Caden

a
February 20, 2011

I walk into an area that has a lot of shelves with all kinds of stuff on them. I pick up a fake plastic tree that’s standing in the way and put it on a table and realize that I just knocked off the top half of the tree. I look around to see if it is laying somewhere and see a lot of other stuff. I look back at the tree only to see it is a dog now but this makes sense to me because it is half, like the tree. I feel really sorry for this half dog and can see inside his halved intestines and think about if the other half will still connect and if he will be OK. Then there is a girl there and she is upset at the dog being halved. She yells “this is all your fault!” Me: “He’ll be ok don’t worry so much.” “you don’t understand he’s just a DOG!” Me: “We’ll get his parts and he’ll be ok!” I then take the half body outside and put it down gently. I go back inside but no one is in there now, there was a guy around too but he didn’t say anything. I went outside again confused and the dog was walking around! He only had 3 legs but at least he was improving!

I see some similarities to other dreams I have been having. “be ok don’t worry so much” were the words from another dream a few days ago. I will heed my subconscious’ warning and not worry so much.

Edit: 2/25/2011
I walked inside a building the other day I heard a girl yell "It'll be OK don't worry so much" to her friend. I was shocked by this and hurriedly walked around a corner and did a RC! I have been hearing this statement so much lately, dreams and waking life.

a

Feb 25, 2011

Dream 1: Paris

I am riding my bicycle in the area I lived as a kid. It was a boring ride and I thought how I could be doing other things. I saw a vision of being in a part of France. I thought this at least looked promising and chose it and then was there. Me and some DC friends walked around. I walked away from them up to a theater looking place and a guy came out and told me how we could walk around and my friend could be safe. A force-field could be extended from the theater and balled around my friend but he couldn’t go too far like that. The guy was waiting for me to answer him so I looked off in the distance to my right before answering only to look back and see that he had vanished. I realized he was a DC and taking your attention from them they vanish; no prob. I ran off to my buddies who were still there. They were by a wide river like the Seine of Paris looking around and a couple were looking at a map or something. In the distance over some buildings I saw a tower and a little something that looked like the Eiffel tower but a lot shorter.
We looked around and found a sandwich shop. You made sandwiches yourself like a salad bar. I made an egg omelet sandwich [hey this is actually a great idea]. The guy behind me was a local and was going crazy with all the different condiments he was putting on his huge submarine-like sandwich. He showed me all the things and ways to put is all on a “fixin” like this.

The dream ended but I refused to wake up and…

Dream 2: Purse Throwing Contest

I was in a Caribbean country and the locals were betting on the hotly contested local favorite pocketbook throwing contest! I saw a tall skinny guy throw a purse at this big white painted board and then go pick it up, he had just finished the round. Then they all set their bets again and the pocketbooks started to be thrown one at a time, each guy trying to hit this big white painted piece of plywood with black numbers painted on the top from 100 to 170. The numbers were out of order making the game harder. The guy I was watching threw a big pocketbook that was white with yellow, red, and green floral patterns on it, it looked so out of place in his hands. He hit 120 which was right next to the 170 and he and his supporters all went “OH!” and he slumped down with a smile disappointed, while his opponents and their supporters laughed.

a
This took place a few years ago maybe 2006.

Background: I am white and American and have had black friends but that's about it.

