Searching For The Center of Everything

[Monday, November 19th, 2012]
(Plenty of dreams, but I don't remember most of them. I finally decided to jump up and record the last one for once.)

The last thing I remember- I'm in Bashas with a bunch of other kids from school. I decide to go steal something while no one is looking since I'm hungry. I go to the Pharmacy section but notice kids surrounding the area. I instead turn around and head for the deli section. People are here too. I hear someone ask, "Do you prefer raw raspberries or blueberries? ... Raspberries." And then Cassidy Solpher asks, "Does anyone want to try some of my home cooked meal? It's fully cooked but I can't eat any yet." I then started eating a warm pasta off a shelf, there was beef, alfredo sauce, big long noodles, and mushrooms.

<I woke up.>

[Wednesday, October 10th, 2012]
I remember singing "In The Company of Wolves" with Nathan and Alex.

<That's it for recall.>

(Later, I remember being inside of a strange building and outside meeting with smaller kids. There was baseball being played around me but I only remember faint impressions of it being something like a school or private school to be more exact.)

[Thursday, October 4th, 2012]
(I had dreams before this, but this is the latest that I remember.)

I'm at school. It's a school in downtown city. Me, Alex, Alex's Mum and a few other people stayed after school had
ended to accomplish some goal. There's an emergency and we stayed despite it. We needed some kind of information
maybe? We park in one spot in a parking garage-like area and trace our steps to the front door. We get inside.
<memory fades>

We're headed back out- apparently someone (the second in comand of the school) stayed all night too and is nearby.
Somehow people might know we're here. We panic and try to get out without getting caught. On the way out,
everyone seems to have forgotten where we parked. I point in the right direction to the right.
Alex's Mom: "Oh yeah, I know."
She doesn't sound as hateful to me. But she still sounds slightly unhappy. I'm thankful for this nonetheless.
We trot through the parking lot road the leads to an alleyway. Me and Alex's Mom have a small but relatively friendly
conversation on the way there. We're just about to enter an alleyway when I notice... I'm missing shoes! The alleyway
is dirt mostly. Halfway through- We walk through some deep wet mud and I get my pants dirty.
"Ugh." Everyone sympathizes with me. "Don't worry, there's some water up ahead I can wash myself off with."
I'm going to have to wash my feet since we're getting in Alex's Mom's car. I roll up my pants and walk through
semi-deep water. I shake my feet a few times to get as much of the mud off as possible. We get to the car and my
memory skips. I just remember feeling my ears, and they were pierced again. (They aren't in waking life anymore.)

We're heading to the mall now. We stop at a store before this to let everyone use the bathroom.
It's a small ripoff ToysRUs store. I walk around and look at the clothes first. I have no money and I want to steal
something so bad, but I have no big pockets. I'd have to wear it out. I plan a robbery in the back of my mind. Then at
least I wouldn't look like shit for the mall.

Kids surround me while I look. They're extremely loud for me. A few approach me and ask me questions. I ignore
them for the most part and keep browsing. On the center circle rack, there's lots of "plaid overshirts" in really neat
colors. Some are soft... some are thick like giant thick coats. Almost like my red coat! I keep looking and find a few
tanktops. One tanktop I find isn't really my cup of tea... it looks almost like an ugly orange+green mud color. It doesn't
fit me either, so I take it back off. It was an "M", I noticed.

The kids repeatedly question me. I don't mind them too much and I answer them and talk to them. After awhile
though, I start to play with them. One plays hide-and-seek tag with me or something. I hide in the clothes rack that I've
been browsing and note that you'd have to bend down to even see my feet! Now hidden, I notice a kid running in
circles around the rack. I reach out and try to grab him or something, but he ends up knocking the entire rack over on
me. "SHIT, KID!" I suddenly become aware of all the security guards and managers in the area. They're walking
towards this area. Fuck.

I head away. I go to the Toddler section where Kid's are playing on a little slide and laughing. I feel extremely out of
place, and some parents are watching anyways... I head away and see kids everywhere, but gravitate towards the
arcade machines. There's one big game... and a few beyond it... well that's disappointing. I turn to my left and see a
whole line of machines. I think, "WHOA, that's better. But these machines probably don't have the same system as
Castles and Coasters... I wouldn't be able to win anything very high in tickets then anyways."

