Glieuaeiel's DJ

Underworld

I'm dead. There's a sarcophagus down here in the underworld with me. I'm not exactly sure what dead people are supposed to eat, so I try eating some dead flesh. Then I try eating a pebble.

Suddenly my roommate arrives. It occurs to me that since the underworld is the great equalizer, he could be from literally anywhere in the world. I'm not sure what language I should use to introduce myself. For that matter, I'm not sure what I should give as my birthplace. He probably won't know of my hometown, so should I mention my state? Maybe just my country?

I leave the room in search of my keys and my shoes, neither of which I currently seem to possess. I find two of my high school friends in a common area, acting like they're in the show Doctor Who. They're trying to simulate a thunderstorm. Such weather never happens in the underworld, and I feel a sudden wave of pity for them: they must miss being alive. They succeed in creating a clap of thunder, and to my surprise a portal opens that can only lead back to the living world. Who would have guessed that being a Doctor Who fan could be so useful? My friends celebrate their success for a moment, but before they can go through the portal, another voice speaks. It introduces itself as Robert Downey Jr., and some how he found out about their plan. Now he's betrayed their plan to the authorities, and they won't be able to escape.