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    CanisLucidus

    1. The One Where I Fight Samuel L. Jackson

      by , 01-13-2014 at 03:55 PM
      Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

      Lucid #179: The One Where I Fight Samuel L. Jackson

      I have a false awakening but I notice that Im alone (Wife is missing) and the bed has been turned 90 degrees. Right away I realize that this is a dream.

      Something grabs me by the leg, pulls me out of the bed, and drags me to the floor. I look up and Samuel L. Jackson is standing over me! He says something along the lines of Youre not going anywhere, and starts to stomp down at me. I think that I should do some tricky/clever dream control thing but I feel too much like Im in a fight to get it together.

      We struggle for a moment until I manage to get my arm wrapped around his ankle, push my foot into his crotch, and then push up, lifting him off of his feet. He falls onto his back and we wrestle around kind of grabbing at each others feet to gain control. His head looks close enough to reach so I lash out, kicking him straight in the face. He flops back and stops moving.

      I sit up and as I approach Samuel L. Jackson, he changes into a smallish, delicate-looking woman in her mid-20s. She looks Mediterranean and overall completely different from Samuel L. Jackson. Help me, Im pretty hurt... she says, sitting up just a little bit. I feel bad for her, so I pick her up and carry her with me. I notice that shes very cute but the fact that 15 seconds ago she was Samuel L. Jackson makes me quite uninterested.

      We phase through the wall of the house out into the night. I want it to be morning, so I do a hulk-jump or two, expecting the time of day to shift. It does, and before long its early morning. Were on a sidewalk outside of a cafe with a canvas awning.

      I walk inside the cafe to find Wife sitting at a table with two strangers, one a heavy, hipster-looking guy and the other a pretty woman in her early 30s with short, brown hair. Im having a lucid dream, I tell them, mostly to explain the fact that Ive just carried a woman into the cafe with me.

      Ah, says Wife, giving me a Oh, another one of those kind of look. I join them at the table along with the woman formerly known as Samuel L. Jackson, who now seems relatively unhurt and integrates herself naturally into the conversation. The hipster and the brown-haired woman are authors and theyre talking with Wife about their new book. The conversation is strange and its hard to understand details.

      Im also distracted by the food. There are little plates of small chocolate bars that I keep sampling. They taste delicious but they fade too quickly, almost as if they were so light and insubstantial that you only get a moment to taste them. At one point, Wife remarks, He even thinks this is dream food.

      I admit it, I do! I say. Everyone chuckles like Im an amusing eccentric.

      Somehow the scene changes to a featureless room with three books lying on the floor. The two writers and the woman who once was Samuel L. Jackson walk out through the door, chatting about something.

      I examine the second book. Its by the writers we ate with and its about how early civilizations made fantastic technological leaps forward by using ideas that came to them in lucid dreams. Im excited by the whole premise of the book. I really believe that it must be true. (I'm also partly offended that they acted so skeptical that I was having a lucid dream.)

      I really want to read this book, I tell Wife, and she agrees that it sounds right up my alley. Now that were alone, I enjoy a little time making out with Wife
      until the dream ends.