Searching For The Center of Everything

[Thursday, October 11th, 2012]
(I had just fallen asleep from waking up the first time. Before this dream, I had the Carnival dream.)

There was an odd man and a teary-eyed child walking up a quiet path to a large cave.
At the top of the path, the man shoves the kid inside, after stripping his clothes off and assures him, "It'll be all right, go inside. I'm going to help you. This has to be done."
The bare child has no choice, really. He lacks sureness in his feet, as he walks into the cave, almost as if he's afraid to fall from a cliff. It was so dark, you really couldn't tell if there was a dropoff or not. The kid takes a little, but now he's in the center of the cave. You can see him hunched into a ball somewhere in the dark with your dim nightvision that no one else but us has. The man wants to do this where no one will find them.

Suddenly- I'm the boy. I see nothing but pitchblack. The light from outside doesn't enter this cave. "I'm coming in~" a whisper violates the silence, but is carried along like a screaming wind. I take a step backwards- but I hear my footsteps crunch in the sand a few times. I stop and listen- I hear
a "crunch... crunch... crunch... crunch..." at such an irregular beat. Something is different now and off- my skin began to crawl. The cool air suddenly became so cold, it hurt my skin. The crunching is growing closer and closer and closer. It had to be less than a yard away... I throw up my hands in pure terror in a pathetic attempt at self-defense. I touched nothing- just waved my arms around quietly.

Then someone SEIZES my hands violently and shoved them down to my side. They lean their face closer to mine. I became semi-lucid- just in time to witness some... THING... with a sunken face staring at me dead in the eyes with soulless milky-black charcoal eyes. The face quickly morphed into Alex.

"Do you wanna see my noon?" she whispered through the dead silence of the cave. "Do you wanna see my noon?"

She stares me dead in the eye with a blank expression on her face. Then she slowly opens her mouth wide- and two fists pushed together... slowly crawls out of her open mouth as if someone inside was pushing them out. They began to open and creep towards my face to grab it.

"WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP."

(Imagine making two fists in front of you like you're holding a steering wheel tight. Push your hands together like that. Then, holding the bottom of your hands together where it joins the wrist imagine them opening and unrolling like a flower. That's how she tried to grab my face.)


<I woke up.>

[Saturday, September 22nd, 2012] [AI is Viral]
(I feel like my soul has just returned from the most extensive adventure... I just got done living another life...)

I remember a futuristic city- Me and Alex witnessed the discovery of a new type of energy that unlocked the secrets of AI. Professors and
Cid-like people gathered around a small machine. They clapped and applauded the arrival of the plasma-like substance that gathered electric
currents out of nothing. The little cylinder music-box-sized machine danced with sparks and lightning. It spread to every thing in the room that had
certain false AI that humans had invented. AI's intelligences advanced so fast and replicated beyond our imagination... within minutes the city was
under attack by our own technology. People were being killed instantly. Alex ran as fast as she could. I was knocked down... I saw people being
impaled... melted... sliced... I crawled into a pod-machine with a red force field that cloaked my presense and protected me- and I waited and
watched. A giant red tenticle of energy whipped around the plaza and killed countless humans. I watched it kill every thing it could detect with
lightning precision. I was watching a masacre- and was the only one in this area to survive. I sat there and watched something evil looking whip
it's bladed arms across the forcefield and slash and slash- but I stared and watched. This was a bad idea- I was stuck in here and Alex was lost
somewhere. I closed my eyes and went back in time- to before the AI made the change. A few minutes before.

I didn't go far back enough. Alex had already run... and Nathan was with me now. But instead of crawling into the safety pod, I grabbed Nathan
and ran. We took turns through the city's hidden corridors and tried to imagine which way Alex would have gone. I felt that she took a left, a right,
another right... then we were at the edge of the city. We were on a giant island ship of metal. Water spread out as far as the eye could see. There
were teleporters on the edge of the ship- and we chose one and it sent us to Manhattan... I could feel that city was already destroyed... so I
reversed time and chose a smaller city. One that Alex was in. We were catapulted through space-time and arrived within moments

This city was dark and depressing, rainy and poor. It reminded me of a late 19th century England city with no modern technology existing, or
perhaps just out of sight and not so advanced. Shingles were falling off roofs from dilapidation, and wood was rotting away. Nathan was here
somewhere in the city, but now he wasn't with me. Dammit. Now I had two people to find. I turned down one alleyway and it led down to a
hidden replica neighborhood of our apartment complex. The parking lot was filled with potholes of rainwater and a few doors were off their
hinges. I went up to number 8 and knocked, SHE ANSWERED. <memory skips>

