• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    non-lucid

    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. great grandmother's house

      by , 02-20-2012 at 02:19 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was out in front of my great grandmother's house in the daytime. I stood looking in through her front window, which IWL was too high for me to look right into.

      My great grandma appeared in the window. I probably knew that she was dead. I think I had the feeling that this was either a dream or some kind of paranormal experience allowing me to see my grandma. So I just told myself to keep calm and let things happen.

      My grandma slid up the window, as if this were a double-paned window, which it was not IWL. I believe I asked my grandma how she was doing. I didn't believe she would give me an answer, as my "imagination" wouldn't be good enough to "create" a spontaneous answer from her.

      But my grandma did answer. She very gently said she was doing fine, but that she was here more to get an idea of how I personally was doing. She told me I should be more concerned about that as well.

      My grandma said she had to go take care of something in the house. She may have directed me to come into the house.

      I was now in the house, alone my grandma's "guest room," which I spent a lot of time in as a kid. The lights may have been off, but there was natural light coming into the room.

      Suddenly I was aware that my mom and my oldest nephew were under the bed. I could hear them talking. I must have felt that they weren't actually quite my mom and my oldest nephew. I felt like they were supposed to scare me somehow.

      The lights now went out in the room. I could hear a switch click -- like the daylight coming in through the windows was controlled by a light switch. The room was now dark as night, with just a bit of light coming from the hallway.

      My nephew's voice began laughing insidiously, like he was really trying to scare me. I got the feeling that he wasn't really my nephew, but a demon.

      I yelled at the voice, "I'm not afraid of you! You can't scare me!"

      I got the feeling that the body for the voice had actually transformed into a monster like a Chinese dragon, with something of a human body, and that the monster would soon jump out from under the bed to attack me.
    2. neon starlet marriage; friend and porn

      by , 02-19-2012 at 04:20 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      Two female movie stars were getting married to each other. They were walking down some kind of red carpet, like they were going to or coming from an awards ceremony. The carpet ran down some kind of narrow hallway the right side of which had no wall, but was open to the golden sunlight of late afternoon.

      The two stars were both known for being gorgeous. One of them was a beautiful blonde with her hair up in a narrow wave. She wore a tiny, white dress with something shimmery on it, like sequins or mother of pearl. She smiled and giggled kind of like Scarlet Johanssen.

      But the other star was completely wrapped in a black cloth. The cloth was then bound with something like ropes or bungee cords, so that it was tight on the woman. The cloth looked like felt, and in a lot of places it was cut into wide fringes.

      The cords were all neon colors -- like neon orange, blue, and pink. In addition, the woman wore canvas-topped shoes of different neon colors: mostly neon blue, with bits of neon orange and neon pink.

      I wondered whether the woman's outfit had something to do with her religion. Maybe she was required, as a woman, to cover her whole body once she was married. I may have questioned this, since I figured any religion that had such a policy would probably not be okay with lesbian marriage.

      Dream #2

      I was outside in some city area, on cobbled streets and near a fountain. It was daytime. I was before some yellow-walled apartment building.

      I saw my old friend R. I may have been surprised to see him. But I may somehow have gotten the idea that he'd planned to meet up with me in this place. He knew I didn't want to see him anymore. And he'd somehow manipulated this situation, I felt, so that I'd have to see him.

      It turned out -- maybe I'd known this in advance -- that R lived in the apartment I'd stood in front of. R had me go upstairs with him. It was somehow like I was going to live with R for a little while, like I was trying to get back on my feet and he was letting me stay with him.

      We were now upstairs and in R's bedroom. R had pulled out a stack of pornographic magazines. I had the feeling that they were mine, as if I had lived here before, or as if I had lived here for a while now and had hidden these magazines somewhere here, like under the mattresses.

      R was starting to make me feel bad about having magazines like this in his house. I was feeling embarrassed and ashamed. But then R actually had me start looking at the magazines with him, as if he were already interested in them and was now trying to get me interested in them, too.
    3. hungry animals; sports tickets

      by , 02-17-2012 at 03:23 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      It was a hot day. I was walking up a slope in a desert forest. The soil was grey and dry. There were pine trees, well-spaced, and shrubs and boulders.

      I somehow sensed an animal stirring behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see an animal I first thought of as a deer starting up from behind a boulder.

      The deer seemed to be afraid of me, so that it wouldn't move. So I turned around and walked away, hoping to calm the animal.

      The deer now rushed out from behind the boulder and past me, coming a little close. It was probably still afraid of me. It scared me a little, too. It was very big. I now thought of it as an elk, even though it was colored like a deer.

      I now turned to my left and was walking toward a path or road. There were no trees in this area, and the sun was bright. From behind a smaller boulder sprung another deer-like animal. This one was dark mahogany, almost like an elk. But it only came up to my waist.

      The little animal was really friendly. So I decided to pet it. It began licking me. But then it got too clingy with me. It began kissing and sucking my hand. I couldn't escape from the animal. It almost seemed to be coiling around me. And it was slobbering all over me.

      I knew people said that wild animals with rabies first act really friendly with people. I wondered if this animal had rabies. If it did, and it was slobbering all over me, if was probably exposing me to rabies.

      I managed to free myself from the animal. I was now on the path. There were a black man and woman on the path with me. Off to my left was a small, nice, wooden bridge that overlooked a wide, shimmering valley or gleaming lake.

      The woman was telling me how she was poor and hungry. She was trying to get me to give her money so she could get some food. But I had a feeling that she only wanted to feel me out to see if she could use me to get a lot of money.

      But the man told the woman to stop complaining and to get onto assistance. The man said that where we were, in South Africa (?), people could get really good food assistance.

      Dream #2

      I was watching a true-crime TV show, kind of like "Unsolved Mysteries," probably with my family. The segment was about some woman who had been murdered by her boyfriend.

      The murder was pretty gruesome. But, for some reason, what struck me more was how irresponsible and neglectful the woman had been in her life. I took as a sign of this the woman's obsession with collecting little "cute" toys.

      One of these toys stood up on a bookshelf. It was a little, black rabbit. I somehow knew that the rabbit was controlled by a stylus, as if it were something like a touch-screen Game Boy.

