The Labrynth of the Mind

I'm a little pressed for time today, so I will just make some quick notes and hopefully edit with more details later.

Sideswiped

Driving around a construction zone. An area where there's only one lane, no flagger. I enter and a RV enters at the same time. The RV scrapes against my new truck and keeps on going. I get out and try to find the guy. I think about suing the Department of Transportation.

Around Town

With my Grandfather at a country music concert. He stays only for 3 songs, then leaves. He is annoyed because it is at a university that is in the middle of a town (it didn't make sense to me in my dream, either). I argue a little bit about the immorality of having a university in the middle of a town, but he leaves anyway.

My Grandmother shows up in her car, so I don't have to walk home. We stop at intersection, girl has broken down.

A brass band is playing, and a new building is being built. I lobby to save the old building from destruction. They aren't going to destroy it anyway.

There are some pirates in a torture chamber held captive by a rival pirate captain. The rival captain is trying to force them to accept him as their new leader. There are lots of people watching from stands. It is like a stadium of some kind. Now it isn't a torture chamber anymore, but a dance floor. We are watching a documentary about how the Japanese are saving energy by a new form of dancing. One person from each couple sits in a chair and only one person stands up and dances. They still hold hands, though.

Big House

I visit somebody's house. It looks small from the outside, but it huge on the inside. One room looks like a cafe` of some kind. Or a hotel lobby. I go in and order food. The people with me are impatient because I'm taking too long. Someone is overcharged. I order a jalepeno and pickle sandwich. And french fries (I seem to be having recurring dreams about french fries).

Before bed I took 400mg valerian, 50mg vitamin B-6 and 0.5mg melatonin. I woke up at 3:30 am and did a WBTB. I also performed a MILD before sleeping. In addition, I attempted to incubate a dream about Myst Uru.

Uru Marker Quest

I am in D'ni, doing a marker quest (this takes a while to explain if you don't know what I'm talking about. You can google these things if you're curious). I am in a big room "upstairs" (a vauge dreaming impression, I don't know what building I may have been in). I follow the markers "downstairs" into a large dark blue grey room. It is a little reminiscent of somewhere in Kadesh Tolesa. The marker quest is describing a murder mystery (taken from waking memory. I was on such a marker quest before going to bed, and it was a location I was at during this quest that I was trying to incubate). The markers tell me about a group of people who "explore the walls". They seem to be suspicious, and I look around the walls of the room. I also call someone on the telephone. One guy in particular does not have a telephone. For some reason this makes him even more suspicious.

The County Fair

In this dream, I am back at my old job with the Army Corps. I am working at the public relations booth at a local county fair.

My former boss is supposed to call me (taken from waking life. I had to call my present boss this morning because he was supposed to call me and didn't). I am at home, but I know he is talking to someone about my phone number. He can't remember my number, and therefore can't call me. I somehow walk into his office as he is saying this.

"You need my number?" I ask, surprising him. We exchange greetings, since we haven't seen each other in a while. Then he sends me out to the county fair.

It is cold and rainy, and many vendors have pulled out of the fair. I myself am a little disgusted with the fair for some reason. I am hungry and decide to get something to eat. I stop at a booth selling hot dogs. I order a hot dog since it is only 75 cents. Then I decide to order french fries too, even though I wasn't going to at first. I fall into conversation with the vendor while he prepares my food, who is also disgusted with the fair.

"This fair ain't like it used to be" he says, squirting ketchup and mustard into a plate and then dumping fries in. "Look at all the people who have pulled out".

"I know," I say, "I think this is going to be our last year here." In fact, I know it is, because I am the one who schedules the fairs. He hands me my food. The fries have onions and peppers mixed in with them. It looks pretty tasty.

I walk for a while, and come to some railroad tracks. There are some people walking on the tracks. What they do is wait for the warning lights to flash on the track signalling a train is coming. Then they jump on the tracks and walk, as though that is the safe time to walk. I try to warn them not to do this (though I seem to be walking on the tracks with them). I describe to them how "two of my relatives - or ancestors, I guess" were killed doing this.

The above dreams were recorded at 3:30AM during the WBTB. The following dreams I recorded this morning.

