Into the Ether

Dreaming is insane right now. I wish I cared enough to write it all, but I just don't have the time. This is the only dream worth recording from the most recent onslaught.

WILD

Awakening directly into my most favored realm I have a look around to see what has unfolded. I'm excited, usually excited to see what my mind has waiting for me. So far I'm in a house, it's dirty and trashed. I proceed through a few rooms and notice a few ghosts. They appear preoccupied with their own misery.

For a moment I contemplate interacting with them but they don't even notice me clanking around through the mess, who knows if they can even see me. Also, they don't look very interesting, basically human in a ghostly form; after a bit of mind reading I can see they're still thinking of human pain.

"HEY! We have to go! Hurry up!"

A man is shouting at me. He's normally not that bitchy in his commands. I look out a window and it seems the ... world is ending? Zombies, havoc, smoke, debris.

At first I fail to grab any items, what the hell do I need? Nothing. Things of sentimental value? Pfft. I don't collect those, I keep it simple.

We head outside. He informs me we won't be able to return to this place. It's going to be completely destroyed, this is the end of this world.

With news of this, I decide to go back inside and look for something potentially sentimental to take with me. Something to remember this entire world from, since it's going to be nonexistent. I mean, normal people do that right? Collect things? I'm standing back in the house now, searching for that item in the remaining moments of the world ending.

I snatch up my eye shadow from the bathroom and few other trivial items before heading back out.

"I'm ready."

He's already begun setting up some device. No clue what he's doing, how he's doing it, or what the thing is supposed to do. I simply watch, sorta detached from the entire 'world is ending' chaos.

He stands up and walks over to me, there might have been a couple other people with us too. I look to him for some sort of direction. He looks at the device, it begins making a humming noise and vibrates. There's some vague recall of blue lights emanating from it before we're pulled from existence.

Less than a second later I find us standing in an entirely new world.

We're in what sort of looks like an ice temple. The people around us are Asian in appearance. Seems like we're safe for right now. The man I came with finds another man and they speak for a while on the condition of this world. We walk outside and the sky is clear, people are out in the water fields harvesting rice. Except now I notice something unusual.

There are zombies in their rice fields and also zombies on the exterior walls. I look over to the two men for some sort of explanation because it's a shade suspicious. The leader of the this world informs us they've been able to keep the zombies contained to this area but there's some concern about the future. More zombies would be unfavorable. They don't know how to deal with them and thought the man I traveled with would have a reasonable solution for them. They continue talking while I go to peer into the rice fields.

Looking over a wall I can see the humans gathering rice near chained zombies. The zombies are reaching for them but the humans are careful about not getting too close. I can't help but wonder why they didn't just kill the zombies, this was an odd arrangement. I ask somebody about it and they explain that the zombies aren't doing any harm being chained in the water. So I ask about the quality of their rice since it's growing in zombie contaminated water. They mention it hasn't been an issue.

Weird, but ok. It's their world. I head back to the man I came with.

We head back inside. It's beautiful inside the temple, walls coated with glistening ice... although it's melting which might be a bad sign.

The man is tinkering with the device again, same thing with the humming and blue lights.

Less than a second later, new world. I still don't know what we're doing but I do like that device.

We're outside on a dirt road, buildings and an old truck nearby. A girl heads in our direction and begins talking about something completely normal. Before she has a chance to say anything else, the man with me stops her. He's quick and direct as he gives her advice for the question she hasn't had the chance to ask yet.

Or so I thought this was an entirely new world. As I'm reading her mind she's decently surprised he knew exactly what to say in regards to her unspoken question. I read his mind and it seems he's been here before. In fact, we've both been here. This is a past memory of his. I just don't have any waking memory of being here but my dreaming self has.

He's politely gotten rid of the girl and he walks fast toward a nearby house. We enter and I stand around, almost waiting for more zombies or agendas. Makes no difference to me, this realm always ends at some time. It's just a place to hang while my waking body rests. I look out the window I'm leaning against, wondering when time will be up.