      I was standing -- somewhere -- with my sister. I was showing her that I knew how to play with these "cute" animals as well. The "cute" animal was basically a screen like an iPad screen, surrounded with white fur.

      I was now walking around outside with a tall, fattish white man. The man had stubbly cheeks and wore a baseball cap and a too-tight, pale yellow t-shirt. We were walking through some small mountain town that looked partly lke an old western town and partly like a modern town.

      The man and I were crossing some bridge from one section of town to another. After that we walked up a hill of buildings that kind of looked like Old West buildings.

      I was telling the man about my job. The man said that my job sounded pretty good. I started to worry that the man would think I was bragging and either try to cut me down or take my job away. So I thought I should tone down my enthusiasm.

      I told the man that the job was good for somebody like me because it was a project that was just starting out. It was good for people like me who had volatile emotions. I found it physically hard to say "volatile emotions."

      The man asked me what I meant. I explained -- while shrouding my head with a towel (???) -- that I could suddenly get angry really easily.

      I was still talking to the man when he veered us into some building that looked partly like an Old West saloon and partly like a modern cafe. I hadn't even quite realized we'd gone inside.

      The man veered off to the left and left me behind. He told me he wasn't trying to avoid me. But he just had something important to take care of. He went to the counter.

      I stood around for a bit, then decided that maybe I should get something while I was here. But I needed to get money first. So I went to an ATM just to the right of the counter.

      Just to the right of the ATM was a table at which sat three ladies. The ladies were all dressed like from the Old West. I felt like I owed the ladies something. So it didn't seem right that I should be getting money out of the ATM right in front of them.

      The man walked over to the table and I followed. Apparently the man and I had done something for the ladies. Now the man was looking for our repayment.

      The head lady addressed the man. The lady was tall and stately, with a firm, shapely figure. She wore a dress with red and maroon stripes, a corset-like waist, and puffed-out sleeves. She had her greying hair up in a very fancy coiffure.

      The lady handed us two tickets as repayment. I looked at my ticket. It was white with peach-pink writing. It said that it was good for any one sporting event, anywhere in the world, at any time.

      The woman said she had discussed our repayment with her lawyer, and that this type of repayment balanced being the best for us and the most convenient for her. And since she'd discussed it with her lawyer, it was legally protected. So we shouldn't try to fight her for any other type of repayment -- such as, I guess, the money we'd probably expected.

      The man and I walked away. We were probably back outside. The man was disappointed at first. But then he said that this gift was actually good, and quite a feminine gift, because it balanced the boyish and adult sides of a man.

      I thought the gift was cheap, and I couldn't figure out why the man seemed satisfied with it. But, either as or after I woke, I began to realize that I could go to any sporting event in the world, at any time. I began trying to decide what sporting event I would go to.
    4. dehydration

      by , 02-16-2012 at 01:09 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      It was night. My mom, one of my nephews, and I stood outside under some kind of shelter, like the shelter over a gas pump island at a gas station. But this shelter was lower, and it seemed a lot brighter underneath, like it was lit with incandescent lights.

      There was a lot of stuff under the shelter, like stuff out of a house. The shelter also seemed to be connected either to a house or to a grocery store.

      My mom and I had probably come from whatever place the shelter was connected to. I was probably getting ready to leave the shelter altogether, maybe because I felt I needed to.

      But now a car like my little brother's car came driving toward me from the building, as if it had been inside the building. The car stopped. It may actually have been driverless. The doors opened. Something like a gust of cold wind may have come out of the car.

      I suddenly got the feeling that my actions were hurting somebody's feelings. It may have been my brother. But it may have been a woman, possibly a relative of mine.

      I started shivering. Then I started getting a really weird feeling, like I was melting inside. My emotions and my sensations all began quivering and getting really weird. I was shuddering and rubbing my arms. Then I collapsed.

      People, probably including my mom, may have helped me up. They may have walked me into the building, which was now a grocery store, although it was supposed to be a hospital.

      I was laid down on a hospital bed that was partly walled-off from the grocery store by a hospital room privacy curtain. The space I was in was cluttered.

      I had been told that I had gone through the weird physical moment because I had been dehydrated. I knew that my being dehydrated had something to do with the car.

      I don't think I felt terribly tired or bad. I may even have been standing up and walking around. But I had been told I had to stay at the place because the doctors were still observing me, making sure I wasn't suffering anymore of the effects of being dehydrated.

      At some point a doctor may have come in to see me. The doctor may have been a woman. Or, possibly, after a male doctor had seen me, a female nurse may have come in to see me.

      Whoever the woman was, at some point she was so close to me that it was like she was embracing me. She began telling me something about how some other woman, another doctor or another nurse, was either jealous of the woman or jealous of me.
    5. airplanes and swamp; in trouble at work

      by , 02-15-2012 at 02:58 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was probably with my mom and oldest nephew out on a road during the daytime. We were probably driving, but we weren't quite in a car. It was almost like we were walking down the road or on a moving platform. The road ran through a valley bordered on either side by a dense pine forest.

      The road was packed with cars. We were all headed, rather slowly, as if in procession, down the road. I probably knew that an airshow was going to start.

      Then planes began flying overhead, as if they were just heading over to the airshow, or warming up (?) for the airshow. Some of the planes were flying up from the road.

      The car behind us actually lifted up off the ground and flew into the air. The car was painted gold. At first it looked like a 1980s Camaro. But then it ended up looking like the flying car Luke Skywalker drives.

      But for some reason I was really excited to see the Camaro-like car flying. I called out to my mom at first. But then I saw one of the senior people at one of my old jobs, JS, walking down the road in the direction opposite the procession. So I called out to JS, partly to show her the flying car, and partly because I was so happy to see her again.

      JS may have been walking with a female friend of hers. The two women looked at me kind of sympathetically, like they thought I was crazy but they wanted to act like what I was saying was cool. We both kept walking our different ways.

      The road probably ended at some kind of swampy area. A lot of people stood out in the waters, looking out into a watery space columned by trees. Airplanes may have been flying through this space.

      I must have tried to go farther out into the water to get a closer view. But I only got a few steps out before the water got a lot deeper, probably up to my chest. This would be too deep for me to be comfortable watching the show. So I decided to walk back.

      But it was a little hard to get back. The soil I was walking on was really muddy and sticky, like in a swamp. But the water was crystal clear and never seemed to get dirtied by the water. I was having a hard time moving my legs through the mud.