Western Christmas Carol

I am with some bad guy, in a sheriff's office of the Wild West. The bad guy has a rather distinctive face, looking like a typical bad guy. While we are waiting for the sheriff, another guy walks in and leans on a counter in front of us. Those of us waiting in the office are startled to see how much this new guy looks like the villain. They could be twins, except this new person is much younger. Then a second person walks in and leans on the counter next to the first person. He too looks exactly like the villain, but he has a big bushy beard. Those of us waiting (the villain, myself, some other person, and Peter Lorre - I don't know how he fit in) talk about the coincidence. Then the villain starts reliving past memories.

The past memories are brought on by the fact that the first look-alike reminded him of his own youth. It is like the Ghost of Christmas Past for him, and he begins to soften up by remembering how he used to be. Then, when he sees the second look-alike, he thinks of the present, and how things could have been different. This then, is the Ghost of Christmas Present.

Then the sheriff walks in. If we were surprised before, imagine our shock at seeing the sheriff - an exact double of our villain, except for the badge and hat. This is the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, with the ominous foreshadowing of a hanging.

Sad Dream

This dream may have been part of the Western Christmas Carol dream, as it started out in a similar scene. It deals with some issues from the waking life that are sad and personal to some close friends, so I won't go into much detail in the first part. It cheers up a bit by the end, though.

A man, falsely accused of a crime or imprisoned for a petty crime, has a heart attack while in prison. They could have let him out to go to the doctor, but they didn't. He dies. This makes the following events even more tragic and frustrating for the family. Some other things happen (taken from waking memories) that add to the family's grief. There are some scenes of sadness.

Somehow the scenes above lead into a story of three guys who go to Russia. They send a letter to the United States' government threatening to do something extreme. This causes the government to go into a tizzy, and then reports come that the three guys have taken over Russia. What actually happened is that they claimed Russia and nobody bothered to argue with them. It was so silly that it wasn't worth Russia's effort. However, the newspapers pick up the story and blow it out of proportion. Some of us get a big laugh out of that. "Then violence spreads" as it was said in my dream. I am sort of writing this as a story and living it at the same time. Everything disintegrates into a big fight and mass destruction. I buy candy.

The Minivan in the Kitchen (Lucid)

I am walking down the hallwau in my house towards the kitchen. I enter the kitchen, and on the left where the table is supposed to be is a large minivan. This isn't right, and I realize that I am dreamin. This realization seems to cause me to jump, and I wake up...

...But it's a false awakening. I find myself walking down the same hallway, and enter the kitchen again. I look to my left, and there is the minivan sitting there. This reminds me that I'm dreaming. Once again I jerk when I realize that, and either wake up, have a FA, or something. I can't remember anything else.

My Baby

I have a baby. My wife (I have no idea who this is, since I am not married in real life) is away somewhere, and left me instructions on how to care for the baby. This baby is kept in a drawer in the wall, and I open it up now and then to do various things with the infant. I open the drawer at one point to feed the baby. I begin to feed him mashed potatoes or something similar, which is a little difficult because I can't find a spoon but only a fork...

...I go somewhere. This requires going into a cave, up a long set of stone steps, and through a tunnel. On the other side of this tunnel is a wide open space. Here I come across Frankenstein's monster...

...A little later I am leading an expedition up the same path. As we near the top of the tunnel I proceed cautiously because I know the Monster could be lurking about. Sure enough, as we round a bend I catch sight of him. I think he sees me too, because our group begins running back down the tunnel. I know there is one part where there is a narrow doorway that if we can just make it through the Monster will be unable to follow. Of course, it is difficult to run, as it always is in these dreams. Fortunately, the Monster doesn't seem to be that interested in chasing us anyway and we never see him again.

Now I'm on my own, and I continue to walk through the tunnel. I come into a library. There are people going through files and books. They (and now myself as well) are writing a research paper.

But then, I remember about the baby! I was in the middle of feeding him, and he hasn't eaten anything else for a day or two now. I rush back home, wondering how long a baby can go without eating. With relief, I find the baby happily sitting in his high chair/drawer looking at the bowl of food in front of him. I begin to feed him again, wondering if and how should change his diaper before my wife gets home.

It's too late. My wife is already home! She came back while I was gone, and I just didn't see her. I wonder if I am in trouble.