I head back to the area where I was going to shoplift. I'm now cautious of the one security guard that's standing by the
door. I also observe that there probably isn't any shoplifting detectors near the door. My attention returns to the
clothes. The circle rack is now missing. Go figure. I notice some racks on the wall with folded clothes. These look like
they're more expensive. They must be, because they all look amazing. A couple kids show up again and start talking to
me. I think they know now what I'm up to- but they want to help me. They run off somewhere, while I keep looking.
I see a new item that I didn't see before!

A Black and Red tanktop- it's a black tanktop with trippy red designs of fire on acid. The armpit doesn't even go down
that low. I love it! I make sure it's my size. I find a few "M"s and "XL"s... then finally a "L".
I find some boxers that match the tanktop.
I find some nice soft white socks... and some shorter black ones too! I stuff the white ones in my pocket.
I find quite a few REALLY nice plaid overshirts... I check the sizes first. These would be easier to steal... but maybe I
could wear some of these over the tanktop!
I find some a couple plaid overshirts of really neat colors that stand out. One has Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, and
maybe Blue. One has something similar, but with less colors, and blackish or whiteish sleeves. The sleeves have fancy,
silver, flower-like curves and garnish. I might rip those off. But they do look interesting. I see some really nice pants
too that look really comfortable. I take my muddy pants off and begin the process. They won't notice pants being
different, I hope. After my pants are already off and I'm in some gym-shorts or something, I glance over at the door
security guard. He looks distracted by many other things besides me. But I'm still in his line of sight. At that moment,
he walks away towards some kids crying. The two kids must have done the job!

I try to slip back into my muddy pants for a moment when I see other people walking towards me. The manager is
coming. Oh fuck! I get my pants half-on when he arrives and he's with a security guard. They joke around as if they
were kids and start shooting imaginary guns at me. I play along and pretend to get shot up like I used to when I was a
kid. I hit the ground and they continue. Then the manager walks up to me and shoots me in the mouth.

"Haha, I guess I have a tongue piercing now." I joke. We all laugh.
If anyone responds to this verbally, I don't remember it. I think to myself... if I were shot like that or stabbed like that
for real, I'd be bleeding out pretty bad.

<I wake up.>

[Saturday, September 8th, 2012]
I was in the neighborhood around my Grandma's headed to the High School. The world had a more sinister Nightmare Before Christmas feel. It was midnight and noon at the same time... time didn't exist. I was walking down the street towards school, people bustling back and forth, but never really there. I arrived at the Middle School this time, and I remember Mrs. Cole saying something to another teacher that made me remember her and miss her. I was suddenly aware that I didn't belong there, and I became semi-lucid, not exactly aware that it was a dream, but with control over the reality. I had a single flat bar in my hand, and I knew what it was for. I could defy gravity and fly with it, just by willing it. I began to show off in front of a few kids to guage their reactions. I'd grab onto it and hold myself up and jump, soaring through the air. Or I'd just hover there, and few feet above the ground. I was right outside a classroom, and I could be seen through the door's window. A few more kids showed up and then a teacher or two. I got tired of being watched so closely, so I jumped and glided in a different direction. I was headed out of the school towards the main road. I passed by a familiar man, in the guise of a janitor. He didn't even look at me. (Was he the same man I'd seen at the Graveyard in my "The Underground Club" dream?) ~ My memory skips to the next dream.

+

I'm in a shallow canyon, like a shorter Box Canyon, and I'm making my way through it with some people. It's all very vague. It's faded from my memory... but we all made it to the very end, and there's a room. A party. People have filled it. I stay for awhile.

After that "awhile", I notice the party emptying out, save for a few stubborn on-goers, including myself. I suggest we push the tables together and have a smaller after-party. We all sit down, and I recognize some of the people... but their specificity turns to smoke in my waking state. I suddenly hear a noise and look up. A host has arrived... but to crash the party. My intuition makes me up and walk out the door with such speed. Behind me, lightning flows from the host into the rest of the people. They are all horribly disfigured and turned into things of horror and evil. I wake up as soon as I'm outside again. I was a hair close to being "changed".

(This nightmare figure is now reoccurring. I'll have to face him eventually. The first thing to ask is, "Who are you?" )

+

Now I'm in a mixture of Nathan's room and the room we had previously partied in. Alex is asleep on a couch, and Nathan is too. I roam around Nathan's house for awhile and return. I interact with Alex somehow... then my dream turns to dust.