memorable

NORMAL
NON-LUCID
REALITY CHECK POTENTIAL
REFLECTIONS

So I went to bed at i dunno, 1am or something last night! I woke up about one or two hours later, and i was having an awful sleep. NIGHT TERRORS!

1)I felt like I was having 1,000,000 thoughts every second. It was mentally exhausting and I felt like it was never going to end. I would drift in and out of sleep, each time feeling relieved that it was gone, only to realize it was still there. It was as vivid as real life, but as terrifying as a nightmare or a bad trip. I reckon it may be cos I haven't smoked in a week or so.


I was extremely relieved to realize this had all gone after I actually woke up, went to the loo and got back into bed. Honestly one of the worst experiences of my life! The rest of my dreams were nicer :- )

2Tom, Will, Ashley, Charlotte and I were seeing yung lean live in Sweden. It was cloudy but warm, and we were walking across a courtyard area of a primary or secondary school. It looked like England, but I knew it was Sweden somehow. In addition, my mates dont like yung lean much so why we would all travel across Europe to see them I do not know XD It was in a very familiar setting; the school courtyard looked like my secondary school, although at the same time it looked nothing like it, same goes to the church. We'd been there previously to see Yung Lean, hense why I recognized it. It's great that you can get nostalgic or vaguely recognize something existing only in the dream world There was also a grand piano next to a grunden, which in particular looked similar to my secondary school. Inside the church, it was suitably light. We were all sat on plastic blue chairs. I remember hearing them playing Ginseng Strip 2002, and it was excellent. They did the usual dances, it was more chilled out though than their online performances. More like the Hurt video performance. Mum was sat with my Nan a few meters to the right of me, and Mum thought it was funny.

3) I was in Tom. R's living room with Latham. C, Luke.Y and Harry.H. It was late, must have been about midnight. It was light in the room but very dark outside. I was getting bored and was ready to leave, but I wanted to stay at the same time as someone had weed and I wanted to smoke up big time. I decided to bare with it for a while, and asked Latham over politely if I could blag a lift off of him later on in the night. He said that was fine, but started to get ready to leave. I didn't want to leave anymore as I knew they'd be smoking up soon, but I didn't want to be rude as he was going out of his way to drop me home. Harry. H had been meaning to drive home too, but claims he accidentally ended up getting really stoned which was a problem as he wanted to drive home. In the car with Latham it was dark other than the red lights of his dashboard. It was awkward and naff as I didn't want to leave but I appreciated his effort, and he wasn't going home - literally dropping my home then returning to Tom's! Latham didn't have a clue where I lived which was kind of a kick in the teeth, as we were best friends as children and were always round each others houses. When I explained to him where I lived, he mocked me as it was only a 10-15 minute walk away, calling me lazy. This was true, but I didn't really care. Tom's house had moved - it was now where Ollie.P used to live! When I got home, I sat on the sofa with my Dad. Everything was cool with him. The setting suddenly changed from the familiar living room to an unfamiliar, grey, but welcoming doctors surgery during the day. I feel like this may have been a completely separate dream. We were still sat on the sofa, and the television was still in front of us, but it was higher up on a wall bracket now. We were watching some sort of weird, Japanese advert for stopping racism. I said it was so dated, but my Dad just said it simply wasn't my cup of tea. It was my cup of tea though! The people were in some sort of large metal tank, much like a boiler, and it had a modified robot brain inside it. After a while, Dad said to me, "I hate to ask this, and I know it's boring. I know you quit the fags, but what about other stuff? Like weed?" There was a long pause here whilst I tried to figure out something to say. Normally I would just deny it, but something felt quite casual and honest about this experience, even though I knew it wasn't. I was going to tell him that I just smoke occasionally, which is true, and that I can turn a joint down these days...not so true The pause made it extremely awkward and obvious. My mum said something, but I didn't hear it, so to speak. It was like sound inside my mind, saying "Everytime Tracey and I walk past you she asks 'Is that smell what I think it is?' and I can't just keep lying to her!".

4) Luke A, Liam C and Gary. P were all very stoned inside one of their bedrooms. It was a small room, and very dark. The haziness of the hotboxed smoke made it even darker, making the view of them almost grainy. Luke A had been told to put some very large headphones on, and was listening to something.

5) Bryn had invited Tom, Will, the girls and I round his house for a smoke up. I was in the back of my parents car on the way home from somewhere. It was a nice day - sunny and warm, with a few clouds here and there. I knew I wanted to go to Bryn's and so did my parents, but they drove straight past his house as they wanted to go home first, for some reason. This was annoying, as it would mean we would have to make another trip, and I didn't see the logic in it. When we got home and I was in my living room, my parents decided they didn't want to drive me to Bryn's. No particular reason, just didn't want to! This meant I had to walk - LONG! I realized that if I ran I could probably be there in 15 minutes. Bryn, Will and Tom and maybe the girls were already there, in a room I'd never seen before. I was hoping they'd not start smoking before I arrived. Bryn claimed his bud was extremely potent, but he had very little of it.

