Desperation Happiness

I was in a bedroom with K and a some man I didn't know. They were showing me women who could be potential mates. The first two were elderly! There was a buff gay man. And the only two ladies my age (and attractive) were married. So I decided to roam the house I was in search for my own mate. At the moment I left the room I became lucid.

I started by looking at my hands and interlacing the fingers. I was kind of amazed at the reality of the thing. I went into the hallway and down the stairs, playing with my hands and repeating out loud "I am dreaming, I am dreaming". At the next hallway I even did a little dance to show off the amount of control I had. It was fun! I flipped on a light switch in that hallway and was kind of surprised it worked. Two of the three lights went on anyway. I opened the first door where I could hear voices. Two girls were vacuuming their apartment, even though I don't think there was any carpet. I tried to make myself invisible so I could pass by undetected, I do this a lot. The first girl still saw me as I tried to pass through her like a ghost. I went to the second girl to see what she looked like, got her to look at me then tried to make her kiss me. She stood staring at me for a moment, like she was thinking it over. Then she kind of gave in, leaned forward for the kiss, I leaned forward and must have closed my eyes, because at that moment I lost all lucidity and dreaming and woke up with my eyes closed.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened.. I don't think. I think maybe it's due to closing my eyes in the dream, without my brain focusing on anything I wake up. The complete opposite effect that touching things around the world and looking at my own body has.

I NEED to come up with an intent and practice it throughout the day and repeat it at night so I have a goal in my dreams instead of looking for hot girls.