Pulled from my thoughts by his footsteps, I turn to look. He's walking over to me then kisses me hard. I can feel how much he loves me, is in love with me. I'm in love with him too, tho it's not the waking me. Sadly this isn't a real world. It's A world, but it's not real. The waking me can't love in these realms. I want this realm and the waking realm. Continuity. One person, one mind, one love. Enough with the compartmentalization.

Surprisingly he's aware of this. He acknowledges my desire to have him in both worlds but he hasn't found a method to transcend his love into the waking.

I half-smile at him, I know that he knows and he knows that I know. So until then, it is what it is.

Time's up.

K and I are at the beach, in the ocean but near the shore. We're talking when I notice about 20 backpacks floating in the water nearby. I look at K, she looks at me, we're both thinking the same thing.

Wtf?

She grabs one. They're unchanged by the water. She wants to take one. I'm not big on stealing and decide to ask somebody about the bags. Somebody says it's fine to take. K is trying to pick one out for me, asking what I want. One is pink on pink, another blue and pink. She holds up a pink one. Pink isn't really my thing. I tell her to grab the white one since she's now swimming in the middle of the bags.

In the middle of this a group of . . . templars? arrive and stand on the beach. They're wearing a sort of greenish uniform with some hard shell padding in the usual places (knees, elbows, etc). They call me over. I get out to see what they want. I'm immediately handcuffed and told that I'm under arrest.

Wtf?

I look at K for some sort of help with making the mental connect. I thought I was kosher with the templars, we had an arrangement. Judging by the shocked expression on her face, it's clear she has no clue what going on. I tell her not to do anything, let me figure out what's going on first. I'm not sure if she heard me as it was said telepathically.

We arrive at a templar compound and I'm being overseen by one of their higher profile men. There was somewhat of a trial but not really. Judge, jury, and executioner was one person. I'm about to be escorted to my new long term home when I decide this bullshit.

As we're walking, the man is smug about my future. His gait as he's walking and the fact that he leaves a lot of room between us shows me he doesn't consider me a threat. Using this I decide to stray a bit further back, begin to clean up the room we're in, organizing things, making it aesthetically pleasing.

A woman who carries herself with more than enough self confidence walks into the room. She's very pleased with the new look.

My thought process was, in a cell I'll be limited with options. I need to keep out of a cell and to do that, I need to appeal to somebody with power. This woman offered an out.

My escort seemed decently impressed too. In the middle of this pause, news arrives of an impending attack. People get busy, woman leaves, man is left to escort me to the cell again, but since their resources are preoccupied I make a move.

I slip out from the handcuffs and make a run for it. He tries to stop me but I evade his attempts to get a grip on me. The attack has begun and he leaves me to respond.

At the border of the compound there are two templars, young, they don't even look like real templars due to their humanity showing through. It doesn't take me long to convince them that I'm just visiting a friend in the compound and due to the attack, thought it best to leave.

They let me pass the border and soon after I've acquired a vehicle. Finally making it to a very massive highway, I feel a sense of relief. I get my bearings, figuring out where I am. I can't tell really, cities are beneath me and up ahead I can make out storm clouds. I take a closer look and it's a very large storm, almost a hurricane?

Driving straight into it I decide that would offer the best cover. Once I've entered the city I ditch the car and head inside. I head through a parking garage when I hear loud voices talking, they sound like they're looking for somebody. Not taking any chances I decide to leave. I find sort of like an elevator room and pass through one door.

"I think she's over here!" I hear one of them say.

Once I'm in the room, I head to the opposite side of the it, create another door. Pass through that door. Then another door, and another, and another. That should slow them down at least a little.

I still hear them but it's a maze of doors. I take off in another direction and after a brief run I finally approach a wall.

A door forms.

I open the door and walk in, closing it as I catch my breath. My eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, there's just a faint glow in the center.

A man is standing under the glow and I feel a sense of relief with a mild case of terror. It dawns on me that the one person I seem to trust has no army and no allegiance.

Less sleep and no agenda.

1. Swimming in the ocean with another ocean dweller. We both have fins instead of legs. We're laughing until I realize a third finned ocean dweller is above the water and tied with rope. The two of us under the surface consider untying the third but a man arrives and uses the third to track me and the other. Something about her tears falling into the water made things difficult for us. We had to avoid the tears but the tears also seemed to prevent us from leaving the immediate area, creating a sort of hurricane boundary we couldn't pass.