Working with Dirty Clothes

I show up for work at my former workplace. I stand in front of my boss, waiting for direction. He and a coworker are arguing, and I figure out what my job is. Fortunately, it involves traveling about an hour from the office. I hope in the company vehicle, and head down. Then I realize I am not wearing my work uniform. I have it with me, but I can't change while driving. I look for a place to pull over so I can change.

I drive up a road into the woods, and find a place to get out. There are some ruins of houses on the hillside, and people are digging around as though they were archaeologists. I duck behind a box truck and change clothes. Then I see a few people I know, and go up to see them. They are digging around the foundation of what I find out is my great-great grandmother's house. Some old prospector is looking for shale (presumably for oil), but we are just looking for artifacts. We dig up some picture viewing device that is referred to as a "melodian".

Now I am in my uniform, but my clothes are dirty. Oh well, my workplace doesn't care as long as I'm in uniform.

My Baby

I have a baby. My wife (I have no idea who this is, since I am not married in real life) is away somewhere, and left me instructions on how to care for the baby. This baby is kept in a drawer in the wall, and I open it up now and then to do various things with the infant. I open the drawer at one point to feed the baby. I begin to feed him mashed potatoes or something similar, which is a little difficult because I can't find a spoon but only a fork...

...I go somewhere. This requires going into a cave, up a long set of stone steps, and through a tunnel. On the other side of this tunnel is a wide open space. Here I come across Frankenstein's monster...

...A little later I am leading an expedition up the same path. As we near the top of the tunnel I proceed cautiously because I know the Monster could be lurking about. Sure enough, as we round a bend I catch sight of him. I think he sees me too, because our group begins running back down the tunnel. I know there is one part where there is a narrow doorway that if we can just make it through the Monster will be unable to follow. Of course, it is difficult to run, as it always is in these dreams. Fortunately, the Monster doesn't seem to be that interested in chasing us anyway and we never see him again.

Now I'm on my own, and I continue to walk through the tunnel. I come into a library. There are people going through files and books. They (and now myself as well) are writing a research paper.

But then, I remember about the baby! I was in the middle of feeding him, and he hasn't eaten anything else for a day or two now. I rush back home, wondering how long a baby can go without eating. With relief, I find the baby happily sitting in his high chair/drawer looking at the bowl of food in front of him. I begin to feed him again, wondering if and how should change his diaper before my wife gets home.

It's too late. My wife is already home! She came back while I was gone, and I just didn't see her. I wonder if I am in trouble.

Working with Dirty Clothes

I show up for work at my former workplace. I stand in front of my boss, waiting for direction. He and a coworker are arguing, and I figure out what my job is. Fortunately, it involves traveling about an hour from the office. I hope in the company vehicle, and head down. Then I realize I am not wearing my work uniform. I have it with me, but I can't change while driving. I look for a place to pull over so I can change.

I drive up a road into the woods, and find a place to get out. There are some ruins of houses on the hillside, and people are digging around as though they were archaeologists. I duck behind a box truck and change clothes. Then I see a few people I know, and go up to see them. They are digging around the foundation of what I find out is my great-great grandmother's house. Some old prospector is looking for shale (presumably for oil), but we are just looking for artifacts. We dig up some picture viewing device that is referred to as a "melodian".

Now I am in my uniform, but my clothes are dirty. Oh well, my workplace doesn't care as long as I'm in uniform.

I am sitting in the parking lot somewhere, finishing a cigartette (I don't smoke in real life). I then get a pack to take with me. I think about how I never smoked before, but decided to try to see if I could get hooked. I think I am not really addicte, but then realize that I have an uncontrollable craving as soon as I put down the cigarette. Fortunately, I have a pack of Nicorette gum. I decide to wait and see if I can go cold turkey.

Sci-Fi Groceries

I am working at the grocery store, stocking shelves (in real life I stock shelves at a toy store). Some old women come along looking for artichokes. I help them find one artichoke, which has been put in the wrong spot.

I continue walking down the aisle, and make it to the bridge of the Enterprise. I am needed to help destroy a small planet that is headed towards the Earth. Nobody is sure what to do, but I come up with the idea of building a huge bomb. We run a computer simulation of what this bomb will do. Upon detonation, a gigantic shock wave is sent out. This shock wave passes over the Earth, the moon and the sun, but when it hits this small planet the planet is annhilated.

The great thing about this idea is that it doesn't affect the Earth. I accidentally touch the simulated Earth and it gets smashed up, but after a moment of shock everyone realizes it was just me.

