Oceanboy

Unless Everyone just starts dying, I don't think it'll get worse from here. Ended up having to fight off someone close to me literally, cat got hurt so I had to take her to the vet, from which we are now trying to deal with a 1000+ bill for..... and then after all that... I discovered someone very very dear to me had passed on.

The dreams have been fleeting, specially with staying up to feed n take care of our second kitten.... like the first its made sleeping at night not really doable for someone like me.

After the fight..... that night I had dreams of someone else, my step dad, slamming me into stuff in his bedroom in the dark, like.... a printer, computer desk.... I just remember yelling out to my mom to stop him before I start fighting back. Then that dream went to one of my actual dad, and I was in a vehicle with him arguing.

Only other dream I can recall having right now was one from last night where my bf's mom came in and asked him to fill out some paper work and he just shook his head and said "nope, don't really feel up to". Which just reminds me of how he was telling me how annoying it is when she or her family, or some friends of his always ask him to fill out disability or unemployment forms for them..... not really any kind of significant dream.... but thats pretty much it.

Been doing multiple reality checks a day now, I've a reason to go into the lucid stage now more than ever. Didn't get to say goodbye to him, never thought I'd have to, someone so nice, considerate.... giving. Regret not telling him sooner my feelings, by the time i found out he felt the same it was to late. On one hand due to the butterfly effect things could have been different, at the same time, if i'd been with him and they were the same..... I cannot imagine how I'd not follow him. So I am here, and he may or may not be somewhere I hope I can visit. Dream character or not, anything for one more memory.

Will let you all know how that goes.