lumiina

I was trying to trigger a lucid dream in which I'd re-encounter my dream guide, but instead I got a non-lucid nightmare.

3am

Dream Two non-lucid

I had a dream I could see Mittens (my cat who passed away) every once and a while and Mom finally took a video of it and the girl from the ring was appeared in it, with this horrifying music, and eventually I couldn't shut it off...

I liked the music. It was very beautiful. But in its context it was horrifying.

The whole time I was thinking, could I edit out the part with Sadako, or will it just revert back to the normal video?

The video started off with me petting Mittens. Then, she went behind the counter to chase a spider and Sadako's hair was under the dishwasher. Suddenly, you could see her face peer out *shudders*. Then, the video skipped to this scene in the sky? I don't remember. Then back to Sadako, with her getting closer and closer to the camera. Originally I refused to watch the entire video, but when I finally did I couldn't turn it off anymore.

I felt bad because at the end of the dream, when I couldn't shut off the video, I handed it to my mom or brother for him or her to deal with whatever curse it brings. I was showing it to my brother, but I think at the last moment it was my mom holding the camera.

Dream One non-lucid

There was this online course, but it happened on a device like a Pokewalker. So all the text for the course was on this small device, one line at a time. I just thought it was the most ridiculous thing and complained.

I wasn't enrolled in the course. I think my sister-in-law was looking at schools and saw the course.

February 23, 2014

3:33 am non-lucid

I had a dream that I went to Japanese camp to teach, but when I got there together with my husband who was dropping me off, I was having second thoughts. I didn't want to be away from my husband for 2 weeks, no cell phone contact. So I had to confront my employers, who knew me since I went to Japanese camp as a teen. There was a Chinese male and a white female. Went to the back room offices to talk. At first small talk, but the Chinese man could tell something was wrong. I hugged him at one point since it's been a while since I've seen him. When I mentioned how I didn't think this was going to work, he said not all marriages work out. Then I said hold up, no, I'm talking about the job. We were confused over the word pre-meditated, or a word similar to that, which caused the misunderstanding. The word's definition in the dream eluded to something not working out, not the definition in waking life. He told me to reconsider working there and how it is only two weeks and my Japanese would improve a lot.

The lighting was very dim, like nighttime throughout the dream. I remember going out and reminiscing over the camp. Then I went over to a bunch of children's books that were about mythical native American or Inuit creatures in the snow. Theme of heritage, culture being passed down. I read one of the books, which had a theme of pride in one's culture. The book had a few foreign words in it, but not in Japanese. It could've been a book about the same content, but in Japanese, yet it wasn't. I didn't understand why.

Before I confronted my employers, there was another worker in the dream who when found out about the cell phone rule, also felt she couldn't do that. She was short, I think her hair was pulled back, dark hair. Not a language employee, instead another kind of staff. Her face kind of resembled my piano instructor's. She was encouraged to speak up after hearing that I wanted to and has a husband too. She's older than me.

I remembering arguing to the Chinese man that if only my husband could work that summer too, but couldn't because of his job, implying that he should hire him and pay him to solve things.

When contemplating, I was leaning my head on a wall or pole.

I was having second thoughts before we even left to go to the camp, which is states away, but still decided to drive there with my husband.

I felt sad to be conflicted. Loved Japanese camp so much, but had to choose between keeping my marriage strong (which could end up fine even if I did work at the camp) or working at a place I loved and grew from. Reminiscent, though setting not at all like the actual camp, as usual in dreams.

The white lady resembled my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) instructor, who is pregnant in waking life and pregnant in the dream. Dream was in English and non-lucid.

I woke up with a song from Animal Crossing: New Leaf playing in my head. I immediately realized I had a dream when I woke up, wanted to record it and jumped to my dream journal.

Time after writing down this dream: 4:01am.

Mantra: 夢を見ることを分かっています (I will realize I'm dreaming) 野原に風で空を飛びたい (I will fly in a field using the wind)

I had asked my husband if he has had a flying dream before, and he said yes, many times. He recalled one in which he was being caught up by the wind in a field and flying really high. So I imagined using that method to fly.

4:07 am Haven't fallen asleep
4:15 am Still not asleep
4:40 am Still not asleep

6:02 am

Dream 1 MILD

I realize that I am dreaming and check through the thumb/palm RC. I am so excited to confirm my thoughts that I am dreaming by seeing my thumb go through my palm. I try to jump so that I can levitate/fly, excited that I am lucid dreaming, afraid to be short on time. The gravity is definitely not normal and I kind of float through the air as I jump, but I don't exactly get far off of the ground. This is probably because I'm inside a building.

Before I become lucid, my dream is set in my apartment at night and I feel there has been an intruder. The intruder is female and I could hear her have a phone call in Spanish and sing from my bed. My husband and I are both in the bed and I try to alert him but he doesn't really think there's any threat and just goes back to sleep. I am extremely afraid and I think at some point my husband does leave the bed and is harmed, but the scenario resets itself. I eventually realize I am dreaming and next to my bed practice jumping.

The dream is in English and was induced with MILD. Along with saying my mantas about flying, I also was a little paranoid about an intruder, though I tried to push the thought away.

Dream 2 non-lucid

I was heading towards a babysitting job for a Japanese family. When I met the mother, she talked to me in Japanese and I replied in Japanese, though I didn't remember any of the dialogue. She lived in an apartment.

I remember walking down the hall to the apartment and seeing her neighbors, who aren't Japanese. Her neighbors were intimate and I remember it being embarrassing to witness, but I don't remember what happened. I think their bathroom was in the hall and one was using the toilet, yet with no shame of being in public and still smiling and waving.

