buzzlightyear

i had just a tiny window of weak lucidity this morning, but it was interesting anyway

[non-lucid] i was with two people and was holding a black box.. more tablet-like than cubical. i'm not sure but i think the two DCs were trying to tell me i was dreaming, and then the box spoke to me and said, "you are not the master of your own universe." (after waking i found this funny because it's super cheesey and not a way that i'd ever articulate myself, but my subconscious did.)

[semi-lucid] i think when the box said that, i got the hint that i was dreaming and became weakly lucid. i didn't "physically" perform my RC (nose pinch) in the dream but i kind of thought about it.. it felt like did it in another dimension i was partly connected to, like i felt the sensation of a sharp inhale through my nose, but i didn't do the RC in that original setting. it's hard to explain. and then it also felt like i opened my WL eyes for a split second and closed them again.

^that kind of thing happened the first time i LD'd. last time, though, i really thought my WL hands were in front of my face in tandem with my dream hands when they were stabilizing. when i awoke though, they were in a position that would have made it completely improbable that my WL hands had even moved an inch. i think my brain and body (both waking and dreaming) are kind of getting confused because when i'm weakly lucid my waking and dreaming brains are overlapping.. or becoming one. or something. i don't know! .. i am not the master of my own universe.

First RC was triggered by my dream partner saying "This is weird, it's like a movie" about the way another dream character was acting. I got so excited when it worked that my whole dream body began to tingle intensely. Things began to gray and I attempted to stabilize by staring at my hands, they were grayed out and hard to see. The funny thing is, is that I thought my waking life's hands were doing it alongside my dream body hands- there was some lapse in logic here. Maybe it's because it felt so real? When I woke up though, to my surprise, my hands were crossed and folded and stuffed in the sheets and I realized that I couldn't have just been holding them in front of my waking life face.

During my second successful LD, I stabilized and then decided to keep taking notes (which is what I was doing before i did a RC) so as not to disturb or excite my mind too much- I didn't want to lose this one again.... Then I couldn't help myself and decided to fly . I floated upwards and soon enough, everything grayed out. Then I had a semi false awakening type-experience and told dream characters I just had a lucid dream! What I mean by "semi false awakening type-experience" is that after the dream world grayed out when I was flying, the same setting came back but I was on the ground and when I was running around telling people I LD'd I wasn't fully lucid anymore and I think that my dream brain thought I was awake? I'm not sure!
I have this impression that dreams are supposed to feel as vivid and sensory as waking life. But when I awoke from my LD's, upon remembering them, they felt distinctly different than real life in that they did not feel as vivid, at all. I wonder, and maybe y'all will have insight to this as well, if it was because of my over-excitement and the resulting graying-out? I'm not sure what to think. Maybe I'm just prone to fuzzy dreams? Is that a thing? I hope not!