wall. The place has gotten a lot of attention from the locals with journalists and a few unknown celebrities waiting to go inside. I excuse myself, remembering that I was originally headed home and leave.

As I walk down the streets I see the stadium and know I should be near. I choose a shortcut by climbing a few buildings. As I climb this weirdly looking structure, with lots of metal shaped in strange forms, my awareness increases again. Finally I reach the top of the structure, which faces a well supervised office. I don't think passing through should be a big issue as I can technically go as I please. I sneak in and look for the door out. There are several doors, one of them has a female security guard talking to another DC. No matter which door I chose, she is going to notice me. Oh, well that doesn't really matter, does it? I decide to ignore all that and just exit the building. I know the DC has seen me. I know she finds this weird and would probably want to go after me. But I intend that she does not. She just looks at me and ignores me. At the same time, a feeling of regret overtakes me. I feel I have ruined this scenario by meddling with the natural course of events and now the story feels incomplete.

Memory gap. I find myself at my old place. There's a minor leftover of awareness upon looking at the weird balcony and room being merged. The dream takes over my consciousness. I hear squeaks and other noises coming from the neighbours and see the neighbour kid playing on the balcony. He hasn't grown up at all, I think. Couple of minutes later, as if it's a game, he jumps off the balcony and hits the ground. I am terrified as I see his imminent death but even though he seems injured, he gets up and hurries into the building. I call his grandma (DS) to make sure he gets an examination as soon as possible.

Date: 28 Dec

A typical chase-run scenario - it's been a while since I had one of these. With this one, not so much being chased but rather running away. At the old place, menacing DCs coming, I jump out the window, land on the neighbors' porch, grab some food and take off again. I continue running and flying at top speed in the neighborhood, passing by houses and yards. My awareness gradually increases and while I'm flying around this interesting old looking red building, I begin to tell myself that I'm dreaming. Now, I also find myself circling around the building while using the sticky fingers technique to hold myself to the surface. Yes, definitely dreaming.

I remember the first part of the mantra, the basic totm which was to laugh in front of a DC. There's only buildings and trees around so I fly ahead to reach the street where I spot a weirld looking DC. He's the unpleasant overly active to mildly aggressive DC type. Couple more DCs appear near us and I send him to the side to interact with them instead. I come across a tall handsome Swedish looking guy with ear-length blond hair. I make a mental note of his appearance. Ok, task time already - I announce to him that for this totm I will have to laugh like a crazy person. He waits in expectation as I laugh out loud in a manner that sounds very unnatural. This doesn't seem to impress him much and he just keeps looking at me with a blank expression. I think about the other tasks but the dream thins out and I wake up.

9 July Backlog

10 min wbtb with couple of snoozes before that

Snow

I fall asleep and find myself on the street, looking at these flowing dots, reminding me of the rain/snow and energy. I marvel them for a while and then they turn into really large snowflakes and the snow covers the street. As this is an immediate dream entry I am not fully grounded, notice that can move my hands almost ok now so I grab a bit of snow and form a snowball, throw it at a DC ahead - this requires some effort. The scene soon ends.

Restaurant attempt

A semi lucid scene follows where I am in this weird building, running away from a huge snake-like creature. I know it's a dream, but I like messing around with the scenario. I escape through the highest window.

A moment later, I find myself outside in a kitchen and think about the restaurant task. Could this theme be used for a restaurant? There are enough bottles and plates and food around, but no DCs. It doesn't look expensive though (5 star required by the task). I go outside and it turns to the yard of our place in the past. Our parents are sitting on this outdoors drinks arrangement. I wonder again if this could be used for the task, there is a table and chairs. It could well be an outdoors restaurant. The dream soon loses stability and I wake up.

Clone attempt

I find myself in a car going somewhere with a familiar DC with me on the backseat. I remember the clone task and try to summon one on the front seat. The car actually drives by itself. A DC appears on the seat but instead of me is someone that looks like S, then another guy in his 50ies or so with a beard. Overall not very attractive DCs. I still have hopes that he will be able to change so I decide to kiss him, close my eyes and imagine the DC transform. I follow the plan and as I approach to kiss him, I am surprised by the distinct feel of his beard on my lips, which I wasn't thinking is there at all. But he has a beard and there it is. I try to manipulate him into transforming while he does most of the kissing obviously enjoying himself. It's not pleasant at all but I get all the details of his lips seeming independently controlled movements. He doesn't change so I pull away and whine a few times for him to transform then the dream ends.

wake up, very brief review

Expensive restaurant

A non-ld scenario goes on for a while, then towards the end I come to my senses and remember the restaurant task. I walk around looking for something that will do. This task starts to get really difficult, I am thinking. I'm now outside facing a swimming pool which reminds me of the one in front of the hotel. I know there is a restaurant there that should offer fancy food. However, I'm slightly concerned about my ability to reach it as I feel uncontrollable dream instability all around. As a result, I carefully sway forward like a drunken person till I cross over the swimming pool and get to the side where the restaurant is.

