maboroshi

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

My female friend H and I were in a mall at night. We were in one of the department stores. I think we wanted to head out of the mall.

We knew the exit we were at didn't lead to the section of the parking lot where our car was. But we didn't know what exit of the mall would lead us to our car.

But for some reason we were heading for the exit at the end of this department store, anyway. We walked out a double set of sliding glass doors.

As we passed between the two doors, a policeman, not a security guard, passed in front of us. He was a couple inches taller than I, kind of muscly, black, with lightish skin, and very short hair. He seemed to be trying to bully us or hustle us a little as he passed us.

The cop passed through the second set of doors, and we followed. After the cop got a couple meters away from the exit he turned around and did something like a sly, little look at us -- at me in particular, like he thought I was some sort of troublemaker.

I thought, Oh, god, I'm getting singled out all over again. The cop walked away. But I felt like I was going to get targeted for more harrassment.

I knew H and I had walked out the wrong exit of the mall. I knew the easiest thing to do would be to go back into the mall, straight through the mall, and to the correct exit.

But I felt like if the cop already had me singled out as a troublemaker, he'd probably either head back into the mall and harrass me or contact his cop friends and have them harrass me, if he saw me head back into the mall. So I figured the smartest thing to do would just be to walk all the way around the outside of the mall until H and I found our car.

Dream #2

I was sitting at a table in a food court area that kind of looked like the dining section at the student union of my old university. But this food court was either part of a mall or an airport -- or both.

There was one big area of seats, then a wide walkway, then another big area of seats. Both seating areas and the walkway were busy with people, all rushing all over the place.

I sat at a table full of people, mostly adults in their forties or fifties. But, off to my left, I saw somebody, maybe one of my old psychiatrists, sitting at another table.

I didn't want her to get up and hurry away before I got to talk to her. So I ran to her table. But when I got to the table, she was gone. But I felt like she was probably going to return. It was now like we were scheduled to meet. So I figured I'd sit here and wait for her -- so this time I wouldn't miss her.

But I realized I'd left my backpack (a huge, tall backpack!) at the previous table. So I got up and ran over to pick that up.

For some reason, I was now kind of wandering around in the seating area. I seemed to be upset with my most recent psychiatrist. I had feelings about her that were the same as IWL -- I felt like she neglected my deeper psychological issues all the time, always looking for a quick fix and easy way out -- to save herself the trouble of work.

For some reason, I felt like I finally needed to just complain to somebody about her. For a moment I may have complained to the psychiatrist I'd seen sitting at the table -- somehow. But that psychiatrist was now gone.

But now I saw my most recent psychiatrist's "boss," sitting in an armchair in a section of hallway after the seating area across the walkway from me. I went up to this woman and either sat in an armchair right next to hers, or knelt beside the woman's armchair.

The woman looked like Susan Seaforth, who played Julie Horton on Days of Our Lives, from around the time period of the late 1970s.



I either told the woman that I wanted to complain about my psychiatrist, or I just began complaining to her about my psychiatrist.

The woman listened to me for a moment. She then said that she understood what I was talking about. But she had to go take care of some business. When she got finished, she'd come back to me. I could tell her the rest of my story. And she could figure out what to do in response.

But I think this woman's "business" was to catch a flight. I'm pretty sure she even had luggage with her. It didn't register with me then -- but -- how long was I supposed to wait?

Dream #3

It was daytime. I was out on a wide, shallow, stone staircase with a lot of people. We all stood up near the top, near a whole wall of glass doors that looked in on a comparatively dark lobby. It was like we were all assembled out here for a photo.

I was playing some kind of important part in whatever proceedings we were all a part of. But there were these two really hot, young women right next to me. One of them, even though she was a really hot, young woman, may have been one of my friends' mothers.

The two hot girls began kissing each other. First they were just giving each other mild, quick, closed-mouth kisses. But then, either because I wasn't reacting much or because I actually was paying attention to them, they began to give each other slower kisses.

I was pretty aroused by this. The two girls kind of fed on my arousal and began giving each other open-mouthed kisses. They even kind of sunk down a bit, almost kneeling on the ground with each other. They may have been wearing wedding dresses, as if they were going to marry each other.

Now the young women opened their mouths slightly and began slowly sliding their tongues back and forth into each others' mouths. This was too much for me to handle.

The girls stood back up and were almost right in my face. So, even though I didn't want to start kissing my friend's mom, I just crept my face a bit closer. I began working my tongue in there a bit.

I was trying to get my tongue in there in the least intrusive way that I could. I was really turned on by the girls' lesbian kissing. I didn't want it to turn into straight kissing. I just wanted to get a little bit of the lesbian erotic energy on my own tongue.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was night. I was riding in a car with a group of people. I sat in the backseat, on the passenger side. We were driving through a neighborhood full of buildings that looked kind of like houses, but were more like apartments. They were thin and tall, with three or four floors. Each floor was like its own apartment.

We drove past blocks and blocks of these houses. We were also driving really fast, passing all the houses at an incredible rate. We went up and down hills. Some of the hills we passed over seemed to have these house-like apartments set into them.

