maboroshi

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was a bright, clear day. Charles Bronson lay on his back on a stone step or bench that felt like it was either the top bleacher section of some really tall stadium or some high point on a building.

Charles Bronson was naked except for a diaper, which he was currently wetting. A young, pretty blonde woman sat at Bronson's feet, waiting to change Bronson. From the look in her eyes she liked the fact that Bronson wore diapers and wet them.

Dream #2

A woman was on stage right before or at the beginning of an event like the Oscars. She gave a short speech and then said that the announcer for the show would be out to present in one moment.

The stage and the theatre seemed really large while the woman had been speaking. I had seen everything from a far back, high up row. But now, as the woman left the stage through a door to the left, my view followed her. The woman walked out into a fluorescent lit hallway. I turned back to look in at the theatre. The place looked really small.

My view was back inside the theatre, as if hovering just above the people in the first rows. A kind of old man walked in through the door through which the woman had left. The man may have made some comment about seeing the people in the back row. So he put a telescope to his eye. But he put the wrong end of the telescope to his eye.

I could already tell that the guy was going to make some kind of gag about how it seemed like the people in the back row were really far away or how it was like everybody in the audience looked really small or something like that. I kind of didn't want to hear such a groaner.

But the guy seemed to be delaying this joke. All this time he had stayed halfway in and halfway out of the door. Now he shuffled sideways all the way into the theatre and up onto the stage. I assumed he would make his telescope joke once he was up on the stage.

Dream #3

I was laying on a couch, on my back. There was a window somewhere beyond my feet, letting in some grey naturaly light. Just beside the couch's arm on which my head was resting there may have been a bookshelf. I think I had my hands under my head.

A little girl with long, brown hair stood beside the couch. She wasn't wearing any clothes. She may have eventually crawled up on the couch to sit beside me. She told me, "I wish I had boobs."

I told her, "Be glad for the time being that you don't have boobs. Probably once you have them you'll think they're a real pain in the neck."

The little girl was now gone. There were a lot of people in the room now. I knew an older woman was coming to talk to me. I may even have heard her call for me. So I sat up and looked back.

The couch was apparently in some place like a cafe or a grocery store like Whole Foods. The room I was in was somewhat like a living room. But beyond this room there were food counters and display shelves running down a kind of narrow hall that I think opened into a bigger room.

There was a pretty full crowd of people, maybe men and women in their late twenties, looking around and shopping. From them I saw the woman, kind of short, skinny, with short, grey and black hair coming through the crowd. She asked, "What did you tell that little girl?"

I didn't think that anything I'd told the little girl was wrong. But I saw how it could be construed as wrong. I lay on my right side, shouting out something to the woman. I thoujght I had been telling the woman what I'd been saying to the girl. But at some point I realized I wasn't telling the truth at all. In fact, I was telling some kind of nonsense story that would look like I was trying to cover up what I'd said.

So now I really focused on what I was saying. I told the old woman (wherever she was), "I told the girl that she should be happy for the time that she doesn't have boobs. Because once she gets boobs it'll be a real pain in the neck. Because guys'll be chasing her all over the place."

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was at my office, sitting in my cubicle. My boss came up from behind me on my left side and asked me whether I had finished some work for him.

Apparently I was looking at some kind of online newspaper which had a photo on it depicting the Acts of the Apostles. My boss had wanted me to do some research on that book in the Bible, apparently.

I probably had not read the Acts of the Apostles. I might not even have quite understood what he'd wanted me to do. But he was disappointed in me. He kind of smirked at me and went into his office.

I kind of thought everything through and realized that my boss actually hadn't told me anything he'd wanted me to do. Why should he act mad at me? So I decided to go to his office and tell him that.

I went to my boss' office just as he was about to leave for some business trip. There was a short, pale man with pale blonde hair standing before my boss' office. The man was interviewing as a replacement for me. He was in a suit and he carried a briefcase. He wore glasses.

My boss had walked to the printer and was now walking toward and then past his office. I followed him all the way. We both seemed to have ignored the guy being interviewed.

