Thread: Tell Me About The Reasons (Deep) For Being Jealous

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

That's not jealousy - that's envy. Jealousy is when you get all paranoid and suspicious that your partner is getting too friendly with other people. Is that the situation you're talking about Undead?

Nope, it's envy then.

I'd say in both cases - jealousy and envy - it comes down to possessiveness. Wanting to posses a person or something another person has that you don't - an object or a quality they have. The desire to possess it for yourself is the cause of the problem.

Yes, that is it. My mother is quite possessive, I've heard. So, how could I deal with that?

Jealousy comes down to insecurity and comparing yourself against others. There will always be someone better and someone worse than you, if you compare. But there is no comparison of greatness. Who is a better guitarist: Jimi Hendrix or Jimmy Page? Who is a better artist: Salvador Dali or Van Gogh? Neither, each is great. Each is perfect in what they do. Greatness cannot be compared, only mediocrity.
Be great at who you are, and don't compare yourself with others. Alan Watts has a book called "The Wisdom of Insecurity". I never read it, but I love the title. Insecurity is wise. The only security for the wise person is in insecurity. Don't be afraid to be insecure. Embrace insecurity and don't compare, be great, and don't be jealous.

That seems like another approach, totally. Like, stop resisting insecurity. Well, thanks a lot, will search for the book if I don't forget.

As if: Would Jimmy Page really be as great if he was worrying about Jimi Hendrix? No! He didn't worry.

Also, I think the book might be about something spiritual or religious, I don't know if it has anything to do with jealousy, it is just the title that stuck out.

You see, people are insecure about being insecure. They try to hide that they are insecure, which is just silly. Did you ever have a friend who was really open about his insecurities and shared them with everyone and laughed at their own insecurities with everyone. It disarms the insecurities. Whatever we hide, we suppress into our own being, and it grows. Whatever we openly show and share, grows weaker. Too many people hide their insecurities and only show a facade of confidence. Then their insecurites grow and their confidence dwindles. Whatever you plant within you is the seed that grows. Hide your confidence and show your insecurity. Then you will find that there is nothing to be afraid of in your insecurity, there is nothing to be jealous of. YOur confidence will grow within you.