As we passed the side of one of these buildings, a woman, either in my head or in the car, told some weird story about how she'd accidentally dialed 911 on her phone and then left the phone alone. The girl was some kind of hot girl, and she lived with a couple other hot girls.

Apparently all the girls thought they were going to get in trouble. But they also thought the whole thing had been some kind of prank that another girl had played on them.

We now blasted through a neighborhood full of these houses. But as we did, we seemed to lift up onto a ramp. It lifted us over what looked like two or three different levels of these blocks of tall, thin house-apartments.

As we drove along, the levels of housing blocks began to appear more like floors in a gigantic shopping mall. It was like we were driving along a balcony walkway in the mall, one that took us across the center of the open space made by the balconies projecting out from the walls.

I saw all of this as if I were positioned backward in the car. But soon it was like I was in the front of the front seat, looking back beyond the people in the front and back seats. Then it was like the car we'd been in was gone. The people who'd been in the car were probably also gone now.

I could see all the way down to the first floor of the mall. I saw that the mall's floorplan was built with a circle at its center. From this circle, the mall branched off into four separate shopping areas. They must have been corridors full of stores. But all I could see was that the areas each began with one huge store.

The back section, which was, apparently, where we'd come from, was green. The sections to the left and right were blue and yellow -- maybe yellow on my right and blue on my left. I'm not sure. And I don't know what the color of the front section was.

I was now up on some high floor in the mall, probably standing out at the top of the escalators and in front of a map and information sign.

A man or woman stood with me. He or she was tall with grey hair. He or she seemed kind of intelligent, probably liberal.

The person asked me something like would I like him or her to take me around the mall. I said no. I didn't have much time to spend in the mall, anyway, and I already had a plan for how I was going to do it.

I said that I had come from the green area. I knew that each section of the mall was humongous, enough for one day's worth of exploration. I said I was going to head back to the green area and spend a little time there. Then I'd look for the exit and, apparently, find the car I'd driven here in the parking lot.

The person may possibly have said that was fine. The person was now gone.

I turned around and walked toward the front area. I walked into some big, dim room. The room was empty, and it was barely lit with an almost amber-colored light. It was shaped kind of like a wide, shallow seashell. The walls were a dark, polished, black material.

There were quite a few people in the room. But we were all quiet and calm. An Asian woman's voice came on over some speakers. The woman began informing us that everything was about to begin.

Apparently we all, even I, knew what to do. We walked to the edge of the room, where the carpet stepped up toward the wall, forming something like a kneeling area, like for communion at church. We all knelt down.

The woman told us something about breathing in a substance which would cause hallucinations. The hallucinations weren't caused, the woman said, by the chemical. Rather, the chemicals we'd breathe in would trigger the chemical "mercaptan" (???) in our brains. This would create hallucinations.

As we breathed in the substance we would have to think of some famous person we wanted to see. We would hallucinate that person, but the person would also do something like materialize, be real.

We all now put plastic bags over our mouths and, probably, noses. The bags were weaker than grocery bags. But they were all about half-inflated with something. Even when the air inside the bag was breathed in, the bag remained half-inflated. I tried to figure out how it worked. But I couldn't.

I breathed the air in. I could smell a trace of something, which I assumed was the drug. The famous person I wanted to see was the 17th century English poet Abraham Cowley. So I focused on him.

At some point the back wall had disappeared, revealing another room like the room I was in. The room was completely empty.

But I wasn't having any hallucinations about Abraham Cowley. I figured this whole thing probably didn't work after all, anyway. I pulled the bag down from my face.

I know got a bit of a heavy bump from someone on my right side. I looked over -- it was now like I was sitting on a stool at a bar. All the people were sitting at the bar. And the wall seemed to be back.

The person to my right was standing. It was the person who had been standing with me near the information map. I now knew that this person was a man. But he was now done up completely like a woman. The reason he'd left before was so he could get all done up.

He didn't look bad. He was probably in his fifties, and he dressed like a liberal woman in her fifties. He wore jeans and a black, ribbed, turtleneck sweater. He had his short, grey hair done in a feminine fashion. He wore a lot of foundation makeup, which I thought was weird. But he didn't look bad.

Still, I was kind of embarrassed that the guy had come to hang out with me. I wondered if, wherever we went in the mall, the people around us would think I was going out on a date with this guy. I didn't want anybody to think that.

(Shallow...)

The person spoke about something in a relaxed but kind of loud voice. As the person spoke I felt a bit more relaxed. It seemed like if we just spoke about things that didn't have to do with sexuality, I wouldn't have to worry about what people would think of me for walking around with the person.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was possibly in a classroom. All the desks were arranged in a circle. The room was lit with kind of dull, greenish, fluorescent light. The class or meeting had ended, and everybody was headed out of the room. The room was empty as I left it.

There was a boy somewhere behind me. He was blonde, well-groomed, with a kind of effeminate bearing and voice. He had said something in class, and now he asked me, "Was I rude when I said that?"

I wanted to say yes, but I thought that would be wrong. So I said, "Well, you work so hard that nobody would think you were just plain rude. But people might think you were defensive."

