lumiina

Earlier this morning, I had a non-lucid dream about a false awakening at my mom's. I recognized this and did a mantra when falling back to sleep that I am falling asleep in my room, so if I wake up anywhere else, I am dreaming.

Then, comes my MILD!

7:32 am MILD

False awakening lucid at my mom's. I hear the door bell ring and answer it. I know it's a dream because I remember I fell asleep at my apartment. It is one of the daycare moms at the door here to pick up her son, N. I see N, and another daycare kid, M, below me. I look down at M and try testing the gravity. I think he asks me what I am doing and I think I tell him I need to check the gravity because I'm dreaming.

Despite the fact that I know I'm dreaming, the dream feels so weird, it doesn't feel like a dream, except for the fact that I'm levitating. The way in which the dream characters are acting are how they would've in real life.

It takes a bit of effort but I manage to propel myself into the air and levitate after spinning. I see my mom and try to ask her 世界を変えることはできますか？ but the words are so hard to get out of my mouth. As I'm struggling to say them she asks, "What?" and once I finally say it she says, "Yes" very briefly and casually in English while looking the other way. She seems distracted by her own reality instead of paying attention to my lucid dream efforts. I'm not sure if she actually understood me.

I wake up because I don't feel fully asleep and am afraid to fall asleep and can feel my paralysis. I'm also afraid I won't be aware of my surroundings in waking life if an intruder breaks in.

After waking up and writing down my dream, I went back to sleep. I had many false awakening dreams in my apartment. I try to focus my brain away from lucid dreaming because at this point I just want to sleep and finally I fall asleep and have four non-lucid dreams.

One of the non-lucid dreams had Japanese Sign Language in it.

9:30 am non-lucid

I have a dream that a boy who knows Japanese Sign Language and who is deaf came to our daycare. He signs the signs for "sign language" "can" "can not do" "question marker" to me. I reply with "can" and am excited. His father however doesn't seem to know how to sign and could hear. I text my friend from the farm dream about how there's a little boy who's native language is JSL at daycare.

Recalled another dream.

03/21/14

6:30 am non-lucid

Another dream about cars. I'm driving to church (?), but I get stuck in traffic and am unable to get off the exit in time, so just keep going, all the way down to the city. The dream landscape is similar to my other dreams in which I drive to the city and am trying to get home. In fact, as I'm thinking about how to get home as my dream self, that landscape comes to mind.

I'm upset about missing church, but feel like it's unfair to be judged because I tried so hard, but there was just so much traffic and it was so complicated turning myself around.

03/21/14

6:30 am non-lucid

I had a dream that I couldn't find where I parked my car. I was at a school of some sort, though I'm not sure if it was my high school, university or a mix of the two. This is because at one point my high school classmates were in the dream. But I was me, from present day, and they were older too. The dream landscape is similar to the one from my dream about the high school reunion. Different from my past dreams about high school and different from my dreams about my university.

I was looking for my car with my girlfriend (no girlfriend in waking life). Or, boyfriend? At some point she became a girl. And I think at one point, she became my close friend from the dream about the farm. Despite having a girlfriend in the dream, I also had a husband (my husband from waking life). Someone once questioned (or I questioned myself), "What about my husband," and I replied that I'm still dating my husband too, like I haven't chosen between them yet. I've had dreams like this before in the past too. In which I have to choose between my husband and boyfriend/girlfriend, but haven't yet.

The path we go down to get to the car is snowy, and there are various snow filled parking lots around it. Some too filled with snow to park in.

3/18/14

8 am non-lucid

Had dream set in my apartment but not false awakening, just a normal dream.

In a few instances, people (seemingly harmless, like an old lady) would sneak into my apartment and try to steal things, but then I'd catch the, and shoo them away.

There was a man in my dream who stayed with me to protect me. Something was wrong with him, maybe depression, so he didn't have a job. He was engaged to someone. He is Asian. I think he is one of my online friends from waking life.

At one point, he and my husband met. They talked about me in a protective, caring way.

9:16 am non-lucid

I did have sort of a false awakening dream where I was scared of an intruder and couldn't get out of bed, but I wasn't lucid.

