Xanous' Dream Journal

Night 1:

#461 - WILD - 3:00AM

Because it took two hours to set things up, I was extra tired going to sleep at midnight. Or I thought I was, I was having a very uncomfortable time with the EEG net and was in and out of light sleep with long bouts of wakefulness. I realized part of my issue was not having the sound of a box fan to lull me to sleep so I spent a ton of time meditating.

I finally manage to watch dreamlets form until I hear a loud voice say, "I still remember the smell of her fried chicken." I was curious if the voice was talking about the lab technician, but then, I remember. I latch on to the feeling of being in the dream and try to move my arms. I feel mild vibrations and slight resistance as I sit up. I float up into darkness. I become excited and remember to give the left-right-left-right eye signals. I spend the next few moments in the void trying various things to get some traction. I have the sensation of physically opening my eyes and I see some light on part of the wall. I worry that this is the actual room (it wasn't) so I quickly close my eyes. My thoughts cause me to wake up.

Night 2:

#462 - WILD - 6:00AM

We got set up early and I lay down around 10PM. I felt much more comfortable and tired this time, but my dreams where hard to recall and I had no lucids to report. I decide to pretty much skip my 3:30AM WBTB and I wake about 4:22AM. I have to be disconnected so that I can use the restroom, so all of this woke me up enough that I spent what felt like most of the next hour being very awake. I used this time to meditate into the dream almost exactly like the night before but this time it gave the *indescribable feeling* like before and I have to roll to my left to make it pass.


Later, I come to some awareness and feeling of being in the bardo. I float up and quickly give the left-right-left-right signal, but I am not sure if I am actually in REM yet or not because it's all dark. I decided this time to go ahead and open eyes. It felt vivid and I was worried that it was my physical eyes. I was happy to see the room was well lit and very different then my actual location. I also note that when I focus on it, I can also feel my physical eye closed tight. I go ahead and give the eye signal once more for good measure.

I leave the room and find myself upstairs in my parents old house. I see my mom down stairs and glide to her. In a weird, Norman-Bates-tone I ask, "What are you doing mother?"
She doesn't say anything, but her body becomes gaunt and rotten. Her right arm is now missing with splintered bone protruding from the stub at her shoulder. She looks up at me hungrily with red rimmed eyes and dark circles under. She has a look of hunger as she stared at me with her head hung low. I am taken aback, but only slightly frightened. I decide not to accept this and dismiss it. No.

The scene resets and I am now standing with her in the Main Room. My mom has returned to normal, so I hug her to put emphasis on the restoration. I say something to her about all of this just being a dream and how everything is OK. I feel excited and overjoyed to be lucid and having completing my goal. I think of waking up, but I remember that I was supposed to stay in dream for a few minutes if I could. I am not sure of the time, but know it hasn't been long at all I turn to go out the back of the house, but all of this, thinking about waking up, actually wakes me up.

#424 - DILD - 5:33AM

My sister in law M has a runners backpack on. It looks a lot like the picture below but it all white with red trim and is made of soft, dry-wick, polyester. I really want one of my own for when I start cycling back up as well as trail running. I tell my wife I really want one as I look it up on my phone. The brand is called 'Calender 3' and the model is 'Delilah'. Hmmm sounds girly, but I still like it. I see it costs $30 and I tell my wife that it's not a bad price. I wake up really hoping this backpack is real.



it's almost 4am so I get up, use the bathroom, and get a drink — generally milling about for a few minutes. I decide to lay back down and spend some time meditating but pass out quickly.

I am playing some sort of war game on an arcade machine, but I realize that everything I am doing is actually a real battle. I see several other arcade machines lined up next to me and I decide to call in the others to help. Everything is set up outside in near a war torn, dilapidated building. I round a corner and shout, "Hey." someone fires a shot but misses. I use my cell phone to signal so they know it's me. I call out for 5 troops and the come. I realize only 2 or 3 are left so I tell them all to come. One looks like an Imperial Officer from Star Wars.