Dream #2

I was walking along a sidewalk in a residential part of town. It was a sunny day, but there was snow on the ground. The snow had been cleared from the sidewalks and streets, but it was still piled up around the curbs and the grassy areas between the sidewalks and curbs. The snow piles were all wet and slushy from the sun.

I was apparently heading to a dance class (?). But, as I crossed a street and then walked past a glass-walled bus stop, I felt a bad headache and decided not to go to class. The headache was like a hard, concrete-like feeling in the back of my head. My eyes also felt sunken in, and I had a real drop in energy.

But I also felt like if I didn't go to dance class I would teach my teachers and classmates a lesson, as if they had done something to insult me and now I was paying them back.

I was apparently walking a few blocks, up a mild slope, to a train stop, possibly for one of the red trains, maybe the 2-train. I walked past either a college campus with red brick buikdings or a block of very nice, red-brick houses. There were tall trees shading the sidewalks.

A couple of tall, young, beautiful people were walking close behind me. The neighborhood may actually have been moderately busy with people overall. The people were joking about something they had done to a friend or colleague of theirs. They had taken something of his. When he got upset about it, they wondered why he could be so sensitive.

I passed another (or the same?) glass-walled bus stop. I now had in my left hand two bags from fast food restaurants. The first bag was from Dunkin' Donuts. It was a coffee. The second bag was from somewhere else. It was food, maybe even a donut.

I was getting close to the subway station. But suddenly I was in a vehicle like a big minivan. I was in the van with a few other people who acted or looked like subway passengers. The van was driving down concrete ramps that looked somewhat like ramps connecting different platforms in a subway station.

We kept going down. The area we were driving through looked like a mix between a subway station and a mall. There were stores like department stores and drug stores all through the corridors.

A big, muscular, kind of pale, white man who looked like a soldier sat somewhere across from me. But he also seemed, at times, to be driving this vehicle.

He told me and a couple other passengers, "When I'm driving a train, and they tell me we have to be delayed, I let everybody know exactly what's going on. I tell them, we'll be here for 28 minutes, and I countdown, and so on. That way people know.

"Some people like to keep passengers in the dark about what's going on. I think dispatch does, too! But I don't. When people don't know what's going on, they feel like the train will never start running again."

The man stopped the vehicle. We were really deep down by now. I saw the subway train off to the left. The front of it had a side door, like for a semi truck, which was swung open. I understood that the man was going to conduct the train.

I jumped out the left side of the van, but I landed outside on the right side of the van. For some reason I was worried about whether I had jumped out fast enough. I thought if I was too slow, the soldier would be impatient with me.

The area down here was also like a mall, and there were a lot of people lounging around like they would in a mall. I saw two big drugstore-like stores, one of which may possibly have been a bookstore. I thought that I might need to go to the store before I got on the train.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a car with my sister. We were out in the driveway of her house, although it feels now like we were also in some kind of dirt parking lot for a fairgrounds. My sister was talking to me about and showing me some kind of pictures of a place that she and some of her children were planning to go to.

I had to go to some other car to get something for my sister's trip. I went to the other car with my brother-in-law. It was a few rows away in the dirt parking lot.

The trunk or hatchback of the car was open, and my brother-in-law and I were looking inside. I had my computer opened up in the back of the car. I asked my brother-in-law to look up something on YouTube. It had to do with some pop-culture figure or figures, but it also had something to do with homosexuality.

My brother-in-law looked the thing up. I was now walking away from the car. I was now worried that somehow my brother-in-law would think I was trying to make some comment on my own sexuality by showing him that YouTube clip. (In waking life, even though I wouldn't say I'm gay, my sexuality is absolutely not normal. But I try to act as normal as possible when I'm in front of my family.)

I was back to sitting in the car with my sister. My sister now said that she was too sick, after all, to go to the event. For some reason, the whole family was now going, instead of just my sister, brother-in-law, and some of their kids. I was also going. Now only my sister wasn't going.

I felt bad, like maybe we shouldn't go at all if my sister wasn't going.

Dream #2

There may have been some situation where I had to take care of some task for a group of professionals. But I had messed it up somehow.

Later on, I was running from zombies. The zombies were pale white, with rotting faces. Most of the zombies wore button-up shirts, ties, and slacks.

I was running from the zombies through big corridors like mall-sized corridors that looked like hallways in a hospital. Everything was white, lit with greenish-white fluorescent light. Occasionally I would find myself in larger rooms.

Zombies would pop up everywhere and surprise me. They would almost catch me, and then they'd chase me through the corridors. I may also have been shooting some of them with a gun I had.

Eventually I found some way to jump way high, up to some high-up window. The window was swung open from its top. I floated down through the space. I found myself in some greenish-white-lit place that looked like a mix between a bowling alley and a hospital.

From all different places, a bunch of normal humans came into the bowling alley. Many of them were carrying guns. Some of them were wearing what I thought of as hunters' outfits -- beige vests and caps, flannel shirts, and khaki-like slacks. Many of the people were wary, on guard, waiting for more zombies to just spring up.

