cytotoxicT

7/28/11

MILD

I had woken up to write in my DJ and had some trouble falling back asleep. I thought I should say some mantras if I was too awake to try a WILD. I repeat in my head, "I will recognize that I am dreaming." I imagined myself in various dream scenarios questioning reality and doing RCs. Eventually I fall asleep.

The dream started on a plane with my mom and brother. I decide to explore the plane, so I leave my seat and start to walk around. I enter a storage room where I find a bunch of animals in travel cages. At the far end of the elongated room, I can see a small hole that leads out of the side of the plane. Light was shining in through this crack. I see my old dog and a large animal that may have been a sea lion or maybe a large cat (cougar or lion), and they are both not in cages. Then suddenly, the far side of the room dipped. The plane was banking and we slid towards the hole. The plane engaged the flaps so the hole was now large enough to fall through. The big animal started sliding out and looked at me in terror. I slide after it and grabbed onto a paw (or whatever appendage). there are small ledges on the side so I use my feet to stop us from sliding out. I pull it up to safety. The plane kept banking to our side, but we knew it was coming and could stay safe. I also see hundreds of really small king charles cavalier dogs. About 5 could fit in my palm. I think it is a shame that these animals are being shipped somewhere but I leave the storage room.

The plane has landed by the time I return to my seat. My family has already deplaned and I am gathering my things. I hear that Robin is a flight attendant so I do my best to avoid her. I catch of glimpse of her as I leave.

I start hanging with some friends at the airport. They were bored and horny so we all went to the bathroom where they started rubbing their dicks against this scaffolding thing with a rubber tube on it. I thought it was pretty gay so I left. But that did get me in the mood so I go and try to find Robin. We meet up and she wants to have kinky, public sex. She was wearing her flight attendant uniform with a yellow skirt. We decide to find a booth in a restaurant somewhere where she can sit on my lap and go at it. Eventually we find one I insert. The room was relatively empty until my friends decided to show back up. They all sat down at our table and started talking. I am trying to thrust incognito and eventually just start flexing the dick muscle. She called that a "pro move". haha. Ben was with the group and pulled up Robin's skirt (while Im still occupying it). They started laughing and said "look, there are 4 of them...1...2...3...4" as he pointed to 4 places up her skirt. I assumed it was some STD shit so I pulled out and left.

I walk outside pissed off. I don't even know how to get home. I just say this sucks, I bet none of this is even real and do an RC.I get lucid and look to the sky. There is a large red cloud. I stare at it as I take off. It is slow at first but after a second of flying I have a burst in speed. I enter the cloud and try to fly through. I am in the cloud for like 6 seconds and it is just blurry gray around me. I start to lose the dream. I realize I have to dive back down below the cloud in order to stay in the dream. I am now out and flying around. I see a helicopter and jet in the distance and decide to go after them. Suddenly, I hit some tree branches. I grab one, stand on it, and take off again. This time I am able to catch up to the helicopter. It was one of the best flying abilities Ive had in awhile. The chopper is only like 5 ft long. I grab onto the landing bars and hold on. I look up to the underside of the chopper, and I see two little army faces looking at me through a hole. The hole is a little larger than my fist so I punch through. I hit half of each face and they recoil. I go around to the pilots door and suddenly it is toy sized. I reach in and pull out live GI Joe looking guys. I toss them out, and when the chopper is empty, I toss it too.

This was the second dream I had (other is bar fight) where I thought to myself "this sucks, I dont want to do this, maybe its a dream and I wont have to." Both times I became lucid. Possible dream sign.

7/27/11

DILD

In this dream and the next dream I woke up after the LD and decided to write down notes in the DJ. Both times they were FAs and I really woke up within seconds of reaching for the journal. I need to do RCs when Im thinking of writing notes or just try to DEILD.