There are already people sitting near a large table with tons of champagne bottles here and there. Champagne, that is good, it means the restaurant is expensive, I think to myself due to the 5* requirement of the task. There is a plate of oysters and other fish canapés so I head towards it and eat the special mixture there. It tastes similar to a freshly made salmon spread. I'm feeling pretty satisfied with the task up to this point, though there could have been more food. My mom comes to distract me with something she apparently cooked, trying to convince me to taste it. I do and then shortly after lose lucidity.The dessert comes - a chocolatey profiteroles sundae but the dream ends.

Clone girl - frag

I end up in the room, lucid again, remember the clone task, close the door, try to summon a clone. This girl comes in, she is not quite me, but will do. I try to remember what I wanted for us to do. Can't remember after that.

Flying - frag

I remember flying and getting higher out of the sudden and then recall our recent conversation with Ginsan about finding something to zoom in to. So, I just keep looking down, trying to find something awesome and as I do, I find myself flying over fantastic valleys with green grass and orange colored trees. The entire scene is very color saturated. Then, I zoom in towards the ground and pick up a poppy flower. I find this so amazing. Nothing's more awesome than picking up a flower.

Date: 16 April

Got insomnia prior to wbtb

A very long series about an hour? with 3-4 deilds in between.

Very fragmented recall but lds were vivid and eventful all the way through

Forgotten nld part, then at some point I realize that I am dreaming and remember the shower task. I boldly get into this building with the task in mind. It turns out to be a special monastery with baths for visitors. I enter a large room, beautiful floor covered with pleasant light brown stone and special sections for bathing. Those look very zen, (standing) human sized "shower" area full of water and surrounded with lighter stones and some stones neatly arranged in the water and a large soap bar among the stones. I get in the special place and start soaping and washing myself while looking around. The dream soon ends.

A fragment where I am flying straight ahead for a while (relatively long in dream flying terms) just enjoying it. I recall one of the intro class students was saying that the most awesome part about flying is feeling the wind, so I pay more attention to it and it really feels great.

Involved in a forgotten part of the ld, then I walk around thinking about the similarities of certain drunk states and dreaming. Me and this female DC make a lot of party noise and look at other DCs. Then I remember the jogging task and decide it will be cool if we both made a little race ahead. I get into a position, but suddenly my body feels exhausted as if we already ran a marathon. I grasp for air and notice taking deep breaths, then wonder about breathing in dreaming (it only exists if you think about it).

Anyways, this is all wrong since we need to jog and not sprint, so we will be ok (less fatigue). We start running at a slow pace, paying attention to the environment. It's the center of an unknown town with a lot of food ads. What's funny is that almost the same ads keep reappearing as we go along. One is of large burger resembling big mac and the other of a less appealing exotic sandwich. I make mental notes as I keep jogging. Then I look at couple of stores, read the names of the businesses and try to remember them. After the last store, I slow down to take note of a Chinese place where they have some merchandise displayed, but it seems to have stayed here for quite a while. Dusty bamboo baskets and similar bamboo and wood items.

Right in front of it is another store, which looks very inviting, so I decide to enter inside. It's full of different statues made of metal, gems, all in Asian style. I have a look at as many of these as possible, even receiving false memories from some statues. End of memory

In a room with bf and a DC that closely resembles Benedict Cumberbatch. This was a long experience and conversation but I don't remember much. Cumberbatch is extremely life like DC, seems to have his own ideas and I understand everything he says (no gibberish). I ask if bf will remember this dream, he answers that possibly no, because the dreaming body can actually roam around and gather experiences without our knowledge.

I feel very uplifted in his presence and even think I have found a persistent character - two weeks ago a similar DC appeared in the dream with the Mexican miners.

But what strikes me the most is the realness of the experience. He has his sleeves rolled? so I can see he has a number of tattoos (I even try to recognize/memorise them initially), but what's most interesting are the tactile sensations. As I run my hand over his I feel the texture of his skin, perfect in terms of texture sensation and I notice that his tattoos are actually fake. Around each tattoo is a little rectangle that reveals they like those tattoo stickers for kids. The difference between the tattoo and the normal skin can be distinctly felt, which I find an amazing piece of dream detail.

At some point the dream fades but I manage to deild back.

I find myself in a store where this constantly shape shifting DC gives me a ring but tells me he is married already. Then he gives me another set of wedding rings with hearts and also shifts to a classmate. I wonder whether there is any truth in his statements and also how entertaining being part of this dream scenario is. Memory gap.

Fragments: Back with Cumberbatch at another dream scene for a short while. The place then transitions to an outdoors part, where I watch a number of DCs flying up in the air. Later, I decide to jog around a bit more but don't get very far this time.