I was about to go to all the people. I thought I had found a group of people that I could be safe with. But as I approached them, they became suspicious of me, almost violent toward me. It was obvious that I wasn't a zombie, just like it was obvious that they weren't zombies. But they didn't care. They just didn't like me, and they didn't want me around.

So I walked away from them before even approaching them. I may have started walking down one of the bowling lanes, thinking I'd find a sneaky way to get through the building at the end of the lanes.

Suddenly I was fighting something, possibly zombies. There were gunshots everywhere. Explosions were blowing up the wood of the bowling lanes. I was turning back and shooting at whatever I was fighting.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I walked into a museum with a tourist family. Almost directly after the entrance there was a long, wide staircase made of pale, white stone. The family walked down the staircasw ahead of me, talking about how they had to meet another group of people. Once at the bottom of the staircase, the children (a boy and a girl?) sat on a step while the parents made a phone call to the other group.

As I reached the bottom of the steps, the family had ascertained that the other group wasn't coming until later. Either the mom or dad said, "Well, that gives us some time to do a few extra things first."

The family walked into the gift shop, which was a huge, open area in front of the staircase. The gift shop sold all kinds of things like toothpaste, shampoo, etc. I actually picked up some toothpaste and a toothbrush.

I was now in a big mall with my grandmother and some kids (my nephews?). The mall had highb ceilings of glass which revealed the deep blue night sky above. The mall was empty and half-lit, as if it were closed. At some point, we walked past what looked like a closed down, miniature amusement park. I may have seen a ferris wheel and some kind of structure of plastic tubing for kids to climb through.

Later, almost as if we were on a second visit to the mall, we all sat at a table in the food court. Down the corridor to my right I may have seen the mini amusement park, in shadoe. Another group of people sat a couple tables away from us. They spoke as if this mall's food court wasn't very good compared to another mall's food court.

I felt kind of ashamed at that remark, and I was trying to convince myself that I actually was in that other food court.

I was now out carrying logs in the snow. It was a sunny, cold day. The snow was deep, and it was hard to carry the logs. A little while later, I saw things from a third person view. A young boy was working really fast, in an almost cartoony way, carrying logs away from a pile in a shady area near a house into a sunny area. The boy didn't think anybody would ever believe he'd carried all these logs.

The boy dropped a couple smallish, wide logs into the snow. One of the logs was coated in ice. The boy then managed to move two 2-meter-long logs out into the snow. They looked like they were from a beech tree: they had smooth, silvery bark. They lay parallel to each other, a little sunk in the snow.

I now saw from the first person view again. I thought, looking at the two logs, of making some kind of Flintstones car, using the logs as wheels. I stood up onto the logs and tried to roll them with my feet, shouting, "Yabba-dabba-doo!" at the same time. But I probably realized that this wouldn't work, and I figured I needed a motor.

I was now standing on some long, pale-sea-green painted, sheet metal structure that looked like a mix between a gas powered generator and a wood chipper. I thought this would be a perfect engine for the Flintstones car I was making.

Just then, a blue-skinned zombie, possibly in a business suit, came growling and reaching at me. I was really scared. I jumped off the generator and ran toward the logs. I thought to myself, Why is that guy here? Is he being used for some kind of zombie-powered car?

I now had a vision of a commercial, apparently for a zombie car. But the imagery was just a black screen with a bunch of colored lettering advertising some law office. The commercial may have been targeting people who needed legal counsel following problems they may have had with their zombie cars.

The names of the lawyers were all really weird. One lawyer was named Technical Gee, as in Technical Genius. Another was named Society's Destruction. I was bemused, but not terribly shocked, that professionals were getting away with naming themselves things like this.

The final screen of the commercial stayed up, as if someone had just forgotten to turn it off. I now heard one of the lawyers talking about a presentation he was going to give at a conference. He told two other lawyers, in a Slim Shady kind of voice, "You know how I don't usually collaborate with you guys after this point. I just do me. But I got a surprise for you guys this time. This conference presentation, we're doing together."

Dream #2

I had just come from some bedroom, possibly in the house of a good friend of mine. I walked into the kitchen. I sat at the kitchen table.

My friend was taking a shower or something. His girlfriend stood at the counter, posing and mugging in a sexy way before a small mirror on the counter. The girl was really sexy, Asian, with long hair. She wore a little linen outfit that looked like a mix between some kind of lingerie and a baby's overalls-onesie outfit. The shoulder straps were foldy-ruffly. The outfit's bottom was enbroidered with purple roses, intertwined with green vines and leafs.

The girl was obviously posing to turn me on. It was working. But I didn't want to react, because I didn't want to betray my friend. But the girl really seemed to want me. It was exciting.

The girl, not getting a reaction, walked over to another mirror on the counter and began posing again. I walked up to her and said, "What's wrong?" The girl just gave me a pouty face in the mirror. I sat back down and said, "Are you worried that you're ugly? Well, you aren't. You're very pretty."