I kept yelling at my boss, trying to get him to pay attention to me. But he just gave me this stone face, with eyes belying the fact that he was having a lot of fun watching me be so upset. We actually got into an elevator and went down to the first floor.

I yelled at my boss that if he wanted me to do something, he needed to tell me to do it instead of just assuming I could read his mind. He couldn't get mad at me for the fact that he never spoke to me.

The elevator doors opened. My boss walked out, still completely disregarding me. We were walking through an unfamiliar, but kind of nice, elevator bank. I got right in front of my boss and flipped him off, right to his face, right in front of his eyes. For some reason, the image reminded me of candle images reflected in eyeglasses.

My boss kept smirking and ignoring me. I thought, Geez! The only time I do something like this is when I'm drunk!

My boss was gone, and I was back in the elevator. As the elevator doors opened, I thought how it might be nice to do something like break my boss' leg. I had an image in my head of somebody's lower leg being broken.

I walked out of the elevator and into what was apparently an outdoor cafe. It was a blue night. There were tables everywhere. There was a makeshift barista counter at the back end. That was the only thing lit. Everything else was dark.

I saw some of my friends from college. They were talking and laughing about something like anime or j-pop. For some reason, I flew up into the air. As I did, I heard my friend B talking about a specific song.

I flew sharply up into the air and then turned and flew sharply back downward. I heard B singing a song. At first I didn't think he was singing the actual words. I thought he was just joking. But then I realized he was singing the actual Japanese words. I was pretty impressed!

I kept flying around. I flew at a level not too far above all the people in the cafe. I may just have been floating around, listening to everybody's conversations and having my own thoughts.

Dream #2

I was in a cafe I go to a lot, sitting on a couch. A pretty, blonde girl sat on the couch, at the other end. She may have seemed to be a little attracted to me. But I didn't worry about it, and I just did my own thing.

Then a pretty, black girl sat at a table near the couch. She seemed to want to sit on the couch. There was one more space left open, so I tried to make it clear with my body language that she could sit there.

The black girl sat on the couch. I noticed her knee-length skirt was really pretty. It was a nice shade of yellow, with some kind of quaint, pink embroidery on the lower right corner.

The girl moved all the way over to the blonde girl's part of the couch. The two shifted around so that they were resting their backs agaist the armrest of the couch. They stretched out their legs and began snuggling a bit. It was almost like they were in bed together.

The two girls started talking about something, some class or something. The blonde girl, sitting on the outer side, dropped a big textbook onto the floor. I somehow realized that the girls had wanted me to think they were both alone, so I'd try to pick one of them up, and then they'd reveal they were actually together to taunt me. But I hadn't tried to pick either of them up, so I wasn't really worried about it.

Good morning, everybody. These dreams probably all occurred in the early morning, maybe after 2:30 or 3 AM.

The first two dreams had a weird visual quality, as if I were reading them or half-reading them. I think this comes from the fact that last night I read Oe Kenzaburo's story "Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness, in which one of the characters is a boy who can't see very well.

The emotional difficulty the boy's father has with this and other things is so vivid that I think my unconscious tried to put me in that boy's position in one way or another.

Dream #1

I was half-reading and half-watching a story about a man and a woman at a hotel. The man was in danger, and the woman was trying to protect him. The man and the woman were both spies. The man had probably gotten caught in the act.

The woman had brought the man to the hotel for hiding. She may now have been explaining to the man that he was a spy. This may have come as a surprise to the man, who didn't actually want to be a spy.

The woman may then have made some sort of flirtatious gestures or comments to the man. The man may have understood that the woman wanted to have sex with the man while they were at the hotel. But the man didn't want to have sex. The woman may have, reluctantly, gotten the point, after which she turned to talking about some "serious" topic with the man.

Dream #2

I was reading an email from one of the bosses of my department, M. M's email was written in regular black text, except words and phrases that he wanted to emphasize, which were in bold and colored brown.

The first part of the email had to do with the fact that our larger company was getting to celebrate some royal wedding from a number of decades ago. An old, royal couple would be visiting the offices.