My dream had me as a young man about 21 walking on a typical street with my guy friends. I knew I was black and I could see my hands and also felt this was a dream. I knew my friends and all their peculiar aspects that make people different. I felt the freedom of dreaming and knowing it and being white and yet never being able to shout the word I did so now, "Yo nigga! Nigga nigga nigga!" My friends looked at me like I was really stupid like "whats your damage?" That was not what I expected, as a white person you come to fear that word lest you start a fight or be branded a racist. My friends continued walking down the street more discussing some crazy things this guy did. I was looking around at street lamps and random stuff so I could see the world through a black mans eyes, of course there was no difference. Then I started to float above my friends and looked down at them as one of them was getting all animated telling this story.
Then I was in a nice house, I was the same person and felt the same. My coat was no longer on and I was wearing a childish looking striped shirt and I was in a bedroom, my bedroom. I recognized it and yet knew I had never seen it before. I walked out of the room to look around. In the hallway a my sister [never seen this girl before and yes she was a black attractive girl maybe in her mid teens] came out of a room and started yelling stuff at me, she was really angry. I had never seen this girl before so I just stood there thinking of how strange this was getting. She stopped and waited for me to say something but before I could my mom walked in [yes another person I never have laid eyes on], "What is going on in here?" My sister yelled a lot that I was doing something to upset her. I was starting to identify with my new self and didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to say the wrong thing and make things worse. This was getting intense and I could feel my dad [he was a quiet guy but large, the strong silent type but the mom ran the show, and yes he is unknown to me, as a white man anyways.] My sister on a rampage yelled "BUT MOM???" I felt I had to get out of there and the dream, or whatever it was, faded. I woke up happy to be out of there but glad I had a new appreciation for the Afro-American experience.

a
2/18/2011

Mall Hospital

All one long dreaming marathon, I'd conservatively guess at an hour in duration.

Its night and I am flying around over some highways. [I find myself doing this often, I fly following the highway, this often turns into a driving dream.] I see a shipping port off to left and for some reason think that Superman's evil friends are coming into town. Then they are supposed to be in the car I am in. Then I imagine they are shooting lasers out their eyes at the under part of the over pass but I know they aren’t really here at all.

I am exploring in a building. There is no one in there but imagine there is and I am fighting them, almost like how a kid imagines that his action figures are real. I hide behind this and that and throw a flask of exploding oil. I feel that I would have won at this point and leave through the double doors.
I am in a mall like place with a lot of different people, hundreds, of all ages. I walk around and see some places that look like hospital rooms and those hospital desks where the professionals sit and do their work.

This huge mall hospital had a children’s section which I found after much walking. I saw one boy looking up at a hanging mobile. It was a colorful fish I thought. I saw water dripping from it and thought it might be the air conditioner moisture dripping down or the boy has a secret stash of liquid explosives up there dripping because of a leak! I liked the second idea and started looking around for a bomb. Bored, I walked outside after a little walking around looking in potted plants and stuff.

There was a large parking lot out here. I walked onto a grassy median and saw a penny on the ground and being a penny collector I bent to pick it up when I saw 2 more, then 2 more. They were covered in dirt and I could feel the grains of dirt between the pennies and thought I could clean them later. There were some teens boy and girl talking and flirting by their car who were caught off guard by me. I hoped I didn’t look like a dork picking up pennies off the ground.

Dreamy Feelings
Napping

I closed my eyes to rest a bit but did not want to become fooled by the deception of dreaming. Each time I would start to dream I'd catch it and come back to just being in darkness. I came to see that I really liked the feeling of letting go and letting my dreaming entertain me. This became the feeling I was fighting. It would be like being in a really good movie and trying to avoid it dragging you in. After about ten minutes of this I woke up surprisingly refreshed.

I am feeling there is a big entertainment quality to our dreams, that we need to some extent, this may be what is so refreshing about sleeping. It felt like my consciousness was a heavy load that I could put down and rest from. This feeling is in opposition to the euphoria of LDing. Its like saying you can't enjoy the play if you're its director. Still I will find a way to reliably become the regular director on a regular basis. It may just take denial of the seductive pleasures of letting go and letting the dreamy feeling entertain you.

a

2/17/2011
There is some kind of indoor fair and people are setting up tables. I have no idea how I got here or where here is but IO figure to go along with stuff and set up a table too. When I go to help set up another table I feel chilly and realize I am wearing a thong bathing suit!