I thought for sure the girl would think I was into her. I thought shed'd come over and seduce me. I figured that that would be okay. Apparently, if the girl seduced me, the situation wouldn't involve any betrayal against my friend. I still felt a little nervous about the whole thing. But I figured if the girl seduced me, I wouldn't resist.

Dream #3

I was in the bathroom at my mom's ex-boyfriend's house. I was getting ready to take a shower. I was pulling stuff out of my backpack. I found some pot and some other drug that looked like a D-cell battery.

It suddenly occurred to me that someone, possibly my brother-in-law, had put drugs in my backpack. It wasn't good for me to have drugs in my backpack while I was visiting my family. If my brother-in-law got caught with any drugs near him, he'd be sent straight to jail.

It occurred to me that my brother-in-law had hid his own drugs on me while I was in town. I was mad. I didn't want to get in trouble just so he could avoid trouble. But I was also worried. I was wondering where the heck I could throw all this stuff away.

Dream #4

Some very professional looking man was outside on a snowy night. He may have been a weatherman addressing a TV camera. But he also may have been a co-worker of mine, talking to me on a cell phone.

The man was completely surprised that it was snowing. When someone told him the snow wouldn't stop for a while, he was even more surprised. He also seemed to be surprised that it would also be cold for a while after it stopped snowing.

Good morning, everybody. I'm not sure if the third and fourth dreams are two dreams or actually just one. But I think they are two.

Dream #1

I was in an office building with one of my old co-workers, CT. The floor we were on was very lonely. Everything was grey and dim, and it felt like it was under construction. And yet, it also had a hazy kind of romantic feeling to it, like in a Hong Kong movie from the 1990s.

I think either our company had just moved into this building or else our company was just starting up. CT and I were the first people to come to work in this building, other than our boss, who had just left. CT and I sat in the same group of cubicles in a little offshoot of the office floor right before the elevator bank. We sat back to back, a little bit caddy-corner, and set apart from each other by about 2 meters.

Work was getting a little bit boring. Suddenly, CT said, "Well, I'm going to cut out early for lunch. And I'm going to be gone for a while. I'm going to take my kid out to do a few things."

I was a little struck by how CT could just up and leave for a few hours so brazenly on our first day. But I figured I'd head to lunch as well. I had a bunch of stuff on top of my desk, including some really beautiful, silver netbook. I began piling all the stuff into one of my desk drawers so I could lock it up. I figured that since there was nobody on the floor to watch my stuff while I was gone, it would be a good idea to lock it up.

CT may have waited for a second while I was locking stuff up. She didn't lock any of her stuff up. She may have gotten impatient with me for locking my stuff up. I may possibly have decided not to lock up my stuff after all, just because I felt like I was slowing CT down. CT and I may have gone to the elevator bank together.

CT was now gone. I was either down in or imagining some mall-like area on the ground floor or basement of this building. It was a long, white corridor with a clear roof letting in cold, grey light from outside. The roof may have been gridded with a wood frame. It felt quiet and lonely, even though there were people around. At some point there may have been a ramp downward that now reminds me of some of the sloping floors and corridors in Grand Central Station.

Dream #2

There was a princess who looked like a mix between Tilda Swinton in Orlando and Geoffrey Rush (???). I think that sometimes she looked really pretty and then other times the Geoffrey Rush face took over, and then other times it was really a mix of both. The Princess had rich, red hair. She wore a big, red dress with gold designs on it.

The princess was by herself in a small chamber. The chamber had medieval furnishings, like in a painting of a scholar's chamber. The princess stood before a red curtain with gold designs on it. The atmosphere was silent. The princess suddenly froze and listened. I couldn't hear anything, but apparently the princess heard a lot.

There was some sort of plot against the princess, probably against her life altogether. She was listening closely to people talking a few rooms away about this plot.

Now the princess was in a room with a young man. The young man wore green pants, a flowing, white shirt, and some kind of tan, leather vest. He had jaw-length, curly hair, a broad, tan face, and a goatee. He sat at a table while the princess spoke to him either about some situation in her kingdom or about the danger she personally was in.

Suddenly the princess stopped talking and bent her ear to another curtain (again red and gold) to listen to sounds that were completely inaudible to me. The man couldn't hear anything, either, but he seemed to understand that the woman was in danger, or at least serious about her feelings of being in danger.

Dream #3

I was walking through some kind of clean, suburban neighborhood, even though I was apparently in New York City. It was a bright, sunny day.

I was walking toward some park at which I would be running a volunteer event. I was walking into a neighborhood with which I wasn't familiar, and even though the neighborhood looked really clean and nice, I was still afraid of being caught here alone. I walked up a long, swelling hill with a wide road and sidewalk. I went under the cool, blue shade of some trees.

For a little while, I looked down at my shadow. I was thinking to myself about the event I was heading to. It was at a park I was unfamiliar with. But, at the same time, this unfamiliar park was a park I always hosted volunteer events in.

I had been planning not to do this event, as I was pretty sure I'd never be able to find the park. But then I "remembered" a conversation with the woman headed park events at my regular park. It was like the "memory" was happening in the present, as if she were speaking to my via a "memory phone." She told me that the park was where it always had been, so I shouldn't have any trouble finding it.