6) I was at my local Green with my manager Lynsey's daughter Emily. It was about 7pm on a summers evening, and the weather was beautiful! It was still quite light, with the light glimmering through the trees. Lynsey's car pulled up by the back bench, so Emily and I walked towards the black large car. I went to Lynsey's side of the car - she was driving, and she had her window winded down. She recently had a miscarriage, and this was the first time I'd seen her since, but she looked well. I found it strange that she was driving and not her husband, who was in the passenger seat.

So I meditated for the second night last night, once again loving the effects. I'm currently using a meditation guide which focuses on accepting the universal mind, which is perfect for me as I find it hard to accept and get very scared. However, I'm thinking of trying another one at some point to see what it's like. Anyway, I had my first visual hallucinations! I reached the point of feeling like I was floating that I always get, and got OOBE like vibrations, when suddenly it got even more intense and I could see these faint purple patterns in my eyes!! It was awesome, as I've never had these for some reason. Anyway, unfortunately that got ruined as, lets just say sexual energies propped up and it was too hard to concentrate. I'm going to try to work on that. Anyway, like the previous night, I had an intensely vivid dream. However once again, I forgot to write it down. This is what I remember.

1) I was in an area that looked like the woodland area I used to wait for my bus at secondary school. It was twilight, with a beautiful purple-blue sky. I was with other people who I can't remember unfortunately, and we were waiting for a bus. I was at the far left of the woodlands at one bit that I remember. Another bit was me remembering that I was running away from whoever I was waiting with, laughing. For some reason I remember holding some sort of cord. Was it the OOBE cord!?

Last night, I meditated for the first time in ages! It left me feeling great, although I was interrupted my my friend phoning me! Anyway, when I went to bed, I had some very strange dreams. Unfortunately, I can't remember most of them - I need to remember to write them all down!!! But what I do remember is that I kept getting "messages", I think from people, reminding me that I had just meditated. My dreams were very vivid, and I had what felt like an incredibly deep sleep. The weird thing is, I went to bed at 11:00pm, had this incredibly deep sleep, and woke up at 12:30am feeling completely refreshed! That's the first time I've woken up like that in a long time! I think I may have had a lucid too, although I can't remember it.

1) I was at Ryan.B's party that in RL is due for this saturday. I gave his Mum money for alcohol in RL for a bottle of strongbow. In the dream I gave her the money for one bottle and asked if I could pay her back for a second, which was fine. It was nice weather - about 5pm, sunny with a few clouds. I also asked Amy to buy me a draw of cannabis. When Ryan's Mum came back, she'd bought me just two cans of cider, which were very posh and about 13% each?! I was really confused, and compared the percentage to wine. It cost £15, i was only planning to spend £3.50!! I was a bit annoyed but not too bothered. Amy came over to me with the draw, and it was in a regular plastic clingfilm bag with a HUGE amount of weed in it for £10. I was very confused and on closer investigation, realized it was some sort of plastic model of moss. I refused to take it and asked for my money back (although I don't remember giving her any in the first place). I told her that she had to bun me on her weed as I wasn't gonna get messy otherwise and she refused, saying that she had hardly any left. We went into a tent she had set up for some reason, and in it was some sort of bench, with loads of little bits of weed in it. It was like the garlic weed that I had in a previous dream! I moaned at her telling her she had enough for at least 3 joints! The tent was red so the light was very dark inside.

2) I was driving with my Dad, and I dropped him off at Waitrose. I carried on driving, and suddenly realized he wasn't in their to guide me! THIS WAS ILLEGAL! I was on the dual carriageway now and was very very scared, and just wished it was a dream, constantly doing reality checks (that clearly didnt work ). It was a cloudy sky. I was so scared at what my Dad would do, and whether he would notice if I just parked it where I found it. I ended up getting lost, ending up in Staffordshire (a place I didn't know existed, how weird).

Last night, I remember nothing. I don't just mean dreams, I mean my general night
I went out with my mates in the woods like antisocial teenagers and we had a lovely bonfired with some beers, was great! Anyway I got really drunk on Scrumpy Jacks and made my way home at about 1am and passed out in my bed. Next thing I know, I wake up in the middle of the night to wetness and nasty smells. Yeh, I pissed the bed. WORST THING that could have happened. I flipped the mattress and would have washed the sheets but was scared of my mum finding out but she hasn't noticed, so I'll just have to put up with a urinated bed for a couple of days