Date: 11 Nov

A great deal of strong vivid dreams (alas no notes for all taken or reviewed)

Nld frag: Some sort of cool TK practice and one of the DCs asks me how I have achieved such proficiency. My reply - I have practiced this a lot in dreams.

Mini wbtb: dreams were cool, so I had the desire to just sleep but forced myself to repeat a few mantras and reviewed the tasks.

LD: At our old home with mom in the corridor. There are little bugs that mutate into flies and we try to hunt them. After a while I leave the place and am in an unknown location with Chinese mint candy that is the cause of all the bugs. Once I open it, a little bug comes out and runs away to mutate.

There's a Chinese guy sitting next to another DC and I go to him to explain what happened before that.

Memory gap and scene transformation. I'm in what's supposed to be a dream version of a slightly familiar neighborhood. I greet a number of praying people, while flying around the corner. I continue on my way in this now nicely looking neighborhood, my awareness is gradually increasing to lucidity as I continue gently flying forward and up and down. I recall a recent conversation about flying and think about that for a moment.

Then I remember the totm about finding a pile of leaves and jumping in it and look around. There is a beatiful blossoming purple magnolia tree and lots of petals on the ground. Could that do? No, wait! It's supposed to be fall right now, but oh the tree looks great and a version with petal jumping would have been awesome too. I decide to scan the area for any proper for the season vegetation and see some leaves on the ground and a few piles of them. As I approach one of the piles, it diminishes in size, so I turn to another pile that is neatly gathered in a wooden crate.

At this point, I begin to feel the dream thinning so rush forward and jump into the crate. I fall inside with the leaves and the dream nastily generates a number of metal pieces where I hurt myself. I find myself in a fallen semi seated position thinking about all this. This has been one of the very realistic experiences where you actually jump, fall and hurt yourself. It feels very physical, with great proximity to real life sensations and aching feedback from all body parts and your position. The pain is more towards dull, but equally realistic. In this moment, I hope that the amount of sensory information would help stabilize the dream as is often the case, but the dream comes to its natural end.

I'm happy about totm, but feel sleepy and do a rather quick mental review.

Date: 22 Aug

Behind with journalling as usual. These are for CL's dare about the Great Pyramid.

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Back to the old place dream. It seems even though I left the place, I have the dream memory that I come back and stay here every time for a while [yes, every couple of dreams!]. I feel guilty about not informing the landlord and think about packing my stuff.

At some point when lying in that room's bed, I get in touch with both realities (i.e. start to feel my physical body) maybe just waking up as everything looks very blurry now. Semi consciously, I exert efforts to bring back the dream. The room forms again, everything is perfect even the table although it is not quite an exact match.

I open the window, it's very dark and I look in direction of the neighbors to see a young woman holding or throwing some object. I look at the mostly cloudless sky and then remember an on-going goal [enjoy the night sky], expecting to see cool constellations but the stars look rather normal even too dim. I feel the urge to fly up and so go ahead and lift off.

This flying style is more like that of a bird (hands spread like wings), at any rate it feels like a bird sliding on currents of air. An unpleasant feel as I quickly fly down - it's a physical sensation rather than a mental one. I wonder about it and try to control it, fly gliding down a bit. At some point I land on the top of a nearby building. There is a DC below trying to interact with me. I remember the pyramid task but there is snow all around it doesn't quite feel right. Nevertheless, I try to summon a pyramid by spontaneously getting my hands to form a triangle and I impose it on the background, staring inside to see the pyramid. This results in a good but distant version of the pyramid where I feel like it will take too much time to reach so try again.

The outcome is a smaller pyramid, made of much lighter white greyish stone and something that looks like an entrance. As I come closer I disappointedly ascertain that this pyramid is way too small and the entrance is more like a diagonally shaped part of the design. I wonder whether this would count but dismiss the idea.

Somehow, possibly after turning around and looking for a place to do another summon, I end up inside a store. I continue with my summons here (facing the windows) and make a triangle with my hands, looking inside with squinting eyes causing blurred vision which helps manipulate the color and material of the pyramid. Alas, all resulting pyramids are a shifty mirrage and their place is taken by something like a large mosque from a nicely matching material. I leave the store to explore and see if anything can be made with the structure but the alarm wakes me up.


Date: 24 Aug

I'm in some sort cafe with couple of Asians and Emm. We are about to drink tea but I have to leave without paying as everybody evacuates due to disease alarm. On my way out I contemplate that in this dream Emm didn't quite play a positive role.

After getting out, I end up in this yard and look ahead. At this point am already lucid after the contemplations about classmate Emm. The grass and eveything else has a red tint and it looks very interesting. I remember that this was a task [add photoshop effect] but think that since it's already done it may not count. Once again I have an urge to take off and just fly ahead. I do so and end up flying between trees and bushes and towards a darker area of the woods. It doesn't look very inviting and also there is the reduction of visual stimuli that adds to the feel. Before I can do anything else the dream falls apart.

