side notes

My recall has been has been so weird. I haven't drank nearly as much as I normally do, but still it's been on again, off again. My dreams have been really boring as well. Well as far as the fragments I've remember. I haven't written them down because they were so mundane. I think the source of the change has be attested to the fact that I'm no longer trying to dream share with Kaomea. Whenever took a break from sharing, or tried to start over again, I'd have a huge drop in recall. I think I need to get back to dreaming for myself again, and see what happens.

So from time to time, I dream of this epic chick I've grown to call "HER". She always seems more sentient than other DC's. She always has my back no matter what, and even when I'm lucid, she still seems to maintain all of her qualities. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that she's just a part of me that comforts me when I need it. I don't think she's some special DC, but I do think that she's a girl because of my whole single ordeal, and I'd probably feel more comfortable with a girl than anyone else. Generally she's a blonde chick (I really don't like blonde girls at all, but lately, I've been coming across them) who's just straight up and honest with me. Obviously I see a lot of myself in her, so maybe that's where it comes. Even though she pops up at times of need, and warning in my life, I refuse to chalk it up to that. I think that there's more to just emotions carrying over to dreams.

updated "she loves me not" and desire....links were dead.

Also had some dream about H being upset with me...no matter what I did or how much I apologized, it didn't matter.

two episodes of SP....

I think the first could have been the transition....because I didn't feel anything, and I just sat there and broke out of it.


Second time....it was a different story.


I couldn't move...all I could do is open my eyes. And when I did, I saw i was looking at the wall, and black objects were coming through it and heading towards me. They looked like spirits.....or something, and I was just trying to tell myself no one of this was real, but I didn't want to give in because it felt like I couldn't breath at all. Once I broke out of it, I couldn't get back to sleep...my heart was racing heavily.

Was actually ready for it last night but nothing happened when it was over...my guess is I should have just tried getting up and RCing.

In other news I had a dream my pops was off killing snakes.

I remember dreaming about D....he was using an Iphone......then I'm in my bed. I can't move. I try fighting it by moving one arm....it's moving. I focus on the next arm...it's moving as well. Then all of a sudden, both arms are where they started. In reality, they haven't moved an inch. In fact, the only thing that has moved are my eyes. They're open, and I've stopped hallucinating about weird stuff....I can see my actual room at this point. I try it again, and wake up. And yes...my room and the position looks exactly the same.

On that note, I need to start relaxing again whenever iI get SP...I feel like a noob again almost. I've missed a ton of LD's because of it.

I remember dreaming about D....he was using an Iphone......then I'm in my bed. I can't move. I try fighting it by moving one arm....it's moving. I focus on the next arm...it's moving as well. Then all of a sudden, both arms are where they started. In reality, they haven't moved an inch. In fact, the only thing that has moved are my eyes. They're open, and I've stopped hallucinating about weird stuff....I can see my actual room at this point. I try it again, and wake up. And yes...my room and the position looks exactly the same.

On that note, I need to start relaxing again whenever iI get SP...I feel like a noob again almost. I've missed a ton of LD's because of it.

Man.....past days just been going through SP every freaking night. Most recent one felt like a giant hand was on me. Been interrupted on my dreams too. Recall is kinda garbage....the only thing I remember was something about Kingdom Hearts last night.