maboroshi

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I may have been in a meeting with people from one of my previous jobs. I had walked out of that meeting. I was now walking into something like a kitchen area for a restaurant, or maybe for something like the cafeteria of an elementary school or nursery.

The kitchen was busy with people, and it was possibly humid and warm. Most of the people in the kitchen were kids. They seemed to be engaged in some project, like they were cooking together for some confidence-building exercise. Most of the kids seemed to be washing dishes, though, or playing around in the sink.

There was a big set of wire-rack shelves right before the door, on the wall opposite the door. Before the racks, a higher-up woman from one of my old jobs, PD, was bending over, reaching for a plastic container of some kind of powdered food. PD looked a bit shorter and thinner, though she was still overweight. Her face also looked a bit too pale and dry.

I feel like at this point all the kids may have gathered around me. They thought I was a fun guy to hang out with. I may have interacted with them a little more enthusiastically than I would otherwise have, though, since PD was around. I'd always kind of admired PD, so I wanted her to think highly of me. I thought she'd be impressed if she saw how good I was with kids.

Somehow, though, I now needed to lead the kids out of the kitchen and through the next room, which was either like a classroom or a lobby in some school building. Although I was technically "leading" the kids, I was really in the middle of the crowd, surrounded by all the kids.

I got the idea to get the kids started on a march. We would march and give a marching chant. The chant had the cadence of the "I don't know but I've been told" chant stereotypical of military marches. But I thought it would be funny to make a chant encouraging the children to misbehave.

I would say the line, then the kids would repeat it. We chanted as we marched up toward the back, left corner of the room. I chanted, "These are the things that I do."

The kids repeated, "These are the things that I do."

"When I want to -----" (Go and play? Go outside? Go away?)

"When I want to -----"

"Fighting."

"Fighting."

"Whining."

"Whining."

"Running away."

"Running away."

At this moment, two of the older girls (maybe 11 or 12 years old) ran off to the left, just as we were approaching the door to the classroom. The girls seemed to run past a bookshelf, behind which stood two adult women.

I decided I needed to follow the girls and bring them back. This may have been because I didn't want them to set a bad example for the class. But I think I also wanted to follow them because I was sexually attracted to them, and I wanted them to stay around me.

I broke away from the rest of the group and followed the path of the girls. I ended up in some room where two slightly overweight, Latina women were sitting on couches. They were both discussing their bills and their debt. I may have felt like the women were similar to PD somehow.

I saw one of the women's checks. The name on the check was Kerolos. Something about the name didn't make sense to me. Later on I saw another check. It seemed to have come to the woman from some business man. The name on this check was Carolos. This made more sense to me.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a house with a few other people. I may have been walking through a dim hallway. There were doorways open to rooms, some of which may have had turquoise walls. The rooms were all slightly dim, lit by greyish natural light coming in through the windows.

I saw two people, each of whom had something wrong with them. The second person actually had his left eyebrow shaved off. But his skin had been shaved off as well, and there was just a big, bloody wound where the guy's eyebrow had been.

The guy either told me or looked at me in a way that implied that this wound over his eye meant that I was in physical danger. I would die, possibly through my throat being cut, either by myself or by someone else.

I seemed resigned to my fate. I walked into and then out of a bedroom. I had a Bic razor in my hand. I was shaving myself. But I seemed to nick myself just under my left ear. Something about the razor was bad. So I threw it on the ground and got a second razor.

The second razor was cracked halfway along its head. It looked pretty dangerous to use. But I used it anwyay. I seemed to be make the wound on my neck even worse. I was pretty sure now that I was going to bleed to death.

I walked into the kitchen and stood before the sink. Suddenly a stream of blood was flowing down my throat. It seemed to be getting worse and worse. I felt like soon I wouldn't be able to breathe.

I now got panicked. I realized I was finally going to die, and in a way that was kind of gross-feeling and uncomfortable. I thought my mind would probably fade out before things got really bad. But I didn't want to have to deal with the chance.

In my panic I called out, "Mom! Mom!"

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was looking through some kind of magazine like the New Yorker, although a lot of the formatting for the magazine seemed like it was for a popular men's magazine like Maxim.

There were three articles by Joyce Carol Oates in this magazine. I wanted to write Oates a letter to tell her how much I'd appreciated her articles. But I realized that I hadn't actually read the articles, and that I'd look like just some kind of "autograph hunter" if I wrote the letter, expecting a response, without having read the articles.

So I flipped through the magazine to find the articles. I found one of the articles, which seemed like a two-pager, on the front and back side of one sheet of paper. The article was all in some kind of grey text box. I figured this article would be the easiest to read, since it was so short. But even it seemed too long.

I got a little confused as to whether the article was one pages or two pages. I then came to the conclusion that the article was written on both sides of the page, but that the second page was partly taken up by an advertisement. So the whole article was less than two pages long.

The article, I could probably tell, was about Oates and her "new husband" taking their honeymoon in Italy. But the place they'd rented for their honeymoon seemed to me more like a place they'd just bought or rented for the long term.