PS: Stay tuned for the next part!

Date: 25 Jun

Pre bed: 40mg B6

Woke up a million times during the night, but not once attempted to deild/wild, etc.

Wbtb: 1/2 latte but was somewhat less wakeful than necessary

HI: with Sensei (only team colors this time, my name in green, his in silver )

Fell asleep in rather heavy sleep.

LD: I'm using the tram without a ticket and am worried about that but don't realize it's a dream till later.

At some point I'm on the street lucid and do some spontaneus flying again. I see this guy from school and decide to fly towards him, where I focus on my hands being on his shoulder and speed fly/zoom to move there. I recall to seek Sensei but decide the dream needs stabilizing and spend a few seconds feeling the texture of the guy's jacket. He says a few words and I probe whether he can talk but he mostly replies with gibberish.

We continue down the street and there's another guy with him. It gradually gets darker till it's as dark as night. I gaze at a distant light that's so bright it leaves an after image. I think about asking about this on DV. This doesn't make things better for my vision as everything around fades into darkness. I address the guys and tell them to fix this, that we need some color but the they don't help much. The physical sensations are still here, so I decide to bring back the scene by engaging in action and begin to strip one of the guys.

A scene appears in full color but for some reason this has the effect of an FA and I become very concerned about what I'm doing. A moment later wake up.

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, had trouble falling asleep (external factors)

At some point, I begin to feel energetic as has been occasionally the case, but interrupt the process by visiting the restroom. Finding a comfortable position is not easy.

WILD: Finally, I turn to my lhs and remain still for some time. Then find myself staring at this DC woman with green blouse, it feels like I'm in.

I make cautious movements, trying to get up from the same position I was sleeping, initially just move my head. A slight scene change, I am now in my old room. I begin rocking sideways, the way I did at the beginning of another ld. This makes me feel more comfortable/fit in my dream body. Then I fully get up. The dream feels slightly unstable and I head for the window, where I tear down the curtains and look outside.

It is dark as hell, no light in the apartment and not a single light in the entire town. I remember to look at the sky - it's mostly clear, a slight mist and no stars at all. I look to my right and feel a bit creeped out. It is dark there. My worry is that I might summon something by habit. I recall I wanted to and shortly do breathing exercises. The effect is very powerful, I feel lots of saturated energy coming in and as part of me.

I decide to get in and turn around, it is a bit brighter in the room. I head towards the switch and turn it on. No light. Then I concentrate on the bulb and try to make light radiate from it, there's some effect but the room does not get brighter. I imagine another lamp and try to do the same with similar results.

Maybe I can use some candles, so I summon three small blue candles and work hard to light them. I've always thought that lighting a candle should be easy in a dream, but it turns out not. I just can't imagine the fire I guess. The wicks get bigger and fluffier and the candles change to larger ones and I make some fire-like sparks with my hands, rubbing the wick, hoping it will catch fire and use the other candles to spread it. They appear to have a ghostlike fire now, but don't emit much light as I place them around. I am annoyed with my abilities, but feel that I just need to do some fire gazing irl to improve them.

I retreat to the bed and examine the furniture. There's lots of stuff around and it looks as if I am back in this room. I wonder about how accurate the proportions are. It's exactly the same size. Most of the objects belong to the particular time frame when I lived there, but there is the blanket from our current home. Then a sofa from our old place appears for my amusement. I think about doing more breathing exercises (maybe just a few breaths?, not much done or effect) and contemplate on my life while living there. In the meantime, it is a much brighter day outside, when did that happen? Cool!

At some point I notice that I am holding a melting candle in my hand and decide to extinguish it and put it aside, but somehow feel that this symbolic act means the end of the dream. Indeed, just a bit later, the dream starts to thin out.

I think I did touch on my body very briefly, but it might have been a in-dream chain.

DEILD/DILD: I eagerly wait for the next scene, wondering if it will be in the same place. I see (kind of like in third person) myself walking in bathrobe in this place. I'm in properly now and have the ability to look around and choose where I want to go. It's inside a building and I look at this open door which reveals a softly lit bedroom apartment. I briefly consider it, but prefer to go outside, so head towards the door. It seems that it is still winter, piles of semi-thawed snow and I am not properly dressed, but for once boldly go outside. I try to phase through the glass door, but it's solid so I just open it. As I pass through the back entrance of the building and yard I see that part of the yard is sunlit and feel happy about that. Maybe I will finally have the opportunity to look for a palace looking building once I get to the street. I also think about possibly being invisible, but not sure how to apply at this point.