Kidnapping and Chemistry

I am a spy or something similar. I am investigating a guy who has been kidnapped and tied up in a back room somewhere. His daughter has also been kidnapped, and they are trying to get information out of the father. The guy is wrapped up in some bandages, so that only one of his eyes can be seen. The captors torment him by allowing him to see his daughter being taken into the room across from him, but they never let him know what is going on.

While I am there, the captors bring the daughter out into the main room separating the two rooms. She doesn't seem to be too bad off. In fact, she is joking and laughing with the men. Apparently, she doesn't even know they are bad guys. Then they bring the father out. I think they are going to try one last desperate attempt to get information out of him.

I step in at this point, and we find ourselves pursued by the villains. We duck behind some barrier to hide. The kidnappers are hot on our heels, so I pull out a grenade and throw it at them...

...(I think this is part of the same dream. It seems to have digressed into the manufacture of explosives.) I walk into the laboratory for one of my chemistry classes. We are choosing seats. I sit next to an attractive girl I know in real life. I feel I have an excuse, because my name is written on the counter in front of me, as well as on the seat I am sitting in. We chat a little, and I think about asking her out. Then the professor begins class.

We are learning about some kind of explosive. This requires a lot of complicated glassware, including a couple of volumetric flasks and some kind of a condenser. There are only two reactants involved in this process. One is tetramethylfuran (?), and I don't know what the other one was. At this point, my lab partner (the attractive girl) leaves. The instructor tells is we have to work on our own anyway, but the experiment doesn't seem to make any sense.

Now we are outside, taking turns mixing chemicals in our glassware on the tailgate of a pickup truck. The truck is parked on the slope of a hill, so it is hard to mix anything without it spilling.

Robot Cannibal

We are looking at fingerprints. They do not seem to be useable, because we can't get anything from them when we try dusting them. No recognizable features, anyway. Then someone points out that they are made in blood, as though someone dipped their fingers in blood before touching the counter we are looking at. With this knowledge, we are able to use some chemical to analyze the fingerprints...

...(I think this is part of the same dream) My dog runs away. I go out to get her, and find she is running along an interstate. She runs into a median strip, and I go after her. She climbs up a hill and down the other side. I crawl up the hill, and peak over the edge. There is a gruesome sight on the other side. A deer or large dog has been killed and mutilated, and some man is crawling nearby. He crawls up to the carcass and sinks his teeth in. I watch in horror, realizing this is the guy from Silence of the Lambs (I never actually saw the movie). Looking closer, I see it is no longer a person but a robot. The Silence of the Lambs guy is in his home, controlling this robot.

Driving to Class

It is 2:00pm (I know the time because I have to leave home to make a long commute to college to take a class). A few things happen to delay me about 15 minutes, and I can finally leave. My father comes along, and decides that he is coming with me. We hop in my car and start the commute. A little way down the road I point out to him that my class goes until about 9:30 or 10:00 at night. He was going with me to do one little thing down the road from the school. I don't think he really wants to wait around for 6 hours or so until I am done with class. He realizes this isn't a good idea, so we decide to turn off the main road and go to a town called "Augusta", or something similar. Whatever the name is, it isn't there in real life though I think it represents a town that is.

The plan is that my mother and brother will meet us in Augusta and pick up my father. It seems that much of the dream from here on consists of driving around in circles and gets a little monotonous and frustrating.

The Detectives

I am a little unclear as to the details of this dream. It just came back to my mind after journalling the last one. I am a detective. Also, I am with my family and we are trying to pick out a movie to watch tonight. There are four of them, two new movies and two classic movies. I can't tell the ratings on the new movies, but I don't know if they contain any objectionable material or not.

Now I'm eating french fries. There is a lot of ketchup on the french fries. Way too much ketchup. However, an attractive lady is also eating the french fries. Then I realize I have been looking for her, because she is the one I have to arrest. But I'm also hungry (this dream took place in the early morning). The dream seems to be half about eating and half about arresting this woman. She is sad about being arrested and I feel a little bad about it.

Skydiving (fragment)

I don't remember much of this dream. It may have been the result of an incubation attempt. All I remember is skydiving.