It's been a few days of us living in safety. But there were memories of her being uninterested in me anymore. I was to be replaced by figures such
as Pompous, Brandon, and more. I felt like she gave the attention she used to give to me to everyone else. A nightmare in itself. I was devastated
but she thought it was only fair. We got in a fight that was very unclear to me and just as we went inside, some kind of shit went down. During a
party, AI had arrived in THIS town. It must be trying to exterminate humans or something. I grabbed Alex by the hand and everything we might
need- and we ran with our backpacks. People were being slayed that came out of hiding- but our neighborhood had been compromised. I saw
Nathan too and I shouted at him to follow- and we headed to the teleports. We all got in one and tried to leave to the place with the least amount
of population. That must be the safest place!

The machine malfunctioned and sent us up into the atmosphere. We all flew up where we could land on an airplane. But we all did grab on until it
landed. Where we did land, it was a tropical island- big, but not as populated. The technology here hadn't been quite affected by the change yet,
so we were sort of safe. The first building we entered shut us in when we walked inside, and a trial began. A box wheeled itself into the room with
supplies for a battle. There was a battery recharge, a weapon capsule, and another thing I don't remember. I grabbed the weapon capsule- it was
kind of old and damaged, I tried to heal it with my mind and it worked. Just then, a robot/cyborg arrived in the room with the intent to destroy me.
I chucked the weapon capsule with all my strength at it and busted the attack machine. That was easy, I thought.

<I faded from the dream and woke up.>

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012][12:30 PM]
I'm in a giant open house filled with clutter. The lights are very dim and there are two main rooms. On one side of the house there's just a
windowed wall that overlooks the sunset scenery of trees. The house is slowly getting darker and there are no lights. Alex had just left me- I'm
alone.

Nothing is wrong, I'm just alone. I sit down and start to just relax on the couch. I slowly drift off to sleep... I wake up a minute later, a noise
springs to my attention. On the dark side of the house, where the shadow's hugged the corner, I heard a noise. I figure it must have been my
imagination. I shrug it off, but feel a strange alien thought in my head. I feel so alone... so... so alone... I just want something to hold on to- or talk
to-

I slowly trudge over to the shadow side of the house... I hear dull clicking noises, reminiscent of Amnesia. In the far right corner of the dark side, I
bend down to pick up a stuffed animal... there was a lot of them, but I choose one that I'm most familiar with. It was a cute patchwork animal-
yellow with purple and green... Alex had gotten it from the claw machine. I pick it up and hug it- and look at it. I could have sworn I saw it move.
I let it drop to my side and I pick up another... I set them back down and watched them come to life. I was amazed- but didn't think anything of it.
I must be seeing things, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's just little movements, like an arm twitching, or an eye blinking.

I bring the patchwork with me into the other rooms and set it on a table. Walking into the other room, I see shadows flicker and move, and things
shift around the room. I'm convinced I'm going crazy. But I'm okay, I accept it. "It won't be forever. And this isn't so bad. It's kind of interesting.
It's like I can control what I see." It reminds me of a lucid dream. My hallucinations started to become more real and vivid. Now I'm hearing
whispers. The patchwork shakes violently in my hand and drops to the floor. It begins crawl around... Oh my... then it stops in its tracks... and...
and it turned its neck to me. It whispered, "Don't be lonely. I'm here for you." I blink a blank stare back at it. (My subconscious didn't know how
to react.) I dismiss it- and forget about it.

With an empty mind, I drag myself across the house, like a ghost haunting eternity. I had no aim or goal, just to exist. Minutes passed and I knew
that I was fully insane, and descending extremely fast. Everything was talking to me now. More stuffed animals were alive, but only ONE at a
time. Next thing I know, I see a human in the room. It's- a waking life friend of mine that I know fairly well, but I don't remember who in specific.
I know it's just in my head, and I'm making him up though, so I'm not exactly freaked out. I'm just so interested in the fact that I have this much
"control" over my reality- I start to talk to the hallucination, "What's up, man?"
"Not much." He replies.

I take my attention off of him and he vanishes, and I begin to search around the house... playing with my hallucination power.
I could stare at something and focus on it, and it would begin to move. I have "control" over this at least. I scan the back wall again, seeing
stuffed animals that I recognized from real life and some that I did not. The house had gotten pretty chilly in the last few minutes. I can feel the
cold wrap around my skin. It's very very quiet. Dead silent. Not a noise in the place, save for my breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I see the
hallucination take a human form again. It's another person who I know. (but don't remember. I wasn't paying extremely-close, conscious attention
yet at this point. He follows me around the house as I start to pick things up and clean the cluttered house. He watches me closely like a hawk. That's when the
dream becomes extremely real. In fact... It ISN'T a dream anymore. There's no way something this real is a dream. It's a full-blown reality. I can't
tell the difference one bit anymore. I'm semi-lucid too... I have control of my body- but without realizing it was a dream.
I look back up at my hallucinated visitor and he smiles at me.

