Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream

ARRIGHT I'm awake wow I'm tired of being sick ugh why now my throat hurts this is lame I can't go back man I CAN'T GO BACK TO BEING SICK LIKE I WAS

...

man exercising was such a dumb idea. making myself write out my dream even though I don't feel like it to build character.

Dream 1 - Ben's Home, Betas
I like that title because it sounds like I'm either lazily listing the things that happened in the dream, or I'm telling some fish that Ben's home.

SO LET'S SEE first thing that happened was Ben arrived back from college on a bus. It was summer-ish and when he got off the bus we headed across a grassy field together where some older peeps were throwing a football around or something. They seemed to be people I'd used to look up to as the older people back in youth group, now post-college but apparently not too different from how they used to be or from how I would tend to view them. They said somethin' about Ben being back, and I tried to respond in a confident but sort of comedic voice which in the end just sounded strange and high to me. I was tryin' to be confident with what I said too, but I think it fell sort of flat like it tends to do.

Anyway I didn't dwell on that too long, and Ben and I wandered into this odd little ... secluded area on the other side of the field, directly across from where the bus had dropped him off. There was a pond with some piled stones serving as a boundary, and something was blocking out the sun and making it feel a little closed-in and quiet, but I'm not totally sure it was trees. Could've been stone walls.

Now HERE it was winter and the pond was partially frozen-over. It may have been flooded as well, because there were frozen beta fish chilling on the grass, three of 'em, all perhaps ten times the size of a normal beta fish. I reached for one, but it swam back to the pond somehow. The other two appeared more incapacitated, but after reaching under one to pick it up and consequently feeling its incredibly delicate jaw bone, I figured it would be best to not mess with 'em.

Dream 2 - Band's Back
wow just typing that made me feel some anxiety OH WELL LET'S DO THIS

First of all I was apparently on a journey to who knows where. As a result, I discovered a particularly talented singer, a girl from some school who I took back home with me. She then became part of our reformed band, now directed by mom and, as usual, featuring my sister and brother (still home from college).

At first I think I was just singing harmonies or playing guitar or somethin', but then Mom decided that I should be the one to sing the chorus. My first reaction was to protest while trying out my voice and realizing how pitchy I was. Then I actually gave it a fair shot, but the lyrics which the girl had sung so easily were considerably more difficult for me to do. For some reason there were always too many syllables in whatever line I was trying to sing, and with each line I grew more and more frustrated. Ben, meanwhile, seemed to be derisive of my struggles, like maybe I was just making it hard on myself by not really trying to figure out how it worked, and Jess didn't seem to care either way.

So it culminated with me storming off. Mom went with me and I ended up shouting at her something like, literally, "I've already tried this s**t before!". It was bleeped out and everything. Also some part of my mind was noticing that I was shouting louder than I'd ever shouted in my life, like there wasn't enough of my voice to get across just how much I hated all of this.

Long story short, though, I ended up wandering back to try again. And then Ben was Sam from Supernatural, which wasn't too different apparently. And then he got hit by a car or something. We weren't too concerned, but we did monitor him afterwards to see whether anything was different. He started painting decals on the walls, which was normal, but we paid close attention to the design choices. They all turned out car-related somehow which we took as a sign of something. And then I think I woke up.