Searching For The Center of Everything

[Thursday, October 4th, 2012]
(I had dreams before this, but this is the latest that I remember.)

I'm at school. It's a school in downtown city. Me, Alex, Alex's Mum and a few other people stayed after school had
ended to accomplish some goal. There's an emergency and we stayed despite it. We needed some kind of information
maybe? We park in one spot in a parking garage-like area and trace our steps to the front door. We get inside.
<memory fades>

We're headed back out- apparently someone (the second in comand of the school) stayed all night too and is nearby.
Somehow people might know we're here. We panic and try to get out without getting caught. On the way out,
everyone seems to have forgotten where we parked. I point in the right direction to the right.
Alex's Mom: "Oh yeah, I know."
She doesn't sound as hateful to me. But she still sounds slightly unhappy. I'm thankful for this nonetheless.
We trot through the parking lot road the leads to an alleyway. Me and Alex's Mom have a small but relatively friendly
conversation on the way there. We're just about to enter an alleyway when I notice... I'm missing shoes! The alleyway
is dirt mostly. Halfway through- We walk through some deep wet mud and I get my pants dirty.
"Ugh." Everyone sympathizes with me. "Don't worry, there's some water up ahead I can wash myself off with."
I'm going to have to wash my feet since we're getting in Alex's Mom's car. I roll up my pants and walk through
semi-deep water. I shake my feet a few times to get as much of the mud off as possible. We get to the car and my
memory skips. I just remember feeling my ears, and they were pierced again. (They aren't in waking life anymore.)

We're heading to the mall now. We stop at a store before this to let everyone use the bathroom.
It's a small ripoff ToysRUs store. I walk around and look at the clothes first. I have no money and I want to steal
something so bad, but I have no big pockets. I'd have to wear it out. I plan a robbery in the back of my mind. Then at
least I wouldn't look like shit for the mall.

Kids surround me while I look. They're extremely loud for me. A few approach me and ask me questions. I ignore
them for the most part and keep browsing. On the center circle rack, there's lots of "plaid overshirts" in really neat
colors. Some are soft... some are thick like giant thick coats. Almost like my red coat! I keep looking and find a few
tanktops. One tanktop I find isn't really my cup of tea... it looks almost like an ugly orange+green mud color. It doesn't
fit me either, so I take it back off. It was an "M", I noticed.

The kids repeatedly question me. I don't mind them too much and I answer them and talk to them. After awhile
though, I start to play with them. One plays hide-and-seek tag with me or something. I hide in the clothes rack that I've
been browsing and note that you'd have to bend down to even see my feet! Now hidden, I notice a kid running in
circles around the rack. I reach out and try to grab him or something, but he ends up knocking the entire rack over on
me. "SHIT, KID!" I suddenly become aware of all the security guards and managers in the area. They're walking
towards this area. Fuck.

I head away. I go to the Toddler section where Kid's are playing on a little slide and laughing. I feel extremely out of
place, and some parents are watching anyways... I head away and see kids everywhere, but gravitate towards the
arcade machines. There's one big game... and a few beyond it... well that's disappointing. I turn to my left and see a
whole line of machines. I think, "WHOA, that's better. But these machines probably don't have the same system as
Castles and Coasters... I wouldn't be able to win anything very high in tickets then anyways."

I head back to the area where I was going to shoplift. I'm now cautious of the one security guard that's standing by the
door. I also observe that there probably isn't any shoplifting detectors near the door. My attention returns to the
clothes. The circle rack is now missing. Go figure. I notice some racks on the wall with folded clothes. These look like
they're more expensive. They must be, because they all look amazing. A couple kids show up again and start talking to
me. I think they know now what I'm up to- but they want to help me. They run off somewhere, while I keep looking.
I see a new item that I didn't see before!