That smile... it's the most horrible evil fucking smile I've ever seen. One that stretches across the face and make me choke back tears of impossible
fear. I'm descending faster into the deepest and darkest corner of my mind. I'm very uncomfortable
"I can't believe how insane I am." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to call Alex- the only person that I want to talk to right now...
even if I was bat crazy, she would talk to me. I call, with my eyes on the hallucination that was smiling so wide, his black eyes were chinked
behind his grin. Straight to voicemail- "We're sorry... the number you-" I hang up.

The hallucination now has a long boning knife in his hand now. He's at my neck before I even have a chance to react-
"Do... you know who... I am?"
"No-" I sob.
"As long as Alex is... gone... I get to... come out and... play."
He casually drags the knife loosely against my neck. He vanishes when he finishes the knife's trail. I'm shaking uncontrollably. But at the same
time stilled by my muscles. Everything is frozen in fear. My open eyes scan the room and notice new stuffed animals that I don't recognize-
countless of them. The sun is almost gone, the light choked by the horizon. I turn around slowly 'til I'm facing a third room behind me. I watch the
opening for a whole minute... waiting... swaying back in forth in silence... then-

I sprint to the third back room... I jump into the room and stop... panting for second. This room closely resembles my old room of my Mum's old
house. The TV is on and static lights up the room with white noise. I slowly make my way to the far end of the room, where I put my phone on the
charger and try to call again- that's when I saw Alex had left her phone on the charger. I won't reach her at all now. My heart sinks so deep into
my chest. "Oh my god... I just want to talk to Alex... I just want to talk to her... please oh god..." I cry hysterically

My head feels very hazy, and I'm having trouble remembering the situation. What had just happened? I remember a stuffed animal... I'm crazy... a
man in my house... I took in a shallow breath- and walked back out of the room.

A body flickers into existence and blocks my path. Nathan appears very suddenly in the doorway, like a scream piercing silence. He has a
wicked grin on his face. He cocks his head to the side, and smiles more, almost saying, "Where were you?" Then he vanishes again. I push my
eyes closed to blink a few times- they were getting dry from holding them open so wide for so long. The house is caked in twilight- but this time
I'm back in my Mom's old home. I emerge from my room into the computer room. To my left is the futon. I walk into the kitchen and hear,
"Unwell" playing by Matchbox Twenty.

"I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a little unwell- I know, right now you can't tell- but soon enough of you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be." I
listen to the words and begin to sob. "This is so real. I can't do this...

The music stops playing and Nathan is there again. He's right behind me, smiling his cold smile. It shocks me again how suddenly he appeared. I
keep my eyes on him and slowly backtracked... then I stop. I'm suddenly filled with HATE for this DEMON. HOW DARE HE USE THE IMAGE
OF MY BEST FRIEND!? Tears slowly well up in my eyes..

...until I scream and lunge for his throat. I use every bit of my strength and force him onto the futon and begin to choke him. I shake and shake
and squeeze as hard as I can. He just smiles. I choke him for a full minute, letting my hate seep out onto his neck, before I realize there is no
effect. I stand back up and take a step back.

Suddenly, the futon vanishes and so does he. It repositions right where the computer used to be- to my immediate left... where we had moved it
the second time, when we lived there. Now, Tyler sits there on the futon with a smile on his face. The lights flicker in the house and then the
power fails. It's pitch black, but I can still see his black eyes. He can change form, but he can't change those beady black eyes.

Alex had gone away and wouldn't be back for three days. Three days of hell... My soul was going to rot here
<I woke up.>

(I cried for 10 minutes upon waking. I called Alex right away.)

[Saturday, September 8th, 2012]
I was in the neighborhood around my Grandma's headed to the High School. The world had a more sinister Nightmare Before Christmas feel. It was midnight and noon at the same time... time didn't exist. I was walking down the street towards school, people bustling back and forth, but never really there. I arrived at the Middle School this time, and I remember Mrs. Cole saying something to another teacher that made me remember her and miss her. I was suddenly aware that I didn't belong there, and I became semi-lucid, not exactly aware that it was a dream, but with control over the reality. I had a single flat bar in my hand, and I knew what it was for. I could defy gravity and fly with it, just by willing it. I began to show off in front of a few kids to guage their reactions. I'd grab onto it and hold myself up and jump, soaring through the air. Or I'd just hover there, and few feet above the ground. I was right outside a classroom, and I could be seen through the door's window. A few more kids showed up and then a teacher or two. I got tired of being watched so closely, so I jumped and glided in a different direction. I was headed out of the school towards the main road. I passed by a familiar man, in the guise of a janitor. He didn't even look at me. (Was he the same man I'd seen at the Graveyard in my "The Underground Club" dream?) ~ My memory skips to the next dream.

