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    Recent Entries


    by Xanous on 03-11-2019 at 01:15 AM
    #525 DILD

    I am looking through some stuff in a large wooden chest. My father-in-law has something hidden but I can't find it. I come down from the attic and tell him that he did a good job hiding it because I can't seem to find it. Looking at him it dawns on me that I am dreaming because he has recently passed away in waking life. There are many emotions flowing through me and I telling about something I know about that I can't mention here. He's about to lose his mind that I know what I know so I then tell him that he's dead. I tell him all I know about his death. I tell him its ok. He doesn't take it very well. He seems surprised by it. I tell him that I love him and I'm sorry that I never told him that. I tell him that I miss him so much and that I am sorry he's gone. I lose the dream as it fades away and I wake up.

    #526 DILD

    The next night my father in law is going on about some kind of special bucket to some person. I walk up to him and he sees me. It's like he knows now and he says "Hey buddy!" with so much love and compassion. Everything comes flooding back and I know I am dreaming. Unfortunately I wake up almost immediately.
    memorable , lucid

    Trippy Mutil FAs

    by Xanous on 02-19-2019 at 03:13 AM

    I don't quite recall this perfectly nor am I sure what triggered lucidity but I'll try to put the pieces together.

    I think how it started is with me noticing something about a FA making me wonder if I was dreaming. I do my fave RC, the nose plug, and announce that I am dreaming. Something about saying that and it being true filled me with that old feeling of amazement and wonder. Every time I say this throughout the rest of the dream I am filled with the same feeling.

    I don't do much because I keep falling back into FA but somehow I keep catching on to it. I don't know how many time I work up to realize it was a dream but I feel like it happened a lot. Maybe that's a false feeling but it seems true.

    I remember that at some point I watch a dream materialize from darkness. I rub my hands together and examine them for stability. I look around at several people staring at me. It looks like I am in a classroom. I tell them all that I am dream. All of this is a dream. You are in a dream. Some look at me with blank expressions some of them look at me like I am crazy. I tell them I will prove it by putting my finger through my hand. It almost works but doesn't quite get there. I try to think of it as reaching through empty space. I doesn't quite work to my satisfaction. I tell them maybe this is a bad example.

    I recall another time of trying to phase through a glass or mirror.

    At one point I clap my hands for stability and am momentarily fooled by an FA. I realize I have been moaning (perhaps not I don't know. I have recorded myself on my sleep app moaning so who knows lol). I think I must have woke my wife. She tells me I was clapping and talking in my sleep. Then I think nope this is typical FA stuff. I never act out my dreams. I relax and see a kaleidoscope of psychedelic geometry and color. I enjoy this for as long as it lasts. I don't know how long. Maybe I lost lucidity for a moment. Maybe not.

    I now I am walking someplace. I explore my surroundings. I don't quite recall what it was. I continue to tell people I am dreaming but they don't respond. I don't really care. There was more but I forget.

    I finally wake up for real ( I think) and I feel uncomfortable so I roll to my side. I am confinement I'll renter the dream state lucidly but unfortunately I don't recall anything after that.

    Mini Golf

    by Xanous on 12-11-2018 at 03:37 AM
    #523 DILD 3:40AM


    I am playing mini golf with some Asian dudes. They are way better than me. The course is odd an confusing. I notice my ball have become misshapen and like Styrofoam. I look for a better ball but they are all the same. I look around for someone that works there to help. I see Amanda and Darleen from work. Darleen is wanting a new ball but hers was red and we all have matching colored hats for teams. She has red but now wants a green ball. We say you cant change your hat but I watch as her hat morphs from red to green. She turns away and her had turns red again. We say something about that and it turns green again. Amanda wonders whats going on. I am sort of lucid here but not quite. I know there is some secrete here. I tell her Darleen is doing it with her mind. Amanda gives me one of her famous Im-going-to-throat-punch-you looks. I have a deep belly laugh because she doesn't understand whats happening. I'm still stuck on getting a good golf ball. I see a door marked employees only and enter. I'm suddenly far more lucid now and sitting in front of a computer at my ex's parents computer room. I do the first thing I think of and punch the screen. It hurts and I am mildly amused by that. I intend to punch all the way in but I can't go past the broken glass into the white light beyond. I wave my hand over the screen and mend all of the damage. I am annoyed to be in this damned house again. I don't understand why my subC takes me here so often. What's the connection? I decided to go ahead and explore but once I exit the room, the dream melts into a black oozing void. I decide to let the dream go and wake myself up.