The first paragraph mentioned something about how the apartment was just perfect "for allowing us to tatertater (an expression which means very much the same thing for us adults as it did when we were children)."

I couldn't figure out what tatertater meant. I just figured it had something to do with making tater tots "out of the can" (?).

So Oates was apparently pleased at first glance with the place. But she said that there ended up being a lot of faults. Mostly the place hadn't been very well cleaned after the previous occupants left. There were plenty of signs of their still having lived here.

One was that, "For close-drivers, a guard rail had been put right up against the edge." I couldn't quite figure out what close drivers would be doing in a house, or what kind of edge Oates was talking about.

But there was a picture, a kind of half-impressionist oil or pastel painting of the place. I looked at it and saw that there was some kind of babmboo fencing, still green, fastened all around the breakfast bar.

I realized that the "close-drivers" were people who pushed their babies in strollers everywhere and had the habit of bashing into everything with the strollers. The bamboo fencing was put up to protect the wood of the breakfast bar. The apartment seemed to be a living room with the kitchen inside of it. The breakfast bar and the kitchen counter seemed to be the biggest parts of this room of the apartment.

I was kind of worried. I didn't think I'd be able to get through this article. There was so much new language in it, so much current speech that I couldn't follow. I also felt bad because Oates, a few decades my senior, knew all this current vernacular, while I had no idea what it meant.

I continued reading the article and looking at the painting. Oates complaints were then that there were empty food cans strewn all over the place, as well as newspapers. I looked at the drawing again. There were newspapers and cans strewn on both the kitchen counters and the floor.

I thought, Did the landlords here bother to clean this place up at all when the last people left?

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a house. I walked from something like a living room into something like a kitchen. The kitchen looked like a normal suburban kitchen, but there was a big table, which was either wide and made of thick wood or was a big, wide table like for a group of students in an elementary school art class. Orange-gold afternoon light came in through the kitchen window.

There were three young men at the table. Two sat on one side and one on the other. I walked behind the two and sat to their right. The seats were benches. I saw that the two young men were working on homework assignments. The assignment seemed to involve a lot of photographs.

Then the other young man began explaining stuff to the two young men. The stuff he was explaining had to do with English writing and speech. I thought, Well hadn't I been teaching these guys English before? Why is this guy teaching these guys English? But I then thought, Well, if that's what they want, I can't be mad at them. And I can't act mad. So I think I stood up and walked into the other room.

Dream #2

I was out in some park, either at night or in the early morning. I was walking past some small, red-brick structure which I think was a bathroom. As I did, a man walked up with a small dog.

The dog wasn't on a leash and it ran straight up to me. The owner made some comment about how the dog was nice and how he wouldn't mind my petting her. The dog was a litte, red dog that looked like a mix between a dachshund and a collie, with pointy ears. It only stood 200cm tall.

I reached my hand down to the dog, even though I was still standing straight up. I may have asked the dog if she minded my petting her. The dog responded in a distinct voice, but probably by telepathy, "Oh, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm gonna give you a big hug."

The dog managed to curl her head and neck around so that she had my arm pressed close to her shoulder. I was kind of flattered that the dog liked me so much.

Now it started to rain pretty heavily. I was carrying an umbrella. I knelt down and picked up the dog, which was now something like a tiny, white poodle. I again asked it the dog minded my carrying her to her owner. The dog said, "No! You can help me get back there without having to go through the pouring rain!" But the dog was already soaking wet.

As we walked over to the owner the dog began telling me about some kind of reality show from Russia that she really liked. We got over to the dog's owner. But now the dog was a really pretty woman with pale eyes and brown hair.

The woman had told me quite a bit about the reality show. I had even seen a few images of the show in my head. The woman said, "They had the whole collection of the show on sale. So I bought it! I bought the whole series!"

I my mind's eye I saw a huge collection of big, fat videotapes.

The man said, "And that was a lot of money for her. $380 (or $830?). For the amount of money she makes at her job (nursing?), it was a big sacrifice."

The woman said, "But I love the show, because I'm from Russia, too. And they had a full showing of the series and then an auction for the videotapes right after that. And I won the auction. Well, everybody loves the show. The showing was done in a church. So even the church supports the show!"

I laughed at the fact that the church would support what was apparently an outrageous reality show.

Suddenly I was having sex with the woman. It may have been right there, as we were standing. She was naked, and I was suddenly having sex with her. I came, and somehow I felt as if I had certainly made the woman pregnant. I felt like somehow we were in bed. I felt like I would turn the woman over on her stomach and start having sex with her from behind.

But the woman was gone. I looked around. I was standing on my knees on a bed in a dark bedroom. The bedroom was big, and there was at least one other bed. The beds were set close together. They were all big and nice, with a lot of thick sheets on them.

Somehow I knew that I had had sex with the woman in this room. While we had sex, another woman had been in the room with us. It was somehow understood that I was going to have sex with the second woman as well. But once the second woman realized I had gotten the first woman pregnant, she took the woman into another room, which was something like a hospital room.

The women, I thought, may have been lovers. There had been no intention for the second woman to have sex with me. The women just wanted me to have sex with one of them so that one of them could get pregnant. Not for a family, but for some kind of medical purpose.