All I remember is I became lucid in some desert wasteland place. I am feeling pretty horny, and the only thing I could think of was this kindergarten teacher who was hot. I may have seen her in a previous dream but I "remember" her as my real one. So I decide to fly to the school. I boost straight up into the air, and the desert winds suddenly hit and thrust me to the side. They are ridiculously strong. I reorient myself and am now flying with the wind. This is the fastest Ive every flown. I was flying with a tremendous amount of force. Eventually we come over a few towns separated by mountainy regions. I choose my target building over the farthest town and head there. I realize I am flying way to fast to try and land. (I love to freefall to the ground but this was so much faster). I was scared it was going to hurt. I knew I was dreaming but at my speed I couldn't imagine it NOT hurting. I try to slow down, but all I do is rotate my body. So now I am flying at Mach 3 in a sitting up position. I turn shoulder/side first and I close my eyes as I brace for impact. I collide into a wall at full speed and smash it. I am still outside and unscathed. I walk inside and I remember finding the teacher and her classroom. She really wasn't that attractive, just old. A bunch of children start to enter the scene so I just leave.

7/25/11

FA/DEILD

I had around 5 or 6 LDs separated by FAs with DEILD attempts. They were pretty sexual at first and then moved into experimenting with methods of dream control. This was the first time I tried to use the "operator" matrix technique for control and it failed.

The night started with a non-lucid where I was trying to masturbate. I had the ingenious idea to try and have sex with a tissue box because the top was a soft hole. haha. Then it moved to me in a friend's car trying to finish. I had to wait for SC in the drivers seat of the SUV and eventually his dad interrupted me (although it was really BGs dad).

In the next dream I became lucid in Amsterdam. I went into this sex shop where I saw Mattie working there. I go up and start talking and it quickly moves onto frisking. We continue talking during this process and work our way downstairs. I am rubbing my hands together to maintain the dream. It looks the basement of the Bulldog coffee shop with more places to sit. There were large brown automens where people were supposed to have sex on. There scattered people around so we go to the back. We start taking off our clothes and I must have gotten distracted for a second because I look back and she has short curly jew guy hair and is no longer attractive. She said she got a new hair cut and it was a deal breaker for me. So I head back upstairs.

Upstairs I found that the place was also part grocery store. I was walking down the frozen food isle and I found a hot blonde. We start fondling for a bit and then I decide to do something better with my LD.

I walk out front and look for a sweet car to drive in. I see a BMW and got in. The pedals were very close together. For some reason I put 1 foot on each pedal and it was uncomfortable. The pedals were so close my ankles had to touch. I start driving down the streets of Amsterdam (thankfully with no bicyclists on the road). I am going really fast and can swerve between cars. I found out I can push one of the pedals to the side to make it at a normal distance. Eventually I see a yellow race car parked on the side of the road. It looked like a lean formula 1 car and had a huge fin sticking up in the back. The drivers seat was exposed and there was a girl in it. I couldnt resist the upgrade. I walk over and get the girl out of the car. She said it was a bad idea. I get in and the pedals are close again. Then I look forward and there is no steering wheel, just 2 levers. And even worse, the levers are way out of my reach. I am pissed the girl was right and I lose the dream soon after.


I re enter a dream looking at a TV with a bulls highlight on it. I think if I focus long enough eventually I can make it into a dream. It has an inbound play from the corner. Noah takes the ball and hits it off Shaqs head and he runs the baseline (the ball was already inbounded). He finishes and I think it was a sweet move. Suddenly I am down with some team groupies I guess. It has a girl that I start getting hot and heavy with. Eventually I leaver her to do other things.

I try to find a safe somewhere to see what is inside. I was hoping it would be some deep secret like inception. I look for awhile and KK (not roommate) tries to stop me. I start running and putting my finger to my ear. I try to call the operator and ask for some abilities. I can only faintly hear my mom's voice talking about me being still asleep. I figure that I hear her speaking next to my sleeping body (despite me not living at my parents house). I lose the dream on the run.


I become lucid outside of some nice looking campus building. It is large and there are tall trees outside. I am with my mom and tell her that we are dreaming. She says something like, "so i can fly?" I was like sure and tried to show her. I end up only jumping like 5 ft. I retry and then just try to float. I tell her to pretend to be a piece of paper in the wind. I can feel the breeze pick me and gently toss me around. I have no control and am rolling over but still floating.