I look down at it and try to act like I am not looking. Then I am like "well I am going to act like I want to so I don't seem like a fool. And maybe the ladies will like it."
I walk around and there are other rooms just like this one with fold out tables with nothing on them. Then I am outside in a fake looking park, it looks like a computer generated picture of a park. There is a tree which I think is nice and then a female lion jumps out of it but she is nice but I still jump up on a table just in case. I walk around some more.
I wake up
but do not move and I am fast asleep back inside the table place. I think about this place and what is here since this place is pretty boring. Then the female lion is back and I jump up on the table. She is aggressive to me and I think “what could defeat this lion? A bear.” Then my hands are huge bear paws and I knock her half lunge away with a swat. They look too strange to me having bear paws attached to human arms. Then I am becoming a whole bear, like a huge black grizzly. The lion lunges again and I hit her, and though it only feels like a slight slap, it sends the lion flying to the ground hard, she looks up hissing at me, beaten.

a
This is part of my effort to electronically record some of my older and more memorable dreams. I put these into a document then cut&past to DV. This one is as of yet undated but I am thinking 1999.

I am in a dark meeting room where everything is old wood like some old British library but this is a small room with a long table that can fit about 10 people. I am alone in the room and and walk around to explore a bit. There is a nice old grandfather clock in a nice wooden cabinet that catches my attention.
Then to my right, while still admiring the old clock, comes a person and to my astonishment it is me! He is followed by 9 other me's! They come from the right and the left! I feel there is an overriding part of me in this controlling some stuff here for me. I go to a seat at the table as we all do. I sit down in a seat I know that I should be sitting in and look at all these other me's. They all look the same but I can tell they are all very different and all of them have a different self view. They are all me yet all different me's! They have all come from their different lives and are all here to discuss somethings. I really want to hear what is going to be discussed! There is a head me who sits at the right far end and just takes charge. I am impressed by his take charge manner as I was in no way like that then. We all know he is the leader here. I marvel at how I am sitting at a table where everyone looks like me! He wastes no time and starts to talk and though I can tell this is his intro I can only hear "rrarr rarr arr arra arra." I am furious that this is somehow being blocked from me. I try to keep the dream alive but feel like I am being pushed out of it. I am pushed into darkness and wake up.

a
2/16/2011

Nonlucid

There is a black van speeding then abruptly stopping in front of a store in a mini mall. The store looks out-of-business with no signs in the windows. Out of the van jump a few members of a swat team and the local Mayor [no mayor I have ever seen]. The portly Mayor runs with the team into the store and leave the driver out in the van. Once inside the police go into a smaller room like an office room and the door closes behind them but the Mayor is out in the larger part of the store turned warehouse. There are washers and driers inside like its all in storage. The Mayor now by himself starts pacing and wiping his face in fear of it all. There is some kind of hostage situation he is being protected from. The Mayor in a panic starts talking to himself but without making any noise while the police are in the room listening to their radios.
Outside in the van the driver fears one of the bad guys may be scoping him out and calls for backup over the radio.
The biggest cop (nearly 7 feet tall) comes out catching the Mayor silently talking to himself an gives the Mayor a big pat on the shoulder as if to say "It'll be OK, don't worry so much." then he goes outside.

This whole dream was very random and very vivid. I attribute the vividness to the peanut better I am eating. I've heard this works from one of DVs threads and it sure is for me.

a
Feb 13, 2011
Nonlucid
Dream1: Egyptian Honey

Some other dream stuff happened but I was in a parking lot next to a large field. There were random people around doing stuff. A girl in a white shirt and white sorts runs to get a tennis ball that has gone over the short fence. She runs to the fence and bends over it. This is a little sexy so I watch to see how this develops. She bends way over now obviously teasing someone, I am pretty far away. Then I see that I can see somewhat through her shorts, just a blackish area under her shorts where white underwear should be. I wonder if I should be watching so obviously but I did’t care.

Then she runs to some friends and I sit with them too. There is an older woman about 30 with about 4 tweens sitting around like she is talking about something. She is talking about Egyptian honey and is showing everyone the jar of it. I realize she has no shorts on and her privates are showing! Again I wonder if I should stare but this time the girl across the way sees me and gives me a glare so I listen to this story. The lady says about the honey it is “so dry one taste and you’ll have to drink water nonstop!” In reference to how drying this honey is I said, “They used this to dry out mummies.” They all looked at me like “who said you could contribute stupid comments?” Feeling this I doubted my comments and said, “oh I think they used salt.” They all looked at me like that was just as unlikely and were going to ignore me now.