I stood up to go look for the woman I'd had sex with. I didn't know whether I should feel obliged to look for her, since our sex must likely have created an emotional bond between us, or whether she'd rather I just left her alone.

I ended up in some kind of schoolroom. There were a group of people, at least one of whom was a little girl playing a flute or a recorder. The little girl was slightly tan and blonde. She wore a pink t-shirt and a knee-length skirt with flower patterns on it. She wasn't who I was looking for.

But suddenly I was in a maze. The maze was made out of cardboard or particle board. The walls were all painted in a scribbly fashion with white, green, and grey. I got the feeling that somehow the little children in the class that the little girl belonged to had made this maze, or else that the maze had been made in such a weird style for their enjoyment.

I was near the front of the maze. The front part of the maze just seemed to be some kind of wide gallery, itself a kind of classroom. A male teacher sat just inside the gallery. A group of students were sitting in chairs just outside the maze. The maze was like its own building, so that the children were sitting outdoors, in a field like at a county fair.

The teacher was giving the children music lessons. One by one he was having his students play their instrument, usually a flute or recorder. The student would go through some kind of song and then would be required, at the end of the song, to go into an improvisation.

I now had the understanding that the maze was something used for careers. It was like children would go through this maze to determine what career would be best for them. Or that when children went through this maze, sensations were fed into their bodies to help them understand just what a career was like. Or that people actually walked into this maze when their careers began, and they just kept on going.

A couple of teenage boys walked into the maze. One of them was pale with a medium build, kind of wavy, shoulder length hair, and glasses. He looked kind of brainy. He wore a t-shirt that was a little too tight for his build. He looked toward the classroom and called out for a younger student, "Hey, where's -----?"

The boy's friend said, "Didn't you hear? They monetized him (her?) early." The boys then walked through the maze.

I understood that "monetizing" mean readying someone for a career. Apparently this was the near future. It had been determined that the only purpose of an education should be to prepare a person for his or her career. The aptitude and ability of a child was determined early. And the child was advanced to begin his career as quickly as he was capable of advancing.

The boys' little friend had already been "monetized," put into a money-making position, very early. I got the impression that the classes were full of children of all different ages. The classes also seemed to be extremely relaxed, easy-going, almost to the point of being random or aimless.

I was now outside the maze. It was now a little girl's turn to play. She played through the song. But when it got to the improvisation part, the little girl kind of hesitated. She played something that sounded a lot like "A Love Supreme." But after cycling through that melody, she hesitated to fly up into an improvised melody.

The little girl stopped playing. She acted embarrassed, rubbed her hand against her forehead, and said she didn't think she was ready to improvise quite yet.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was down on a subway platform. There were no lights on the platform. It was like the power had gone out. The only light was from a stairwell leading directly up to the ground. That light was enough to keep things nearby visible, though still very dim. But farther along the platform it was pitch black. There were a few other people on the platform.

I was waiting for a B-train. But somehow I heard the train was going to be delayed. I figured I'd wait around a bit. To occupy myself, apparently, I jumped up a meter or so in the air and kicked one of the metal column-beams with both my feet.

I think I came to understand that the train was going to be very delayed. I wondered if I might catch another orange train: maybe the D-train. But I thought that would also be pointless. I thought I might as well get out of here and go to another station. But, for some reason, I still decided to wait for the B-train.

There was now a little girl and her father. The little girl was maybe two or three years old. She had short, brown hair and was wearing lavender-colored shirt and pants.

The little girl was showing off to socialize with me. She was doing some weird kind of hopping thing, hopping up and down, as if she couldn't control herself because she was so nervous.

I liked the attention, so I didn't notice that the girl was getting carried away. She hopped a little too far and fell onto the tracks. She landed on her feet and didn't seem afraid or anything, but I knew it was a bad situation for her to be on the tracks, and I kept worrying that she would touch the third rail and get electrocuted.

Before I could really process anything completely, a big, muscular, blonde man like a soldier rushed up from behind me. He quckly (and softly!) jumped down onto the tracks, picked up the girl, and hopped back up onto the platform. He set the girl down, standing, a couple meters away from her father. He then sat down next to the father. The father was now apparently sitting cross-legged on the platform concrete.

The girl may now have been sitting on the concrete amid a bunch of blankets. I crouched or crawled around in front of the girl, to play with her. Apparently she liked me because I had a good imagination and I could play kids' games as if they were real.

Somehow I knew the girl was already pretending I was some kind of creature. I asked her what kind of creature I was. I figured that I'd then act out being the creature in somekind of wacky way.

The girl told me I was a bug. I tried really hard to think of a bug, but none came to my mind. Eventually, I crawled on my knees and held my arms behind my back, rubbing them together. Apparently my arms were supposed to be wings, and I was rubbing them together to clean them. This may somehow have reminded me of being a fly.

I was now in some kind of foresty area, talking with Matte (from DV). He looked a little too skinny, and his face was stubbly and haggard. I worried about him and told him he needed to eat more and keep up his weight.