I think a different dream starts and I am running around my old house trying to find a token that I can say is magic and give me powers. I decide to ground myself by licking the fridge and it tasked....like a fridge. I open it and taste some pink lemonade. It tasted fruity but not the right kind of fruit. I never find the token and make my way to the living room. I decide to call for my dream guide so he can maybe help get some powers. I see an aura of light by the TV. I say, "my dreamguide!" and as something starts to appear there I hear my mom yell at me. She was standing right behind me with my brother who was sitting on the couch. It was so loud my stomach felt like it dropped out. I then wake up.

7/20/11

WILD/FA/DILD

This dream occurred during a nap. It started when I woke up and was able to WILD. It includes multiple battle scenes, but because the dream is so long, I am missing pieces. For the initial WILD, I had a strong butterfly feeling in my stomach as I entered the dream.

After I felt my stomach drop, I did the nose RC and I had successfully WILDed. I stood up from my bed but the room was dark and fuzzy. I spun around like 4 times and rubbed my hands together. This did not clear up my vision. As I stumble out the door, I lose the dream and have an FA.

I "woke up" in my bed with two girls in the room. They were apparently my friends and one may have been SW. I told them I just had a lucid dream and we started talking about it. We thought it would be cool if we could all become lucid and try playing instruments together in a dream. I lay back down in my dream bed and attempt another WILD.

I sat up in the same bed with the girls there. I did an RC and I was dreaming. So I try to play an instrument like we planned earlier. I chose a saxophone but it looked like a lot of work to assemble, and it seemed like a waste of lucid time so I left the room.

There is a large gap in my memory here. I think I lost the dream soon after and FAed once or twice. I believe I tried a few sexual endeavors. I remember I was hanging with a group of bandit type people and probably fighting. This is where the memorable stuff starts.

Something bad happens with my team of DCs. We were trying to accomplish some goal and failed. The leader of the group looks like an Indiana Jones type character. He said we have to go deeper into the dream; it was the only way. Despite the Inception reference, our goal was to take down the server, like in the matrix. I realize that I am still dreaming and I am facing a giant metal cylinder and I peer down into it. There is only white abyss. Im not afraid of death, and the leader thought it was the right idea. We all leap into the tube (probably 15 ft in diameter) and land in this hallway with metal walls. A lone stormtrooper is standing at the end of the hallway and the leader incapacitates him somehow. I say "secure the blast doors" just because I thought it was a funny Star Wars line to say. And then I heard a stormtrooper voice say the same thing. We run forward to engage more troopers.

I split off from the group and enter a room with a few stormtroopers and many big metal boxes just sitting in the middle of the room. As soon as I see the first trooper I use a force push. He falls back like 10 ft. and stays down. I look at another and I shoot a web spiderman style right at his face. I retract the web so he is thrust toward me. I grab him and use him as a human shield as I reach into my pocket. I expect to pull out a handgun and dig for 3 seconds until I feel the right shape. I pull it out, jam in a clip, and shoot over the troopers shoulder at another. I only have like 5 shots before I run out. I drop the gun and charge another trooper. I punched him once in the face and he went down. (Im not sure what happened to the trooper I was using as a human shield. He may have just fell down.) I rejoin my team and we push forward. I lose the dream soon after.

I have another FA and I wake up somewhere that is not my house. I needed to drive back home, but I was still very tired. I was trying to drive with my eyes barely able to stay open. It seems pretty dangerous so I pull over. My buddy SC comes up on a bike and I grab one and start riding with him. After a few minutes I was tired and complaining about the bike ride. I was like, "this sucks, I bet im dreaming and I dont even have to do this." Not really expecting it to work, I perform an RC and it does. I double check and I am dreaming.