I am in class. My professor is the same guy who was my Invertebrate Biology teacher in real life. He is showing us some type of video on TV, but there seems to be a problem with it. There is some kind of a picture, like a menu with options in rectangular boxes, but it can hardly be seen amidst the static on the screen...

...Now we are having some meeting down the hall. Our class, or group, or whatever it is, is raising money for some project. They are debating what to spend their money on. The general idea is to spend it on new buildings. I think this is a poor choice, because the college doesn't need the money for new buildings. I think instead they should put it towards scholarships for students who are in financial need. However, everytime I try to bring the idea up, I am interrupted and people talk over me. I get frustrated and start shouting over everyone else with my idea. One of the students looks at me reproachfully, and I feel a little foolish for losing my temper.

Last night I took 150mg of Ginkgo Biloba, followed by a brief period of exercise (50 pushups). In the past, this has greatly increased the amount of dreams that I either experience, recall, or both. I also attempted to incubate a dream in which I would be in the computer game Myst Uru.

Myst Party

I am at the church that I went to when I was little. My parents are with me, as are a couple of other people. My mother is eating a cookie, or a cupcake, or something like that. She tells me she got it downstairs. I ask someone else about it, and this other lady tells me that she got it "in the room beneath the rooms" or something cryptic like that. I know that by that she means that the cookie came from a room down in the basement near the boiler room, in an interesting set of stairwells and hallways that always fascinated me when I was little.

We sit down in a pew, either towards the back of the sanctuary or up in the balcony. I look over to the end of the pew and see a big sign that has been hand written. It is advertizing a "Myst" party, as in the computer game. According to the sign I am either too late for the party or will not be able to make it.

At the Mall

I get a new job, working as a security gaurd at the mall. I am at home with my family, and we decide to go shopping. When we get to the grocery store we were originally going to go to, it turns out to be the mall. I decide that since I am a security gaurd, I can walk along with them and shop, and still be able to do my job at the same time.

We split up. The rest of my family goes one direction, and I go another direction with a girl that I knew in college. We go into a couple of shops and look around, and somehow I loose my socks. I go into a gift shop where they are selling a pair of socks for $3. I debate for a while whether to get one pair or another. Then I check to make sure they are all $3. I see a sign on the box of socks that says $3, so I am informed of the price.

I go out of the back of this store, and keep on going. The girl is still in the mall, but I walk on down the street until I come to a grocery store. I go in and walk around, and then get a cup of coffee. Then I think maybe my family and the girl will wonder where I went, so I go back.

Back in the mall I meet up with everybody. They aren't too concerned about where I went.

Blue Blotch

I have some kind of a welt on my forehead, and next to this a big blue blotch. I am worried that this blue blotch may be the sign of some disease, so I look it up online. I know that looking up symptoms online is a bad idea, but I go to WebMD anyway and check it out. When I type in "Blue Blotch", I get a page with a terrible illness. It shows a deformed and barely recognizable person who is being killed by a disease that started with a blue blotch. I decide not to trust WebMD.

The Fair

In my old job, I often went to fairs to talk to people. In this dream, I am back at one of the fairs. It is cold and cloudy, and my mother is with me. We set out looking for a certain barn (I think it had model trains in it, but I'm not sure). We walk out to what appears to be the end of the fairgrounds, but I can see that beyond us is more buildings. My mother does not seem interested in looking anymore, so we go back to wherever we started.

Old Mr. cedward1

I'm an old man in this dream. However, I am a powerful old man. I seem to be very skilled at my job (I think I am a lawyer). I am well known and well respected. Some people probably fear me. However, I am all alone. I never wanted to marry anyone or have a family of my own, and now in my sunset years I begin to regret it. I wonder if it is too late to find a wife, but then I think that even now I might not want to give up my freedom.

For a brief period, the dream is about a queen somewhere who is in the same predicament. Then it is back to me as an old man.

I am eating steak and a baked potato. I pur butter on the potato, along with a bit of white cheddar cheese and steak sauce. I mash the potato up and eat. It tastes pretty good for being dream food...

... The dream changes quite a bit. I am no longer an old man, and am walking through the woods. It is late fall or winter, and all the leaves are off the trees. My job is to see if people have been logging near a creek that runs through the woods. I inspect a while, and then my mother's beagle runs away. She can't get it back, so I call it. The beagle come trotting out from behind a tree.

