Xanous' Dream Journal

#425 - DILD - 7:14AM

After the last LD I try meditating again, but fall asleep.

I am in some restaurant and there is food and trash all over the carpet. Someone tells me to get in uniform and help clean. I take a snapchat of the mess. I am in uniform and I walk into another part to see how I can help, but I see things are mostly managed now. I pass what I think is a manager. I try covering the company emblem on my shirt as I pass. I feel stupid for putting the uniform on and wish I could change.

I realize that I am on a cruise ship and I look for my sister Angie who is always going on cruises. I step outside on to the deck and look around. The ship is massive and looks like a small town. I see the water beyond and get vertigo as I realize were actually moving. I say to my wife, "You really do forget that you're on a boat." We all move toward the very tip of the bow and watch the water. We are coming into a bay area with high cliffs. There is what looks like a hill in the water and is mostly wet sand. We somehow power up it and I see water trying to flood the stern. As we level out, I see everyone has come outside. They all start cheering and clapping. The ship starts to dock, but bumps into something. I think of the Titanic and worry. A jet of water pushes the ship sideways and a voice says something about trying again. Then, I see a large rusted steel bar in front of the ship. Something like a dinosaur neck and head extends from someplace behind me. It latches on the bar and chews on it. It acts to stabilize and dock the ship. A voice says something about the dinosaur sharpening it's teeth this way, but it leaves a black residue. The dino turns and shows us its grayish, nubby teeth.

I am now laying on the floor next to some other guys in football uniforms paired with cheerleaders in wedding dresses in a pattern. The rest of the team comes in and wonders what's going on. This is a pep rally and we got roped into being apart of the performance. Music starts and we all get up and start some synchronized dancing. Of course, me and half the others have no idea what we are doing and do our best to keep up. The lyrics say, "Dance with me. Dance with me." So me and another cheerleader who looks a lot like Anna Kendrick start slow dancing. I am overly aware of the feel of her close to me, one arm around her waist, and her hand in my other. We are both feeling awkward and stop dancing. We laugh and both admit that we had no idea what we were doing. The song stops and we turn and sit close to each other on the floor. I am glad she stayed next to me. My old high school buddy Jason his on stage with a band. He's saying stuff to get the crowd excited and is generally acting way out of character. I start thinking about how dumb I felt during the dancing and wonder how I even got myself in this situation. I think something about the next time I am in a dream... Wait this IS a dream! I am a little unsure about this thought at first, but it only takes a millisecond to realize it's true. The dream starts crashing so I do the only thing I could think of to stabilize. I turn to the very hot Anna Kendrick look-a-like and resume dancing with her. Of course, this time I am much more confident and our dancing becomes dirty and we grind while I feel her up. This soon turns into sex and the hottie turns into my ex-wife. I lose my arousal and wonder, WHY? OH GOD WHY? I then realize it's a part of my past and just a memory. I appreciate it for what it is and the good times we once had. I let the scene play it self out without taking control or making decisions. I wake up.

#205 - 5:32AM - WILD?

The cats wake me up making noise. I have a lot of FA's and confusion. At one point I think a cat is in our bed. I pick her up and throw her out but I leave the door open. Another time I wake up and try see the time but the alarm clock is blurry. I think I might be dreaming but I lose it. Another time I start to DJ something but by the look and feel of it, I know it is a FA. I type the words I am dreaming on it but the image fades away. Somehing else happens at some point with strong HI and I realize its all fake and doesn't matter. I think at some point I wake up for real and do breathing meditation.

My body feels different now and I know it's the dream state. I get vibrations and I try to get up several times but I am blind and I end up back in bed. I wait for a moment and just note the sound and feel of it all. I try to roll but it feels real. I think I must be waking now but realize my arms have gone into an impossible position. I try to get up and am only partially blind now. I see the alarm clock on the floor and it clearly says 11:03. I lose sight again and only see dim light. I try to see my hands but it wont form.

I pause now and quit trying so hard. I say, "CLARITY NOW!" and clap my hands. Nothing happens. Then for some reason I say a bunch of Japanese and I sound like that silly Anime soccer game I have on the Wii. I remember something NyxCC said about enjoying the SP and singing a tune. I start to beatbox and want to hear Right On Time by Skrillex. I sound pretty good for someone who has no idea how to beatbox in waking life. Suddenly I can see clearly and I begin to hear some music with a good beat but it is not the song that I wanted. I turn to the mirror and begin to dance. I can see that I am moving incredibly fast and want to see my full body. At that thought the mirror extends to the floor and I can see that I am wearing my performance workout clothes. I think I want to try to C-Walk but my feet are going crazy and are a blur. I try to concentrate on the moves and slow it down. To my amusement I see I am wearing an old fashioned womens high heal on my left foot. I decide I would rather ignore this and just dance randomly. At some point the music morphs into a pop song with a woman singing. I say, "Turn that shit up!". It seems like the sound is coming from a small radio mounted on the wall and when I turn the dial up the sound moves to over by the mirror. The song becomes very realistic and believable but the only lyrics I can remember is "Never wear you out... Never wear you down" (It seems like it sounds like it could be a real song but I can't seem to find it online.) Her voice rings out loud clear and though it's not my choice of music, I just go with it. As she repeats the phrase several times I begin to sing along very loudly. At that point one of the cats starts batting something around in the living room and the noise wakes me up. Bitch.