2. It's night out and I walk out of an office in a questionable building in a questionable neighborhood. I see two people who work for the property owner, they approach me. One of them is helpful the other is more of a body guard and informs me the boss is using my office and I'll need to stay out until he's finished.

I'm annoyed. How long will business take and how long will I be forced to linger outside? I walk into the office and notice the boss sitting there, large heavy set man, crime boss.

After greeting him I go back outside. Guess they were telling the truth. Well, fuck. Now what to do with myself.

3. Deciding to go play in a gym, I find some old teammates. As I attempt to make a layup the ball deflates. I fall and then get up and swap the ball out with one that has air. A man stops me and tells me I can't do that. I ask him why not. He says we already have too many of theirs that we're using. I'm confused. It's a gym. We're using two. Seriously? This doesn't make any sense and I take the ball anyway and pass it to a teammate. I stare at him and wait for him to say something.

A game is about to begin when our team is informed we aren't allowed to play. There's an issue with our uniforms and some overall prejudice with our team. Personally I don't care too much, if they're really this much of an asshole it's not worth it. Yet I can see the starting five players becoming worked up. This is their life, this is where they've placed their self-value. . . in the game of basketball. I might not care but they do.

I go and talk to a couple of referees to figure out exactly what the issue is. Turns out they didn't want to play us. We're too skilled of a team. That's a bullshit reason but whatever, it's their gym so we leave.

One of the girls needs a ride. I hang back and try to make a few calls. Seems I've lost my car.

The three of us were able to meet up at what we're using as a Home base. Next objective we wanted to try was talking to the people there, since we all recalled at least 6 or 7 additional people with us who we didn't intend to see.

1. Almost tantric like coitus with man I love but don't actually know.

2. WG is with her sister (?) and I'm tagging alone. They both seem to want to color their hair.. and pick up boxes to do that.

3. There's an event, I'm trailing behind Wg and her sister when I had to fall behind. I finished and caught up with them but they're turning a corner. I consider catching up and at least saying 'goodbye' before I head off on my own. Yet they seem pretty immersed in their conversation that I decide not to.

4. As soon as I turn around, the coitus-tantric-sex man reappears behind me. He pulls out paper and has a confused expression on his face. We figure out that he won a prize. It was covertly placed into his jacket pocket (black tie-ish event). The paper had three red letters on a white rectangular shaped paper. T-I-F I think. Never figured out what that meant.

5. I work with him to to claim the prize, he doesn't know what he should do. I speak to a nearby event staff to get the info with claiming the prize. There was a sequencing of events and not much time left to get it done. I place the guy in a nearby line to buy some ticket (buying a second ticket for something was the first step). There was one or two things left, we got to the last part and we're near train tracks now. He scratches off part of the ticket to reveal the even larger prize and he doesn't win it. I don't even think he wanted to win it, lol.

6. He's done and laying on the ground now, facing toward the sky. Laughing, I tell him to go claim the prize. It's still $300 which he seemed to be able to use. That and the contest itself was the big deal, not the prize.

7. We get to the area for him to claim the prize and I notice there's a man in a pink ballerina outfit sitting on his knees, he's also wearing a goofy smile. Turns out there are two men who are having a discreet discussion underneath the man in the tutu. I peek under because it's strange and notice a waaaaay too revealing set of pink undergarments and quickly remove myself.

8. I go back to the man who won the prize, he looks at me with such a playful smile as he tells me he didn't want the prize.

9. I return to Home base and find a small room inside. I'm trying to fix something, it almost looks like a toilet but for some reason it had a really weird shape to it (heh, maybe a fountain?) There was a porcelain part and a wicker top part. NH shows up and tries to help me, but he's moreso not helping.

A couple friends and I are working on a shared dreaming project. One which involves a still standing Castle in Europe and using it as a home base.