There are different levels of the side of the building, so I have to maneuver by climbing near a balcony to manage reaching the front of the building. I see a weirdly shaped gray cat there and wonder if it is a real cat and can see me (cats are supposed to see things like people possibly obeing), but it doesn't react like it would if that were the case. It's controlled by my thoughts and comes closer. There's something not very catlike in it, like another sort of animal I can't identify. I don't want to get too involved (and have it stuck to me like a blanket) so ignore it and think about finding the palace. There are only normal buildings around and I think I need to get in the middle of the street where I would get a clearer (trees here) view of the buildings and hopefully think of or see something appropriate.

In the middle of the street and my mood is great, sun is shining brighter too. I do some sort of bounce where I float and remain mid air and then gently float up. Very pleasant feel. I come near this tree with very small bipinnate leaves (possibly closest to honey locust tree, but with thicker leaves), it looks very beautiful. I'm starting to lose height so wonder if I should use the nearby thin end of the branch to hold on to, but with the delicate tree leaves this is not going to be very nice for the tree. I prefer not to do any mess on the tree even if a dream tree.

[mood change]

In the meantime, I see two female DCs that I identify as bitches down on the street. My attention is directed at them, I want to and then do something to one of them. I briefly wonder why the hell do I have these desires with those bitches, one of them looks a bit like Rachel Weiss. Luckily, even after what I have done, I manage to control my impulse and don't get a sexy feeling. I think about my tasks again. I am now in what reminds me of my school but the building is kind of shifty/unstable. I think that maybe I should summon my dad and he will drop me off the palace. The dream fades.

Date: 08 Jan

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, around 34 mg caffeine

I'm quite sleepy and resist waking myself too much, but still try to stay as awake as possible while in bed, repeating mantras and goals. I fall asleep with some long deep REM rebound.

DILD: It's a very long dream where me and parents get ready for a trip. Then I meet a DC that feels like a kindred sprit, I am eager to discuss with him possible solutions to a problem we both have.

A few moments later, I realize that this is a dream and remember my goals, freeze water and go fishing. The guy disappears somewhere. I am walking in what looks like a park and as I think about the task, I see that there are large puddles of water all around. Initially, I try to use them for the task even though they are too shallow and begin freezing them by willing it as well as by placing my hands down over one of them, where while they freeze, they emanate coldness and there's a cool mist effect lifting from the puddles! But then I realize this isn't going to work for the task and walk a bit further where there's a much larger and deeper body of water, like a pond.

I will the water to turn to ice, but to my surprise nothing happens. This annoys me. I contemplate whether to just get on the water as if it is frozen, but am uncertain if it will work, if I continue to expect to sink if I step on it. In the meantime, the water finally freezes. When I look at the surface, I see that part of it begins to melt already and dig with my hands in the softened ice to make a hole. This happens quite easily with no discomfort from the cold. There's some coldness, but it's ok, since I didn't think about it too much. I put my hands through the hole, reaching as far as I can and expecting to run across a catch.

I wait for a while but there's nothing around them and it gets kind of creepy what might be lurking in the darkness below the ice. In the area that's partially covered with ice, I can now see a number of small fish swimming around and succeed in catching one. It is a small tropical butterfly type fish but silver and red. As I hold it, my bf appears next to me and I tell him to take a picture, which I so much wish I could bring to rl, but before he can take the pic, the fish escapes.

I become so happy that have completed the task, I lose lucidity and begin to tell the dream to myself. After a while, I realize the dream is still going. Now I'm on the street in some neighborhood, there is an unconscious movement from my part and I end up floating in mid air, slightly above the ground, very stable though. I correctly recall this feeling from many dreams I had and exclaim to myself that taking off isn't as difficult as I have thought (previously irl). This is a good opportunity to practice a bit of flying and I do some flight manipulation, where I try to think of the direction and my body flies well in that direction. Then I try to take a turn and go in the opposite direction, but it doesn't quite work.

More rather random movements mid air and then I fly high up near a tall residence building, where I climb the last three stories using my hands. I somehow take a step back (see the building from a distance, although I am at the level of the third to last story). A black dotted panther on the balcony catches my attention. It looks kind of small, but actually it is the right size compared to the balcony and the stuff around it. The whole building seems small as if I am looking at it from a distance, yet I am very close to it. I briefly pay attention to that, but then wonder no more. There is a dalmatian in the apartment with the panther and I just so love exploring people's places, like in many non-lds. On the balcony below is a centipede, a very long one, apparently the same size as the panther (fits the balcony lenght). It doesn't look very appealing and I see two more on different balconies, I become vaguely aware that I am causing the one-many effect.

At some point I discarded the idea of going for Toty, because I thought the dream might end, but since it's still going, I decide to give it a try. Somehow, I go down to the ground and begin exploring a dream version of a familiar street. The bus station is here, only residential buildings, some larger buildings appear, but nothing that looks like a palace. I head towards the larger buildings that seem suitable and try to think that one of them is a palace. It starts to change, more and more detail is added and it becomes a flashy top notch casino. I still believe I could change it to a palace by trying to add a few columns at the entrance, but just increase the level of detail/casino quality.