I was now in a kitchen. At first there were a young man and a young woman. But the young woman, probably having fixed her meal, left the kitchen. The young man may have been shirtless. He always had his back to me. He was either cooking on a stove or waiting for something in a microwave.

Matte had been taking a shower, but now he came into the kitchen to cook some food. The kitchen counter was L-shaped, and, as the young man stood at the back part of the counter, Matte stood at the right part. Matte was also cooking at a stove. So the counter may have had two separate stoves.

Matte was cooking using a wide, flat, square kind of pan with a non-stick, black interior. He was cooking a few pieces of fish, some pieces of bare chicken, and some french fries. He was cooking them all in a ton of grease.

I thought to myself that it was good that Matte was cooking and eating this much protein. He really needed it. But I knew that that kind of diet would tie my weak stomach in knots. So I'd have to think of some diet of my own.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a different family's house. I had been there for at least one day. I made some kind of agreement with the parents. After this I either left the house or fell asleep and made an out-of-body flight out of the house.

I either drove or floated around the family's neighborhood. I thought about the deal we had made, and some kind of arrangements I would have to make. The sun eventually came up, and, as it was pretty bright, I floated back toward the family's house.

The neighborhood looked nice, like some kind of upper class neighborhood in California, with white houses and palm trees, set, apparently, among rolling hills. I basically floated right into the house, right through a front wall, on the ground floor.

The set up was a living room, then something like a half-room/half-hallway, then a big kitchen, then another room like a second living room in the back of the floor, and a few other rooms off to the left of that. Everything was lit with a kind of dim, blue-grey light, as if the bright early morning light were coming in through heavy, blue-grey curtains.

I floated through the living room. I eventually touched down and began walking. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw the mom of the family. She was the only person up. She sat at the kitchen table, preparing something, possibly something for a baby.

The kitchen table, along with the rest of the kitchen, seemed to be cluttered with household items, but not dirty.

I was wearing a thin, powder-blue babydoll-skirt with tiny, puffy sleeves. I wasn't wearing any underwear, and I seemed to be at a pre-pubescent stage of sexual development. I don't actually know whether I was myself or some pretty-looking boy.

Apparently I had made some kind of deal, either with only with the mom or with the mom and the dad, that I would dress up and act like a baby girl for them.

Something had happened to the daughter. It was like the daughter was a product, like a doll that had broken. They needed to make up for this by using me as a baby-substitute. I can't remember the details, but it reminds me of TV shows when a puppy dies and the parents try to buy a new puppy to trick the kids into thinking the puppy is still alive.

I didn't need to act like a little girl yet, because everybody was still asleep. Plus, there was apparently some specific event that I was acting for, and it wasn't until later in the morning. So I was about to go put on some regular boy underwear.

But as I walked into one of the rooms off to the left of the kitchen, I decided that I wanted to wear diapers and crawl around and act like a baby around the mom. So I crept shyly back into the kitchen and stood right next to the mom. I asked if it would be alright if I put on some diapers right now. She seemed indifferent and said that would be fine.

I walked through a left door in the kitchen. I was going to go around through the left room and then back to the back living room, instead of straight into the back living room through the back doorway in the kitchen. The diapers were in a cluttered pile of household items in the back living room, possibly near a fireplace.

At this point in time I may also have been sucking on a pacifier. I may also have looked a lot more like a little girl than a man or a little boy. It was now also like the baby girl I was "replacing" was still around and perfectly fine.

I thought, The little girl still has to use the diapers. The mom is indulging me by letting me wear more than I need for the time that the family needs me. It's really just wasting diapers. It's doing a disservice to the little girl, because she needs the diapers and I don't. And isn't it gross that I want to wear diapers before the event? If I'm so eager to jump into diapers right now, doesn't that prove I really like wearing diapers?

(Side note: Sorry for the hentai character of my dreams sometimes. I'm not trying to gross anybody out.

As for the not-so-hentai parts of my dreams, I think the family and California neighborhood themes come from my trip to the Paley Center, or the Museum of Television and Radio, yesterday.

This is a museum where you can watch all kinds of old TV shows, commercials, etc. It's kind of like a mix between YouTube and a library. They also have a movie theatre where they run a specific set of TV programs all day long.

So yesterday the movie theatre was showing the program An American Family, which was made in 1971 and is kind of recognized as the first "reality show." The family in that show lived in California.

Even though the family was pretty dysfunctional, I kept wondering what it would be like to be a part of the family, in a positive way. I mean, they seemed pretty dysfunctional, but pretty glamorous, too.

Anyway, then I watched some TV programs on my own. One of the programs I watched was a Nova special about UFOs. It was made in the 1990s, and one part of it involved an interview with a family in Miami whose children were apparently visited by aliens on a nightly basis. There were a little boy and an infant girl.

But what reallly struck me about this family was how white their house was. The wall were blank, white, so bright. The carpet was white, the couch was white, everything was white! It was so unreal -- I thought I'd only see a setting like that in a movie or a dream. I think the family's house in my dream was a reaction against the purity of that house.)