Someone who isn't Christian is teaching the Bible. He comes to a point where the class thinks there is a contradiction. He explains that they're right and how that's just a mistake since it's just a book. I want to say no, but I'm in bed so I can't. Then someone next to me in a chair, Darryl from The Office, says, "No, it's not a contradiction."

3/17/14

9:44 am non-lucid

Dreamed about a cat again. A little gray tabby kitten and two other little creatures. Was in my old room at my mom's.

Faint feeling of buying manga at a local Japanese market.

3/16/14

6:39 am non-lucid

Dream Part 1

For our class, we're given bamboo sprouts to plant in bottles. I love the idea, but am overall saddened that as usual my fine motor skills (or lack thereof) get in the way, and creates a mess. I try to explain this to my teacher, who is Chinese (resembles my East Asian history teacher a little, but not exactly her), but she doesn't understand and instead is disappointed in me for not trying hard enough.

We receive Japanese children's books. One of mine is from a segment on children's books I remember from Japanese TV (not in waking life) and I feel excited. I think to myself, we can use these for Tadoku (a foreign language reading contest), especially my Japanese language club members who are doing Tadoku for the first time.

I approach my teacher. Somehow I end up talking to her in Chinese, just a little tiny bit. I remember using the word "hanyu", which means Chinese language. I tell her I had a Chinese teacher who taught me a different subject (something related to Japanese and maybe Japanese sign language).

Scene transitions to a video in which you control where you want to go in the scene, like a video game. I remember this is the set for something with Japanese Sign Language and this must be how they made the films. As I realize this the film becomes clearer in vision to me as a dreamer, but grainy to my dream-self, artificial.

Before I join my "bamboo class", my teacher notices me from afar while I'm talking with someone else near the entrance of a room at the end of the hall. My teacher wants me to come to class, even though there should be a few hours before class left. When I get there, it's another class. I think math.

I have this worry mid dream that I'm not wearing underwear because I had to throw it away or put it away, but realize I am wearing underwear and am relieved.

Done writing dream at 7:19 am.

9:38 am non-lucid

Had a dream Mittens (my cat) was in my car. (Recalled triggered by hugging my other cat, Miitan.)

I wasn't so happy about Mittens being in my car instead of safe at home. She would escape many times when people would come into my car and I had to drive them around. Because I was parked at my home church with a large field, thankfully it was safer and easier to catch her than a busy street.

At one point I went to my mom's, where my sister-in-law was having her second wedding ceremony with my brother. But I missed it (though I didn't care to go, they're already married). She and others talked about how I missed it. Not mad at me, just teasing. I got so mad/frustrated, trying to explain that Mittens was in my car and I had to drive people around all day, but they just wouldn't understand. I yelled and screamed.

I realized Mittens was still in my car and imagined her lonely and thought it may be dangerous for her to be in the car that long. Thankfully, my dad came to me and said he took her back to my place (I think) and I was relieved.

3/16/14

6:39 am non-lucid

Dream Part 2

I overhear a school's presentation in another class after hearing Japanese coming from the class. I decide to join in and watch and the scene transitions to outside at a Japanese concert with Japanese music. I find my friends and cheer. Then, it goes back to the classroom, in which I'm cheering for the presenter.

Not sure if this was the same presenter, but one of the presentations is about Conan O'Brien. Student dresses up, looking like Conan, has red hair. After the presentation I bump into him on the way to the parking lot and congratulate him. I'm charmed by him and almost forget that I'm headed to the wrong parking lot, supposed to be going to a satellite parking lot further away.

The guy is actually some sort of witch that kills its victims when he gets them to go back to his hotel with him. He is male, but has a evil female presence. I realize this. My friend is worried about me, but I tell her not to worry, I broke away and left for my car.

Somehow we do end up at the hotel. Me, my friend (female), my husband and that guy. I remember my love for my husband to avoid getting charmed by him, but I'm worried for my friend. All of the sudden, we're running from him and we go down to the basement (my mother's) to escape, but it's too late for my friend. She tells us to go, she'll hold him off. Her fingernails dig into the archway of the entrance to the basement stairway. He gets to her and kills her. This is when she comes to the realization of what the presentation really meant. Conan O'Brien was just a cover. The aspect of wanting to see him stood for loss, mourning and missing one's loved ones who have passed away.