I move on to the next building's entrance, which I recognize as some sort of amusement area. There's a distant dream memory also at work. Since I don't feel I'll get anywhere further with the palace, I eagerly get in, looking forward to having some fun. At this point I remember a dream where I took a super cool ride at a place that looked like this and become very excited. The lobby of the place where they sell the tickets is visitor empty, there's just the guy that sells the tickets, a girl that will ride with me and a male DC. The tall male DC next to my right is accompanying me to the cashier and I get a number of false memories and begin to have romance thoughts about him.

The DC at the desk gives me weird instructions of how to properly hold to the cart and my behavior while next to the girl that's also taking the ride. She is new, so I have to be careful. Bla bla, my lucidity level is dropping. I go to the girl and we wait to be let in to the ride but the dream finally fades and I wake up.

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Early fragment: something good about a DV member and lds

Dream: me and parents are living in a street shop that is a house. The place also reminds me of a cheap hotel room. I complain about all of us having to share the toilet. I want to do the laundry before we go out. The neighborhood is very bad too.

Fragment: mom wants to play golf because she can't wait for me on fridays?

Fragment: I am examining a large bullet that has been fired already and wonder if it can be used again. Some guys are after me, I run to the top of the building.

late-WBTB&WILD: As I am falling asleep, I expect to see a scene form in the darkness and think about my hands. I appear on a dark street, make a few movements to properly get in and stabilize and then my body begins to float up. I decide to control the flight and will myself to fly up but reach a certain height maybe about two floors high and the float/flying stops and I slowly go down. I wonder why's that and try again with the intention of going to the roof of the building this time. I float up but the dream ends and I need to get up too.

Date: 31st Aug

Pre bed: 200mg valerian, calcium&magnesium

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Comments: The night started not so well, as our guest was leaving and traveling in the middle of the night. No, we are not vampires.

Early mini-ld fragment (+2hrs): I am in our family friends' building, it is dark at night and I am running from the thought of something like an alien that can't be beaten up. As I go up the stairs, the last floor keeps on changing. I become lucid but still involved with the dream, I try to figure a way out of the situation. Our family friends (she and him) also appear up there and there are some thoughts of realization? about them and talking. She then says something rude to me that I wonder how to post on DV.

I wake up, still holding the memory of the dream in my mind, at that time fully accessible, but I soon fall asleep. I am woken up by our guest's alarm and we all get up, I have a very hard time falling asleep later. I go into unmemorable sleep for hours.

Fragment: I am angry and break a coffee cup

Fragment: I think I was trying to hook to a dream since I recall doing some repetitive movements in the scene and then the dream fading and I briefly acknowledge this in bed.

Pre ld fragment: I am about the witness a heartbreaking family reunion scene

Pre ld dream: We are in the tram/bus and this woman gives us some brochures with specific info about a female criminal. Nobody knows what this is about just me and my friend. Later on, I am in our old place and want to discuss the stuff with possibly my mom. However, before I do that, a classmate of mine gets me alone in another room, insisting to know what's this all about. I tell him I have no idea and get out the room. I see that he has some spy sound amplifying equipment and I go to my room and look for a some paper to write to mom that he is listening to us. He is also lurking behind the door. I grab a notebook and try to hide it from him.

LD: I am on the street in front of our old home and as I look around, realize this is a dream. I decide I would try to speed fly down the street. I take off and fly at high speed, but the street is not quite straight and I initially have difficulty taking a turn and get off track, then do a bit of maneuvering slightly similar to turning while swimming and am fast flying on the street again. It feels great but the only problem now is I move faster than my expectations so it's a bit uncertain what's in front of me. The street changes to facilitate that and now all I can see is trees on both sides moving closer together and I aim to fly straight in the center of all this.

I slow down, pass through the trees and end up facing something like a lake in the middle of an unknown neighborhood. I briefly wonder whether this would count for summon for the competition. There are houses and buildings to the left. I fly over the lake, feeling as if I am running out of fuel and try to land near the houses/buildings. There is a tall wall that separates them from the lake and I am looking for the right spot. I barely make it to the top of the wall with flying near a house that I like. I take a moment to relax and think about my next steps. The place where I have landed is not part of the wall anymore, but is the top of some structure, as if I am sitting on a chimney. I also perceive this thought as the image of the shadow of me on top of this place, right in front of me. The idea that I get rid of my human shape and jump/float ahead comes to mind.

Before I do anything, I take a look around and see that now am standing on an old bridge where there are the remains of large elephant statues in Indian style as part of the structure. They are extremely beautiful, decorations carved in the stone. I look at another one in front of me and see a date 1995, try to memorize it and as I stare at it the 5 changes into 7. I feel it's not a very good idea to keep staring like this as this may destabilize the dream. I remember CL's tech of boosting dream vividness and want to do that and enhance stability as well. I turn around and now there is a small elephant statue in front of me, so I run fingers on its surface and pat the stone a few times.