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a kitchen in a small suburban house at night. The kitchen was dim, as if lit only by a small fluorescent light from some place like over the counter or the sink. A small oval table filled up most of the kitchen. The kitchen opened directly to the living room and gave a straight view to the house's front door, which was open.

I seem to have seen everything from a point of view as if I were sitting on the floor or as if I were a small child standing near the table.

There were a lot of people in the kitchen. Some of them were probably my family members. Others were possibly friends of my family members, but I'm pretty sure I didn't know them. We were celebrating some kind of Asian ceremonial dinner.

My old friend L stood up and said that her husband was in the bedroom. Apparently he was too sick to come out into the kitchen with the rest of us. But he was still going to celebrate the Asian ceremony. I could see him in bed, wearing pale blue, 1950s style pajamas, sitting in a big, fluffy bed, possibly even with an old style ice pack on his head and a thermometer in his mouth.

L had prepared a whole tray of dinner items for her husband. The tray was silver, and there was a tall, thin, silver coffee pot on it. L herself was dressed in an "Asian-style" (???) black, silk mini-dress. The dress was sparsely adorned along the chest with gleaming squares of red and green glass or jewels. At the waist there were squares of diamonds (?) which were arranged to look like a thick belt.

L looked so beautiful, and her dress' adornments gleamed so brightly that everybody was stunned into silence as she walked out of the kitchen. In the living room she turned left and walked out of sight. One guy in particular, possibly a fattish, oldish man, had his mouth wide open in arousal.

There seemed to be much fewer people in the kitchen now. In fact, it may have been just my mom, one other person, and I. I now saw a line of older, Asian men walking into the house and filing into the kitchen. There were three or four men.

The men wore long, slender robes of a thin material like bed sheets. The robes were kind of neutral colors, like pale, light brown. They had kind of standard, paisley-like designs, like you might see on a bandana. The men also wore headdresses that seemed to be made out of something like wicker or twisted twigs. The headdresses were like three or four tall loops that tiered upward to look something like crowns. At least one of the men also wore eyeglasses.

Despite this kind of drab appearance, something about the Asian men seemed to be iridescent and gleaming, as if just a thin patina of some kind of purple, pink, and blue material were coating the crowns and possibly also the robes. I didn't know whether to be impressed by or disappointed by the men.

I ended up walking away from the table and into the living room as my mom began speaking with the men, possibly doing something like making arrangements for whatever kind of ceremony they might be performing for everybody at the house. As I walked away from the table I was probably seeing from the viewpoint of a small child.

I could hear my mom talking as I walked into the living room. When I got into the living room, it was daytime. The living room was kind of full of bright daylight. I turned left. I now saw from my adult height. One of my uncles possibly sat in a recliner chair at the left side of the room.

My mom was still in the kitchen, talking with someone like my uncle. I could hear her as if she were speaking from within the back of my head. She was complaining about my uncle (as if she weren't speaking to him!). She said, "I have a lot of energy to do things. Not like him. Because I don't do all those things he does, like listen to rock music and write weird stories on the internet."

I felt guilty because I listen to rock music and write stories on the internet. So I felt like maybe I was wasting my energy instead of doing useful things. I may have started looking at a tall, thin bookcase which was near the front door.

I now had a view of a scene like from a movie. There were two male police officers. They were plainclothes detectives, and they were dressed in suits, possibly 1970s style suits. One cop was black. The other cop was Mexican, and may have looked like a fat, worn-out version of Jimmy Smits.

One of the cops got shot in the stomach. The other cop seemed to be really surprised by this, and he opened and puckered his mouth as if he himself had gotten shot in the stomach.

Dream #2

I was in a room that was like a copy room in an office. But it also seemed to be part of some building in the woods, like a ranger center in a national park. There was a window letting in a moderate amount of natural light. But there were no lights on in the room, I think. The room itself may have been pretty cluttered. There was even a cot-like bed near the door into the hallway of the office.

I stood by the copier, waiting for some printing job of mine to come out. Apparently I was waiting for some kind of series of pages of charts or tables for a report that my boss was putting out.

The job itself was four pages long, each page with two tables. The tables themselves may have consisted of a title section and a body. But both the title and body were just empty rectangles. There were paragraphs of description between each table. A number of copies were being printed out, but they were interspersed with two other jobs that some other people at the office were printing out.

Both of the other jobs were being printed in color. They had green lettering. One just appeared to be the print out of a Power Point presentation -- although it seemed like it was only the back pages of the presentation: all the legal disclosures "fine print." The other report seemed to be written all in Arabic. It may have been a full report, including maps (of Africa?), but it also included a lot of "fine print" pages, also in Arabic.

The jobs were all being printed out so randomly that I had to sift through all the pages just to find my pages. I was getting so tired that I actually sat down in a small, cot-like chair right next to the copier's feed area and slouched far back while shuffling through the loads of paper that kept coming out.

I was apparently wearing khaki shorts and no shirt. My pale blue shirt, which I wear to bed at night, was laying somewhere, as if I had been wearing it, but I had taken it off. Also, at some point, bright, fluorescent lights were on in the copy room.