      At some point I saw my second oldest nephew. He may have been standing up on dry ground, near some fence. He may have been kicking something around on the ground.

      I may eventually have gotten up on dry ground, or at least to a level of water where I could walk comfortably. But I was probably disappointed that I couldn't get out farther in the water. I may have thought that there was some open space out there where you could stand on dry ground and get a really good view of the planes.

      Dream #2

      I was at work. Everybody had an office. But the offices were more like dorm rooms. I was probably new to the job. I kept mistaking other people's offices for my own.

      At some point I went into an office the doorway of which was blocked by something like a couch. I fell over the couch and into the room. There were a bookshelf, a couch, and probably a desk, all arranged so that the room felt like a maze. On the ceiling was a piece of thin fabric with an orange background and a black, psychedelic mandala design.

      Everybody was looking into the room, kind of laughing at me because I had come into the wrong office. I was embarrassed and annoyed, and I tried to cover for myself by pretending that I'd meant to be here.

      I may then have ended up back in the hallway, which was small and dark, like some makeshift hallway in the basement of a house. I then ended up in the reception area, which was like an entire living room in a double-wide trailer home. The receptionist's desk was kind of out in the middle of the room.

      The receptionist was KB, the receptionist at my work. I sat near her desk, kind of behind her, in a small desk, like a little writing desk made for children. I felt like I was hiding behind KB.

      My boss JH came into the room and probably pointed out that I was hiding behind KB. He chuckled at me and said, "Don't you have your own office? Or, what happened to it?" I got the feeling he thought someone else had moved into my office.

      I tried to explain that I was only sitting here so I could learn something from KB. But then I was getting up and heading out of the office.

      But my boss called me back. He had a bunch of stuff in his hands. He said, "This kind of stuff is no good for the workplace. This is why I'm seriously thinking you might not be good for this job. I even think I found some porn in your office.

      "Look at this!" he said, showing me a painting on a canvas that must have been about 30cm long and 20cm wide. It was half-finished, with some edges of it in black and white, not colored in yet. The painting was apparently something I'd made.

      The painting was of the forearm of a person, maybe a young boy. The arm held some device that looked like a gold-colored, metallic spray-gun nozzle on a garden hose. But attached to its ends were a red, pump-like ball and a clear, little breathing apparatus.

      My boss JH said, "This was for your third oldest nephew, wasn't it? He uses it for his asthma. But kids nowadays -----." Something about what my boss said made me think he thought I was trying to glorify drug use by depicting this device.
    6. giant art; art cartel; reading stairway

      by , 02-14-2012 at 12:59 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a museum with enormous rooms. The paintings were also enormous. The walls of the rooms may have been twenty or so meters tall. The paintings were just as tall.

      I may have been with a group of people, possibly a school group. But I had broken off from them for some reason or another, and I was now walking around by myself.

      But I was afraid to go into any of the rooms very far. The paintings on the walls were so gigantic. I was afraid they'd fall on me and smash me. So I could barely go beyond the threshold into rooms.

      One room was kind of dimly lit, like from a dirty set of windows in the ceiling. I saw a pair of paintings in the room. The paintings were, I told myself, either by Goya or El Greco.

      The paintings had the same subject: a young man in rich attire, something like pink, satin pants and a white shirt. The paintings stood opposite each other in a kind of side niche in the room. I wanted to examine the paintings closer, but I was too afraid of them falling on me.

      I left this room -- I think -- and went into another room. The paintings were also huge in this room. But I may have been getting braver about being around the paintings, and I may have stepped quite a few meters into the room.

      But now I looked up and saw that there were also paintings in the ceiling, the rest of the ceiling being made out of thick, ornate wood, like in the Rose Reading Room of the New York Public Library. I was now afraid of the ceiling paintings falling on me. They seemed like they'd be heavier than the wall paintings.

      Dream #2

      It was a greyish day. I was either treading water in a river, moving backwards slowly in a small boat, like a rowboat, in a river, or standing on a walkway through or at the edge of a river.

      I may at first have been with a group of older, well-off people, like a tour group. But I'd broken away from the group a bit. The group were all walking along the walkway.

      The river was wide, and at the other end of it was a big, kind of square, building. The building faced the river directly, starkly: it may even have been a bit cantilevered over the river.

      The building was made of some kind of white stone, but the front of it, or the side facing the river, was of slightly tinted glass. This windowed section curved around the sides of the building as well, giving the white stone of the building a kind of backwards "C" shape.

      I knew that the building was an art museum. It was the Art Museum of Mexico or the Mexico Museum of Art. It was a very good and nice museum. But it was also used -- especially the enormous room overlooking the river -- by drug cartels for arranging certain deals.

      People liked to visit the museum. But people who went there were always afraid. You always had to be careful not to hear things, or at least not to act like you heard things. And you couldn't offend any person in any way. If you offended someone or acted like you'd overheard some drug deal being arranged, you could be killed.

      But for some reason I was feeling defiant. I was going to go into the museum and I wasn't going to act afraid at all. Besides, it was the Mexico Museum of Art. It was full of great works of art. I'd be really disappointed in myself if I didn't see the art works there.

      Dream #3

      I was in some building. I was near a staircase. Apparently I'd always come here to this place to read. Other people did, too. But I'd come to have a favorite spot for reading on the staircase. And I'd read there all the time.

      There were some guys who'd decided to follow me around. They thought I was really smart. They were jealous of me. They wanted to figure out everything I was doing and studying. They thought if they read everything I read, they could get smarter than they thought I was.

      One of these guys was an old, kind of tall, white man with a big belly. He wore nice slacks and a nice button-up shirt. He saw I was heading toward the staircase to read. So he either took the place I always took or took a place a few steps higher than my place. Wherever he sat, his plan was to look down at what I was doing, so he could do it, too, and hopefully beat me at it.

      I tried to figure out what to do. I didn't really care if people knew what I was doing. I tried to be open about that. But I felt annoyed. I may have thought I'd hide whatever I was doing, just to annoy the man back a little. Or I may have thought I'd just act unperturbed, like the man didn't bother me, or didn't exist at all.
    7. driving with mitt romney

      by , 02-13-2012 at 01:13 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in the back seat, passenger side of a car, riding through a town with Mitt Romney. Romney was in the front seat, on the passenger side. I didn't see who the driver was. The day had a strongly yellow light to it. The area we drove through seemed to be a downtown area, with lots of tall buildings.

