NyxCC

Wbtb: I drag myself out of bed, drink a bit of latte (40?mg) and take lecitin, go straight back to bed trying to cut corners on staying awake. There is like zero effect on increasing my wakefulness but feeling guilty to be skipping my wbtb I keep waking up (yet still feel drowsy). I spend the remaining sleep time in a NREM limbo, a mix of deep sleep, HI and constant wakes.

There is a brief scene where I realize that am already in and start walking around but I either lose lucidity or wake up shortly after.

Keep turning and tossing annoyed that I just don't have the right wakefulness as I didn't do my wbtb. I repeat my goals and try to concentrate on my body.

I find myself staring at some screen ascertaining that I am in the dream. Everything is very unstable at this point so I just keep swiping the screen in front of me, pretending to be involved in the dream for a few seconds. When I feel I'm ready, I move to the side, which reveals that I am in my old room again. This is a bit annoying as I wanted to do the valentine card task, so I head towards the window. There is some furniture, slightly in the wrong place blocking the way. I close the cupboard door that blocks the way but it doesn't fully close and click and keeps opening. I just don't want to spend more time dealing with it, so I sneak forward while holding it then let it go. I go towards the balcony door which is closed and I try to open it via handle but it gets stuck. I decide to pull and it opens nevertheless. The action of opening this locked door produces a weird physical somewhat painful sensation in my body of resistance and as if the object is actually touching me (bearing some resemblance to phasing sensations).

I go outside and look around. I see the flowers and wonder could I be really dreaming? It looks very realistic and close to memory but is it possible that I still live here? Initially there are no DCs in sight which pisses me off due to the task I had in mind. I have to jump again but am almost certain that a quick jump or even a slow climb down can mess with stability at this point (due to quick change of perspective and reduction in tactile sensations). I look down and see one of the two sisters. She looks nasty as usual. I recall some contemplations about dealing with people from real life in dreams and decide to be honest with her. "Hey, you know what? You are really annoying"

After that I have no more desire to talk to her and contemplate going back inside to look for people within a reaching distance (I also wonder if I should just summon one here). The dream thins out.

I do a quick review, pissed off that I couldn't find any people, then continue with my limbo sleep.

After the nth turning and tossing, I find myself in another dream. It's a bright day and I am on a very distorted version of my old street. I immediately recognize it's a dream (awareness, no trigger). There is a middle aged woman with colorful knitted clothes and I remember the valentine card task. Very aggressively and without saying anything, I expect her to produce a card for me. She holds a number of items like banknotes, little pieces of paper, etc, that I browse but nothing looks like a V-card. Disappointed, I leave her and go down the street where I see bf and one of our friends. They look invitingly at me and I quickly go to where they are and ask bf if he has a V card for me. Alas, he coldly cuts me off "No." I think about how my expectations could have influenced his answer.

Bf and the other guy continue down the street. I catch up and try again "Are you sure you don't have a V card for me? I clearly remember you were carrying one!" This seems to do the trick and he hands me the V card. I examine it to see it has a number of Chinese characters on top and some almost normal words below them. There are a few love related words that are arranged like a short poem. As I try to read the words keep changing. I even hold the card from a distance to see if this would make a difference. I remember our brain actually doesn't need to read the entire word to make out the meaning.

Bf is still here and I say to him while wondering if he could possibly be dreaming too. "The words keep changing, see? Do you know why that is? It is because it's a dream."

I wake up.

Almost skipped wbtb, but woke up had around 80 mg caffeine double espresso, 500mg lecithin and spent some time reviewing the goals but not too much.

I feel some pressure in the bladder and make a note that preferably need to go before lds start. I'm in the process of falling asleep and I begin to see this picture more clearly, it's useless as a scene (drawn face open mouth), but just concentrate on it to focus, it begins to move inside like a tunnel. Scene change ethereal layer, running backwards, then new scene.