A Black and Red tanktop- it's a black tanktop with trippy red designs of fire on acid. The armpit doesn't even go down
that low. I love it! I make sure it's my size. I find a few "M"s and "XL"s... then finally a "L".
I find some boxers that match the tanktop.
I find some nice soft white socks... and some shorter black ones too! I stuff the white ones in my pocket.
I find quite a few REALLY nice plaid overshirts... I check the sizes first. These would be easier to steal... but maybe I
could wear some of these over the tanktop!
I find some a couple plaid overshirts of really neat colors that stand out. One has Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, and
maybe Blue. One has something similar, but with less colors, and blackish or whiteish sleeves. The sleeves have fancy,
silver, flower-like curves and garnish. I might rip those off. But they do look interesting. I see some really nice pants
too that look really comfortable. I take my muddy pants off and begin the process. They won't notice pants being
different, I hope. After my pants are already off and I'm in some gym-shorts or something, I glance over at the door
security guard. He looks distracted by many other things besides me. But I'm still in his line of sight. At that moment,
he walks away towards some kids crying. The two kids must have done the job!

I try to slip back into my muddy pants for a moment when I see other people walking towards me. The manager is
coming. Oh fuck! I get my pants half-on when he arrives and he's with a security guard. They joke around as if they
were kids and start shooting imaginary guns at me. I play along and pretend to get shot up like I used to when I was a
kid. I hit the ground and they continue. Then the manager walks up to me and shoots me in the mouth.

"Haha, I guess I have a tongue piercing now." I joke. We all laugh.
If anyone responds to this verbally, I don't remember it. I think to myself... if I were shot like that or stabbed like that
for real, I'd be bleeding out pretty bad.

<I wake up.>

[Thursday, September 13th, 2012]
<dream fragment>
I'm in a darkened city street. The sky is a confused, smoky watercolor. Fire's litter the city, buildings burn like candles. What I'd like to call "the apocalypse" has hit- a tank is driving past. The military is exterminating a threat... It's hard to tell who they feel is a threat... so I hide myself from sight atop of a ruined building's wall. They drive past and that's the end of them for now. There is still a society here, just not as open as before. I climb down from my perch and notice a few other's like me. I flow down the street, in a haze, and with no sure goal in mind. After awhile of walking, I fade to another dream-

+

My (Dad) is helping Alex practice her driving test with me and my brothers in the back seat. We're driving around a Mall/Walmart's parking lot as she does her rounds, and practices parking. The sky is a normal white-ish blue. My brothers are extremely impatient towards Alex, unlike me... but they don't have the same relationship as I do. I'm sitting in the very right back seat, and we finally park somewhere. We all get out and go inside and... <memory skips>

I'm sitting with my brothers, some annoying old lady, and Alex and Juan on a couch in the mall by the entrance. My Dad walks up and sees Juan and misunderstands what's going on and says with a testing grin- "Oh hey there little man, you should come with me, I got somethin' to show you." I'm glad my Dad has a problem with Alex's ex, I guess, but it's embarrassing in a Alex's Mom kind of way (can't explain this, you'll just have to KNOW). Then he walks away and Juan gets up and walks to the door. Alex chases after Juan and I watch this, confused as shit. I get up and follow and Alex tells me that that was extremely rude of Dad. She looks very... attatched to Juan. I looked down at a piece of paper on the ground and it said, "Forever my red highs on your blue skies." There was another line that I can't recall. I sat there for a second and tried to remember all the words so I could walk up to Alex and Juan and recite it to judge their reaction. When I got their my dream vanished and I awoke.

(What the paper said was beautiful and sweet... and at first I figured it came from Juan, but it expressed how I felt about Alex. It also may have been a reference to "Hot Air Balloon" by Owl City.)