Realizing that the woman from the old park would be at the new park, I figured I would do the event after all. One of the few things, I thought, that had kept me from doing this particular event had been the fact that this woman would not be there. But now she would be there, so I would do the event.

(At this point I may have woken up. I lay in bed and began reasoning with myself that the woman being at the event wouldn't be a reason for me to stay on a project in waking life. I like the woman, but I often feel kind of thrown to the side by her.)

Dream #4

Somewhere in a city at night, there was a small group of vampires. Everything was colored a deep red-orange. One vampire was a really sexy, punky looking girl with short, blonde hair in a square style. She wore a black leather jacket and a tight shirt with thin, horizontal stripes. She began talking about fighting.

I was now on a subway train, going above ground. It was still a dim, red-orange night. Pulling into a station, the train paused in front of what looked like some kind of rooftop basketball court for a high school. I saw it through a chainlink fence.

There was another group of vampires. These vampires were all dressed like ultra-moe girls, in extremely colorful and cartoony lolita dresses. One vampire girl in particular wore a vivid, pink dress with a wide, sapphire-blue ribbon at the waist. Under her skirt was a petticoat (? is that what they're called?) with tons of pale-pink lace. She wore a broad-brimmed, pink had with a bow on it, and she had her blonde hair in chunky ringlets.

I think one moe vampire girl (not the girl who stood out to me) was going to have to fight all the other girls by herself. I couldn't tell whether this was training for the girl from her friends, or whether the girl was actually fighting all the other vampires as enemies.

The girl had a gigantic length of rebar in her arms. I kind of identified with her at this point. The girls charged at her. She may have taken some kind of fighting posture.

Suddenly I was in a bright, fluorescent-lit room that was full of people. The room was kind of big. It was in some kind of school or recreation center. The room was right next to a huge cafeteria, which was also full of people.

All around me were black, teenage boys. One boy to my left tapped my shoulder to get my attention, as if I had been in some kind of really deep reverie. I looked at the boy. He looked a little older than his age. His face was kind of stubbly. He wore a grey and black sweater. He looked lonely, sad, and kind of dull.

I now kind of had the memory of the woman from the park (from the previous dream) talking to me in the cafeteria and telling me that the volunteer event wasn't scheduled to start for a while, so I should feel free to wander around, and then walking away from me.

The boys all around me asked me if I was okay. I told them I was. Most of them headed away. But two guys stuck near me. One was definitely a boy. But the other was so tall and worn-out and old looking that I thought he must have been the other boy's father. This guy asked me what I was doing here.

I told him that I was here with a volunteer group, and that we were going to do some kind of art project with all the kids here. The other volunteers had apparently not arrived yet. The two guys seemed to think I was cool. They lost interest in me and walked away, maybe waving at me as they left.

I was now in some room that seemed to be getting set up for an art exhibition. The place seemed to be in complete dissaray, with packing materials everywhere. Some moving guys were putting paintings up on walls.

One painting was already up on the wall to my right. It looked a bit like Jackson Pollock's "Stenographic Figures," (?) except that it was humongous, maybe 4 meters tall and 1.5 meters wide.

The painter, a tall, young, white man with a head of really frizzy, brown hair, stood before the painting. A camera crew was filming the young man for a kind of Reading Rainboy-esque educational TV show. The painter had some kind of miniature model of his painting near him somewhere, and he was using it as a sort of queue.

The young man said something like, "I work on my paintings a lot by instinct. And now-- I have the instinct to put one last touch on my painting. Right... here."

The painter squiggled a yellow line in the lower left quadrant of the picture. It was near a place in the painting that somehow looked like white stairsteps. The yellow looked like upside-down stairsteps, in a way. The painter filled in the yellow a bit more, but left some of the space with just the line.

The painter now pointed out how the squiggly yellow line echoed a part of the painting really close to the bottom left corner of the painting, and that that was why he had put it there. That made sense to me. But something about it also seemed artificial and hypocritical. The man was performing for the TV, but he was also rehearsing for when the kids and volunteers came by. I thought, How much thought does this guy give his work, if he can just paint over it at whim whenever he's standing with a group in front of what's supposedly a finished product?

Nevertheless, I thought it was really cool to have seen this young man in person. He was pretty well known in some circles of the art world. For some reason I thought I would contact my brother and let him known I'd seen this guy.

I was now walking back into the cafeteria, which was just swarming with people. As I walked into the room, two women on roller skates passed me. One was a younger woman, maybe a schoolgirl. The other was probably older, maybe close to being old enough to be the girl's mom.

Both girls wore very small, moe-maid-style dresses. Passing me, the older woman bent over a lot, revealing her rear end to me. I was pretty sure that I saw that she was wearing diapers. She also seemed to be wearing a pair of dark purple panties over the diapers. I couldn't quite believe my eyes. I looked again, but the woman had already stood back up.

I walked through the huge crowd of people. As I did, I saw the rollerskate girls skating in the distance, past wide doorways on the cafeteria wall to my right. The younger girl may have been pushing the woman.