As I shuffled through the loads of paper, I became really interested in the report written in Arabic. I couldn't understand any of it, obviously, but it seemed to be about something really interesting.

Suddenly my boss opened the door. The chair was so close to the door that my boss couldn't open the door all the way. He looked in and saw what I was doing -- looking through all these other reports. He started to ask me about something work-related. But, disgusted with me, he stopped talking and just shut the door.

I felt bad for having been looking at the other reports. But I then wondered why I should feel bad. My boss had set me to the task of retrieving all these pages. And that's what I was doing. They were just all coming out so randomly that I had begun to occupy myself with other stuff in the meantime.

But, still, feeling guilty, I stood up and walked around in the copy room, as if walking around would somehow prove that I was actually working. The lights were off again in the copy room, and only natural light from the window came in.

I could now hear my boss complaining to someone, possibly one of his bosses, about how he had discovered me in the copy room, wearing shorts and no shirt. I suddenly became conscious of the weirdness of my attire, even though I had been aware of my attire before. I wondered how I could have worn my night time shorts and shirt to work, and what would have made me take off my shirt altogether.

There was apparently a back door to the copy room now. It was open. I looked out. There was something like a forest scene: pine trees, and grey, kind of chilly light.

I looked back into the copy room to find my shirt. I may have found it on the bed. I walked over to the bed. The bed was now full of food. A lot of the food was stuff like snack bars and yogurt-covered fruit and nuts and stuff. Some of the snack bars were like oatmeal with red jelly. There were also Ziploc bags and brown paper lunch bags on the table. There may also have been some kind of padded carrying bags.

I realized that I had to put together a few lunches, at least for myself. It wasn't quite like I was going on a hiking trip, but it was like I was going away for a while, and possibly into the woods. I may have been going with a group of friends. I started to focus on the task of putting the lunches together. I wondered if I would do a good job.

I was now standing next to my sister. My sister's best friend A was also in the room. My sister may have said something. I may have made a really careless comment that made my sister feel really bad about herself. I realized as soon as I'd said it that I shouldn't have said it.

My sister made a weird comment, in a cheerful tone, regarding the way people feel when people make bad comments about them. It was like my sister wasn't acknowledging -- maybe didn't even realize -- the bad thing I'd said. But she was expressing almost exactly my guilty feelings after what I'd said.

I looked at my sister. She was really short and really fat. She had a scrunched in, extremely solid-looking face, which looked like the face of A's mother, except that it was deep red and rock hard. I felt really bad, because I felt like my statement may have made my sister look like this.

It was now like the room was just a bedroom-sized room with just the bed in it. The back door still opened out to the forest. The floor was white tile. My mom now came into the room at some point and began complaining about my sister. I walked out of the room at some point. I walked into a hallway which may have led to a living room. I then came back into the room.

For some reason my sister and A had taken over the task of putting the lunches together. But they may actually have stopped making the lunches. We were still going away into the mountains. But it was also like we weren't going into the mountains. We were no longer going outside.

My sister explained. She said she'd heard some kind of siren-like or buzzing noise outside. This noise was something like either a man-made alarm or some other kind of indicator of a dangerous situation. My sister said, "It sound like there's going to be a lot of radiation outside. I thought we shouldn't go out there. I even think this might be the end of everything for us. There might be too much radiation in the air."

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

There was a view that was partly like a TV view and partly like a scene that I was inside of. The view was of a kitchen. The kitchen looked like it was from a 1950s TV show, like The Honeymooners. The floor, walls, and tables were grey.

A family was in the kitchen. The children sat at the table with a man who was possibly the kids' father, although he may not have been a relation at all. The wife was walking around in the kitchen, possibly getting food ready. The children were all young, less than ten years old. The children and the mother may all have been wearing heavy nightgowns. The man was somewhat professionally dressed, and he seemed to have waxed hair and a waxed mustache.

The children and the mother were all giving the man a gift. They were going to take the man anywhere he wanted to go. The man was surprised by this gift. He put some serious effort into thinking of where he wanted to go. He may have thought of some exotic places. But then the children began playing some kind of weird tag-like game around the man's chair.

The man seemed to be having just as much fun with this game as the children were having. But the man fell in his chair at one point. He appeared to be injured. The children, who had been afraid of the man before, were now afraid of him again. He may have been knocked out, or he may have been dying. But the kids didn't want to be around when the man had regained enough consciousness to yell at the kid.

The kids ran through some kind of weird place that looked like an outdoor scene indoors. The ground was grey and slightly hilly, but it all seemed to be littered slightly with white wads of paper. The kids found some group of parents.

I was trying to make a point to everybody (even though I wasn't necessarily in the scene) that the man wasn't mad. I now saw the man. He was still lying on his back on the kitchen floor, wheezing in and out, barely conscious. He was being tended to by a man and a woman. He was saying that if he was going to go anywhere it would be to St. Louis, so he could see his family again.

Dream #2

I was in some apartment complex. I had come out of the apartment I was in. The sky was heavy with dark clouds, as if were going to rain heavily or as if it had just gotten finished raining. A man and a woman were walking down the steps from a floor above me. We were leaving the apartment at the same time for some similar reason. We may actually have been leaving together.