Finally, a bed scene, very realistic and with full body, got integrated in the body really fast, ready to move, carefully get up from bed. Move around a bit. My old room, head towards the balcony. Old doors, closed but not locked, open them. I go outside, it's magical. The sun is shining, the sky is clear blue, very vivid colors. I can feel the warmth of the sunshine and also hear a happy song coming from far away. The change in colors and light from the darkness in bed the moment before is impressive. I can also feel a very pleasant breeze and notice the plants to my side and remember one of my goals to interact with them. The dream thins out and I wake up.

I pay a short visit to the bathroom and review the dream.

Soon after I fall asleep, find myself back into our old place again. This time I face a dark room but decide to go inside. There is a sofa right in front of me and I roll it over, thinking super strength it becomes very light. Beneath it another sofa covered with clothes. I recall my clean up goal (try to bring order into ld, see what happens) and start throwing clothes to the sides, cleaning up the sofa of objects. Some more appear but I am almost done, finally I sweep the last clothes to the side and just observe if anything will happen (but with blank mind). The dream thins out.

I find myself in the living room of the same place, parents here walking around, we talked about something (rather made some comments). Everything is super vivid, bright and colorful again although the definition of objects not as good, rather blurry. I walk around the room and look at as many objects and furniture as possible, noting how orderly this room is. Everything seems at the right place and the furniture is more or less the same. The only objects not quite from this room originally are a buddhist medallion and a large chunk of amethyst crystal on the floor. I tk it up and dad catches it.

I recall the storm task and head towards the balcony. I'm thinking, ok, how am going to change the weather which is bright and sunny as can be perceived inside the room to bad weather. By the time I reach the window, the sky is fully covered in clouds and it's already raining. Well, that's quite convenient and I take a moment to think how my thought manifested so quickly. The only thing I need right now is some wind and I want to add a few tornadoes too. I stare at the horizon which brings the memory of many storms and alien invasion dreams and this facilitates the creation of more stormy conditions. I tell dad to help me with this, more as an act of self assurance, then twist the clouds a bit till I form a tornado and another one just next to it. I look to the side and see a huge one has appeared very close to where we are now. I think briefly about this, then the dream fades.

I find myself back in my old room, thinking that I've been having all my dreams in our old place today. Mom and dad are still here too, they come and start hugging me while I'm watching our reflection in the window. I remember the candy store task and decide it's time to leave the building, heading over the balcony. Mom is overly concerned about this but I go ahead and stretch/climb down and then jump the last part of the distance. Some slight instability but the dream is still here. I walk around and move my eyes from object to object trying to simulate and stimulate REM as I feel the dream slipping away. I think about where I am headed, my instinct is to go to where there are some stores down the street, though that feels too far for me to make it. I wonder if just turning right the other corner wouldn't be a better idea. Still decide for the original stores. All this contemplation leads to the place changing and something that looks like a street pops up where there isn't one, I examine it to see if there are any stores but it's more like residential buildings.

I continue down the street where there are some scary looking guys with guns. There is another group fighting them, later the two groups mix. The whole street changes and while I'm trying to evade them I lose lucidity.

Wake. Review.

Other dreams I can't recall. Short ld moment where I watch my reflection this time in a tv. I make myself float up in the air and then plank while floating. My reflection does the same, perhaps even better than me. I'm excited because I realize that I am also manipulating my reflection's movements.

Pre bed: lecithin

Pre wbtb dreams: vivid but didn't write down when natural wakes so forgot

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

It was very hard to convince myself to do a wbtb as I was feeling so nice and sleepy. The lds were interrupted so my memory is a bit hazy for all details.

I miss the transition and a dream starts.

LD [summary]: In a dream version of my school and class starts. I become lucid and decide to do my location experiments [go from one place to another or as far as possible without the world changing]. After opening a door after door after door, I finally manage to leave the room and continue down a very distorted corridor, then struggle to maintain the building as is. The dream interrupts a few times/blindness. I get out of the building but unexpectedly teleport in front of our old place. Here I feel weirdly confident about being able to change the surroundings by simply turning around due to the high level of instability. Yet, it's against my initial goal, so I continue exploring the street with emphasis on proximity until the dream blacks out.