      Romney and I were talking back and forth. But suddenly I saw something in between the two seats. It was like a little stand-up paper display that are place on tables in restaurants to advertise specials or desserts. This one had three sides. It was colored a dull, brownish copper.

      Instead of advertising food, though, this thing seemed to be a political pamphlet. I couldn't see all the sides. The side near me was trying to convince people to hold back a bill that was going through Congress at the moment.

      The pamphlet argued that the bill would cut much-needed funds out of community budgets. The pamphlet used the figure of $800,000 as an example. It said this cut money could have been used for things like extra members of the police force.

      The pamphlet then tried to argue that the bill was part of a larger conspiracy, and that Romney was a part of this conspiracy.

      The main goal of this bill, the pamphlet said, was to get police off the street. That way, people would act irresponsibly and violently. The government would wait for a crisis, then come in and take even tighter control of everything.

      I didn't believe in the conspiracy theory, but I was affected by the message and tone of the pamphlet. Romney could see this, and for a moment, thinking I had been won away from him by the alarmists, he stopped talking to me.

      But somehow he got started talking again. He was talking about the comedy shows that used him as a subject. There was one show, kind of like Saturday Night Live, that used him as a subject in a lot of their sketches. Romney imitated the actor that imitated Romney, imitating Romney.

      I reflected on what a bad job of imitation the actor really did. But Romney was catching a lot of the actor's mannerisms. I told Romney he imitated the actor better than the actor imitated Romney.

      The car had stopped. We were now walking outside, in a kind of plaza area with a concrete or stone ground and a big, stone fountain in the center. Romney rushed off ahead of me. He had to head to some meeting. I wasn't sure I'd see him again. But I felt like he was no longer suspicious of me and angry at me.

      As I was walking in Romney's direction, a dissheveled-looking guy in old, brown, tattered pants, shirt, and overcoat walked up to me in something of a hurry. He stopped me with the force of his agitation. He began speaking to me about the conspiracy theory I'd seen on the pamphlet in the car.
    8. bald michael jackson; my nephew's teacher

      by , 02-12-2012 at 03:49 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was watching TV. The Jacksons had all gotten together for a concert. Michael Jackson was being driven across the stage with one of his brothers, I think, in something like a parade float that had the shape of a high-heel shoe. The stage was empty otherwise. The shoe and the background of the stage were empty.

      It took me a moment to realize that Michael actually looked a little strange. He was wearing a suit, like in Moonwalker, except that he wasn't wearing a jacket or hat. The slacks were khaki, and the shirt was white with red pinstripes. Michael also looked like an old man -- with kind of sunken, worn-out flesh.



      Then I finally noticed that Michael was bald, except for on the sides and the back of his head. But the hair he had was dyed blonde and done in a ragged, almost standing-up kind of style.

      I knew that rumors had been going around about Michael Jackson being bald. But he'd always denied the rumors. Now in this show he was coming out as being bald.

      I was apparently in some basement watching the TV. I ran up the stairs. My friend H was upstairs, possibly watching TV in the ground-floor living room. I told H that Michael Jackson had finally come out as being bald. But H wasn't surprised at all. I went back downstairs, somewhat disappointed. I thought I was going to give H some new information. But I didn't.

      I may have been watching the TV again. I could see old pictures of Michael with long hair. The top views of his head showed obviously thinning hair. Eventually, I knew, these images had become too obvious, and Michael just had to admit he was going bald.

      But, I thought, this whole thing could be just another one of Michael's characteristic, weird disguises. He could just have done himself up as an aging, balding man for this show. I knew that Michael had disguised himself in weirder ways in the past. So I wouldn't put it past him to disguise himself in this way.

      I now got the feeling that I'd actually met Michael Jackson. I thought that this was possible. When he was disguised, Michael Jackson could walk around anywhere and introduce himself to anyone without them knowing who he was.

      I got the feeling that when I'd met him, he'd been disguise as a really old person or a person in really bad shape. He'd looked frightening and gross. But you could see that his eyes were really his eyes, and something about that had made things even worse.

      But I may then have thought that I actually hadn't ever met him. I thought that if had really met someone like that I would have been so frightened that I wouldn't even have been able to control myself. I even hoped that I would never have to meet someone like that in my life.

      Dream #2

      I was in a bedroom with my second oldest nephew. There were two women in the room with us. Both women were really attractive brunettes.

      The room was dim, with walls, or at least the edges of the walls, in heavy, dark wood. The walls themselves may actually have been Asian-style, paper-thin. I could feel a narrow, dim hallway outside.

      The two women were apparently our teachers. One teacher was going to take me to do some task. The other was going to take my nephew.

      But for some reason, when my teacher walked out of the room, I didn't follow her. My nephew's teacher was talking to my nephew. She may then have said something to me, like she was here to teach my nephew, not me.

      I may have said something like, "Oh, yeah, I see." I may then have decided I needed to find my own teacher.

      I think my nephew's teacher then walked out of the room. My nephew and I were standing in the room, talking with each other for a bit. My nephew must have been telling me a joke. I remember him laughing as he spoke.
    9. paycheck and restaurant

      by , 02-09-2012 at 01:12 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in my family's living room. Someone, probably my brother, had just finished watching something on TV.

      I was led to believe that I could now watch whatever show I wanted. But I knew this wasn't really true. My brother and probably my mom just wanted me to think I could watch a show that I liked so I'd stay in the living room. But as soon as they knew I'd stay, they's switch my show on me.

      I had chosen some old Saturday Night Live episode. But as soon as I saw that my brother and mom were playing a trick on me, I got up and left the living room.

      I went down into the basement, into a room that was apparently mine. I could hear the Saturday Night Live episode from upstairs. I knew my brother and mom were now playing the episode really loud, and that they were going to play the whole episode, just to taunt me for not having stayed upstairs.

      The room in the basement was pretty empty. It was lit by greyish-white natural light coming in from a window high up on a wall in front of me. My sight was mostly focused on something right in front of me, either a book or a paycheck.