I could see the couple in my head, as if looking at a photograph from the late 1800s. They woman was dressed in a Victorian dress. The man was dressed in a military suit and medals.

M wrote that we had to treat the royal couple very nice because they were major investors in our company.

M's email then went on to say that M was going to be let go from the company in just a little while. He was going to stay on to make sure a couple of big events were taken care of. He wasn't bitter he was getting fired. He understood.

I now saw a tall, thin, old, white man in a lonely office hallway. The man stood before a copier that was set into a niche in the wall. The copier had a strange-looking top. It looked like some kind of animal trap, covered over in a metal shell and painted the same color of grey-beige as the copier.

I knew that, to make copies, you had to drop the papers onto the top of the strange device. The papers would then fall into the copier, as they would fall into a garbage can.

Dream #3

I had been in a room full of people, mostly women, doing some kind of small workshop or conference. The room had emptied out largely, with just a few people around. Now, even though I stood in the room still, it was like a number of months had passed since the conference.

I was looking for somebody to celebrate "the holiday" with. The holiday was like Christmas, but it wasn't Christmas. I asked a short woman if she would like to celebrate the holiday with me. She probably said she couldn't. But then she remembered that another girl, an Israeli girl, was looking for someone to spend the holiday with.

The Israeli girl called me on the phone. I could see the girl in my mind's eye. She was short, with olive skin, and long, black hair. I was really happy I was going to get to go out with her.

The Israeli girl told me something like there was no way she was going to be able to get back home "to West Tel Aviv" (I'm not sure if people make such an explicit distinction as "West Tel Aviv" in waking life). I thought of Tel Aviv and told the Israeli girl how much I wanted to go there. One of my favorite psychologists, Erich Neumann, spent the final years of his life there.

I told the girl something like she must hear people say stuff like that all the time. I told her it must get annoying to hear people talk about her home like it was so perfect, when it wasn't actually very easy at all to live there.

I (false) remembered a conversation I'd had with a woman from another country. The woman had told me about how naïve she thought some foreigners were. They'd say how much culture they thought her country had. But they didn't understand that it was really a scary place to live.

I was now in a big room, sitting on a couch so that my legs were propped up on the back and my back lay on the seat cushion. A pretty, blonde college girl stood before the couch. The girl was tall, thin, slim, and tan, with blue eyes. She wore a pink sweater and dark blue jeans.

The girl was giving a speech about different media-propaganda campaigns made by certain regions of the world to make other regions of the world look bad. She was giving a lot of really interesting examples. It sounded like dangerous information to have. But it also sounded like she was referencing Hollywood in almost every example.

I tried to pay closer attention to the girl's speech. But there were a bunch of girls getting up and leaving, walking between me and the girl and making such noise, talking with each other, that I couldn't get what the girl was saying. Her last example had something to do with New York carrying out a smear campaign against Chicago.

Other than the girl and I, there was only one woman now in the room. She was like a professor and like the girl's mother. She was working at a big desk off in the corner of the room.

The girl now flopped down on a couch near mine. We were something like good friends. But I was now really sexually aroused by her. So I rolled off the couch and crawled over to her couch.

For some reason, I asked the girl, "So now what are you going to do with you life?"

The girl's belly was a little exposed from under the sweater. I had intended to roll up and see if I could get away with snuggling with the girl on the couch. But, seeing the girl's belly and waistline, I just decided to stick my hand into the girl's jeans.

So I lifted up the girl'ls waistline and began feeling her. I was surprised to discover that the girl was wearing a baby's diaper. This didn't worry me too much. I moved my hand farther down toward the girl's crotch.

Suddenly the girl demanded, "What are you doing?"

I thought, Oh no! She doesn't want me touching her. I was so embarrassed that I woke up.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was coming to see the birth of a baby. I had apparently seen the mother give birth before (possibly in an earlier part of this dream). I hoped I wasn't late this time.

It was day, and I was running toward the house. I seemed to be coming at the house from the back. The house was very small, white, and in a rural setting.

I noticed that the land behind the house had become a huge pool of water, apparently right from the backdoor. I stood at the edge of this pond, looking toward the backdoor.