I saw a huge American Airlines plane flying really low near the apartment. It flew over a deep green landscape, like trees over a rolling, suburban neighborhood. The plane was so low I thought it was going to crash. But it didn't.

I may have needed to speed up to get where I was going. I ran down a stairwell and then did someb weird move where I slid down one of the vertical poles of the complex.

I was now on the ground level of the complex (even though I may previously have been on the ground level as well). I walked around a corner of the building and went into a laundry room. I had to grab my laundry before I could leave.

Some other people had apparently used the dryers after I had put my clothes in them. The dryers and washing machines were actually stuffed full of clothes, as if at least two other groups of people had come in after me and shoved their clothes into the machines without first taking the clothes out that the previous people had left in. It also appeared to me that some people had taken some of their clothes out already. The laundry room was filled with piles of clothes.

I was kind of worried that my laundry had only been partly done. But I began to pick through all the clothes, trying to find everything that was mine, so I could leave. As I was picking through the clothes I found two pairs of panties. The panties looked like they were for a little girl. They were white and made of terry cloth. They had some design of Tweety Bird and some quote in cursive writing on the front. One pair had a purple waistband and one pair had a pink waistband.

I figured I would steal one of these pairs of panties. Probablyb nobody would notice, I thought. I knew the panties were for a little girl, but I figured I could fit into them as well. I may have decided on the panties with the pink waistband. I may have been worried about getting caught while I was stealing the panties.

I was now sitting in some living room. A woman was walking up a staircase, possibly up from a basement. I was afraid to see her, as if it just seemed so uncanny that she could appear from the stairs. But now the woman came down the stairs from an upper floor. The woman was my co-worker, SP. She was wearing boy clothes. She wore a brown, button-up shirt and a round-brimmed hat. She had a suitcase with her.

SP told me that she had gotten all her laundry taken care of and that she was now leaving. She told me that she had even seen my laundry in the laundry room. Something she said implied somehow that she had actually sorted and folded my clothes for me. I asked her if this was true. She said yes. She said that everything was laid out in the laundry room for me. I may have seen everything on a folding table with a fake wood top in my mind's eye.

SP may have made some comment about how difficult it had been to sort my clothes out of all the other clothes in the laundry room, but how she had done it because she thought it that my clothes were important enough to keep track of.

Good morning everybody. This dream definitely ended around 1 AM. I had gone to bed at about 9:30 PM.

Although the end of this dream is very interesting (by my standards -- my dreams are tame compared to the others on this site!), and although it seems pretty spontaneous, I feel it was actually influenced by waking life -- namely by the part in Emiko's dream from yesterday where the boy tells her his name is Thomas.

Dream #1

I was in an apartment. Some stuff here happened that I no longer remember.

A young, pretty, and somehow motherly woman then told me something about how the doors of the apartment were open. This meant something like I would now be able to get back into the apartment, whereas before, I think, once I'd gone out I couldn't come back. The woman asked me to go pick up some kind of food.

I left the apartment. It was night. The apartment was a two-story building with outdoor balconies connecting the second story apartments. The area around the apartment felt like it was under construction or like it had been neglected or destoyed.

I think I was now planning to ask my cousin for the food the young woman had requested. I crossed the street to where my cousin lived. The building was a "college dorm," but it actually looked like a military living space for in the desert. It was long, half-cylindrical, and painted green.

I was now inside. The space was like a small supply warehouse. The floors were concrete. The space was lit by lamps hanging from the ceiling. There were a lot of young men around. They were largely congregating toward the back of this structure, where there was a big TV.

This was the first day of something like college or an extended trip that these guys were taking during college. The guys had all just settled into their dorms.

Along the left and right walls were doorways leading to a bedroom. Each boy had a bedroom. Beside each doorway was a small kitchenette and a small washer-dryer combo. I had a hard time telling whether each boy had his own kitchenette, washer, and dryer, or whether two rooms each shared one set. I either couldn't tell or didn't wonder where the bathrooms were.

I knew that I also had a room here. But I figured I'd probably continue living in the apartment. The boys all seemed cool. But I had a feeling that if I lived around them too long, I'd attract their bad attention and make a bad situation for myself.

I wondered if I had food of my own in the kitchenette that belonged to me. But I didn't concern myself with checking. I knew I'd come here to find my cousin.

I found my cousin at the back of the structure, near the TV. He may have looked like a kid. We spoke for a little while. We were then met by a boy my cousin introduced me to as C, a boy from my cousin's neighborhood. C, who had been short, thin, and pale as a kid, was now tall, tan, and muscular. I was surprised to find myself attracted to him.

I heard some noise in waking life that began to wake me from my dream.

But I still lay in a dream state. I had a vision of three figures. They looked like "little girl in dress" figures cut out of felt and made to interlock. One figure was black; one, grey; and one, white.

I very sensibly heard the figures speaking. They spoke in male and female voices. They were talking about how they had been dream characters but how, now that the dream was ending, they were going back to some place where they spent the rest of their time.