    Snoring to Soaring

    by Xanous on 06-10-2018 at 04:48 AM
    #522 - OBE - 12:20

    Sometimes I really feel like I have some sort of sleep disorder. I fall asleep for about 1 hour and then find myself staring at some strange red light. I think I am dreaming at first but quickly realize I am looking at the alarm clock half sitting up. It's super weird but I shake it off and try to go back to sleep. Sadly for me, my wife is intermittently snoring and begins to drive me crazy. I keep nudging her to get her to stop long enough for me to fall back to sleep but it's not working out.

    Some time passes; not much, hell, I didn't know any time passed until I hear the snoring again. I nudge her but this time when my hand touches her it feels really numb and soft. I almost immediately recognize this as the dream state so I test it. For reason I think slap her leg and pinching her would be the best way to check. Luckily, I was in deed in a SP/dream state and not waking life. Not that I have confirmed this, I am briefly annoyed that I still hear her snoring and I'm unable to try to stop her. Once, I decide it's best to focus on getting out of body, the snoring stops.

    There is a little resistance but I manage to exit. I float out of the bedroom and see a white mass of something in the living room. I think it's something ghostly at first but once I decide it must be my dog she takes shape. She gives a soft bark and uncharacteristically nips at my feet. I decide to just bring her along with me. I take her by the collar and walk her to the other side of the house. All the while she is annoyingly nipping at my legs and feet. I find that confusing but just ignore it. Once I open the back door, I let her lose. She runs off and it feels good because she is always trying to go running outside but we can't let her do that in waking life.

    I turn and run toward our field outback. There is a vivid green treeline in the distance with super bright blue cloudless sky. I say, "Oh wow!". It's just so beautiful and amazing thats is a dream. I run faster and stretch out my arms. I effortlessly soar into the sky. I feel the wind blow around me and I hear the rush of speed in my ears. I lose visual at that point but I don't care. I just close my eyes and soar with the air currents taking me where it wants. I feel so light and free and at peace. I dip down and back up and do lazy barrel rolls. My vision is in and out but I just focus on the feeling more than anything. At some point I dip down into the ground and flow through it like its water. I can actually see layers of rock and dirt and then I come back up like a fish jumping out of the water.

    Suddenly I feel as if I have opened my physical eyes. I am back in bed. I am not sure if I have woken up. I am overwhelmed with good emotions at what just happened that I wipe my face with my hands. I see my fingers form a geometric pattern from 4 or 5 sets of hands. Yeah, I'm still dreaming. I move my hands back down but it just looks like my normal dark room. The geometric finger patterns were cool so I try it again. My subC does not disappoint. I enjoy the trippy show as I feel a surge of energy pulse through my body. I notice it is in sync with a spinning kaleidescope of geometric finger shapes. I think I must be having a DMT release. It's awesome.

    After a few moments I lose my focus and have a FA. I am trying to clear my throat and it turns into loudly coughing up a lugie. My wife sets up and looks at me super annoyed. I think that she has nothing to be upset about after all that snoring.

    The Shrink

    by Xanous on 05-29-2018 at 07:50 PM
    #521 - DILD

    I am in a version of a childhood friend’s house. I keep noticing these strange sores on my arms. Every time I look they have a new sore that starts trailing up more and more. At some point I go into total anxiety panic mode. I stumble into something like a hotel lobby full of people. I fall to my hands and knees and there is a pause. A peace comes over me and I gently float into a chair. There is a black haired woman across from me who was very animated in conversation, but now she has fallen into a trance.
    A psychiatrist appears and starts talking to me (I’m not sure I how I know his profession). I ask him about the people in the room and he says,
    “They don’t know because, they don’t know”.
    For some reason this is an extremely profound bit of wisdom to me. “Ah yes! They are dream characters!”
    Now fully lucid I decide to play with this knowledgeable dream character and start asking a lot of questions. I ask about the sores on my hands and he tells that I need to rid myself of that demon. I feel some initial fear but then calm myself and argue with him that I don’t believe in such things and I am not into religion. I forget what all was said after that but my keto diet was brought into it and I think maybe my demon was my struggle with such a restrictive diet plan (I have been struggling with electrolyte issues and energy levels as an long distance endurance runner in waking life and have been considering dropping the diet plan).
    We continue conversation, but I get distracted by the fact I am still in a lucid dream and for some reason holding that amount of focus is getting unbearable. I lose lucidity a bit and go back to worrying about the sores on my arms. I wake up shortly after that.
    lucid , memorable