Upon awakening I realized I was right though. The Egyptian did use honey in some of their embalming but primarily used salt.


Dream 2: Star Trek

Nonlucid I had enough lucidity to realize this was a dream but not enough to control anything.

I find myself I a room with a group of people that see themselves as all dear friends and there was just some kind of toast to this friendship and the journey. I then decided this was all nice but I should leave. I walked out to the big wooden double doors. As I started to push a door open another guy in a strange Star Trek like clothing was also doing the same and said, “Excuse me” with a big friendly smile. He reminded me of Riker from Star Trek but it wasn’t him. I thought maybe they were all there after a long space mission and this was their welcome back celebration. I thought of how great it would be to have memories of such a great thing. Once I wished to have these memories pictures and emotions of me with various people on a Star Trek type bridge and in hallways. It was all very intense and shocking, I staggered as if sick or hit with a gunshot. The emotions were happy, friendly, and had a touch of reminiscence to them. I was overcome by these emotions and started to cry profusely, it was the sheer power and number of emotions. Crying my eyes out I had to sit down and sat at one of the finely decorated tables. Some guy in a tux or something came over to see if I was OK I said “sure I’ll be OK.” Then I took a moment to think about what just happened and if I wanted to “remember” any more.
I drifted off into a grayish darkness and shortly woke up.

a
Feb 8 2011
I was in a Lowes like store shopping mindlessly. It was a sad day as it was increasingly nearing the end of the world as we knew it. An old lady coughed a few times, she was sick like all the rest of us, we will all die from this disease one day. Then I had to cough too. I coughed twice, I felt something in my throat coming up into my mouth, and it was a wad of shredded paper, the classic symptom of this fatal disease. Then I coughed up a second wad of shredded paper and it felt good to get that paper out of my mouth as it was dry paper and scrapped my teeth and roof of my mouth with a dry papery feeling.

I am thinking this is an allegory told by my subconscious. I think it is saying this is the end of the world and times of the paper-world and it is. This is the computer age and the times where we where just about choking on paper is coming to a slow but inevitable end.

a
Wednesday Feb 9 2011
I find myself in a stage like place with red stage curtains. I looked around and notice the feelings of the place, it’s a strip club and everyone is getting the place ready for the coming night's business. They quickly leave at the end of the night, sleep, and clean up later in the day when it starts all over again. I knew I didn't work there and was partially lucid and just decided to try to fit in so I started looking for things to do. I saw a lot of sweeping, washing tables, and even one of the girls holding a plastic box where she kept her dollar bills, a few dollars and her pocket change was in there at this early hour. The place had only one traditional stage, not the polls and stages.
I remember enjoying the very different psychic energies of some of the people in this place and just standing there soaking it in and thinking “I’m not usually around people like this, this is good stuff.” Their energy felt rough and edgy and iconoclastic. I tooled around some more, not really doing anything, surreptitiously soaking up the extra energy in the room like psychic sponge. No one noticed anything strange in me and when I felt I had enough (enough being their energy was starting to make me become like them a little) I decided to get out of there.

a
I have plenty of unimportant dreams then...

I wake up an hour before I need to and have some resolve to change dreams up a bit.
I am visiting a former work place to tell them about how great my new career path is. Before I see anyone I see Scott my old manager and work buddy. He looks at me harshly and I see that he has died his head and face hair blond! He looks so strange now! He glares at me while working his crummy job and I walk off to think about why this is not how I planned it. I was supposed to come back and tell them how great my life was and they were supposed to gush with happiness! Now I saw this blond Scott again and he gave me a very angry look as if to tell me I was not wanted here.
This seems like a warning dream. Strangely I did think going back I would be greeted by gushing happiness but now after this dream I can see no way! That job sucked on an epic level, so much you tend to hate life and even happiness. There is no way that they would be truly happy to see me. I have worked there and been the one working in hell and watching others comer back and prance around in happiness and I felt like strangling them. How could I have been so consciously blind? Thanks dreams for putting me on the straight path. BTW the job from hell was WalMart.

a
Previous to this where various other unimportant dreams.