This dream didn't make my heart pound or terrify me, but I still think it's a nightmare because I'm left creeped out, lingering into my waking life.

Was scared to go to the bathroom alone after I woke up and brought my husband with me. Scarily enough, the mirror to the medicine cabinet was open! I had him close it.

I also had this feeling towards the end of the dream that my own fingernail was digging into my skin (I don't know if it actually was in real life) and needed to wake up to stop it.

3/14/14

WBTB 6:30 am

7am non-lucid

We're in Paris. My brother has two large toy plastic pokemon balls. He throws them around and two kids notice and try to take them, playfully. Later he tells me he got them back.

I think before this part, it was a dream about the game pokemon. Or maybe the anime.

My brother's pokemon balls were green and large, like the size of a beach ball. I remember thinking, oh, the new generation has green pokeballs.

Pokemon have up to ten generations of parents now listed in their details. In my dream, I saw it listed as 0. But for example, if you bred two growlithes, and their offspring with another growlithe, the grandchildren growlithes would have a 2 in this category.

3/13/14

4:54 am non-lucid

Dream that I have dark skin and light brown hair and am dating this boy and am in high school. Doesn't feel like me, more a character.

I have a blog in the dream.

Scenario repeats itself once.

Joined this sort of club with the boyfriend.

At the end, I am brought to the attention by someone older than me that I tell about the club there might be hazing and I need to report it. I decide to report it.

Finally get this really nice black wallpaper and hold painting for my home to make it look fancy. Kind of like Animal Crossing.

Play a Mario group game with the club and am really bad at it, such as steering. At this point the dream freezes and voice overs from club members, like these were the deleted scenes alternative version and the first scenario was what really happened.

3/12/14

3:10 am non-lucid

Zombies. Eventually we have to live downstairs in a basement to escape (or be kept away from). We seem to have been infected, but it's not so bad.

Atmosphere transfers from dark to comedic. I, as Lesley Knope at one point, am called back to the above ground, but in a protective suit as not to infect others, in order to feed someone who won't eat. (Maybe he was infected, not us?)

Wasn't always Leslie Knope, just at that point. Comedy montage music playing in the background.

Before that point my husband and I am in the basement with another couple.

Some sort of analogy to Japanese language learning blogs and my job at JALUP. Tofugu included.

One of our cats in the basement with us.

We're hiding in the basement. Dream didn't start off in the basement, but I don't remember point before basement.

Playing board games till 6pm with another girl who loves games. This brings on the talk of Japanese learning blogs. She works for Tofugu.

03/11/2014

7am non-lucid

In my dream, you (me) and I (my husband) had to sleep in this Japanese shrine for a night, but there was few dead bodies of girls. After spending a night there, we realized we should report to police.

That's when I realized that the bodies are gone and they were ghosts. I still reported to police, also saw a new body of a dead little girl. She woke up and started talking to me that they are not really ghost but of representation a girl's emotion of feeling like being killed every time she was abused by her father.

Reflections

It was intense. And very interesting. Something you could use for a story.

You wonder how these stories are made in dreams. But for my case, I can see in my dream that it just makes the story up as dream goes on.

3/11/14

WBTB 7:30am, Awake 8:30am

WILD

Swimming in bedroom, can breath out of nose (RC). However, I realize that I'm having a WILD, instead of the MILD I was aiming for and am afraid of the paralysis and other things I might experience during a WILD, so I jerk myself awake.

non-lucid

Seeing video game (graal) bar, go behind counter and transported to volcano island level (like in the real game). Expecting the baddies that throw rocks to come but they don't appear. Like a vivid stream of thought.

non-lucid

I see myself in my large bedroom mirror. Extremely realistic. The figure in the mirror looks exactly like me, but I don't feel like it's me because it's acting on its own. It is staring intensely at me and starts to pull her face off, but I wake up before it does.

non-lucid

Listening to a church sermon at my home church. I remember the sermon being really good, but I shortly forgot it when I woke up.

I jerk myself awake out of paralysis with each dream out of fear of sleep paralysis. I was too excited during MILD to lose consciousness while transitioning into a dream state.

3/10/14

Awake at 7:20 am

Brushed teeth, went to the bathroom, hugged husband goodbye.

A little afraid to fall back to sleep and have a FA. I remind myself I need the sleep and this is the way I can achieve my lucid dream.