+

I'm in a shallow canyon, like a shorter Box Canyon, and I'm making my way through it with some people. It's all very vague. It's faded from my memory... but we all made it to the very end, and there's a room. A party. People have filled it. I stay for awhile.

After that "awhile", I notice the party emptying out, save for a few stubborn on-goers, including myself. I suggest we push the tables together and have a smaller after-party. We all sit down, and I recognize some of the people... but their specificity turns to smoke in my waking state. I suddenly hear a noise and look up. A host has arrived... but to crash the party. My intuition makes me up and walk out the door with such speed. Behind me, lightning flows from the host into the rest of the people. They are all horribly disfigured and turned into things of horror and evil. I wake up as soon as I'm outside again. I was a hair close to being "changed".

(This nightmare figure is now reoccurring. I'll have to face him eventually. The first thing to ask is, "Who are you?" )

+

Now I'm in a mixture of Nathan's room and the room we had previously partied in. Alex is asleep on a couch, and Nathan is too. I roam around Nathan's house for awhile and return. I interact with Alex somehow... then my dream turns to dust.

[Wednesday, August 29th, 2012]
(Three dreams. My dad was in some of them. But overall failed recall.)
(EDIT: I just remember one of the dreams. It was a nightmare.)

The entire dream was me trying to complete some strange paranormal competition event. There were thousands of participants. It consisted of a number of phases and it was spread out over an open scene with changing environments. For instance, most of the land was forest, but just up north, there was a line that seperated icy wasteland from it, and to the south; desert.

The earliest stage I really "remember" was Phase 6: We were transported back in time to World War II and were in front of an enormous cathedral. I walked in with a group of 3-4 other RM's, us being way behind the rest of the crowd. There were no guards in the first room, in fact there wasn't anyone. The rest were all in the next room with the pupit in front and the benches facing it. Everyone had crowded in there for some reason, and Hitler was giving a speech to them. I remember hearing screams and suddenly there was growls and gunfire. (I was so thankful for being slow.) We turned to the left and followed a short hallway to a few joint-bedrooms where we discussed what to do next. For SOME odd reason, the rest of the group came up with the BRILLIANT idea that two of them would have sex in the bed as if it would solve anything. I went with their plan. I was to have guard duty outside in the hallway. The man who was going to have sex with one of the women asked me if it was okay that he was doing this, as if this woman was my lover or something. I shrugged; I didn't know any of them. They were all unrecognizable DC's. They started and I walked out of the room and sat down in the hallway with my back to the wall and waited.

The next thing I know, we WON. We advanced to the next round, and I wasn't even sure how. Maybe all we had to do was survive. Our group somehow also aquired a map that was coded that didn't help us in any observable way.

Onto Phase 7. The host (who happened to be an Owl-being) told us that we would have to find the next area on our own. At this time we were standing by an old rotting two-story house and the forest around us was in just of bad condition. Spooky. But the house was locked all around. 4 ninjas (probably Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too.) seperate from our group, walked past and I overheard them trying to figure out what to do next. They were stumped like us. Once they were gone, I climbed the building to the roof and climbed in through the belltower's window on top. The rest of my group followed suit. Once in, a few more people leaked in, but there had to be less than 10 total. When our group reached a familiar hallway that resembled my old home's hall, we all split up and took a different room. The room I had was my old bed room. There were two others in the room with me. We were tearing it up looking for a clue... a treasure... anything. Suddenly, a loud buzzing noise erupted from outside the room. I ran out to hear screams and laughter and my heart skipped a few beats as I listened. Everyone in my group was already dead. The two people in the room I had just been in had vanished. I was alone. I heard a sick laugh again and suddenly the darkest music began to play and I heard someone screaming, "TATTOOS AND CLOWNS. TATTOOS AND CLOWNS." It was a fucking demon clown. He was coming for ME. I thought about hiding behind a propped up mattress, but scurried to the doorless-closet instead. There was a small bit of wall to hide behind at least there. Back to the wall and out of sight, I waited in silence. My heart began to race faster and faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up; my heart still beating out of control.