Right behind the elephant statue is a street that leads to a small plaza with yet another magnificent statue that I am not sure of what but there is an element that looks like wings with bits of gold on the edges/wing waves. There are lots of kids on the street, I notice they are dark skinned, assume they are Indian. A little girl with short hair and present day clothes comes to me and I decide I will engage in a conversation with her and concentrate as much as possible on that and her features (as if rl). She looks at me smiling, one of the happiest DCs I have ever seen. There is something about that little girl which fills me with both joy and sadness and I ask her "Is this where souls live?", she says yes and goes on that I also live here with her and shows me a building (perhaps close to Italian city style) to my right. She says we live together on the first floor. I am not sure I like living on the first floor, but accept this at the moment as I am very curious to see where I live.

The dream ends and I find myself in bed, contemplating whether to try a DEILD but my nose itches plus I am not very sure I want to mess up this memory. Time to wake up...

Dinner: included 3 eggs

Pre bed: 3mg mel

Total sleep time: 6 hrs, lots of insomnia

Early fragment: thinking about ld, this was one of these FA things where you remember a previous lucid then wake up and can't recall anything. Suspicious.

Fragment: I am in our first home and look at some expensive according to mom shoes that she has ordered from India for my aunt. Then she shows me a coat that she has bought. She tries the coat with a handbag and asks me if I like them. The handbag is very ugly and green.

Micro-ld: Near neighbor's entrance and I make place for some people to come in. There is a Japanese breed dog and it starts licking my palm, it licks and licks, I can't detach myself from it. When I finally do, it falls on the ground with a bound of sadness. I am thinking it got so much positive emotion out of licking, it now feels devastated. It tries to get to my hand again and I feel disgusted and want to wash. There are two-three girls, we are going up to wash, one of them is naked, but her breasts are not there, just weird nipples.

The dream skips forward and now we are in a large hall where people receive awards. The girl is part of four of the nominee teams, which are small island countries and Japan. A guy announces his name on the microphone. Then, I see a classmate of mine and wonder what the hell is she doing here. (She randomly appears in dreams). I decide to do a RC and stand up from my chair, saying RC and raising my hand to examine it in a very conspicious manner. My classmate looks at me and replies RC. This looks so nutty, I am fully convinced it's a dream. I can't recall much else, just that I decide to get out of there, but the dream fades and I am back in my bed. I lay still for a DEILD.

DEILD: I appear in an apartment at night in the shower cabin. In the dream I recall about me wanting to behave like this is real life and know that if I do that, it will stabilize the dream. Therefore, I do my best to pretend that this is real life, take a shower, examine the showerhead, carefully trying to simulate proximity to real life. I even use a towel to dry myself. I decide I want to visit my friend, but look in the mirror and see I am wearing only a short T-shirt. I certainly don't want to appear like this in front of him, if I think about my attire when meeting him, but decide it will change by itself as I go along. I have no clue where he lives irl, so decide to try to go to school and see if he is there.

Currently on the fourth- fifth floor, I hang on to the curtain and swing forwards, it elongates and transports me down perfectly. I am in our old neighborhood and need to walk to school although it's quite a risky idea. Slightly above the ground, I do the the curtain swing again, even though nothing is holding the curtain and I know that but don't care. It's pretty effective and I am going fast. I do my best to hold the image of the street as stable as possible. I pass quite a distance for a dream, curtain swinging at tree level, stepping on each tree as I end each swing. It is daytime now. :yumdumdoodledum:

At the end of the street, the trees and buildings begin to lose shape and become a white flowing background. I slow down a bit and the street is back again. I reach a small garden and notice a large war memorial that is not there irl, but the place still looks kind of familiar.

Then, as I move forward, I interrupt my concentration of holding the dream/images and think that CL flies a lot and that maybe that would have been a better option, since I am taking too much dream time. Yet, I reply to myself, that would involve imagining flying over the specific area I need to go and may actually be harder for me. These thoughts take just a moment, yet this is enough for my control over the scene to wane and the scene in front of me changes. It is a smooth change, but it is no longer where I am supposed to be going. I try to go back and change it to the specific location, by turning my back on it and checking it again. It changes again but now it's like a totally different city with an old castle up on the hill. I feel saddened I am not going to make it to my friend and take a turn to the left.

The street changes again and is now a familiar one from my hometown and it leads to school too. Among the crowd, I notice a very unpleasant person from rl and a pain in ass in non-lds. Her eyes look very lively and I feel her aggression. She also says something that's supposed to be irritating to me and I can hear her voice quite well, even though she is not that close. I don't pay attention to what exactly she says but can clearly smell trouble. I wonder how did she appear here among the crowd of DCs walking down the street, I didn't think about her. I begin to worry about her but turn my back, reminding myself that if you don't think about it, it doesn't exist. Yet, I can still feel her presence behind me. I speed up, now flying low above the ground. She is behind me and I feel an upcoming confrontation that I prefer to avoid, so I wake myself up.