Dream #5

I was in a big, empty room like a dance studio with a big, wooden floor. The room was clean and full of pale, bright daylight.

In the center of the room a female interviewer sat in a chair. Before her, Sigmund Freud sat on a green (velvet?) sofa. He didn't recline on the sofa. He actually sat on its edge. The sofa was on a nice (oval?) rug. The interviewer's chair may possibly have been on the rug as well.

Freud looked like a mix between his young, strong self, and his older self. He was slimmer than his younger self, and his face had the older, wiser look. But he didn't look ravaged by cancer at all. Freud wore a nice, but kind of modern-looking, tan suit. The interviewer may have worn a feminine-looking, tan suit.

Freud sat with his hands folded between his legs. He began talking about life with cancer. He said that the worst part of cancer wasn't the cancer itself, or even having to lose parts of your body to cancer.

"The worst part," Freud said, "is all the stuff you have to go through to get rid of the cancer. And then, once you've gone through it all, you go along for a little while, and then you find out you have cancer again. You have to go through the process all over again."

Freud began listing off all the cancer therapy processes one had to go through. They sounded progressively worse, until finally said, "But maybe I should stop talking about this. It's getting too depressing."

(Side note, 1/22/11, 7:13 PM -- I just got back from watching two movies in Manhattan. One was the anime Evangelion 2.0. The other was an Indian film called Dhobi Ghat.

Both films are excellent. Evangelion is like a Bible to me, so I can't really comment impartially on that one. But Dhobi Ghat is freaking amazing, one of the few great movies I've seen in years.

One of the key moments in Dhobi Ghat involves an artist unpacking his paintings. Both the art style and the unpacking of paintings are very similar to the images from dream #4 above. In addition, the artist in my dream looked very much like the character Peace (?) in the film.

I believe that I kind of previewed the film images in my dream. I seem to have wacky precognitive moments like this occasionally. I guess everybody does. I wish they could be about something more useful. But even when they're pretty useless, like this, they're still fun.)

Good morning, everybody. I feel lousy today. I think I've caught another cold. Ugh!

I remember two dreams from last night. I feel like the first dream is only a fragment. Also, the second dream occurred between 5 AM, when I woke (and saw I still had some time to sleep) and 5:30 AM, when I got out of bed.

Dream #1

I had been walking around at night with my friend T. She had spoken with me about something like the two of us having sex.

We ended up at some place. We were in a bedroom. The bedroom was lit only with the glow of a TV. The room seemed to be split in two halves by a partition or wall. We were in the half with the bed. The floor of this half seemed to be set down lower than the floor of the other half.

I lay on my back on the bed. T straddled me from above. We may both have been naked. Then suddenly I was wearing baby diapers. I may have been an adult wearing baby diapers at first. But then I was actually a little baby, being changed by T.

Dream #2

I stood out in the parking lot of a mall during the daytime with an older man and possibly some younger men and women. The older man was probably tall, wearing nice clothes and dark-tinted eyeglasses. I may have been a child's height, coming up only to the man's waist, even though I seemed to think like myself at my present age.

The man was holding a huge, black, plastic gun that looked like it was from a cartoon. The barrel swelled out and in, like the sections of a wasp's body. The man asked me where I had gotten this gun. I was holding a similar, smaller gun.

I told the man I had gotten it at "The Anime Shop." I had gotten it for some girl who really liked anime. I saw the girl in my mind's eye. She was a Latina friend of mine.

I told the man I could show him where The Anime Shop was. I could see an "address" for the shop. It think it had the numbers 44 and 45 in it.

We walked into the mall. The corridor we were in was lit red. It seemed to have a jungle theme to it. There were stores in the middle of the corridor as well as along the walls. These stores looked like wooden huts in odd shapes. We had to wind our way around them.

I kept looking around for The Anime Shop. I had been pretty sure it was down this corridor. But we were now approaching the end of the corridor. Through glass doors I at first saw what looked like the interior of a really nice department store. But as we got much closer to the glass doors I saw that beyond them was actually another corridor, this one looking more like a normal mall's corridor. I may even have seen a TCBY (???).

I felt bad because I had led the older man all the way down the wrong corridor. I now realized that The Anime Shop was in a parallel but separate corridor. I knew we'd have to walk through the regular part of the mall to get there. But I didn't know if the older man would trust me any longer to guide him there.

Good morning, everybody. I've had zero dream recall recently. But I remember this dream from last night.

Dream #1

I was in a cafeteria in the basement of a building. I had gotten food from a salad bar. I had a lot of food on my plate.

Now I was at the salad bar again, as if the whole scene were starting over. I had a plate. I was walking along the "salad bar," which was more like an open-faced refrigerator section for displaying drinks at a deli.

I heaped some lettuce and mushrooms onto my plate. I put some other kind of vegetable onto my plate. I lay a couple of long ears of baby corn by the lettuce. I also had some other kind of food by the baby corn.

Feeling the plate, I thought I had gotten too much food. The cafeteria would charge by the pound. This plate was heavy. It would cost me a lot of money. So I decided to put back the baby corn.