I tried to show SC that I was dreaming by making a DC levitate. I point out my hand and try some telekinesis. Although telekinesis is one of my most consistent lucid abilities, it didnt work. The DC only looked up as I tried to make her float. We enter a bar in a small courtyard area. There are only guys in the bar when I walk in. Two people are slouching in chairs. We go up to them and they seem pretty hostile. I decide to fight for my dignity. However, there was just a lot of failed control moments. I try many of the same moves as with the stormtroopers but they arent as effective. I decide to pull out another gun, but it jams or something. And it turns out he has a bigger one. I was able to land a few good blows on one, but I was disappointed for being lucid and him only being a DC. Despite this, he was impressed and let us chill at the bar. It seemed to be some sort of test for toughness and I passed. He introduces me to the bartender and I find a girl that I start fooling around with. I soon wake up

5/15/11

DILD

The dream started in a locker bay of my old school as I was getting ready to go home. I was recruited by an old guy to go with him to this place where I could hone my special talents. He was referring to the powers I have when I am lucid. So I agreed and he flew me through a complex secret passageway and I ended up in Disney World. We travelled through most of the park until we hit our destination. It was the first breakfast orientation. There were maybe 50 or 60 kids that all looked confused. We sat down at long wooden tables with cereal in the middle. We were told we had to eat, but we could not use our hands to pour the cereal. I focus on the box and after a few attempts, I can control the box with my mind. I pour it into my bowl. I am sitting next to this girl. She seemed pretty good at telekinesis and I begin to talk to her. Another guy a few tables over is very proficient at this task. He appears to be the best here. I stick with the girl after breakfast. We hung out during some other lessons (the details of which I am fuzzy about) and the guy who was good during breakfast continued to show he was the best kid here. I eventually got some time alone with my girl. She is so amazing and I can completely open with her because she shares my special abilities. I quickly fall in love and we cuddle on this bookshelf. I feel like I can tell her anything.

We eventually leave the compound and head back home. I stick with my girl and the recruiter who lead the camp. We end up in this apartment. After talking for a bit we are told there is something wrong at the camp. We need to go help them. The recruiter was gone at this point and I decide to take the girl and head back. I thought I remembered the way back. My flying skills were not on par and I got very disoriented. Eventually, I make it to the beginning of Disney World. However, something stops us on the way to the main building and we never make it.

The plot of the dream shifts and I become lucid. I remember the class I had and decide to spend this dream training myself further. I tried making a portal by focusing really hard on this wall and extending my hands (this worked in a previous dream). However, I could not form the familiar red ring. Then I try to fly. It is a cloudy day. And although I can keep my speed into the air, the completely gray surrounding caused the dream to destabilize. I fell to the ground and lost the dream soon after.


The non-lucid part of the dream (especially the girl) was actually more personally memorable than the struggling lucid end.

5/14/11

WILD (part traditional WILD, part DEILD)

This WILD, although not a good dream, broke a long standing WILD draught.

I lay there in the middle of the night trying to fall back asleep. My arm begins to become tingly and numb. After awhile of body numbing sensations, I stand up. The dream is all black and I stare at my hands to try and regain vision. This doesnt help so I drop to the ground and try to feel the carpet in detail but I lose the dream.

5/10/11

DILD

This write up was done a long time after I had the dream so even thought it was a notably long one, I dont remember much.

TOTM = crash the moon into the earth

I become lucid in a dorm looking area. I decide to start working on making portals. I extend my arm and focus on a place in a wall. A red glowing circle forms and I make a run for it. As I enter, I expect to go to a forest area. I dive through and look up. It was like a half forest half dorm room. The first 10 ft. in looked like a forest and was all green. The rest looked like a normal room with the bed frame and desk being made of wood. The more portals I make the smaller they become. I spend the end of my dream trying to fly and complete the TOTM but I struggle to fly. I try to fly to space but I keep needing to stop on roofs and tree branches to keep my upward momentum. Eventually a guy appears and I start chasing him. He is mocking me for not being able to fly. I come close to catching him and then fall backward onto a tree branch that is randomly hundreds of feet in the air.

5/9/11

DILD

I became lucid and started to ignore the antagonist of the non-lucid portion of the dream. Kevin was there and talking about how he would want to have a Portal 2 like dream. So I looked at a wall and aimed my hand at it. It was not very successful, but when I tried again, the white clawed arm of the game extended out from mine and I made an orange portal. I aimed a blue one somewhere else and observed where I would come out. As I entered, it appeared to lead out in the right area. I spent the rest of the dream making portals and traveling around. I screwed with the antagonist. I was generally successful except some of the portals would be really small.

