dream fragment

So a friend of mine who got me interested in this site has been telling me about the whole "reality check" things to enduce lucid dreams, but I've always failed in them UNTIL TWO NIGHTS AGO...

In my dream, I was in this big city that kind of looked like a tiny packed street in China or Japan or something, with tons of lights and words I couldn't recognize on tons of signs all over the place. My friend Lupe shoes up and she's all "hey, wanna go to this knick knack store?" or however she worded it that made it seem like we were going to some junk shop down the street. I said sure and we headed for the store. When we get inside I see tons of shelves and tons of figurines and such but I can't make out what they are or what they mean, but I somehow know what they all are. There's a clock near the door and a few people in the store. Lupe sees somebody she knows in the store and starts talking to them while I aimlessly wander down an isle of knick knacks. I check the time but the clock is all topsy-turvy like I can't make out the exact time every time a blink it changes or the hands move in funny ways (and that's normal for me in dreams, I can never read clocks. That COULD be a reality check but it never registers for me, I just think it's completely normal and that the clock will tell me the time later haha).

I turn back to the shelves and overhear Lupe talk about her class schedule with the person she ran into in the store. Whatever she said made me think, like "hey, she doesn't have that class this quarter" or "wait a minute, she's graduating next quarter not next year" or something that made me realize what she was saying was wrong. And then it hits me:

ITS A DREAM.

HOLY SH*T.

I start floating.

I'm all in my head "woah, I'm floating, this is a dream and I'm floating YES! I can do anything I want in this dream this is fantastic!"

And then like amnesia, I find I'm back down on the ground and everything in this dream is considered "normal" and I'm back to my fantasy in the dream not knowing it's a dream anymore. I just go through the isles, Lupe catches up with me, and we leave for another store a few blocks away. We don't get to it because I "wake up."

BUT I DIDN'T WAKE UP!

I'm in bed, in a room that is basically my apartment but the scenery is mixed with my apartment and Lupe's living room. I sit up in bed, stretch and see my friends Jackie and Sam are there but Lupe isn't. I groggily great them, head towards the kitchen (I'm suddenly wearing a white robe for no good reason), and pour myself a glass of iced tea like I would do if I actually was awake. I nonschalantly tell them about how I had a lucid dream but I wasn't reacting to it as I the actually awake person I am right now typing this. Everything after that becomes fuzzy and then I'm ACTUALLY awake finally.

So basically two momentous things happened that I'm not even sure really happened: a dream within a dream, which I never have, and a lucid dream, which I apparently had. But it was like I only noticed I was lucid for a few minutes and then I was sucked back into the dream reality. BUT after I was back in the dream reality, I had "split personalities" again, where I see myself in the dream doing stuff like I'm narrating or filming it or something but I can't do anything to change its course. Up til the lucid point in the store, I was in my own point of view FINALLY. I rarely have my own point of view dreams.

So I kind of want an opinion... was this really a lucid dream? Or was this my dream person making myself think I had a lucid dream? It's confusing...

TA DA

So for those who read the DJ before this one regarding me and the guy I found on an online dating site... dinner went AMAZINGLY well so I'm hoping this guy is a keeper. <3 AND when I got home from the date last night I had a dream about him AGAIN! My subconscious is working in mysterious ways lately haha.

It's only a fragment that I can remember because I didn't get much sleep last night. (Keep your mind out of the gutter, fools, I got home and tried to sleep in my own bed alone, haha.) The fragment was... the best way of describing it was a giant gridded chart of my life? I remember cubes stacked up in a grid form with moving pictures of moments that happened at the date I just had, some generic moments that I made up like seeing both of us smiling on one cube or our hands holding, stuff like that. The cubes were turning every once in while, but all of the sides of the cube had the same moving picture on all sides. I remember seeing the matched guy standing on top of one of the cubes with his hands in his pockets... and... I woke up. I'm all "DAMMIT" haha.

Those who wanna interpret what that means go right ahead, but I'm stumped... maybe it was about how my subconscious thinks I'm gonna have some awesome moments with him in the future? Or was it just my subconscious arranging memories for me in this cube affect just because I was running on lack of sleep...? This fragment I remember only lasted about an hour, so not much to go on.

TA DA

(I promise you not all of my entries will be about nightmares, haha, just gotta get this one out of the way first.)

I was 8 and living in Wyoming at the time when I first had this nightmare, and it's the first nightmare I can remember (and like I said in my other posts I mostly have anxiety dreams, only have had 2 nightmares I can remember). I've had this come up when I was 8 twice (about 6 months after it first happened, right before I turned 9), again when I was 12 right after we moved to Nevada, and when I was 15 I had a dream that spotlighted a scene from this particular nightmare.

It's mostly in first person, which I rarely dream in. I'm my 8-year-old self, walking around my house in Wyoming like it's a regular old boring day. It's really sunny outside, so all the nights are turned off and all the fans are turned on. My sister's nowhere to be found, I assume she's at a friend's house or something. My parents are out in the backyard, so I find myself wandering the rooms looking around aimlessly. I go back in my room and find my doll, who turns out to be Cynthia, the same doll Angelica has in the Rugrats cartoon. I held her up, exaimined her, and then looked at my bed. Normally I had a few of my stuffed animals surrounding the pillows, but all of my stuffed animals had turned into dolls or stuffed humans. The moment I see these on my bed, the sky outside turns orange and thick, like there's a fire nearby. I glance at the window then glance at the door and run for the backyard. The sky is so thick it's almost red as I run out through the garage and patio onto the grass. There I'm horrified to see both of my parents are engulfed in flames. But what makes this less horrifying is that they are giant stuffed bears, almost like they're wearing mascot costumes. I know they are my parents, but I'm suddenly understanding that all humans are now stuffed bears and all stuffed animals are dolls or stuffed humans. My parents are running around in circles, screaming and on fire, making little footprint-shapes of fire on the grass which is starting more of the fire. I'm hearing dramatic music in the background that's telling me it's gonna get worse. I can't get my legs to move so I can get to them to help them. I'm screaming for them and going "No!" and all that dramaticness an 8-year-old can possess as she's seeing her parents go up in flames. As I'm screaming, I wake up, realizing my face is wet from crying and I'm mouthing the words "No, no no no..."

The waking up bit has happened each time I've had it until the dream I had at 15. The only thing I remember from it was that my parents were in it asking me "remember what happened 7 years ago?" and I have a little thought bubble pop over my head with the scene of my parents as giant stuffed bears screaming and running around on fire.

TA DA