[Tuesday, September 11th, 2012]
There's a mall, which I assume is Prescott Mall, and I walk around it along with all the bustling people. I enter stores now and then, but my memory is pretty lame here. I walk outside I'm at Prescott still, but now it's an ocean dock-town scene. [**2**] Along the building, there's a rotting-wood walkway built above the water. There are restaraunts on the right-side and the ocean is to the left- but I pay the horizon no attention. (It was sunset at the time and I'm sure I missed the most beautiful scene...) Straight ahead, I follow the walkway to a door and follow it in. <My memory is empty of this room.> I emerge back out. Someone goes to a wall with three white vertical buttons- (like a vertical line that's fragmented into three short lines.) and he walks through the wall. It's a hidden Gambling Bar. I'm sure there's a cardgame inside. I press my hand through the middle button and I can see from the other side... It's a wall of the universe... with a painting of a woman cut into three sections (just like the line). (The wall goes forever, left and right, up and down, and it's filled with countless other symbols and paintings and ideas and markins and notes and thoughts of the human collective consciousness or maybe something more?) My hand emerges on the otherside of the wall from her chest, by her neck. I slide my hand back out with a little disappointment that I couldn't get in. Suddenly I realize this dock is a hidden workers-only area. I'm dressed in a similar uniform now and I grab a giant rug with a big picture or advertisement on it and roll it up and begin walking with it on my shoulder. I get funny suspicious looks from passerbys and workers, but no one stops me. I must look like I know what I'm doing, at least. My idea works! I get inside and drop the rug on the floor in a random spot where it seems to fit, and walk away casually. (My memory ends- I must have woken up here then fallen back asleep into the next dream.)

+

I faintly remember there being a drawer with a coupon in it for free Subway. Someone grabbed it out and used it before I could...My real dream recall starts in... I'm hungry and I want some fast food. I don't have any money whatsoever, but I have a strange feeling that makes me leave. I drive my Grandma's truck through town, having trouble sterring and keeping in the lines, but eventually I make it to the intersection of town just before the underpass. The world is dark, with the feeling of a calmed Zombie Apocalypse (as if the world has ended and this is the last safe haven, or its the end of the worst parts of the end... if you know what I mean. It's not neccesarily the plot as it is the 'mood') Passing by the actual intersection, I see flashing red and blue lights to the right towards Hassyampa School. I also hear faint police sirens everywhere. I see no cars. I keeping driving the dark streets, thinking about my lack of money and see more lights and hear more sounds. Come to think about it... the truck is silent. I can hear noises behind me coming from the Theatre. I ignore all these sounds as "my imagination running rampant", but I'm still worried about the police. I make it to the bridge and notice its MUCH bigger and longer than in reality. (I've already missed so many Dream signs. Damn.) The sky is puke dark rain. I cross the bridge without thinking again about it. I pass the unbuilt ruins of McDonalds and then Subway, and then suddenly there's flashing police lights behind me. Just then, I notice how bad I've been driving- swerving constantly. I try turning into Country Kitchen's parking lot with much difficulty, completely missing the first turn and barely making the second. I pull in and I'm halfway off the road when a curb appears in front of me. I'm stuck, and I glance over my shoulder to make sure the police are actually pulling me over. They are. I'm worried this might get me in even more trouble... I try reversing, but the car only moves forward. I press the brake more... I still move forward a bit. I'm confused more than panicked now, but I keep at the break, afraid to go flying over the curb if I let go. Suddenly, the officers are helping me in a strange way. The truck vanishes, and all I have is the shifter and the brake in my hands... there's also a yellow and black caution-striped half-tent above mine and the cop's head. I'm holding the brake down, as I shift into reverse, then I let go of the brake and walk backwards.