1. Visiting a place near a body of water. Looked like our Home Castle, yet different in certain ways. I never went inside, but there was water surrounding the property, clear water, fresh (didn't look like the pictures we viewed.) On the edges of the water had a lot of plants and vegetation, it actually could have passed for a luxury hotel. I'm with others. We board a medium sized water vessel with a group of people and visited a nearby island. Sen (?) and I went swimming underwater, think Wg was nearby too. I watched as someone transformed themselves into a barracuda type fish. Other fish swam away, haha. Then I changed too. Shortly after the island adventure I'm standing in front of a woman with another man. She tells him that it's too bad he's not taller with blonde hair. Odd.

2. When we were done we went back to the Castle. I was running around searching for something. Forgot what. Eventually I find a puppy and recall floods in. I realize I was at the Castle earlier in dreaming and now I'm trying to figure out a way to keep the recall (lol), thinking that none of this will be remembered (LOL). I'm also either trying to get a message from the puppy or I'm trying to give it a message for Wg and Sen. It was small, mostly white with brown spots.

3. Some point along the night I was in Egypt. There was a ceremony but also a disruption. I vaguely recall racing through corridors trying to escape something (come to think of it, that may have been the caves.)

4. Then at another point I'm driving and manage to crash about three vehicles, moving from one to the next. When I crashed the third I realized perhaps driving isn't the best thing for me to be doing. I seem to be having a bad string of luck with cars/motorcycles. The final vehicle I crash I'm able to move with my mind to get it out of the way of other traffic (I was in a one-lane area of a very busy highway.)

5. I'm on a stretch of road and climb into the back of a parked truck. There's something inside I'm going after. I find it, it's a clear large vial/jar. I read the label on it, it's a lethal virus (can't recall the name.) I'm careful as I open it, vapor streams from the opening. I hold my breath, thinking that might help. I remove the lid completely, invert it, insert a long tube then replace the lid. Hop out and run back to a waiting car (think Sen was driving).

6. I make my way inside a nearby university/Castle? I talk to a few people, then a male professor, then I find an Indian woman sitting in a large open room on the steps. I sit down near her and we speak respectfully. (Felt like the Priestess). She's heavy-set, older, tan skin (first time I've seen her in human form, usually it's whispy ethereal forms.) She shows me something, she takes a piece of what looks like coal and ingests it. It enters her body and I can see the reaction in her, smoke begins pouring from skin, it's eating her flesh from the looks of it. I'm concerned at this point, standing up about to try and assist, when she stands up and then shits out the piece of coal. Her body returns to the prior healthy appearance and she smiles at me. Again, I think this was another lesson for me but again, the lesson is difficult to grasp. A woman of very few, if any, words.

The hopelessness seeps through the armor I've molded for myself, it eats away at my flesh as though it were acid.

I'm not returning there.

Escaping thoughts of the past, I feel it pulling me, dragging me back into the darkness. Grabbing the most solid image I can, I escape it before I'm submerged into the depths.

I see a friend, M, I haven't spoken to in a very long time. Make a proposal to him.

"I need your help."

"Ok."

"It's just, there's an issue-- wait, you just said ok?"

"Yes."

"Do you know why I'm here?"

"Yes."

He touches me on the side of my head and images begin to flicker within my mind.

I see us together, from his perspective. I'm sitting in front of him, talking, when black almost formless figures begin seeping into the space from behind me. I haven't seen them yet but he has. Before either of us do anything I watch as I'm being dragged away, down into the floor, past the floor, fighting against them. He tunnels after, trying to follow.

He pulls his hand from my temple.

"Wonderful! I don't have to explain then."

I just need a quiet, safe place to go over my methods. Being dumped into pointless dream after pointless dream means I waste energy leaving those dreams instead of thinking of a long term plan. The illusions are busy work. I need time, my friend can buy me more time.



He agrees. I head off to resolve the issue. I find a couple friends, one of which is the person I was looking for, Sen. Sen and others are here, in a hotel rooms of sorts. Waiting. Sen gets a phone call, it's time to move.

We leave and as I get downstairs there's a bus waiting. Sen ushers me onto it, I worry I forgot my phone but then as I dig around for it, I hear them shouting at me to get on. I do.

Once my foot touches the platform the bus moves. I struggle to pull myself fully on board. I assumed they'd come with me but they're not. I find a seat.