Another Shopping Dream

I am at my Granparents' house. Everyone goes shopping, which is referred to by an odd name like "simple country" shopping, supposedly because they are going bargain hunting. I decide to stay behind, but as they are leaving I change my mind.

We all go in to town. Some things happen that I can't quite remember.

There is a lot more to this dream, but I was exhausted last night and have poor dream recall this morning

I am working for the Army Corps of Engineers, who I used to work for. We are driving a white government truck, with a magnetic sign on the side that has somebody's name on it. Some of my co-workers go inside and I am left outside with the truck. I am messing around with somebody else (maybe a co-worker, but I don't remember). I take off the magnetic sign. I pretend to be someone who is looking for the Army Corps truck, but is stupid. I hold the magnetic sign to my forehead and say "gee, I wonder who owns this truck". For some reason i think this is very funny.

I hold the magnetic sign down in the bed of the truck. The metal of the truck bed pulls at the sign, and I let go. It goes flying across the bed towards the other guy who is with me. Smacking against the side, part of the sign breaks off.

I seem to forget about it for a time, but then I realize that my co-workers will be coming outside before too long. What is more, there is a funeral going on. This in itself wouldn't be too bad, but the sign has now changed from saying "U.S. Army Corps of Engineers" to displaying the dead person's name. It is some kind of a memorial, and I broke it by messing around!

"That's OK," I think. "The sign isn't too badly damaged, I can just pop the letters back in" (Here the sign seems to have taken on a different form than in real life. In actuality it was just a magnetic strip, like any magnetic truck sign). "Even if I don't get it fixed in time, I'll just explain that it wasn't really my fault". I know it was my fault, since I was messing around and shouldn't have been.

I look around in the bed of the truck for the letters "F" and "O". The more I look, the harder it becomes. Originally, the truck bed was empty. Now it is becoming filled with junk. Not only that, but the missing pieces of the sign are becoming more numerous and complex. Now I am looking for gears, screws and wheels, along with the letters. I dig through a toolbox filled with similar parts, knowing most of them do not go with the sign. It's hopeless now, but I go on looking...

I am back at a community college that I went to at one time. I have a lot of happy memories here, and often dream of it. I am walking down the hallway to a class I am taking, and realize that I have not explored much of the college since I went back. This is the last night of this semester for me, and I think I should take a walk to the other end of the hall.

While I am still on my way to class (I never do make it to the other end of the hallway) I meet some people I used to know. I had been worrying lately about losing interest in some places like this that are important to me, but while I am talking to them I realize that I am in a wonderful place. Then I have to go to class.

I sit down at my desk, and look out the window. There is a tall brick smokestack just out the window in this dream, and I "remember" looking at it when I used to go to school here. As I look at it the smokestack changes in height and width, and I think even collapses at one point. I just watch passively, and it has no effect on me.

The instructor is wrapping up the class, and we are supposed to clean out our desks before we leave. In our desks are computers, which are small things that plug into some kind of printer device. Everyone else in the class has an easy time plugging these things together and leaving. Mine does not seem to fit together though.

I am walking down a street, and realize it is one that intersects the street that I lived on when I was little. I look down the street to where my old house was. It is dark, and the road looks a little creepy. I think to myself that it is odd I used to live on such a creepy street. However, there are streetlights (there weren't really in real life) that light up patches on the sidewalk. My old house is within the light of one of these, so I think maybe it wasn't that creepy.

I look to my right. There is a big house there (on the corner of the intersection). This house belonged to one of our neighbors, named Bob. I just dreamed about his house the other night, so I am reminded of this dream. I think to myself "why do I dream about this place so much?" Then I think how strange it is that I am here so often. Like this very moment, for example. "Maybe I'm dreaming now," I think. But then I think "nah, I'm not." However, I remember that I've blown it off too many times lately, which is one reason I have not had as many lucid experiences. So, I do a sort of RC by imagining that it is a dream. Once I let myself think that it is a dream I realize "I am dreaming!"

Having not been lucid for a few months, I get a little excited. I think about what to do, and remeber a post on the forum about travelling in dreams. One poster had mentioned closing your eyes and imagining yourself somewhere (I forgot that others had cautioned against this for novice lucid dreamers). I close my eyes and think about a place I like to go on vacations during the summer. I try to imagine the sounds and smells, but as I do so everything blacks out, and I loose lucidity.