      I was now in some busy place in a really busy part of town. I don't know whether I was inside or outside. The place seemed like a fancy kind of bar. But it also seemed to be outside, out on a street like a small town's main street, only as packed with people as a street like Times Square.

      My vision was still very focused on one small thing, probably an envelope. I was surprised to have found this envelope. It contained my paycheck. I hadn't expected to receive my paycheck so soon.

      I pulled the paycheck out of the envelope. There were a few problems with the writing on the check. The amount for the check was something like $814 or $810 (I wish!). But the way it was written in the side box was all messed up, so that instead of a number, there was something more like a nonsensical word.

      I looked over to the line where the amount of the check was written out. This line seemed to be done correctly. But there was one more place on the check where the amount was written out incorrectly. In this spot, the check gave a horribly small number, like $30 or $40.

      I knew I was supposed to be getting the amount that had been written out. But I doubted any bank would take such a messed up check. I also worried that if a bank took the check at all, they'd only give me the lower amount. I was sure no bank would give me the benefit of the doubt, since people in places like banks always seem to hate me.

      But this was either my first or my last paycheck. It was very important that I have this money. So I needed to get things fixed. I determined to fix things. I thought of going "back" to my job, which may have been some kind of parks job.

      But I was now walking away from the main street kind of area with my mother, sister, and niece. I really needed to go talk about my check. But I couldn't let my mom and sister know what I was doing. And my mom and sister wanted to get back home.

      My mom and sister were using my niece as an excuse to go home. But my niece didn't want to go home. So, as an excuse to go take care of my check, I told my mom and sister that I'd take my niece back to the main street area of town.

      But I got the feeling that my mom and sister now had the idea that I only wanted to take my niece with me so I could do something bad to her. So I didn't push the idea.

      We had been walking through a kind of residential area. But now we had turned a corner and were back in a small town main street kind of area. I decided I should be honest. I told my mom and sister that I needed to go see about fixing my check. I also said I needed to get a haircut.

      But we were now headed down some red-carpeted steps, down into some fancy restaurant. We were being led by a tall, very pale, blonde man with a little bit of a goatee and stubbled cheeks.

      My mom and sister and I had been to this restaurant before for lunch. Either my mom or the young man thought it would be impressive to take us all back to this place for dinner.

      But I knew this wouldn't work. During lunch this place was cheap and relatively empty. But at night (it still looked like midday outside) this place became packed with people because of some crazy comedy show. The price of the food also skyrocketed.

      But I didn't say anything. We went down through some glass doors and into a nice lobby area. There was another set of glass doors showing a packed dining area -- people almost shoved against the glass doors, and everybody beautiful and in nice attire.

      The name of the place was written on the door in gold capital letters. But it was written on the inside of the door, so that from our side of the door, it looked backwards. The name of the place was "EVERYTHING WARHOL." I knew this place served really good Indian food.

      A bald man in a tuxedo came out and made a reservation for us for dinner. It was written on a page from a restaurant order's notebook, like you see in diners and so forth. There were a lot of scribbled numbers all over the page.

      The man gave the reservation to either my mom or the young man. Nobody even looked at the reservation, just assuming we were going in soon. But I knew we'd have a long wait. Finally I snuck a look at the paper. Amid all the scribbles, I saw our reservation for something like 8:37 PM. It was now around 5:30 PM.

      We were all heading back out, with the others in my group thinking we'd be back very soon. But the young man, the last person to go through the first set of doors before I would, stopped in the doorway, the door half-closed on him, and turned to the waiter to ask how long we'd have to wait for a table.

      Apparently this restaurant, or at least the staff, was Belgian, or maybe Swedish. The young man asked the waiter, either in English or French, how long our wait would be.

      The waiter replied in French (I thought of it as Belgian-French) that the wait would be a little long. He spoke in French because he was sure that the young man wouldn't understand it.

      But the young man was either Belgian or had been in Belgium for some time. In fact, he was only striking up a conversation with the waiter because he wanted to impress my mom and sister by showing off his knowledge of French.

      The young man had a short conversation with the waiter. The waiter kept saying "peut-etre," or "maybe," which I kept seeing in my head as "petait." I knew the word meant "maybe," but I kept mixing it up with "petite," and thinking the waiter was saying "little," like, "It will be a little wait."

      Eventually the young man got the understanding that we'd be waiting three hours for a table. He rubbed the goateed corners of his mouth and walked out the door. I must have followed.

      I was now walking out with my mom and my sister in what was supposed to be my great grandma's old neighborhood. We passed my great grandma's house, which had been sold after my great grandma had died. The place was now being remodeled and expanded by the new owners. I could even see sillhouettes of the new owners working inside.

      We passed the next house, in which one of my cousins lives with his wife and kids. For some reason, I looked on that house with scorn. I didn't want to have anything to do with those family members.

      We kept walking on. My view was more like the sideways tracking of a movie camera. My mom was saying how she'd always liked this neighborhood because it was much safer compared to some other neighborhoods.

      I agreed. But something about the sight of my cousin's house made me angry and greedy. All I could think about was buying out every single house on this block, and maybe a few other blocks.

      I wanted this area to be completely empty. I could even envision it being empty. This way, I thought, my immediate family could live in happiness, being safe from violence and free from irksome family members.
    10. dirty beach; two sandwiches; dianne wiest lunch; new restaurant

      by , 02-08-2012 at 02:42 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was out on a beach that was packed with people. A lot of people seemed to be out with small contraptions, almost like the rods that would hold up huge umbrellas, but with no umbrellas, and with bases that lay in the sand.

      I stood by a little, blonde girl. She was really tiny, but she spoke really well. She wore a leopard print bathing suit and sunglasses. I had asked her her name -- or maybe I'd asked her my name. She responded by telling me I was silly or stupid.

      The girl then told me that I'd spoken so much about going into the water. So why was I now just staying out on the beach. I figured the little girl was right. I should go into the water, at least to impress the girl.

      But I looked at the water. It was just as packed as the beach was. And it was dirty as hell. It looked like old, used washing machine water. And posts seemed to be sticking up out of it, too.

      Dream #2

      I was laying on a bed, probably in the living room of a nice apartment or condo in a tall, new building. My mom sat either on the edge of my bed or on a bed that was adjacent to my bed. We were watching some movie. The movie struck me as being a little brutal or gross.