Looking out the windows it's clear we're speeding. Then we're going faster, fast enough to blur the images. It almost looks like we're in New York. Then the environment changes to more Asian influences. The bus stops. I get off. There are Chinese people nearby. I silently walk past them.

Eventually I arrive in a room, like an observatory. There's a large pole in the middle of the room as well as Sen's ancestor, a Voodoo Priestess I had met a number of times before.

A dead body is moved along the floor, then up against the wall, then overhead, only to be hit by an oncoming object from the opposite direction. The body bounces and returns to the original location. Then another sequence begins, this time the force has more impact to the body.

After the second sequence, lightning strikes the top of the pole, many bolts of lightning. I watch it, trying to understand.

"Don't look at the pole, this part will damage your (she either said mind or eyes)."

Quickly I look away, assuming it was one of those rules like don't stare at the sun.

Soon after this session fades, I'm in the mountains, trying to escape again. The area is too large to explore so I use a method similar to google maps. I drop a pin into a location, land there, observe the routes it leads to, then pick the pin up and redrop it someplace else. There's a specific exit I'm searching for.

Finding the direction I want I leave. I arrive at a lake with a friend. We jump from the top of a waterfall before other smaller issues arise.

As the night begins I find myself suckered into cleaning up a Spring Break motel room after an escapade of filthy sex. Not my own mind you, I was hired. As I'm digging through the mess, I find odd items. Old toys which I can't make sense of. Staying here seems like a waste of time. I look for an exit but two men interfere with my departure. They tell me I have a job to do. I tell them no, I don't. I head back into the room and they leave yet remain nearby. I manage to rip a hole in the wall and leave that way.

I emerge into an old home of mine. I walk around. My close friend, K, is already here. She wants Starbucks again. We walk downstairs to the Starbucks, she gets her drink but I have a nagging feeling I can't get rid of.

We go back upstairs and I sense it again. Something is following me. Something dark and heavy but I can't see it and it doesn't interact with me.

I ignore it since I can't pinpoint it. I go into a bedroom to rest. I fall asleep and wake up looking at a computer screen. People are chatting, I'm reading the lines of text, nothing out of the ordinary for chat rooms. Until a symbol shows up on the screen.

A glowing red eye appears at the bottom of the page and the chatter picks up. I look at the name next to the eye and it's Mzzkc. I lean away from the screen. Look left then right. Hrm.

I haven't typed anything into chat yet and don't feel like I should. I'm about to log out when suddenly I get an invitation to join a call. Silently I click 'accept' and wait.

Mzzkc is in the middle of talking to a group of us about a video game he's designed. I can't recall specifics, it was nerd-speak on the mechanics of it but I understood enough to know he was talking about the 'how' in regards to the creation of the game.

A moment later I'm pulled through the screen of my computer and am within the game. Others are here with me and we're standing while listening to Mzzkc continue his lecture. I'm still decently confused of the 'how' and the 'why' behind this but don't mind it enough to leave yet.

Along the way we passed through a barricaded hallway. I stared at the barricade for a long while, trying to make sense of the mess. Many fire extinguishers and boxes. . . varying types and sizes for both.

We're doing a walk through of the progression of the game. We're guided through a school, eventually finding our way to a laboratory with a medical chair in the middle of the room. We walk into a connected room with windows and vials bordering the walls. As we walk around this area a werewolf looking character emerges. Startled, I prepare to fight it but soon realize it's not real. Sort of like a hologram or a replica of the real thing. The attention to detail in the character is impressive, in fact everything so far holds an excessive attention to detail.

I haven't said much so far but decide to walk out. I walk down a driveway and then continue along the side walk for a short distance.

"Hey, wait up."

Mzzkc is walking on the grass at an angle before arriving in front me. He keeps walking, says something, then points out the snake nest to my right.

"They won't bother you if you don't bother them." He points right in front of me.

I look down. There's a couple coral snakes that I would have stepped on with my next step if he hadn't pointed them out.

Slowly I step away but one of the snakes takes an interest and follows me. I slowly shift directions but the snake moves for me. I'm forced to jump to avoid it, when I land it comes at me again, I jump again and the cycle repeats a few times before I ask for help.