This was non-lucid.

I think I might've woken up in between the 1st and 2nd dream, or if not consciously thought in between the dreams that I need to write down my lucid dream before I forget, but instead moved onto a 2nd dream.

Time after writing down these dreams: 6:22am

February 22, 2014

6:15 am
Woke-up remembering scary or mystery themed music from my dream and not remembering much else. Felt like another thought process dream in which I am just thinking, like in real life, but when I wake up forget what I am thinking about. The notes went lowest note - highest note - second lowest note - second highest note repeating again and again. It didn't feel special enough of a tune to go to my computer to record the exact notes, and I don't remember the exact tune anymore.

Got up, brushed teeth and hair. Went back to sleep.

Mantra: 夢を見ています　(I am dreaming.) すごい夢を見ています (I am dreaming an awesome dream.) 嬉しい気持ち (happy feelings).

I thought maybe if I did my mantra in Japanese, I would dream in Japanese. I've had dreams in Japanese before.

7:08 am Haven't fallen asleep.
7:45 am Still not asleep.
9:59 am Just woke up.

3rd Dream - Part 2
Had a dream about Japanese school life (second time since watching the drama Limit). All of my classmates are Japanese, including me. I'm not really in the dream, seeing through a different girl's perspective. We're all at a restaurant. Then the police come to say there's been a murder. My friend, a guy, and I try to run to the back and escape because we're scared, but we end up sitting down at our table with our other friend, a girl. We learn that the murder has been committed by our other friend, who is often bullied. She killed her parents. I'm so shocked and wonder why. If she could kill her parents, she could kill her friends too. I can now picture her face clearly at this point in the dream. She's not really there, just my dream self remembering what she looks like. She looks like the manga artist from the drama Limit. I also remember being sad for her. I hear her screaming in my head, "来なくて" (go away) again and again, through it is grammatically incorrect and should be 来ないで. I run to my friend, a guy, sitting at another table. His presence feels like Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec. I hug him and he comforts me. Aside from that one line, the dream is in English. It wasn't scary, more like a movie. Last scene, we are leaving the restaurant in a car and I remember seeing a police van and wondering if our friend is in there.

3rd Dream - Part 1
Before this dream changed into a murder scene. I remember mixing a drink at the table with my friend, a girl. The presence is the same girl who was at the table in Part 2 of the dream. At this point we don't have distinguished ethnicities and I am myself. The drink was an orange-colored smoothie. We came to the idea that we want to pour orange-colored cough syrup in it. It tasted disgusting, like curdled milk. The cough syrup absolutely ruined the smoothie, separating the fruit juice from the cream, turning it a gray color with lumps. We realized it was a bad idea.

2nd Dream
My mom and the girl I nanny and her family. My mom wanted to plan some sort of event. I was in my mom's kitchen at one point and Nila's living room at another point. I asked my mom at one point if she was going to cook for the event, perhaps turkey. She had eating out/bringing in food from outside more in mind. I suggested a specific restaurant, but she didn't like the idea.

**Note: I know the name of the specific restaurant and wrote it in my physical dream journal, just leaving out that detail since it might reveal where I live.

1st Dream
I might've been at school. Hallway, elevator. Perhaps Japanese club. I think a presence like Michael Scott from The Office might've been there. Group of people.

All dreams were non-lucid. By the time I finished writing down my dreams it was 10:24 am.

Reflections: I want to meet the girl who looked like the manga artist from Limit (dream character) while lucid. I have a lingering feeling of wanting to know more about her.

This morning my husband woke me up to say goodbye before going to work. I got up and brushed my teeth (don't like the bad taste) then went back to bed. Like usual, before falling asleep I thought about the possibility of an intruder and worried I'd have another intruder, false-awakening, paralysis dream in which I knew I was awake.

I fell asleep with my cat on the bed and the cat was still sleeping with me in the dream. I remember seeing my window, which has brown curtains, and knowing that I was still sleeping. I could feel myself paralyzed in bed and wanted to wake up. At this point I was half paralyzed, as I was lifting up my arm, stretched out towards the window. In my thinking in the dream, I was half awake, but in reality it was all a dream and my real body outside of the dream wasn't moving at all. I thought if only I can move enough, then I'll fully wake up. Finally, I struggle off the bed and onto the floor, then hear a tune very audibly. It was unfamiliar to me. A few seconds later I wake up. When I wake up, I wonder if the tune was coming from outside the dream or fabricated in the dream (often I rely on cues from reality to help me wake up from false awakening dreams, like the radio or an alarm, but I didn't this time) and realized it was in the dream. I knew I didn't know the tune, but I wondered if it was the song from Helix that my dad sent me as a ringtone recently. It wasn't perfectly like it, but it reminded me of it. Now I don't remember how the tune goes. This is the first time that this particular reoccuring dream has had a tune in it.

This was all with the knowledge in my dream that this same scenario happens all the time, and when it happens an intruder will come or my husband will come home early. I want to wake up so badly because I don't want to face the intruder. This time I didn't face him at all. My last encounter with the intruder I was trying to block him from opening up the door and suddenly woke up (I wasn't aware I was dreaming in this instance). I've also seen him in person in the dream, an Asian man (my husband is Japanese), but looks nothing like my husband. But it didn't seem like he is going to hurt me.

Usually, I'm really scared of this dream happening. But now I want to face it and talk to the intruder. So I hope to post more dream journals here and track my progress on this particular dream.