Xanous' Dream Journal

I dream I am at work sourcing many assemblies. C is there asking me to work all night and all weekend and says they will pay me for two weekends. I say no way. I am tired. I get really sleepy and fall asleep at the desk.
I wake in the source room. There is a bed. S and L are there. I am somehow using S bed but I also associate it as her desk. I feel awkward about it. S and L are talking to me like no big deal. I feel so sleepy still but make myself sit up. I tell them I need to just go home.

*Partially awake*

Watching some version of Star Wars. It looks extra high defection. I think this is odd. Then it goes to a scene with an obvious green-screen background.

*partially awake* Thinking about how odd is was that portion of a dream could be so HI-DEF. Reminds me of some conversations on DV about that. Lucid dreaming....

I am walking into some sort of public restroom with some guy and woman. I see a full body mirror. I am still thinking of lucid dreaming. I practice some visual awareness and remind myself how wierd mirrors and get in dreams. At that moment everything is the mirror get all wavy and out of focus. I become fully lucid.

I become very happy and excited. I turn and see the woman. She is not all attractive. I don't know who she is. I ask her what we are doing. I say LUCID DREAMING!. She doesn't talk. I knew I had a goal but cant remember. For some reason I slap one of her boobs. Then that starts something but I quickly push her away. I say I don't want to waste dream time with this. She says something about how she wants me so bad but I tune her out and walk away saying, NOOOOOPPE!

I am walking down a hallway. I see a boy with harry potter looking glasses. I rub my hands together to increase vividness. The dream is pretty solid but I want to maintain. I pat the boy on the cheeks and say "hey buddy" he doesn't respond so I move on. I take in the detail of the dream. Very vivid still. The hallway has such bright red carpet with gold trim running down the hallway. I continue walking.

The hallway morphs into an outdoor courtyard. I see a girl walking toward me. I'm not particularly interested but then I notice a flutter. When I focus on her she has morphed into at bright red bird. She flies to a ledge on the adjacent building. I call out to the about about the girl that became a bird but he's not around. It's dark now but I ignore that. I call out to the girl/bird and ask her to come back. She ignores me. I try to fly up to her but I quickly fall down and land on my face. I laugh at that. No pain. I can't see the bird now and the dream is becoming very unstable. There is a sign on the building like a black twitter symbol. I call out again. I see a brown sparrow fly away with some grass in its beak. I think this is her but the dream is crashing and going black. I decide to let it go and wake up so that I will remember the dream.

#435 - WILD - 4:15AM

I did a WBTB coffee (2tbsp coffee grounds + 1tbsp sugar) at 4AM. Chug and and crash focusing on WILD.

I quickly recognize the usual sensations but it hard to get out. I realize I need some stimuli and the first thing I think of is sex. During the enjoyment, I notice a very young girls is sleeping next to me in the same bed while some woman is riding me. I begin to feel awkward and want to get away. I notice that I am deep enough in the dream now, so I push the woman off and mutter, "That's enough."

I easily stand up and wonder into the bathroom. I have an embarrassing situation that I try to ignore so I look into the mirror to distract me. My face distorts and I now have large aliens eyes. Instead of the deep black associated with gray's, I have white glowing light like my eye are made of some sort of reflective material. I marvel at the glowing light from within for a second and then decide to try playing with the mirror a bit. It looks really dirty witch is distracting but it seems like there is a different room past my reflection. I press my face into the glass and it stretches like soft rubber. I pull back and try to focus on something in the background, hoping to fall in, but I suddenly wake up.

#436 - DEILD -5:08AM

Having realize that only 15 minutes passed since I drank coffee, I decide it can't have kicked in much though I feel mildly stimulated. I relax focusing on my face as I body awareness meditation and quickly pass out.

There is something about my brother visiting my house. Me setting at table telling myself that I am dreaming, but not caring much. Maybe I thought I had it under control, but lucidity slips away. After talking with my brother, I decide it's time to lay down for WILD.

I am in a room eating white grapes with a small boy. Then try to eat something like a grape, but rock hard. The dream fades to darkness, but I hear a voice telling me to hold me focus and wait (meaning DEILD).

I have WILD sensations, but I am able to blindly get up. I jump around to stimulate my dream body. It feels super odd. I begin to float so I open my eyes. I am now standing in the room again. There is trash everywhere and the little boy is just looking at me. He gives me a grape and I taste it. Bland. I recall the smell TOTM and quickly search the floor. I spot a banana peel, pick it up, and give it a good sniff. Nothing. I try again breathing deeper, but now I am too aware of my physical body. I remember breath is the only connection to waking world. I stop and try an orange peel that's near the spot where I found the banana. It has a mild, undefinable scent. I now recall my monster TOTM and tap the boy's elbow. "Common!", I say as I start to look for a bed. I wake up.