      I was either making two sandwiches, or else I had two sandwiches lying before me as I lay on the bed. Each sandwich had its own plate. Both sandwiches were on heroes.

      The sandwich nearest me had ham and cheddar cheese. I remembered that I liked the taste of ham with some other meat. So I told my mom I could make our sandwiches with that other meat as well.

      But my mom said no, that didn't matter. She seemed to be hungry and annoyed, and she didn't want to worry about complicating things. I felt bad for complicating things. So I decided to leave the sandwich alone.

      But I personally wanted the taste of both meats on my sandwich. Then I remembered that the second sandwich had both meats on it. So even if my mom was annoyed by my two-meat idea, I could secretly eat and enjoy a two-meat sandwich.

      Dream #3

      I was at a dinner table with an older woman, probably my mom. We were in a really nice restaurant that was mostly empty. The table was round, a meter in diameter, with a white tablecloth.

      Three older women sat down at a table that was right next to ours, even touching ours. The three women all looked rich. They were all dressed in black.

      My mom had a conversation with the women. It sounded pretty intelligent. But I can't remember what it was about. One woman, the one closest to me, was staying rather quiet. I looked at her. She looked really distressed.

      I recognized her as Dianne Wiest. But she looked a bit skinnier and older. I wanted to tell her how much I enjoyed her performances in her movies. But I didn't say anything.

      Later I was riding in the backseat of a car. My mom was driving, and another woman was up in the front seat with her. My mom said, "Rachel ----- wasn't as talkative as she usually is."

      I thought, Rachel -----? I knew my mom was talking about the woman I'd looked at. But I guess I'd gotten the name of the woman wrong.

      My mom continued. "Oh, well. Usually she's more open when she's around kids. It brings out more of a feeling of hope in her."

      I thought to myself, Well, I'm pretty youthful and exuberant. I can bring out hope in people, too. I should have been a little more outgoing with Rachel.

      Dream #4

      I walked into a restaurant. It was as enormous as the main area of Grand Central station in NYC. Toward the back, the seating area tiered up. The carpet, and maybe the walls, were green. The tables all had white tablecloths on them. The place was empty.

      I walked back to the back tier. I sat down and was now seated with a rich-looking, older-looking man and woman. We ate and spoke cheerfully about something. I was having a good time. But I was trying to play down the fact that I wasn't rich, so that my financial condition wouldn't make the couple dislike me.

      I then realized that this was a brand new restaurant that had opened up in a big, abandoned building. I thought of some friends who I always go out to dinner with. I thought they'd be really impressed when I told them I'd come to a restaurant that had just opened.
    11. house-sitting; non-consenting sex; snuff film bookstore

      by , 02-07-2012 at 02:47 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      A man who was probably in his late forties was having me house-sit for him. The man was probably rich. He had a pretty big apartment in Manhattan. He seemed gay, and his face looked a little soft and worn out.

      The man showed me around his apartment. The apartment seemed like it could have been in an old building. But it seemed to be in a new building, or at least to be surrounded by a lot of new buildings.

      But even though the apartment was big and nice, it was really messy. There was clutter everywhere. Nothing was organized. Everything was so packed together. It didn't seem like a very comfortable place to live.

      I walked around the apartment with and without the man. The apartment had two halves, like two wide, narrow rectangles. There must have been more rooms. But the rectangles were wide enough already to give the apartment a lot of space.

      At one point I walked through a kitchen. There was a bunch of old garbage in the sink. There was even something that looked like a dead pigeon. It looked all wet and gross, like it was starting to rot. But somehow I determined that the pigeon was a fake pigeon, like a stuffed animal. Since it had never been alive, I thought, it couldn't die and rot.

      A little while later I must have thought I was by myself, even though I didn't think the man had gone on his trip yet. I kept looking out the windows of the apartment. There were windows everywhere. I was worried that people would look in and see me, especially while I was doing something gross, like masturbating.

      I also worried that some of the man's friends would find that I was house-sitting. I worried that the people would look down on me and make it known to me somehow that they disapproved of the man allowing some low person like myself to house-sit for him.

      I may have considered cleaning up the man's house. I may also have considered masturbating. But now the man woke up. I could see him sitting up on a huge but sparse and dishevelled bed in a room full of yellow light. The man and I walked around the house again.

      I was now with my brother. We were in a cafeteria on the first floor of the apartment building -- like the building was a new, enormous apartment building or office building. We were getting some food for the man.

      My brother then got some food for himself, as the man had told him. I'd also been told to get some food. But I didn't really want anything. But rather than have anybody worry about me, I just decided to get something. But whatever it was I got, I knew it was such junk food that the man and my brother would ridicule me for it.

      Dream #2

      A boy, maybe five or six years old, stood before me. His back was to me. He only wore a pair of white underwear. It was planned that the boy and I would have sex. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to get in trouble for having sex with a child, and I didn't want to have sex with a male.

      But the boy was a part of the whole plan. He was going to make me have sex with him The boy began fondling me and then moving up against me.

      The boy was moving his backside so that he was directing me into him. All this time I hoped I'd find my way under his backside and into a vagina, discovering that the boy was actually a girl, so I wouldn't have to be with a boy. But it didn't happen. And, in spite of myself, I was feeling really aroused.

      Dream #3

      I was with my mom and sister in a car. We had gone to some bookstore. The bookstore was the first branch of a very small chain. The second branch was closing down. So we were visiting the original store to see how it was doing.

      But for some reason only my mom went in. It seemed like she was taking a really long time in the store. So I decided to go inside and see what she was doing.

      The store was kind of big, but really dingy. The light was a white, fluorescent light. The floors and shelves were grey and old. The place looked more like an old video store than a bookstore.

      I found myself in some section selling videos. There was a poster of a bunch of grotesque imagery that I thought was scenes out of a horror film. But it turned out to be a poster for the video Faces of Death. It may actually have been for Faces of Death III.

      I now understood that these images were of actual people, dying in really gross ways. Some of the people looked like their bodies and heads were melted. Others were decapitated. Others had gigantic holes gouged through their bodies.

      I looked around me. This section was filled with nothing but snuff films and posters for snuff films. I wasn't terribly grossed out. But I decided to get out of the area.

