The Labrynth of the Mind

I have been experimenting with peanut butter, of all things. In previous night I was taking vitamin b-6 as well, but last night I decided to just try two tablespoons of peanut butter before bed. I may not get a chance to journal for a long time today, so here are some quick notes.

Successful WILD?

I was attempting a WILD here. Realizing how fast I slip into a dream after the first hints of HI, I decided to forgo counting, relaxation techniques, or mind alertness methods and focus on myself in a dream. At some point (I don't remember exactly when, it may or may not have even been part of this but for some reason I thought it was) I wake up. Or I think I wake up anyway. I look at my hand as a RC. I have 6 fingers. A classic RC.I realize that I'm dreaming. I sit up in bed, and things look completely normal except that I know it's a dream. I throw off my blankets, but I can't remember anything else.

A series of false awakenings, and some lucidity

I have some long involved dream with gangsters. There are fish in the back of a car, and I make it seem like they have been dead a long time. Kind of weird, but it seemed vitally important at the time. After a while, the adventure takes us to an old building with stone steps. I know that if one of the bottom steps is removed, another set of steps will show up leading down into a passage in the ground.

Somehow I find myself back in bed. The gangsters are in my bedroom. I don't know if I thought I woke up or not. The light is on, and think I had better turn it out. I turn it off, but one gangster tells me I had better turn it back on again. I try, but it won't come on. I think it must be because I turned it off and on so fast, and the bulb is burnt out. I try the switch on the wall. Nothing.

"Must have blown a fuse," I think. But I also remember that lights not working right is a dreamsign. I plug my nose and try to breathe. At first I am confused, because I actually can still breathe but I could swear I was awake. I pinch my nose harder, but I can still breathe. I realize I am dreaming. I walk out into the livingroom, and look around. Things are fading a bit, but I hang onto some things to try and stabilize it. I keep saying "increase stability" over and over. I hang onto an open door, which helps a bit. But when I let go, the dream almost ends. I become dangerously aware of my body asleep in bed. Trying to forget that, I try a technique of slowly spinning and looking at all of my surroundings. This helps somewhat.

The dream is still threatening to break up. I pace up and down the living room, shouting "increase vividness" and "increase lucidity" over and over. I walk into the kitchen, and think maybe some excitement would help. "Create monsters!" I shout, but then think better of it and say "well, maybe no monsters." I walk into the living room, and try to summon someone but it fails.

I find myself in bed. I get up and walk out into the living room, remembering my dream. Things are decorated for Christmas, which they are in real life but not as much. I look at the computer clock, but interestingly it seems normal.Somehow though I realize this is a dream. I can't quite remember what I did in this dream (I'm losing recall the longer I am awake) but it wasn't much anyway.

I find myself awake in bed. I get up and walk into the living room. My mother is sitting there, and I tell her about my dreams and false awakenings.

"I just kept thinking I was awake!" I say. I make a joke about an alarm clock, and how it would be good if I had one set in case this was a dream also. How would I ever know when to wake up for real if I thought I was awake already? I don't seem to doubt that I am actually awake this time.

I realize I need to get ready for school. I have to leave by 6:00 or 7:00, but I can't remember exactly when I have to be there. I thought for sure I didn't even need to get up until 8:00, but my mother thinks differently.

I wake up again. There is a single mother in my room. For some reason, I don't know anything about this woman but I know that she is a single mother. She is also a pillow. It's kind of weird. I don't even know if I'm lucid or not at this point, things are a bit confusing.

Eventually I wake up again. Unless this is also a false awakening, which RC's tell me isn't the case, I actually do need to leave. Needless to say, I woke up again from that last false awakening, and no reality check has failed so far.

I have had some unrestful sleeping lately, and not too good dream recall. So, unfortunately, I can only remember parts of this dream.

Experimenting with Lucid Techniques

I am walking down a hallway, I believe in the old mansion that is connected to the church I attend and is now used for sunday school rooms. I somehow know that I am dreaming. [This may very well have been a WILD, I seem to remember slipping from being awake into a dream at some point. But it would have been the first dream of the night which I didn't think happened that much with WILDing] I realize that I have pretty good control, but the detail of the dream is rather poor. It is pretty dim and fuzzy, as though it were something I was trying to visualize. Also, as often happens, it begins to fade out altogether as I think of myself being asleep.

I begin to climb a staircase, and think back to Hyu's dream journal and how he anchored himself better to his lucid dream. I become more aware of my senses, and imagine a piece of chocolate to bite into. At first the piece of chocolate is very tiny, and doesn't have much substance at all. But the very act of trying to bit into it seems to have strengthened things a bit, so I am able to visualize an even bigger piece of candy. This time, I can taste the chocolate, as well as the caramel center. I can feel the chocolate and caramel in my mouth as well.

Then I get down on the floor and smeel and feel the carpet. It smeels and feels like carpet, allright. I have a vague idea that I tried to summon a Dream Guide, and even of some individual showing up.

Now my recall gets a bit fuzzy, because I don't believe the dream broke up or anything. I'm not sure I lost lucidity either, but I have a vague recollection of a gang of criminals out to get the President. I was part of this gang, but I may have been undercover. Or I may have been out to capture the gang.

Names in KI List (fragment)

Another dream related to Uru. I link into the cavern, and see a few names listed of people who are present. There are only a couple at first, but then I look again and there are a whole bunch of people.

A glass of port

I walk into a bar. The bartender tries to give me a drink of wine. I don't like any kind of alcohol, except for sweet wines and port. I ask for a glass of port, but he pours me a glass of some kind of wine saying it is like port. I take a drink. It tastes OK, but it seems to have some kind of milk mixed in which makes it taste funny.

I have been worried a lot lately, and I hope that the alcohol will help to make me relax. However, the bartender will only give me a drink in a tiny shot glass.