A group of men and women about my age all exited the backdoor. A woman stayed in the house. She handed the newborn baby to a tall, skinny, slightly bearded man. The man may have dunked the baby in the water. This was the baby's birth.

I jumped in the pool (I was wearing a backpack, for some reason). I swam toward the group of people. I wanted to be part of the birth process so much.

I thought to myself that I've always worried about seeing a baby still covered in everything right after birth. But now the baby would be clean. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time that I wouldn't have to see the baby right after birth.

Everybody was now carrying the baby toward the far back end of the pond. I had to swim all the way over there to reach them now.

I got to the group of people. It may now have been all women. They were all talking with each other in cooing voices. I tried to be a part of whatever they were doing. But I couldn't see the baby anywhere.

I may have seen somebody carry the baby, now wrapped in swaddling cloths, over the edge of the pond. The pond was bordered by a ledge of flat, grey stone. I clumsily hoisted myself, in my wet clothes, onto the ledge. Beyond the ledge there was a slight drop down to some bare, dusty soil. I jumped.

When I landed, I was reminded of my backpack. I thought of how wet it must be. Then I remembered that my computer was in my backpack! It must be soaked right through!

I walked around the right side of the pond, heading back toward the house and the spot where I'd jumped into the water. I was trying to convince myself that my computer really wasn't soaked all the way through. I'd had it in its case after all, right? But I knew that was a lousy argument. The case wasn't waterproof. I knew I'd have to test it.

I got back up to the edge of the pond, then I turned around and walked back toward the back end, but up on the ledge instead of down in the dirt area.

I may have encountered my old friend K or my mom. I explained my problem with my computer. K/my mom asked me why I jumped in the pond with my backpack on. I replied that seeing the baby was so important that I didn't care what I was wearing.

I now had my computer sat on the ledge, opened, and turned on. I said, "See? It doesn't work. I'm just getting this one program you always get when your computer doesn't work. It's like a sign from the company that your computer is broke."

The program was some yellow and green colored video game that reminded me of an Atari 2600 video game.

My view may have changed to a dark office, where I was all alone.

Dream #2

I was in my great-grandmother's house. I sat near the front door. I sat on one of my great-grandmother's stools and ate some kind of sandwich.

I was probably by myself in the house, waiting for other people to arrive. The lights in the house were all on, and it was warm.

Some of my family had gone to the hospital with my great-grandma. She may now have been dead. Regardless of that, the doctors had done a bad job on her.

I recalled one particular statement made by a doctor. My great-grandmother had had something like a stroke. The doctor said that my great-grandma's brain would heal itself, so that there was so need for treatment.

I laughed to myself, thinking that they all should have realized there was a lot more damage than they'd thought, and that my great-grandma had actually needed a lot more help, especially since she was so old.

I tried to remember something about what the doctor had said. It had something to do with the electrical patterns in the brain, how they travelled in circles. I could feel the electricity in my brain, travelling counter-clockwise in my skull.

I remembered that the doctor said that if you have an electrical anomaly, such as a minor stroke, you could often wait for the electricity to come back around and reset the messed up part of your brain.

Now I had an electrical anomaly in my brain. I was having trouble speaking, as if my tongue were way too thick for me to talk with. I wondered if my mouth were just too full of food. In panic I pulled whole chunks of tomato out of my mouth. They looked like the upper palates, like for braces.

I tried to speak again, but my tongue still wasn't getting words out. I was pacing around the house, in a bit of panic. I convinced myself that it would just take time for my tongue to heal.

Just then my sister and great-grandmother walked in the door. I knew I couldn't speak, so I just kept quiet, trying to show by my facial expression how happy I was to see my great-grandmother.

My sister sat me and my great-grandma down on a red, plasticky couch (very unlike the couch my great-grandma had). My great-grandma seemed to be a lot livelier than she'd been in a long time. But I still was unable to speak!

My great-grandma (wearing a grey, tweed coat) said to me, "Aren't you going to say anything? Here I've come all this way to say hello. Aren't you going to be grateful and talk with me?"