A few thoughts and suggestions....
Treat people right in both your dreams and in real life. I think what happens in your dreams does have a small effect on other people, and a much larger effect on you.
It is possible to tell someone about something that will happen and it still happens. Other people have experienced what you say though, that it happens easier if you don't tell anyone.
I think the premonitions are more of a type of synchronicity than they are 'seeing the future', if that distinction seems to make any sense. The point isn't to predict events so much as to relate different thoughts that are worth thinking about together. Or maybe I don't have any idea what the point is, but I think that what I just said is closer to the truth than the 'seeing the future' thought. The events that happen during the day are symbolic too, just like the dream images they are related to.
I think that trying to control the external world with your mind is like trying to stop a car with your hand. Best outcome you lose your hand. Your mind has a relationship with the external world, but you have to flow with it, affecting it subtly such as through the choices you make about what you care about.
For me, the premonitions are all connected somehow with other people's thoughts. When I have the premonition, I am me but also someone else a little bit. Maybe if you explore that, you can find other people in your mind a bit more. Like I said at the beginning, its important to have the right thought about other people though. Otherwise people try to protect themselves from each other by shrinking away and putting walls up, and then everyone is alienated and unhappy. Its not right to rape someone with your mind by being in their mind in a way they don't want you there, however minor that rape may be.
Best wishes.
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