Glieuaeiel's DJ

Giant Spiders

I'm playing a hard HOMM3 scenario. I decide to put in a cheat code and skip to the end of the scenario, just to see what it's like. I'm moved to the end of a dungeon, where I get the key that unlocks the way to the final boss. Then I exit the cave, emerging to a darkened portion of the overworld map that I've never seen before. To the north, past some mountains, a giant pair of red eyes is moving around. The final boss must be a giant spider; I've fought these before. I look for a passage through the mountains. Then somehow the light improves and I can see the rest of the spider's body. Well, not all of it; it doesn't all fit on the screen. This spider is much bigger than the ones I've fought before. Even though this is only a game, I feel a distinct sense of fear. Suddenly I don't want to find a passage through the mountains; I start looking around the rest of the nearby map area instead. As I do, suddenly I see motion to the east. Panning over, I see a new spider, a blue one, almost as big as the other. It's looking for me, and it will get here in moments. I run away.

Frags:

• granola bar
• Due to an accident, I smell totally rancid.
• Someone is commenting on a picture of religious protesters. One of the protesters is holding a life-sized caricature of a naked man with a sign hanging from his erection. I think maybe the man is supposed to be Romney.
• I have to shave my beard. It's kind of a shame, because it's a full beard about an inch long and it goes well with my longer hair. [IRL: I can't grow a full beard.]

Mom's Army

My mom is an evil wizard. We would be able to deal with that, but apparently she is somehow using her powers to give similar powers to other people as well. I discover this when I overhear some men talking about how they're on their way to a ceremony gain those powers and join her army. They say that she's planning to convert one percent of the world's population, then stop, allowing them to rule over the rest of humanity. This is bad news for me and the rest of my family.

Cruelty to Animals

A woman from the housing system has taken my family's dog for a walk while we're on a camping trip. While most everyone else is distracted, I see the woman use the shock collar to zap the dog for absolutely no reason. This makes me very angry, and I immediately report the event to my dad.

Frags:

• bugs being scary
• "fly -- over [illegible] northern realms"
• orchestra audition

Salsa Skills

One of my salsa teachers (a girl) comes up to me at a dance. She says she's been really impressed by how much I've learned, and she wants to dance with me.

[Sadly, no such thing happened at the IRL dance the previous night. :'( ]

Pirate Crew

I've joined the crew of an infamous bearded pirate. There's a gigantic swimming pool inside the ship around which everyone sleeps at night. Once, I accidentally set of a musical alarm of some kind that woke up the captain. In response, he declared that there would be no music of that genre played on his ship any more. In fact, no one can even get that kind of music stuck in zir head, because there's a mind-reading device aboard that will instantly know. [The dream goes on to illustrate what the punishment would be, but I can't remember it any more.]

Out of the Frying Pan . . .

I'm near the docks of a city. There are a number of ships made of fog moored in the water. Later, a person meddles in some kind of voodoo magic that results in zir writhing on the ground, apparently feeling as though ze's being boiled alive. In order to avoid death, ze is forced to use a counterspell. But then another person standing nearby tells zir that as a side effect of the counterspell, ze is now possessed by about twenty different malignant spirits. Suddenly, the person seems very confused and dizzy.