DEILD/or in dream chain:

I appear in the bathtub a bit uncertain about what's going on. Awareness increases and I move my hands around to stabilize, etc. What's interesting is that the bathtub is getting full of nice warm water that feels quite similar to rl. There is also music coming from somewhere, I assume it's my dream tablet. Still a bit confused about which dream goals I was supposed to be doing, I conclude that it is perfectly fine for me to just relax in the bathtub and listen to the music. The song sounds like depeche mode and in the dream I know the song and chorus lyrics. I chill out and listen to about half the length of the song, where the lyrics are a bit gibberish and I also don't know them, but once the chorus comes, I confidently sing with it. Also, at the end mentally manage to increase the volume of the invisible tablet for an ever better sound. [Post dr: have no memory which Depeche mode song this was or what those lyrics I knew were, it may be possible I came up with a different song altogether!]

There's a blackout/dream end and possibly I wait as in deild for the dream to continue.

The next moment, I'm back in the bathtub examining my hands and wondering what's going on. Minor confusion but then I mentally fill the bathtub with warm water again and pay attention to the sensation. I think about the dream length and conclude not to worry as I probably have caught a long rem rebound. Finally remember a task - easter egg and remind myself I can summon one. I close my hands and try to produce an easter egg - something egg-like comes into existence, with decorations and stuff, possibly plastic. It then undergoes changes and becomes completely transparent. This kind of defeats the purpose of the task since I'm supposed to open it and I try the summon again. Once more I get some strange transparent plastic foil egg with cool colored pics on the surface and another transparent plastic egg inside. I think this is like a balloon and wonder about it being ok for the task. As I examine the pics for the journal I notice that the inside egg has now colored pictures of balloons on the surface and the outside egg some disney characters like Mickey and Pluto. I think at this point the dream fades again and I end up mid way to wake.

DEILD/or in-dream chain:

Memory gap but I'm now in my old room and remember the next task - to come up with a new plant. I approach the window and see a plant whose foliage already looks weird, the leaves are similar to pelargonium but more curled. I decide to add random red fruit there, getting a mini-mental image but this doen't change the plant accordingly. There are two plants now, and without touching them and using mind, I start to twist their leaves and stems into all sorts of shapes, trying to create some sort of different plant. In the meantime flowers appear on one of the plants - two different types but they are almost drying now. More manipulation until in the end the plant turns into a smaller plant, mix of an orchid and violet. I think about the size then conclude this experiment in botanics is enough.

I then recall the tornado task and look out the window, thinking about one. The sky is gray and a tornado appears in the distance. It does look quite large and menacing and I briefly give in to paranoia, wondering whether I should hide since it is coming in my direction. Then I look at the opposite part of the sky and see that another one has formed. Two tornadoes, task complete and my mind is off the paranoia. Since this task is in line with my improve element manipulation goal, I wonder what else can I do here and decide that the thing to do would be to get rid of the clouds and tornadoes.

I go out on the balcony and focus on a tiny area of the sky that is blue and hold my hands up as if I'm stretching the blue sky gap, then decide to use the cover with hands tech to continue, covering the entire sky with my hands but for the gap of blue sky, so that the only thing I see and perceive is the blue sky (thus making me think of only blue sky). Allow a short while to pass, then move my hands away to see that the sky is indeed clearing up and is mostly nice blue sky. There are a few completely black clouds in one corner which I find interesting. Thinking about more element manipulation, I want to do something to the other clouds now - rearrange the sky again. I pick up a tiny white cloud and try to stretch it to the sides with my fingers (not really touching it) but end up actually holding a tiny piece of cloud in my hand.

I contemplate what else to do, might as well do the zoom task finally. Look to the other side of the balcony, where I see the neighbors' kid and his grandma and try to pick up a spot to zoom into. I look at a spot that will not be a too drastic scene change and point out to it, saying something like I want to be there. Nothing happens, but I see a second transparent but colored layer of my finger while pointing. The kid says something meaningful, giving me the impression of a smart DC so I think about interacting with him, also mentally remind myself not to lose my lucidity when doing so. The dream ends, back in bed and waiting for a bit but nothing more happens.

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.