      I walked up a small staircase to the back half of the store. The place seemed to be empty, except for a few pieces of exercise equipment, which also seemed to be on sale.

      I saw an older, kind of fat man with grey hair, tinted eyeglasses, and a black t-shirt standing somewhere, maybe reflected in a mirror wall. I felt like he would have done something bad to me if I'd gotten close to him. So I turned around and headed out of the store.

      As I exited the store I realized that this place was closing down, just like the second branch had closed down. The whole chain of bookstores must have been going out of business. Everything in the store was on sale for clearance prices -- even the exercise equipment.

      I was then back in the car with my mom and sister. My mom was driving away. We were heading out of a small parking lot and onto a small road that wound in between two tight, forested hills. My mom and I spoke about how the bookstore chain was shutting down.
    12. friends in movie theater

      by , 02-06-2012 at 02:22 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      Three people were sitting on a couch. The one in the center was an adult, probably a man. The other two were either children or young adults who acted like children. The two were half-laying on the couch, leaning their heads and shoulders against the central man.

      The two may have been one boy and one girl or two girls. The boy (?) may have been in love with the girl. He may have told the girl he was in love with her.

      The girl may have responded by acting like she would go out with the boy. But she really didn't love him. She loved some other female, either a girl around her age or a woman around the age of the man, who may have been her teacher.

      The man in the center may have had some suspicion that the girl was in love with another female. But the way the girl seemed to act in love with the boy kept the man from being suspicious. If the man knew for sure the girl was a lesbian, he would have stopped her. He was very protective of her, and he thought lesbianism was wrong.

      I was now watching this scene in a movie theater. I sat in the theatre with my two old friends, R and Y. The theater was mostly empty, with only a few people in each row.

      My friends and I heard a voice coming from one of the back rows. It sounded like the voice of our old friend, ER. We thought it must have been ER. But then it was quiet. So we didn't think about it anymore. But then we heard ER's voice again. I knew it must be him.

      I turned around in my seat and called out, "ER! ER!" in a half-whisper. My friends giggled a bit and told me to stop talking in the theater and annoying everybody. I was about to defy them by calling out to ER again. But he waved at us, stood up, and began walking toward us.

      But I didn't want to be quiet after being told to be quiet. So I called out, "We're actually looking for a second ER, too! ER!"

      We were all facing forward. My friends were laughing at me. Then ER and Y began catching up with each other. They'd both led some pretty interesting lives in the years since they'd spoken.

      ER began asking Y about a couple questions about some of the things she'd done. Y responded. She'd apparently had one project where she'd kept some kind of material sealed up in a big trash can.

      At first I thought the project was sinister, like she was keeping a dead body or body parts in liquid in the can. But then it just sounded gross, like she was keeping liquid and old junk in the can.

      Y had another project where she had to vacuum up some kind of dust. This project also seemed really gross.
    13. devil's deal

      by , 02-05-2012 at 04:39 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      A woman was possibly moving down a series of dark hallways or a cave. Somebody was following the woman, possibly the devil, some demon, or a big criminal like a mass murderer. The woman was glamorous, like Kim Novak in the Alfred Hitchcock movies.

      The being had made a deal with the woman He wanted her help, and he would share his wealth and power with her. But the woman had declined. Now the being was following the woman to kill her. If she was going to know about his work but not work with him, she couldn't live.

      The woman was now in some big, wood-floored room filled with yellowy-white light. It was like some room up on the deck of a nice ship. But it was completely empty. The woman stood facing the door on the stern side of the ship.

      The being stood on the other side of the threshold, facing the woman. I couldn't see the being -- in fact, I may have been seeing from his viewpoint --, but the being now seemed to be as tall and wide as the doorway, and to have a very Devil-like appearance.

      The woman faced the being and told him again that she couldn't work with him. But now there was a man in the room with the woman.

      The being had posted up a $1,000 bill on one of the rafters of the ship's room. The being was using it as a test, to show the woman how unworthy the man was to work with him. The being, after posting the bill, mentioned a hidden $100 bill to the man. The man said that there was no incentive in working for the being for only $100. He walked away.

      The being had disappeared. After the man had walked far enough along the deck, toward the bow, so that he could no longer see the woman, the woman went to the rafter on which the $1,000 bill had been posted.

      I was now seeing from the woman's point of view. The woman took the bill. The being had made a deal with the woman that if the man was too stupid or lazy to look for the $1,000 bill, the woman could take it. The woman had also been tied to the man previously. But now that the man had walked away, the woman was free of him.

      The woman still wasn't going to work with the being. But she did feel a bit of fondness for him. And she did feel flattered that someone as skilled as he was would treat her as nicely as he did.
    14. military man and mansion; golf beach; bathroom worries

      by , 02-03-2012 at 03:40 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      A kind of short, cocky-looking Latino guy with kind of tall, wavy hair was walking through a door. The guy was wearing a military jacket and no shirt. He had a girl on either arm. He was kind of giggling to himself.

      The guy seemed to be walking into some huge mansion, which was probably his. The idea seemed to be that the guy had gotten rich somehow, possibly through rap music. He was really gloating about his success, which was really pissing me off. I wondered why the assholes were always the successful ones.

      The man was followed by another guy, who I assumed was the guy's brother. The brother looked a lot like the man, except that he looked a lot more gentle-mannered and worn-out. He may have been partly bald. The brother also entered with two people, possibly family members.

      The brother was then followed by a lot of other family members. I thought it was at least good that the man was letting his whole family in on his wealth.

      But now it was like the group of people was some kind of tour, taking a walk through Beyonce's mansion. The group was mostly young adults and older kids. Everybody, walking through the mansion, had the feeling that they would be able to make money like this, too, someday.

      I was following the people through the mansion from a backward view, like I was facing people and looking through a dolly-camera as it tracked through the rooms. Each room of the mansion had different colors for the walls. There was one room with yellow walls and another room with sea-green walls.

      In the room with sea-green walls a young, white woman was looking at a bunch of empty picture frames that hung on the wall. I had turned around to face forward and look at the woman.

      The woman asked me, "How do they get the money for the models for these things?" I didn't know how to respond to that. Apparently the woman thought the picture frames had all been made to order or built by hand, instead of just bought.

      I walked into another room, which was mostly dark. It was a really big room, almost like a ballroom. But most of the room couldn't be seen in the darkness. I stood in the light of the room I had just left.