Mzzkc catches it attention and it follows after him, which gives me enough time to leave.

I'm now in a house nearby, safely away from the snakes. Then I see some kids running outside as I run inside. I'm concerned they'll run into the nest and head out after them.

Turns out they've found a snake and they're hovering over it, staring at it curiously.

I walk over and get to them before they've touched it, managing to pick the snake up and hold it near the neck.

I can't seem to keep a solid grip on it and the longer I hold the snake, the more the flesh degrades and falls apart. Yet it's still alive and able to strike so I continue to hold it, considering tossing it but aren't sure the risks involved with tossing it free. I become worked up with holding it and eventually break down.

"Mzzkc!"

"Mzzkc!"

"Mzzkc!!!"

He comes running out of the house I was just in, passes through the garage, and comes to help take the snake from me. Just in time for me to wake up.

Notes from a couple nights ago:

Walking in downtown. Sad about recent things. Happy about others. A project I was invested in for the past three months has finally been completed. Knowing it was a temporary project I knew it would end at some point so I was careful about over investing of myself. Yet when all was said and done, my objective completed, I couldn't help but feel the odd emotion of sadness. The people are what I miss. The person I was able to portray, that character is also somebody I will miss.

Now I'm left to my own devices again. Another successful assignment and yet I don't quite understand why I feel the way I do. I was successful. Everything I set out to do has been completed. It was a win. I should be elated and patting myself on the back.

Strangely, I'm not.

That is a lifetime I would enjoy living but again, I can't settle into that lifetime. Any lifetime. I must move on to the next assignment. Must remain unattached.

What comes next is a wave of oddities.

One dream I'm on an airplane disposing of drunken pilots. Another I'm with a friend from the assignment I just completed and entertaining her ideas for being a teacher. Another dream I'm with an old boss and assisting her in building her team and office. Then at another point I'm with that same boss, doing a poor job of driving a vehicle she asked me to drive, running into old men at the bottom of a drive way and then having the car vanish only to have trouble ascending the drive way.

I run into friend D. D blabbers at me something profound, yet I know in waking he's a Dick. I turn him into a toad to match his internal appearance. He continues to blabber, not having noticed the change in his dreaming body. Of course not.

Picking up I kiss him. I'm not a princess, quite the opposite of something pure and royal.

I watch as he forms warts all over his body and then as those begin to ooze slime.

Still, he blabbers.

I'm tempted to kill this form of his, knowing he'll respawn elsewhere.

Pulsing a few charges of energy into my hand, I'm now holding a dagger. I place him on the ground and whisper to him, "If you are not aligned in your totality, I will kill you each time you land yourself within my eyesight."

The dagger slices through his reptilian skin and I observe the life force dissipate.

Sinking into the void I search after something to meet my need. Flipping through various fields of emptiness, I finally stumble upon something I like. I can see an outline of a figure and approach him. As I walk closer I can see more of him, he’s coming into focus.

Pushing my energy onto him, I use it as a form of foreplay. I can feel him inhale it and his energy shift. He reaches toward me and places his hand on my waist, gently pulling me closer. I take a step forward, leaning against his chest. As I’m brushing my lips against his, I smile. Our eyes lock for a brief moment before I lean further into him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

Trailing delicate kisses along the inside of his neck, I give a sudden tug against his lower back to feel his growing interest. I can hear a moan escape his lips as I reach my hand from the back to the front of his pants. I observe the expression on his face as I trace the metal on his zipper. He closes his eyes a second before reopening them.

I consider this effective foreplay and skip the other unnecessary steps. I’d prefer not to waste time.

A wooden bench forms behind him and I guide him to it, encouraging him to have a seat. Once he’s settled I place my hands on his shoulders as I lower myself on top of him. Lowering the straps of my dress to reveal my breasts, I run my fingers through his hair before pulling his mouth onto my neck. His wet kisses send a trail of goosebumps through my spine, causing my back to arch and his mouth to settle over a hardened nipple.

My knees push themselves over the rough surface of the unfinished wooden bench. The contrasting sensations from the abrasiveness of the wood compliment the sensuality of his tongue against my heated flesh.