Nonlucid
I was seated at a table, a man was on the other side and I the other. I was being asked by him selling some kind of insurance what kinds I wanted. This scenario reminded me of something just like it [I did have this same "kind of" dream the other night but the guy was hiring me for something]. Then he said, "well with this you could have double indemnity and life insurance too." I thought that life insurance isn't health insurance and who is this guy anyways. This realization caused me to pull out of the dream and woke me up. I didn't move at all and pictured the same thing happening but this time I was going to find out what was behind the veil that covers us from the knowledge of dreaming.
Soon I was back at the table and he was still rattling off insurance terms and questions. When he took a breath I asked him "where were you before you came here?" He looked like he was thinking but couldn't remember and he was a bit disturb by this. "How did you get here?" He turned his head thinking on this new puzzle yet still not knowing. "Where did you park your car?" He sat back in the chair a little worried and dumbfounded that he couldn't remember such simple questions.
These are the sorts of RC questions that I should have been asking myself to see if I was in a dream.

a
Yesterday I was having a dream about some guy interviewing me for a job I didn't want and was not qualified for.
Anyway...
I slipped into a passive observer mode (POM). I have never been able to do anything to mess with a dream in POM. Soon some guy crawled on his hands and knees over to another guy looking at his crotch. I was NOT going to watch this! It is time to end this dream but I was in the POM. Then I started to debate whether I should be aware that this is a dream! This lasted for a few seconds then I thought about the paradox about asking myself in a dream, if I should be aware if this WAS a dream! I woke up thinking WTH was that???

Now I am fully convinced the pressure and trickery to not be aware is in our minds, or at least mine, and thats where the work needs to be done. It's not biological or "natural", it seems like it is some kind of learned dream psychosis. The only other place in our lives where this kind of self imposed amnesia or self deception is used is when there is something too traumatic for us to consciously confront. Even this trama would have to be healed and the "sufferer" ultimately has to confront what they are hiding. Well at least I know who the man behind the curtain is now, it me.

aaaNega Caden aaVs. aaCaden aaaaSolo Round!!!

a
Date: January 31, 2011

Only one dream as I didn’t go to bed soon enough.
Nonlucid

I am in the living room of my childhood home [again! My childhood home!] and I look out the front living room window. [I have many dreams logged on paper about seeing big and even futuristic things out of the front windows or door of this house.] I see a cloudy bluish sky at dusk [the homes that would really be there are gone.] Then I see lights flying through the sky behind the clouds in the upper sky. [Again many UFO dreams from this place as well.] The lights move fast and shoot up over the sky in an arch, I take this to mean they are nuclear rockets. I am sure there will be a huge nuclear blast nearby soon and run with my dog under the closest thing I can get under which is a blanket. I think about how long it will take and how freighting it will be before we die.

Then there was a dark interlude that lead to a picture story with an understanding on what the story is. It was a story of how the universe was trying out different leaders and that it had found one that would not start a nuclear war because he was “the only one that would not consider using them”, and thus he was the leader in this working version of the world [there were 3 before him]. The other versions did not work because of the global annihilation.

a
Dream 1 : Needy Old Lady
Not waking lucid but dream lucid, I could remember past dreaming experiences and fully knew it was a dream.

