Control is most easy when you're not lucid: since you aren't aware that it's a dream or that the laws of physics exist, you just follow through and exercise control without any problems (in most dreams). But don't convince yourself that control needs to be different in your lucid dreams! I'm sure that the attention that you've been giving to it will make things just as easy
Like you said, reality checks are a great help, but I'd say go ahead and dig deep into the questioning of your state. You want to take your time to see if you're lucid, to prevent any chances that something in the dream distracts you. This is sadly only a matter of practice, so the work is on you. But at the same time, you will be able to recall this same issue that you've related and think about your intention. Visualize before going to bed (and several times a day if possible as well) your intent of becoming lucid, of stopping what you're doing and ask yourself what are you doing there, why, how, when. You seem to have an excellent control so once you solve the problem of being more self-aware, the lucid dreams will start to appear regularly. Good luck!
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