5/8/11

DILD

Attempt for TOTM (crash moon into earth)

We were running around this dark empty school at night. We had to find some criminal who was in there and potentially dangerous. I became lucid and had no fear of the criminal. The person I was with was scared of him. When I located him, said something like, "I am the ruler of this world". He tried to shoot me but with my hands up, the bullets were only gently propelled out of the gun. I used telekinesis to play with him for a bit and threw him over a hand railing. I remembered the TOTM and looked up to a full moon. As I reached my arms out to use telekinesis, I could pull it in. It had a giant fissure down the front of it and was flaming red, like some magma or something was being unleashed. I thought I should be in space for this and not crash the moon into me so I flew up. When I tried to stop and gran the moon, I was unable to hover and fell to the ground.

5/5/11

DILD

This one has pretty fuzzy memory. It was made in an attempt for the TOTM (to crash the moon into the earth) and I wanted to meet my DG and have him give me something to give me power.

I remember needing to do some task where I was wandering around this desert path and entered this underground area with circular hallways and cubicle areas. It seemed like a video game type task that I was doing. I became lucid somewhere in there and first smashed through this giant wall while flying and maintained speed (usually pretty difficult). I landed and walked around and found this chair thing that I wanted to have sex on. It was like one of the motorcycle video games at an arcade. I rounded the corner and found a cute girl. She didnt seem that interested and I didnt persist. I had remembered the TOTM
I had decided that this would be a very difficult task and I needed something from my DG that would give me confidence. Plus I really wanted to try and find my DG again. When I did, it was a different person than in previous efforts.

So I walked up the the mouth of this underground area. I was bathroom area that led outside. I stopped and remembered to try and find my DG. I just said "DG, I know you are behind me. I want you to speak." When I heard a voice, I turned around and it was my dad. I thought this was a mistake but he was there again after I tried again. So I said, "you have some token I need for..." and he held it without me finished my statement. It was a golden token that was the size of a two euro piece. It had a giant picture of something on the front that bulged well out of the coin. I think it may have been an eagle or something. He asked me if I knew how to use it. I said yeah and turned around and kissed it as I ran off. It tasted like metal. To fly out now, I needed to enter this giant cylinder that faced up. When I tried to change directions, I fell to the ground. I thought for sure the token would give me the confidence I needed to at least fly well. Disappointed, I laid on the ground for a second and soon I was fading to black and becoming a 3rd person view. My dad said that I was going to lose dream in 3...2...1.. and then I woke up..

I was very disappointed that the coin did not give me the control I was hoping for. My goal was to have something I could pull out of my pocket in future dreams and help give me power. And I feel like my "DG" kind of forced me out of the dream by counting down. I feel like that defeats the purpose of most DGs...

5/1/11

SP

I was trying to sleep on a plane and was constantly crossing the line into dreams and back out. This was my first time being still awake and immobile during SP (usually when I feel vibrations, I can just move my dream body).

I had multiple small dreams where the flight attendants were making everyone on the plane laugh. I was sitting there and began to hear lots of laughter again. I thought it was real so I tried to open my eyes and see what was going on. I was unable to open my eyes or move my arms from their position. I tried to gently roll back and forth to get out of my position with no avail. A tingling sensation would appear as I tried to twist to the side. I eventually transitioned into a non-lucid dream on the plane by being able to move eventually and opening my "eyes".

I never felt any transition into SP but later determined that the laughter was just auditory hallucinations during SP.

4/21/11

DILD

This was a very long lucid that was divided into 2 dreams. I am not sure where the division was, it may have been an FA. I forgot a lot of the dream but it probably lasted like 40 min total. I remember being surprised during the dream how vivid it stayed without me trying to stabilize it. While I was flying, I was testing the technique to use rocket boots. They worked pretty well.