They were speaking with each other in a joking, familiar tone about the stuff they had shown me during my dream. One of the female voices addressed another character as David. The name David affected me for a number of reasons, which I was very aware of, having to do with both family members and big world events that had happened when I was young.

I had the understanding that these characters were actually elements of my personality, and that at this moment they were all autonomous to interact with each other, apart from me. It was kind of like being able to look in from the outside on a schizophrenic episode, which kind of worried me.

I could now sense the characters sinking away somewhere, possibly into the base of my brain, or the very top of the back of my neck.

I now had a beautiful hypnagogic vision: a black background filled with twirling squares and circles, curtains full, of purple, scale-like shapes. This vision buzzed around for a while, then faded away into waking life altogether.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was at "my office," which was nothing like an offce. I stood on the top of a gigantic (30m tall?) Kitchen counter, looking down over a gathering of flowers that were almost as tall as the kitchen counter. The blossoms were about 5m across and looked like a mix between lotuses and zinnias. They were a cream-white color with yellowy centers.

From down on the floor, from which the flowers grew, I could hear my company's CEO and someone else talking. They had been planning a party. (There may have been an earlier part to this dream in which I had been helping with the party planning.) They now may have made some reference to me, as if I were not present.

I thought I would get their attention. I thought I could hop from flower to flower to get closer to them. But I figured that wasn't a great idea. The flowers were probably weak. They might not support my weight.

At some point, it may have seemed like the flowers were floating in a body of water, as if this gigantic kitchen had been flooded up to the level of the countertop.

Something had been settled regarding my role in the party, and I was now walking along the counter-top, trying to get to wherever I needed to get to take care of my task. The kitchen floor seemed to get closer and closer, and things took on more and more of a regular proportion.

At some point my CEO walked past me, coming from the opposite direction. He may have been walking on the countertop, but I think he actually was down on the kitchen floor, which was now only 3m or so below the counter-top. I said hi to him. He said hi and addressed me by my name. I was pleasantly surprised that he knew my name.

I walked past some tall cardboard boxes that were on the counter-top. At the end of the counter-top was something that looked like a way-oversized wheelchair-ramp leading down to an oversized lobby that looked like the lobby to a small office building in a suburban office park.

I somehow found myself on another ledge, like an oversized counter-top, looking down (about 5m) to an oversized area that had been set up "to look like" a 1950s-style diner (even though I don't think now that the place actually looked like a 1950s-style diner).

The place had clean wood floors, white walls, and a few round tables. Over the huge front door was a huge "1950s-style" sign which looked like a mix between a clock and a spoon. The name of the restaurant was given, with a (not very convincing) "1950s-style" slogan underneath it.

I'd had to turn around to see the sign. I turned back around and was now in a smallish theatre, which was still, somehow, the "1950s diner." I stood (on the floor!) at the top and back of the theatre.

The theatre was full of young people, mostly boys. The theatre's seats were all set up at a couple of different angles. The seating was very steep, like stadium seating. The chairs were red. Down at the bottom was a small stage.

I understood that an anime festival was about to take place here. Some presenter (possibly a shortish, youngish-looking Asian woman in a grey t-shirt, pale blue jeans, and glasses) was about to begin speaking.

I found a couple of my friends: a man I don't recognize and my female friend T. They were sitting at the back of the theatre, on red-leather and chrome stools like counter-stools in a 1950s diner.

I went over to my friends. I lay down across a couple of the stools, stomach-down. I wondered if these seats were very good. After all, this place was packed. Once the presentation started, would we have a bunch of people constantly crowding in front of us?

My stool-tops now seemed to come directly out of the floor now, instead of being atop chrome poles. T, wearing a long skirt, lifted up her skirt to straddle me and sit on my back.

I kind of got mad that T had lifted up her skirt. I knew that she'd lift it up enough so that anybody looking would easily see the crotch of her panties. There had already been some creeps looking in our direction. Now that T had basically flashed everybody, these guys would probably really want to cause trouble for me.

At some point I may have had to tell T to get off me. The way the stool-tops were set and the way T sat on me were putting a lot of pressure on my spine. I figured I'd just roll down onto the floor and let T sit on me that way.

After this, T and I were standing by some doorway, just outside the theatre, looking into the dark theatre through a half-opened door. We stood in a white walled hallway.

We were talking to a couple of older, rich-looking, white people, probably a man and a woman. The man and woman were famous and possibly had had something to do with the anime and manga industry. We may have been making plans to collaborate on something.

I had a number of dreams, but they're mostly so fragmented I can't remember them. This is the only dream I remember.

I was in my great-grandmother's house, probably with my mom and my sister. My great-grandmother had passed away a while back (like in waking life), and the house was empty. But I think my mom, my sister, and I were going to throw a party for our whole family in the house, like my great-grandmother used to do.

I walked into the kitchen. I may have had the feeling that I didn't belong in the house for some reason.

Now my great-grandma appeared. She may have risen up through the floor, or she may just have suddenly appeared before me. She stood really close, between me and the kitchen counter. She was even shorter than she had been while she was alive.

She may have told me something. But I can't remember what it was. She may have seemed a little agitated or annoyed.