I take brief notes and end up with insomnia.

Fragment: I am in a room and there are masks that one wears underwater, but they don't really exist irl. Bf and dream friends come in the room and we talk about something. The water has been running so I turn it off, then this girl looks at where all the water has been going, somewhere underground. There are huge fish there and also normal ones, they expect to be given food.

Fragment: something about bf's mom and food, there are poppy flowers nearby.

LD Fragment: This was a nice, average to long ld, but mostly remember the last part of it as I involuntarily fell back asleep.

I don't feel well, nasty pain, I stop and ask these DCs to tell me what is wrong with me. Something about their appearance strikes me as odd, so I become lucid. I think I ask them how to get better or something.

No memory what happens next, I have been doing stuff in this apartment, talking to DCs, free-styling.

I remember looking myself in a mirror and noticing that I look really nice. I like my dream make up very much and try to memorize it so that I put it the same way irl. I also have some thoughts about trying to manipulate my body in a certain way and see if there is an effect irl.

I go to another room and look at the cupboard, notice a beautiful china milk jug with blue decorations but feel mischievous, so decide to use TK to make it fall down. It falls on the floor and then gets on the the chair in front of me, broken in two. Now, I feel sad and want to repair it. I also think it will be a cool skill to repair things and even have a false memory of repairing something. I try to fit the pieces together and hold them, but it doesn't work. I hear a buzzing sound and me and DCs in the room see some sort of a wasp, maybe twice the normal size and completely brown and shiny. I decide it's time to get out of there and head for the window. There is a beige mosquito net on the window and I try to phase through it but meet some resistance. I remind myself that I can do it and push forward. The net stretches a bit and finally I pass through and fall/fly down.

This part was very pleasant but I don't recall all of it. Basically, I end up flying low over a yard that transforms to meadow with different wild flowers, mostly yellow ones, as the late September sun shines down on the meadow. Absolute beauty and I remain with the scene for as long as I can until the dream finally fades.

Fragment:I end up in another dream for a brief while, making profane gestures with hands.

Woke up happy, fell asleep again, had another short dream I can't recall. Then woke up very worried as I had forgotten the most of the last ld.

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Pre bed: nada

Dream quality and recall: average vividness, deep sleep and challenging recall

Comment: there was an increase in emotions during daytime, which is evident in the dream as well.

Early fragment: some story about dreaming and accounting for lds

Dream: I am waiting for the train, then get on it. A friend of mine is supposed to sit next to me but goes in the other carriage instead. I am taking my shoes off, white socks. The guy next to me is already asleep. Then the perspective changes and I see four of them - friends dining together (without me). I become enraged and show them the finger. They raise their glasses and so do I. My shirt now has wine stain that I try to clean with a cloth, but the cloth is dirty so it gets worse. Then I remember that I can use bread and ham to clean it, just like my dad did. I also take a bite out of my "detergent".

Fragment: A girl from my class is attracted to me and is kissing me. Later the class meets and I have some concerns about her kissing me in front of others. (I don't even like her irl)

WBTB (+had some anxiety thoughts initially)

Mini-ld: I have a FA at home with the person I was thinking about in the beginning of the WBTB. He irritates me and I become angry shouting at him. I realize this is a dream (I read something about karma and emotions during dreams yesterday). My anger vanishes and I make a remark about this. I go on to leave the building. Unfortunately, I don't remember if I phased or how I got outside, just that I was trying to fly down. So I am on a balcony or window and want to fly down the way the girl does in the end of Crouching tiger Hidden dragon, slowly. I succeed in controlling the speed of the flying till I reach the ground, then I go up again. I think I woke up soon after that.

No notes, went back to sleep.

Mini-ld fragment: I am in an unfamiliar room and there is a man in front of me and suddenly I shout at him my anxiety thoughts. Again, I realize this is a dream, I am quite happy I was able to catch this again. I apologize, the man smiles. Unfortunately, I can't recall anything else, the dream ends with the void. I shortly try to summon Angel Falls, but the position which I am imagining myself is making me feel uncomfortable. The images fade away.

Mini-ld: I am on the street but feel like my dream control is not working very well because everybody is walking towards me daringly. A dog charges at me and I start some sort of thought/control manipulation to stop it, but in the end grab it and put it on my shoulder/head and neutralize it. Three female DCs are bothering me, I have no idea what they want. I remember I can escape from them by flying, so I fly just a bit above them. However, they can still reach me and I am coming down against my will. I only know one other way to deal with them and ask them if this is what they want. They say yes and I rip one of the girls' clothes off. I wake up before any censure is necessary.

Fragment: Thus guy I know is giving an interview for the newspaper