Next thing I know, I'm inside Country Kitchen- or at least a beat-up diner with the lights dimmed. It's filled with young people around my age, give or take. There's a bar to the left of me with a lone girl... there are tables and chairs and booths to the right of that. A bald cop follows me in and begins to babble about something to the whole restaraunt. I don't understand what he's trying to say- but I listen anyways. He sounds drunk or crazy. I dismiss him politely, after listening, and I forget he exists. I find someone who I feel like I "know"... but I don't remember anything specific about them. I approach her and she turns around and it's RUKIA! "Rukia!" I exclaim. She acknowledges me with slightly less enthusiasm. We converse about something before getting back to the matter at hand; FOOD. (I try not to be rude, but I hint that I have no money and that I'm hungry.) She suggests one way to get food:"Go look in the drawer at home, and there's a ticket-"Already used it- it's already used." I interrupt her "Hmm... well I guess if you wait a bit, I could help. I'm kind of waiting for something right now, though." (She replies something like that.) I understand this as her needing to find a nearby Hollow still. It's at this time my attention shifts to the bathroom doors. The bathrooms are straight ahead from the entrance on the left, past the bar. I get impatient after my attention returns, so I decide to speed up the process. Rukia is still just waiting on the Hollow...

I might not do this normally, but I know I can. I remember listening to "binaural beats" earlier that day... specifically the one that would open your third eye chakras. The whole day before that, I had an unruly sense of strange things too. My intuition is top-notch right now. I walk around the restaurant and try to find the Hollow- it has to be one of these people. I approach a couple: dismiss them, walk up to a filled table: not them, pass by a booth of teenagers: they're normal... then I reach the bar. It's this person! Their hair is a dark, dirty purple. It's a tangled mess that hangs over their face. I grab them by the arm and confirm it with their level of shock and resistance."It was YOU! AHA! I knew it was you!" I say with conviction, but letting my excitement get the best of me. I pull the Hollow-in-human-form to the back and disappear behind the bathroom swinging doors. Rukia gives me a blank stare. She's surprised but understands. Inside the bathroom, the Hollow slips out of my grip and shrinks, vanishing into the planked floor through a broken gap.... just like a mouse. I look closer, there's a pool of dirty water underneath these planks. The bathroom is very strange. (I'll have to illustrate it. [**3**]) But in the first room, I set my black dufflebag with red symbols on it down on the bathroom counter. The second two rooms ahead are bathrooms complete with... only urinals and planks for flooring. Below them, I can see dirty water again. The right planked-room is the one with the missing chunks of wood, and where the Hollow escaped. The left planked room has no missing wood, but a rusty blue steam-pipe wheel on the ground in the center of the room. I need to follow the Hollow, but I won't crawl down there unless the water is gone. I realize that the blue wheel must drain the water! I turn it clockwise, a little bit at a time... and it's working! The water starts to descend very slowly. Gradually as I turn, and the level descends, the rusty blue wheel crumbles and chips until its nothing but a metal stub with nothing to grip. I stand up and walk to the right planked room. The water is still there, but I can get underneath the planks without getting too wet now. I crawl down and can go under the wall to the next room. I stand up and I'm now in a room that turns to my right and follows a hallway. The water's up to my feet and its very dim in here. Trash floats along the dirty water.

<memory skips>

I was so close to finding that Hollow! It must have gotten away, because I didn't remember actually doing it. I think Rukia needs to know now- maybe she can help. She should understand if it got away. We'll find it again the next time it strikes. But what if she was trusting me? Testing me? Oh well. I walk out a door at the end of the sewer-like hallway to the left and it leads outside. There's no one. The world is empty. I walk back inside, heart-racing, then stop myself. I decide to use the front entrance this time to avoid getting wet again. My vision hangs back while I run ahead.

There's a figure crouching on the roof watching me, in all black.
"Finally, the Father of this World has returned."

I get back inside to the bathroom, where I set my black dufflebag- but it's been turned into a beige purse. I dig through it for something that'll help. I pull out a tin of Mentoids and pop one in my mouth. Memories of these mints rush through my mind... but they aren't the same as they used to be. The taste is dull and unfulfilling. I dig for more and find an Ipod... I'm sort of relieved, if I'm stuck in this World, I'll at least have music. Or even better, maybe I can use binaural beats to wake my out of this World. Wait- I'm drea-

(I wake up... and stretch... clinging on to what little dream recall I had at the time. I stopped and lied still for a moment to hang on to it, before typing this.)