I don't think obsessing is a bad thing as long as you don't get yourself disappointed over not having a lucid dream when you don't have one. Excessive want is only unfavorable if you think it affects you negatively in some way, because for others it could be just what they need. Some use their obsession to keep them focused and motivated to help them get what they want (that being a lucid dream). If you think your obsession is not something that will help you, then I'd suggest you just take it easy for a while. That does not mean drop lucid dreaming all together, just tone it down. Keep up your dream journal and reality checks and maybe add 15 minutes of meditation before bed into your routine to get yourself more relaxed and focused.
Now, trying too hard is no good. This is a practice that requires you to be relaxed, and trying too hard usually means you're stressing out over it. This, added in with your statement of "I've tried just about everything" tells me that you are just like what I used to be like not too long ago. I got back into lucid dreaming full swing and started going crazy with all the methods and techniques and every single last thread, video, or website with all that information on there I could find. I wanted to do everything all at once, but that was completely overwhelming, which lead to a month long dry spell because I couldn't handle it. Basically, I over thought everything, when all I needed to do was relax and stick to one single consistent plan.
So that is what I'm going to suggest to you. You need to throw that load of papers in the air and only pick up the important ones. Relax, figure out which method you like the most and stick with it. To give you an idea, I'll tell you what I do. I write a dream journal entry (usually only when I feel like it or have an interesting dream, but don't follow in my footsteps on that), do a ton of reality checks throughout the day and question whether or not I'm dreaming (I plug my nose and try to breathe through it, that reality check works the best in dreams for a lot of people), at night I meditate for a little while (10-15 minutes) and repeat the good ol' mantra "I will have a lucid dream tonight," and I like to plan out what I want to do when I become lucid. There are details involved with it, but those are details that you should figure out for yourself personally, as I had to do because there are just some things you can't tell other people, it's hard to explain. The point of this is that you have to stick with it and not change it, because trying everything and not giving each method its time to work for you isn't going to help, especially since you said yourself that you are desperate.
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