In an effort to impress this girl I showed her that I could fly. I had remembered that I wanted to practice flying so I jumped off a building on to another landing. At first it didnt really work. I wanted to try rocket boots but instead of finding something to put on, I would just shake my feet as if they had some boosters at the end. My first attempted ended in my just kicking through the air like I was swimming. By the 3rd attempt it was working well in combination with me using focus to "draw" myself toward a target. I decided to try to fly to space. Right at the barrier of the atmosphere I hit some telephone wires and wooden cross-beams. I looked up and I was under some wooden roof. I decided not to fight it and skydive back down into the body of water next to this city. The town was beautiful. For some reason it reminded me of assassins creed. So I tried to swan dive but I slowly rotated so I was falling on my back. When I found the girl again, she was not very impressed.

I have a glimpse of a memory starting in some nice apartment with my friends. I was semi lucid and they wanted to go do something but I was content with doing something else.

Then the dream turned to me in some underground sewer area where I had to protect these people from radiation. There was some image I was looking at on a paper that showed me they had been hit by a lot. It had a circle that was made by a high concentration of black dashes that extended out from the circle.
There may have been a lucid part at the end too. I need to work on my dream recall.

4/13/2011

DILD

I was in some room when I became lucid, and it was getting blurry. From some reason I thought I had to get out of the room before I could stabilize the dream. I punched out a window into 2 pieces. I climbed out to a college quad looking area. I sat on a bench with two asian guys around my age. After focusing on my hand for a few seconds my vision was restored. They were complaining about one of their friends not showing up. I told them I'd help and called out his name and clapped twice. Kind of how you would call a butler. They said they already tried it and failed. I said turn around, it just worked. I never looked back but when they did, they saw him. I went inside into a girl's changing room and found a hot girl. I walked up from behind and did the dirty with her still wearing a hoodie. Some other girl looked at us in surprise but then I realized she was looking past us at someone else. I woke up when I finished

4/3/11

DILD

TOTM (to capture a ghost)

I was back in elementary school, although it wasn't mine. The teacher brought up biology so I was anxious to blow any elementary level questions out of the water. Apparently one of the Jonas brothers was in the class but I dont really know what they look like so I didn't see anyone special when I looked around. I met another kid who had a lithuanian t shirt and talked to him for a bit. I then somehow ended up at my house. I became lucid and remembered the TOTM. I went into my garage and it was gigantic. I flew up onto this platform and I could see these floating heads at the far side of the room. One was tinted red and the other was tinted green. I grabbed the top to an overhead projector and used it to try and suck them up. It wasnt working so I started to sing the ghostbusters theme. It then just started playing in the background and my projector head was working as a vacuum. They would fly right by me and then go back to where they were. The ghosts had distorted, creepy, laughing faces. One had a long chin and a mustache. Eventually I realized I couldnt suck them up so I grabbed a plastic mask and laid it under where they were flying. I looked around for a button to activate the trap. I intended it to work like the ghost-catcher thing in ghostbusters. I found a big green button and waited for a ghost to fly near it. It was the red one. I jumped on the button and they were sucked in, spiraling on the way down. The green guy had left but a brown tinted one entered so I laid another trap. He got sucked right in too. The masks didnt really change or move after catching the ghosts. After that I was yelling in excitement for imprisoning them and I started making air raid noises. I told my family a nuke was coming and sure enough, there was an explosion in the background. I tried to fly away as I woke up.

3/23/2011

FA (in dream WILD attempt)

I had an FA and rolled over before trying to WILD (at least I think I was asleep).I felt very strange vibrations. It was more like I was being compressed around my chest. It was painful, but in the dream I did not see it as abnormal. I start to see HI and try to turn it into a beach. As the HI goes away, I open my eyes into a scene of my at a window looking out at a beach. I try to fly out the window and go towards to sky but the window kills all of my speed. It turns out there is a cliff outside and I fall a few hundred feet into the ocean. I swim to a boat. There is a small throttle with "GO" written up top. I take the controls and floor it. I look back to signal the guy behind me to chase me. After a few turns I launch off another boat that was moving towards me. I impact back down with a thump and keep going. I wake up some point later