Reaching between my legs, I unzip his pants as he’s still attached to me. I grind myself onto him, pushing him deeper into me with each circular movement. I lift his head from my breasts to look into his eyes. I breathe more of myself into him and he takes me in willingly. I can see the euphoric daze as it floods his mind. As he exhales I place my mouth against his, urging his lips apart with my tongue.

He shifts abruptly and begins thrusting into me. Bracing myself against him, I push my fingertips into the skin on his back. I’m moaning into his ear, telling him how good he feels fucking me. He’s fucking me faster until I feel him forcefully grip my hips and pull me as near to him as he can manage. He holds me firmly in place as he spills himself into me; each pulse of release sends a chill through my body. It feels incredible.

Once he’s drained I pull myself from his lap. I reach between my legs, touching our shared wetness as I smear it over my clit, just ‘cause. I’m about to leave when I notice another pair of eyes focused on me. My eyes dart to where the focus is coming from and I’m surprised to see W. standing there. How long has she been there? I don’t mind, but I thought she wouldn’t want to watch something like this. If she had made herself known sooner, I would have tried pulling her in to join us. As they often say, it’s two, not one. She would make three. Three is better than both two and one.

Arguing with myself, again.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Sure, I did."

"You can't expect to accomplish something like that."

"Results weren't a significant concern."

"I don't understand you."

"Yes, you do."

"Maybe, a little."

"Please. You've known me for years. You know the ins and outs of my mind like the back of your/my hand. You practically are me when you choose to be."

"True."

"So how does it feel to know I really am trying to kill you?"

"You're only trying to kill me because you love me."

"Do I?"

"Yes."

"Yet I'm willing to sentence your memory into non-existence. Sounds like a cheap form of love."

"You just don't know how to love."

"True. Haven't had much time to practice that skill."

"Maybe you should."

"Maybe if I had the opportunity, I would."

"You're not taking me seriously."

"Of course I am. Hey, is that mustard on your face?"

"Yes. You can't keep doing what you're doing."

"I've got little reason to change."

"You don't even care do you?"

"Got little reason to do that too."

"So you'll do what now? Erase me and . . ."

"Dunno. Didn't think that far ahead."

"Maybe you should have."

"Maybe. Don't really have a reason to tho."

"What are you doing? Care dammit."

"Not this time. Consider the cycle severed. Thank you for riding, please watch your step on the way out."

Had a pretty random dream about Auron, a mod here.

I had just arrived at a meeting with other dreamers elsewhere. Everyone was sitting at an elongated table just chatting. Then when I looked to the center of the table did I spot Auron. He was sitting there quietly. Not talking to anyone else. Wondered why he was here, this was supposed to be a somewhat private function.

Then again, I suppose there are no rules in dreaming and there aren't any figurative locks one can put on a mind.

Anyway, guess he wanted to join! God knows why, it was a pointless meeting. Nothing was accomplished besides people simply arriving there.

Stumbled upon an idea for dreaming after having it repeated numerous times in my waking life. I've been looking at things from merely one end of the spectrum. For example, I read a thread recently where it mentioned how to stay in a dream when waking life gets too noisy. I usually go deeper to block it out, yet incorporating it was the new suggestion. There's also been some events in life where I would blame myself for having deficiencies but instead it was pointed out that it's possibly others who have them instead.

Anyway, I usually can interject myself into others dreams quite easily. I got to thinking, what if ...

I erase myself from their worlds instead of invading it?

Jumping into a WILD I begin my exploration of this concept. I know the perfect victim for my experiment and I have the proper motivation to delete myself from his awareness. I start digging, rummaging through his awareness. Searching for anything and everything linked to me. I see bits and pieces whiz by and I fill it with a blank white void, successfully erasing images, memories, anything associated with me or us.

As I'm casually taking out the pieces I want, I get to thinking.

Is this fair? Right? What if he'd like to keep these things from our history? Who am I to just delete at will?

I can feel a smirk forming.

He shouldn't care what I do, and when I'm done he'll have no reason to care at all. He will be untouched and his life emptier than when I entered it. What I give, I can take away too.

I continue sorting. Feels as though I'm in an information hub of awareness, there's just so much here. I begin to doubt the extent of how much I can erase. There's no way I can comb through all this crap.