My daughters come to join the war game and I set my older up on a fighter jet game. My younger is going to be my co-op player 2 on my game. I have some issue with the buttons and the front has extended like a long table. I have to climb to reach the player 2 button. My son gets in my seat and falls and hits his head. I yell harshly at my younger daughter because she didn't stop him. Then I feel bad for yelling and apologize to her as I hold my crying son on the couch. My older daughter is player her game but she is attacking the wrong country, Japan. I know they will for sure break from the alliance now. Think she may as well do as much damage as possible. I watch as she is flying close to skyscrapers and shooting out windows. The fires off a few rockets but doesn't do much damage. She finally crashes into a building and laughs.

I stand up and now I am in the living room at home. My daughter and I have some conversation about what just happened and somehow I decide this is all a dream. I say, "I've decide this is a dream." The world almost crashes here, but I stabilize by jumping up and down around the house.. The sensation brings everything back to vividness. I randomly decide to do pull-ups on the chandelier over the dining table. I feel my muscles tense and I wonder if I am some how benefiting from this exercise. I decide to make it 'harder' so I extend my legs forward to the ceiling as I continue pull-ups. I feel physical muscle strain now. This almost wakes me up so I stop and swing off the chandelier into the living room area (it's actually all one big room).

My son is trying to get outside and I stop him at first, but remembering its a dream, I take him outside with me as we adventure. I decide to have fun in the car and I take time to put him in the car seat. I know it doesn't matter, but it makes me feel better to do this. I wonder if I will have difficulty and waste time fumbling with things, but everything goes smoothly. I hop in the driver seat and turn the key. The car is positioned wrong and I have to back up and turn around. I reverse it and then slam it hard into 'drive' and peel out as I leave the drive way. I drive fast without stopping at intersection and make several random turns. I come to a traffic light and weave around the stopped cars, cutting the others off. I quickly lose interest in driving and my visual weaken. I have to focus the dream back and decide I need to bring the joy ride to an end. I see the road ends at the doors of a department store so I floor it. The effort of the gas pedal make my foot extra tired.

We crash through the glass and now I am standing in the mall holding my son. There is an extra large RC car about the size of a shopping cart in front of me. It's plowing through kiosks and stands. A young woman in a grey dress screams and runs away. Jerry from work says something about my driving a car into the mall again. Again? I've never done this. A security guard runs up to stop the car shouting the same thing as Jerry. I wake up.

#382 - DILD - 4:14AM

Daytime awareness
Meditation
Determination

I am driving and thinking about a conversation I had with someone. MP's (from work) husband had a baby with another woman and I feel bad for her because her religion wont let her divorce. While I am driving and have some quiet time I quickly do some awareness. Suddenly, I realize that it is supposed to be late at night, but the sun is shinning brightly. I think this must be a dream and instead of doing my usual nose plug, I pull back on the steering wheel.

The car lifts into the air and I know for sure that I am in a dream. I see that I am on a country road and continue down in though I am hovering several feet above it. I start thinking about goals and for some reason I repeat from my last dream. I think I need to find a DC and at that moment I spot a farmer in overalls on the side of the road next to his pickup. He seems to be messing with a gate that leads into a pasture. I go too fast and pass him before I can stop so I try a hard U-turn. The laws of inertia seem to apply here and I hover sideways a bit before getting the car around. I quickly get to the farmer and, instead of my usual car phase I actually use the door. The act of physically getting out of the car seem really taxing.

I ask the farmer, "What is the nature of reality?"
He immediately starts saying random words that don't form any coherent sentence. It sort of reminds me how I sometimes do that to help me fall asleep.
I ask again and this time he says, "Hyperdimensional continent."
I am not sure this makes any sense so I ask, "Can you put reality into another word?" I really meant to ask a deeper question about reality and see if I can get and idea of what is behind it all. At the very least, I was going to ask him to tell me a story and see what happens.
Anyway, he replies with more nonsensical reply than before, "Presidential candidate." Then he suddenly he lets out a moan of pain, "Oooooh!" I look down and notice that I am rubbing my thumb into the backside of his elbow. This spot is hurting me in the dream and I truly think that I have been massaging my own pain while we were talking. I apologize and explain all this to him. I start to turn away from, but the dream begins to crash. There is darkness, then a few random and fleeting images, some voices, then I wake up. I have a really tough time recalling the dream for several seconds.