      Obscured from my view by some tall potted plants like palms was a table. Two people stood at the table. At first I thought it was Jay-Z and Beyonce. But then I realized it was Beyonce and some other woman. At first I thought the woman was white. But as I creeped around the plants, I saw that she was black.

      Beyonce said something to the woman about giving the woman advice, from one mother to another.

      Dream #2

      I was in some place like a locker room with a group of people like business people. The business people were all smarter and more put-together than I was. But they all liked me anyway, for some reason. We had just finished up something. We were now hanging around and laughing with each other.

      Then some sports team came into the room. They were like a soccer team at first. It was also like they were somehow a part of our group. But then they were some other group of people. They started getting really loud and rowdy, kind of to bully the rest of us and make us feel uncomfortable.

      Then the group of people became a whole bunch of black guys. They were all kind of skinny and grizzled-looking. One had a long, skinny, grey beard. They all wore really nice golfing clothes, with pale beige golfing sweaters. They'd all just come in from the links. They threw their golf bags all over the floor.

      For some reason I was laying on the floor. One guy saw me on the floor and threw his golf bag so it landed on my right leg. It didn't hurt very much. But I knew he'd done it out of disrespect.

      I stood up instantly and was right in the guy's face. I may even have been standing on his feet. The guy seemed passive, but not really afraid. I was yelling at the guy and doing something physical to him, to try to hurt him. I got madder and madder.

      Suddenly I was out on a beach. The beach felt small, almost fake. I couldn't see the water. There seemed to be a couple dunes of sand on either end of a small, flat area of beach. I stood near one of the dunes with a young woman.

      The woman knew, but wasn't quite telling me, that I'd gotten so mad just a moment ago that I'd committed some kind of really violent act on a group of people. I'd probably killed a few people. The bodies were now gone, but there were still small traces of blood here and there.

      I couldn't remember anything about the violent act, and the woman wouldn't tell me anything about it. She didn't even tell me outright that I'd done it. All I could figure was that I'd killed that group of black men in the locker room.

      Something about that thought brought the black man before me again. I was filled with rage. But for some reason I was now just flying over the sand. In the places where the dunes had been, or maybe just before the dunes, were two intricate sand sculptures, each of a city. The cities looked almost like Middle Eastern cities.

      Dream #3

      There was some kind of big tract of land with a house on it. The house was at the bottom of a kind of steep hill. The hill had a flower garden on it.

      At the base of the hill, along the side of the house, was a stone path which may almost have felt like a trench in places. At some point in the trench area was a door that led into some dark, cellar-like room. This was apparently a woman's quarters. The room also held a bathroom.

      The woman who lived in the quarters was probably Irish, pale-skinned, tallish, fat, with red-brown hair. She wore a dress of coarse, plain fabric, probably denim-blue and tan. She was probably a little grouchy, lazy, and mean.

      My sister now stood before me and a few other family members in a kitchen. My sister was very young, maybe nine or ten years old. She wore a pale blue skirt and some long, white stockings with blue designs on them.

      My sister was complaining about having gone down into the bathroom in the woman's quarters. She had opened the door while a woman -- probably not the woman who lived there -- was in the bathroom.

      My sister told us, "I'm not a lesbian. So I wouldn't try to see a woman naked. But when I opened up the bathroom door the woman did this." My sister grabbed her chest and made gestures indicating big breasts.

      My sister said, "Then she said, 'I'm married with kids, so don't get any ideas!' Like she thought I was coming into the bathroom to have sex with her!"
    15. misbehavior march

      by , 02-01-2012 at 02:58 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I may have been in a meeting with people from one of my previous jobs. I had walked out of that meeting. I was now walking into something like a kitchen area for a restaurant, or maybe for something like the cafeteria of an elementary school or nursery.

      The kitchen was busy with people, and it was possibly humid and warm. Most of the people in the kitchen were kids. They seemed to be engaged in some project, like they were cooking together for some confidence-building exercise. Most of the kids seemed to be washing dishes, though, or playing around in the sink.

      There was a big set of wire-rack shelves right before the door, on the wall opposite the door. Before the racks, a higher-up woman from one of my old jobs, PD, was bending over, reaching for a plastic container of some kind of powdered food. PD looked a bit shorter and thinner, though she was still overweight. Her face also looked a bit too pale and dry.

      I feel like at this point all the kids may have gathered around me. They thought I was a fun guy to hang out with. I may have interacted with them a little more enthusiastically than I would otherwise have, though, since PD was around. I'd always kind of admired PD, so I wanted her to think highly of me. I thought she'd be impressed if she saw how good I was with kids.

      Somehow, though, I now needed to lead the kids out of the kitchen and through the next room, which was either like a classroom or a lobby in some school building. Although I was technically "leading" the kids, I was really in the middle of the crowd, surrounded by all the kids.

      I got the idea to get the kids started on a march. We would march and give a marching chant. The chant had the cadence of the "I don't know but I've been told" chant stereotypical of military marches. But I thought it would be funny to make a chant encouraging the children to misbehave.

      I would say the line, then the kids would repeat it. We chanted as we marched up toward the back, left corner of the room. I chanted, "These are the things that I do."

      The kids repeated, "These are the things that I do."

      "When I want to -----" (Go and play? Go outside? Go away?)

      "When I want to -----"

      "Fighting."

      "Fighting."

      "Whining."

      "Whining."

      "Running away."

      "Running away."

      At this moment, two of the older girls (maybe 11 or 12 years old) ran off to the left, just as we were approaching the door to the classroom. The girls seemed to run past a bookshelf, behind which stood two adult women.

      I decided I needed to follow the girls and bring them back. This may have been because I didn't want them to set a bad example for the class. But I think I also wanted to follow them because I was sexually attracted to them, and I wanted them to stay around me.

      I broke away from the rest of the group and followed the path of the girls. I ended up in some room where two slightly overweight, Latina women were sitting on couches. They were both discussing their bills and their debt. I may have felt like the women were similar to PD somehow.

      I saw one of the women's checks. The name on the check was Kerolos. Something about the name didn't make sense to me. Later on I saw another check. It seemed to have come to the woman from some business man. The name on this check was Carolos. This made more sense to me.
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