Coheed

24.02.2014

Anger and Disappointment (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I wasn't sure wether to post this or not. In fact I wasn't even sure whether to write it down in my personal DreamJournal or not...

(The dream had a bunch of other sequences before this, but I don't remember them)
I went outside, climbed on some building with a ladder to examine something and found my father and some other guy probably the same age as me hanging from that same building. I guess they were climbing around. I know they were hanging there intentionally.
My father said something and I suddenly was filled with rage shouting at him and eventually hit his hands so he fell down.
I left, still having a very aggressive argument with him.

I entered a room that looked like the living room from the apartment I grew up in. A bunch of people were there minding their own business. I was angry and sad and sat down on a couch.
Then my father arrived. He was holding something in his hand, which I knew was something extremely expensive. Appearently he got this for me and planned on giving it to me later as a surprise present.
While he walked towards me and put the thing onto the table next to me he calmly said: "You know, it's been pretty expensive since you live here." And then "Congratulations for being born...".
I felt the disappointment in his voice and started crying. I woke up crying and couldn't stop until several minutes later.

I seldom experienced so much emotions in a dream. Enough to transfer to the waking life...
Yes, I have a rather bad relationship to my father and we had a lot of horrible fights. And yes I'm currently living with my parents and I know I'm kind of a burden. That's probably why it hit me so hard.
What I didn't know at the thime (I actually just found out about it minutes before I wrote this down) my father actually bought something expensive as a surprise present for me I wasn't supposed to know about yet... WTF.
This was probably the most depressing dream I ever had. Fuck, I hate this dream so much.