Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

A friend and I are chased out of a Tibetan village by angry men trying to kill me with rocks and sticks. We run down a trail through the woods, straight into an old WWII tank, shooting directly at us. The tank shots don't go through big trees, but get stuck inside, and then explode, completely obliterating the trees. The same happens with rocks that we try to hide behind. We turn and run through more of the forest, off of any trail. Two people on a dirt bike are riding through the woods opposite of us, and 100ft to our right. I quickly drop to the ground so they don't see us, but they do. The person on the back of the dirt bike has a fully automatic rifle, and what appears to be lots of ammo.

We take cover behind some huge trees. I can see through one of the trees, and notice the rifle being aimed directly at me through the tree. So I crouch down as a bullet grazes my back, burning and tearing some of my skin off as it passes. This motivates me strongly to find safety from all this chaos. My friend and I run to a rope-bridge that crosses a large chasm, but soon find that we are now surrounded, people who want us dead on both sides of the bridge.

I kneel down, and draw a symbol I've never seen before, looking mostly like a 4. As I draw it, I say something about "We will be safe". It glows a bit. I trace it again, saying the same words, and it glows more. I repeat that a third time, semi-aware that we will be shot in a matter of seconds here on the bridge. The symbol glows brightly, radiating light all over, and I am immediately transported to Hell!

Standing on an invisible energy floor in the middle of a ring of gnarly floating rocks, glowing red and on fire, this whole mass just floats far above what looks like the ground level. Lots of other flaming / glowing rocks float around, most are massive, the size of multiple cruise liners. There are stone bridges and passageways leading from one to the other. I feel safe here, because I doubt any of my attackers would actually go to hell, even if it was just to kill me.

I seem to be alone in Hell, no one else around. All I hear is flames, and the creaking of really hot rocks. It all looks quite amazing. I walk down a rock staircase to a lower level, and find myself face to face with a massive demon. About 15 times my height, very thin, his feet and hands are massive blades, and he appears to be completely composed of strong metal. He steps on me, cleaving me in two rather effortlessly. Instead of dying, I find myself in one piece again nearby this same beast. Mostly still feeling happy to be free from those people shooting at me, I'm not afraid of this demon at all. Sensing this, he walks away disappointed. I walk along a rock path, either side of which is a vast expanse of molten rock, glowing bright orange and yellow, gently undulating as it flows around. I come across another giant demon beast. This one looks like a combination of a pit-bull, the incredible hulk, and a giant boulder with massive spikes on it. This demon is bulging with muscles and thick, rough skin, mostly black, but glowing red in the creases. Kind of the texture of a massive tree with big chunky tree bark. He has big spikes on his shoulders, and lots of pointy fangs, sort of drooling as he growls at me. Since I went to hell to be safe, I'm not afraid of him. He charges me, and I just watch to see what happens. He bites me, eating the top half of my body. Everything goes black for a bit, then I re-materialize right in front of him again, just watching curiously. He too gets discouraged and leaves. They seem to only enjoy mauling me when I'm afraid.

I explore around a bit, taking in the massive mountains of glowing spikey rocks, and rivers of magma. The whole ambiance of this place is a rather soothing red/orange/yellow color. I find it pleasing to my eyes.

I then wake up to my room being only a degree or two below body temperature, and I've sweat through everything. A similar temperature perception to the dream.

I fall asleep, and immediately see a face directly in front of mine, maybe our noses are a full nose distance apart at most. A man is staring directly at me, sporting a big, regular mustache, and smiling happily. Looking right into my eyes as his wide face remains motionless. I scream in terror, completely surprised by this man, because just a moment ago I was laying in my bed, waiting for sleep.

I wake up with a jolt, then question why he was so terrifying for me? I think it was the surprise factor of going from being by myself, to having a face all up in my face.

Walking home, I must cross a big river to get to the other side. Normally I would just jump across the narrow part here, which although narrow for the river, is about as far as I can jump. Today however, the river is 4 times wider, and raging like it's alive and angry. I recall there is a bridge up-stream, and take a short cut off the trail to cut a big corner out of the path. I slide down a steep hill, and continue toward the bridge.

Panicking, I see that the river has jumped its banks, and this short cut is not impossible. It leads directly to a dead-end cliff-like hill about 40 feet high, very close to the river, and where I just came from is also too steep to return. I have to jump out of the way of a few rogue waves that leap out from the others. There are some massive waves in this river, each one nearly knocks me into it.

There is some really long, thick grass growing up the side of this steep hill (basically an 85 degree angle with flat ground). I grab fist fulls of the grass, and begin my near vertical assent back to the road up above. It's really easy with all this grass! As I near the crest, there is no more grass, and the ground is very loose. Large chunks of earth fall out from beneath me. I scramble to regain my grip and my footing, but each spot I hold onto quickly crumbles away, digging the cliff summit out to be even steeper.

I am soo close to the top, I can put my hand on there, but only to pull the earth loose. I see a woman walking by, and greet her to avoid surprising her by being so close to the path, and right at foot level where she wouldn't see me until super close. She looks at me with a disgusted look that says, 'This guy is a typical risk taker' and says "Rock climbers...." with a big sign as she walks off quickly.

Disappointed that she didn't help me, nor grasp the seriousness of the situation I'm in, I continue to struggle not to fall. Looking back briefly, I see that if I fall, I will land directly into the river that has now changed course to be right below me. I also recall how never in my life have I been able to climb over a steep crest - the rock wall at summer camp, the 2 mile high cliff in my back yard, the ridge on top of the mountain - in every case, I failed to make it. It's just impossible for me.

Deciding to give it everything I've got, I try to summit to my left, but literally pull every possible hand hold loose so there is nothing more to grab onto. I try the right, and lose my grip as I rip away fist fulls of loose dirt and fall backwards. Managing to wedge my toes into a crack, I use my shin muscles to pull myself 30 degrees back to the cliff. Phew, close call! Now making sure I have good foot placement, I try to summit to the right again. Everything is pulling loose! I reach the very end of the line, nothing left to try, except a smooth, vertical rock to my right. No way to get a good grip on it at all. I split my force evenly between all fours, hands and feet, none of which are in a safe, secure spot in case I slip. Dangerously vulnerable, I continuously have to shift each hold, and scramble. I imagine making it successfully, and gently, but continuously shift my placement as I make slow progress. My head passes above the crest, but it is still steep!

I push and pull, feeling really off balance, and get my torso above the crest. To my amazement, I reach the top. "Sure footing here!"

No sooner do I reach the top, than I have a vision of Satan himself telling me in a deep demonic voice, "Congratulations, this is the first time you ever passed this test". Unsure why Satan is congratulating me, I am happy to have made it this time. A true victory over my fears.

I continue down the path, cross the bridge, and end up at my friend's mom's house. I'm get along better with her mom, so I'm not disappointed when just her mom is home. I find her testing her new home security system. She demos it for me. There is a massive vault door, with a huge lock on it. She tells me "if someone breeches the door, this is what happens..." and pushes a button on a remote. A siren plays loudly, blue and white lights flash, and inside the safe room, sitting at a desk, looking at a laptop screen, facing toward us, is a goat. Judging by the sounds coming from the laptop (goat noises), the goat is watching goat on goat porn. The goat has an intense focused look on his face as he stares into the screen, lightly illuminated by the video. I find it hilarious.

We walk into the kitchen for dinner. She offers me food and starts to eat. I already have a full plate. "I'll start with the water" I tell her, being polite, and wanting to wait until her daughter returns so we can eat together. I also want to tell her about my successful summit of the cliff, but want to wait so I can tell them both at the same time.