A man appears. I vaguely recognize him, though these days everyone is familiar to me so I don't give it much thought. He asks me what I'm doing. I explain. He's watching with some fascination, asking questions here and there, commenting on much of it. I stumble upon larger memories and my pace slows. I remember some of these experiences, they were lovely.

I let him watch a clip or two before erasing. They are vivid and intimate pieces of our lives.

He asks me if I feel sad about removing these memories. I explain it's just an experiment. That and I don't care what happens with this persons life anymore. He's not mine to look after.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course. Why not? I have no reason to care about him."

"These memories though, they look like something even I would want to hold on to."

"It's because you feel attachments to people. I have no reason to feel anything. Nothing to attach to. It doesn't matter to me."

I erase what he just viewed. Not too sure why I'm showing him what I'm doing either. Why not, I guess. His observation doesn't change things. It won't make a difference.

"By the way, what's your name anyway?"

"Nick."

I sit down at a bar, having a good time while I can.

"Buttery nipples for us!"

My favorite drink of this lifetime. Pure fun. I remember the one and only time I've had these in waking life. A friend's going away party with just three of us non-fucking lesbians.

I down a shot. It tastes exactly how I remember it. I wonder if this time I'll black out too. I don't.

Later in the night I head out and take myself for a walk in the snow.

Dream characters pop up alongside the sidewalk. I pass each one, watching as they fizzle out moments after their manifestation.

It's so empty these days. There's got to be someone I can create to have a play partner. I need to outdo the last creation. Something bigger and more encompassing, with numerous conflicting personality traits.

None of these match what I'm searching for. All I want is something entertaining.

I manifest myself a slice of pepperoni pizza and eat it while I think.

Already done everything I want in dreams. Not much interest in people at this point. Best experiences lately have been when interacting with animals. They don't ask questions. No titillating goals, no fears, no more concern. No more enthusiasm. Yet I have to be here nightly. I must find something worthwhile to do. Must be entertained. What to do.

Maybe I'll go and get hitched in dreaming. Find some muggle man to torment nightly. Create dream babies and adopt a demon or two. Maybe. That could be fun for a few weeks.

I'd rather play with aliens. Not a bad idea either. They might top 'animals' at this point.

Entering a classroom setting, a group of us are instructed to find a seat and begin the test.

Test? What test?

After a few failed attempts, I manage to find a seat and flip open the booklet.

Ah, bubble answers, I can do this.

I bubble in a few things; I seem to know what I’m doing when the test format changes to a computer.

Uh, what exactly am I doing?

I glance over to my neighbor and he doesn’t seem to have a laptop yet suddenly I know what to do. There’s a first person shooter game I’m supposed to ‘play’.

Alright! Game playing, easy as pie. Picking up the mouse, I begin executing a hoard of virtual zombies. Strange, but completely doable.

Game ends. I wait for the results, my score. I can’t seem to read the numbers? Or are they letters?

Now we all sit and listen to a lecture. It’s interesting and the speaker is in the field I want to be in. He’s also decently charismatic until he says something funny about not liking vegetarians.

Oh, that’s right, I’m slowly transitioning into vegetarianism… sort of. Guess I’m included in his statement.

The girl I happen to be sitting next to is giving off a strong vibe. I look at her a moment. She has brown hair, tall, athletic, vibrant. Do I know her? I feel like I know her.

Dream transitions and now it’s post academic setting. We’re bonding at a hotel, with a large water slide. My new friends are shouting at me to jump down the slide. I feel a little foolish but decide I should have some fun. I kick off the boots I happen to be wearing, remove my cell phone from my pocket, then take a running leap through the entrance to the large water slide.

Practically flying down the slide, I can feel the rush of the cool water, the wind against my face, my breathing quicken. I haven’t done this for ages.

Seeing the end in sight and a friend nearby, I attempt to fly backward, mid-flight, and head over to my friend. However, once I hit the water, sinking into the middle of the pool, I hover there a moment. Treading water underneath the surface, I look around and take in the refreshing environment. I feel the beauty of the place.

I get out and wander around the hotel at some point, still with the same group of people.