At this point I may have had a double-vision, as if my consciousness were in two places at once. I was still in the cafeteria, getting my food, or walking to the register to pay for my food. But I was also sat down in some long, glass-ceilinged corridor eating my food.

(The cafeteria itself had an eating area, I'm pretty sure, just past the registers. But the area I ate at seemed like it was in a different place altogether.)

I hunched over my food at the edge of a long, communal table that looked kind of like a big picnic table. A lot of people passed by me. I may have been in the hallway of a mall. The sunlight was pretty strong coming in through the glass ceiling. To my right, maybe 10 meters away, was a red cinder block walled elevator bank.

The speakers were playing "a U2 song," which may have sounded like "Vertigo." The lyrics said something about how everybody always said bad things about the Internet, but how Bono thought it was great, because it was like the Mona Lisa of porn.

Good morning. This dream is kind of weird. I think it's also just a fragment.

I was in a busy mall full of people. The mall had a lot of very narrow corridors, rather than a few wide corridors. The storefronts may have been small and packed with items like tall posters or stands made to look like anime charcters. The place was extremely packed with people.

I knew this was a "fetish mall," a mall filled only with stores catering to people's various fetishes. I had been here before (possibly in the first part of this dream, which I may have forgotten).

An attractive, young woman poked her head out of one of the storefronts. She was pale, with long, brown hair, a blue or green t-shirt, and blue jeans.

She asked me some question about the store she was about to go into, something about whether the fetish comics in the store were appropriate for women as well as men. I told her that it was fine if she wanted to read them. She nodded and popped her head back into the store.

I continued walking through the crowds of people. I wondered either why a woman would want to read fetish comics made for men or why a woman would ask permission to do so, especially permission from some person she didn't even know, like me.

I turned left, into another fetish store. The inside of this store was huge. It seemed like a big bookstore, but it had other stuff in it. I think it actually may have looked like a cross between a bookstore and a dollar store.

I didn't look around very much. This place wasn't as crowded as the corridor had been, but it was still very busy. Plus, I felt like I was going somewhere with purpose. I felt like my feet were walking, almost gliding, toward a certain place on their own. But I also felt like I knew where I was going, like I'd been there before.

I felt like one of the higher ups at my old job, a woman who in waking life had been extremely supportive of me, was following me. I then felt like a lot of people were following me, mostly people I'd known from work.

I walked down a staircase that had a sign above it. The sign was white with red capital letters. It listed the items being sold below.

I was downstairs. It looked like a department store, a cheap department store. There were some displays showing bed sets, some displays showing living room sets, and some displays showing toilets. Sometimes all the stuff was mixed together.

A woman off to my right caught my attention. She was maybe in her late 50s or early 60s. She had red hair, tanned skin, and thin eyes. She wore a blue dress. Her hair was arranged a little weird, almost shoulder length, but permed out to one side, so she looked lopsided.

The woman directed me into an area full of lingerie. She intended for me to try on certain items. I wondered if that would be alright. After all, would they really want a guy touching that stuff, especially if he didn't intend to buy it?

The area the woman led me into was a big, red room. There was nothing, or very little, in the room. There were dressing rooms along the right wall.

We walked past a table of black and red underwear. They looked kind of satiny and lacy. A sign over them said "2 for $5." I thought maybe I should buy a pair of these right now to wear while I was trying on this other stuff the older woman had for me. That seemed polite to me somehow. But I decided instead to wear my own boxer briefs while I tried stuff on. But I felt bad about that, as if it were rude of me.

The woman stood me in front of a dressing room. She began showing me different articles of underwear. She went into great detail on their design, showing all kinds of things like stitching. But I really wasn't interested in this. The more I looked at the panties, the more they somehow looked to be made out of the same fabric as basketball jerseys.

The woman now showed me a pair of panties that she said were made with padding. I couldn't figure out why they'd need padding -- maybe to give women a better shape? I looked at them. They looked like a mix between underwear and diapers.

The woman told me to feel the padding. So I did. It looked like the inside of a diaper. But it felt like bags of sand, like the tiny sand bags in weight-exercise bracelets.

I looked at the underwear again. They looked like a mix between Ace Bandages and diapers. The price was written in pencil on the bottom: $19.50. I thought, That's a bit much, for something I'm never actually going to wear.

The woman said, "This pair is the first thing I'd like you to try on." She motioned me into a dressing room stall.

The stall was barely large enough to fit me. It was dimly lit. I was mostly undressed, except my underwear. I thought I'd keep them on. But now I had nothing on. I was holding the diaper-thing in my hand. I was looking for all my clothes.

Now I had nothing at all. I was trying to figure where I'd put everything. Now I realized I'd actually thrown everything over the dividing-wall between stalls. The dividing-wall was just above my head. I reached over to discover the other stall packed with clothes, all the way to the top of the divider.

I kept reaching over the divider, trying to find my clothes. I even tried to find the diaper-thing figuring that that article of clothing was almost mine anyway, and that it was better than nothing. But I kept pulling up completely unknown articles of clothing. All this time, the changing stall may have gotten smaller and smaller.