I was on the road behind my childhood home just walking along. I was not lucid but I knew this was a dream. I say some other people ever now and again. Towards the end of the road there was a young guy who looked something like a young Bob Saget, tall, lanky, very skinny, black hair combed over, he was flanked by an old woman who seemed to be annoying to him. She kept talking at him as if she wanted him to say something or understand her motives. I walked besides them. Then she saw a sitting area on the corner of the block where about 20 people were sitting in a circle waiting for something. I had seen this here before in the dream world, it was like an outdoor deck but this was round, on the corner of the homes property near the street and had seating benches in that circle for 2 levels of seats, with a railing around its perimeter. Strange but not too much, still I am not sure exactly the meaning of it or what it is supposed to do. People always sit in it like they are expecting something to happen. The annoying old lady saw it and abruptly broke away from her “victim” almost bumping into me. I stopped short and she turned to me and said “excuse me.”
I saw her sit down up there and exhale like she was finally resting after much stress. “I am finished with life!” she said leaving me to believe that she was between lives instead of being a dreamer. “Freeing isn’t it?” I said, “Yes” she replied with a smile. I walked on up the bigger road to see what else was around. After a few seconds I felt her presence behind me, and to my left, and when I looked she was in the appearance of a Halloween rubber skeleton! I’ve seen stranger appearances but I had to roll my eyes at this one, this was a little weird. The old lady was blathering on about some inane trivial nonsense obviously trying to have my attention. I didn’t give it to her and just kept walking and looking ahead.
She started to feel my legs like they were unnatural to her and my back and stomach a bit (These were all her height as a little skeleton woman). “Oh you’re so real!” she said as if expecting something unreal. “I am real” I said with conviction.
Then the way she was talking changed a bit and when I looked back she was now a little pig woman, with the body of a pig but the face of a woman but with the snub nose. This had to be something she had perfected in her own time, it takes a bit of thinking and manipulations of feelings to get something like this to work. She was saying something about needing help so I picked her up. She sat up in my hand saying something, then I thought that her butt in on my palm, and though this is a dream, it is still disgusting. I shifted her to both hands in front of me so I could toss her out in front of me giving her a bit of a head start. I got a feel of her though and she didn’t feel like a pig instead she had an icky type of old-lady-skin where it is very thin and slips a lot right under the skin, almost how chicken skins slide around on the wet meat after being cooked. This creeped me out so I put her down almost tripping over her. The scenery turned into a home like setting, a long home where we could walk around it like one of those homes that are museums. She was still chattering away as we walked by people to each side of us who looked to be dressed in clothes from the 1700’s. She started to ask why I wasn’t attracted to her. Exasperated I said “I can’t have a relationship with a pig.” She protested a bit with some squealing.
Then she changed into a cow-lady! Now she had a fake cow body like if you were wearing a cow costume, but only knee high to me, and her face was her full woman face with white cow coloring. So she was a tiny fake cow woman. I turned and looked at her and said “Udderly ridiculous” Then I motioned like “get it?”, she was not amused, I walked on. Then she talked about some things she had done to help people as if I would like her for these things she’s done, but by now I was beyond pretenses and was on to have as much fun out of this as I could, so in mock adoration I said, “That’s moo-tastic.” She just stood there exasperated as I walked off and hoped she would not follow. I watched a woman ironing with a hot flat iron in her 1700’s era kitchen as I walked away.

Dream 2: Airport
Still dream-lucid

I was in an airport parking lot and while looking for something interesting to see came to a 18 wheeler being loaded by 3 young adults. I gave it a look and walked in. They paid me no attention. I came to the back of the truck where boxes were piled high, bored and a bit angry at this place, I laid down on the trucks floor. If they thought I worked there maybe someone would get angry and give the place some life! A young woman who held herself like she was in some kind of charge of this work asked the guy in there looking at his clipboard about me “Is this guy working?” “Yea he’s working” the guy said surprising me a bit but I decided to play along for a bit. I got up and followed her to the pile of boxes in the middle of the trucks trailer that had to be sorted “They have to have the info down” she said refereeing to the mailing address info on the boxes. She turned to go back into the truck more and tell me something but I realized this was my chance to freak her out, I could wake up, pulling myself out of the dream area with no apparent way to have left. I willed my real eyes open and could still see her portly self in her red hoody as an after image.