I visualize my dream plan and pray to God I have a lucid dream and fly. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

8:05 am MILD

I had a dream that I had a FA, but was scared and "woke up" but really it was another FA.

I went out my living room door, reminding myself that I'm going to try to fly. Some sort of cart in the hallway. Then I go outside to a playground/baseball field. I attempt flying many times with little success, so I use the things around to push myself up. Then finally, I'm dog paddling and swimming high in the air! I land and remind myself I need to stabilize the dream. So I rub my hands together. Then flew over to a dream character. There were three male dream characters. This one in particular looked like a past high school classmate of mine with brown hair and kind of a jock. I remembered the task of the month and asked him, "What's my middle name?" He replied, "Windy," took my hands and flew with me in the sky. (I got the task of the month wrong! Ha. I'm supposed to ask what his middle name is!)

At one point I travel down the sidewalks. With each step I float a little down the sidewalk. There are skaters on the sidewalk, one a young girl. I wonder if people who fly in dreams have the same stigma as people who skate in waking life.

I go back to my apartment, remembering that I need to wake up. I struggle to. At one point, my grandma enters the dream. I tell her I need to wake up. I go back to my bed and reach for my dream journal to try to write my dream down, but it doesn't work, I just barely write scribbles. Somehow, I'm hoping that in waking life I'm also writing things down, it never occurs to me in my FA that what I do in the FA is not affecting the waking world. It's 1 pm in my dream, I need to get up. Then, I reach over for hand lotion on my side table (though, in real life, this hand lotion is out in the living room), squirt some on my fingers and rub it on my tongue to try to wake myself up. It works, I'm repulsed by the taste and wake up.

Dramatic and passionate music sung by a man throughout the dream. A lot of "ooh, ooh, ooh" vocals.

Finished writing my dream down at 8:18 am.

3/8/14

9:20 am non-lucid

Part 2

Something about to be revealed. Dramatic music with string quartet. I keep myself turned around because I don't want to see. First, girl from daycare (who was on the train in that other dream) peers out of the curtain (and someone harmless before her) and we're relieved. But the daycare kid says to us that someone else is there, implying someone tall and scary. Then I wake up.

Before the revealing, we are expecting something menacing and evil. But I (or my husband? or us combined?) remember the last time we faced it and how the creature wasn't too bad. I'm imagining the creature as よつば. My husband (or me?) says to sit in a bathtub so that we won't wake up (?) when we face her.

Part 1

Before this, we're all on vacation. We were forced to leave the nice timeshare (?) to go to a cabin in the woods with a lake. My husband and I were very upset and wish we had asked to stay behind.

More than just my family was there. At one point, I went to eat lunch when it was the Japanese lunch time. I remember there being very authentic food made by this nice lady (a mentor) and thinking perhaps I shouldn't complain about being here. My husband was there, and other Japanese ladies. One asked why I was at this table and another replied because I'm married to my husband.

At some point I go off further into the woods, past these signs in various languages except English and Japanese. I find a shallow source of water and drink from it. I don't recall exactly, but throughout this part of the forest there are things abandoned. I wonder if this area has radiation and regret drinking from it. I leave the area and look at the sign. There's English but I don't understand what it says. This was the most interesting part of my dream. I would like to revisit this area in another dream again.

Transitioning to the evil presence coming, something about going to a shopping complex with my husband.

3/6/14

The following is all one dream and did make sense as one cohesive dream when I woke up. However, I was too tired to write all the details so just wrote the highlights. Now looking back at it, these look like all kinds of mini-dreams, when they all originally worked together as one plot. I'm happy I at least wrote the main points down though.

I also remembered that aquatic animals is another dream sign of mine.

8:15 am non-lucid

Dream with Japanese Sign Language in it.

Scene with aquatic animals and non-aquatic animals.

Someone is after my family.

High school reunion, my close friend from the farm dream and someone from my home church are there, even though they didn't attend my high school.

A classmate of mine from Japan tried to get me to memorize a Japanese Christian song so covers my eyes when I sang.

I meet a Deaf person who only knows ASL and a hearing person who is learning ASL and JSL. I try to sign with the Deaf person, but since I only know JSL, can not communicate. Eventually, I turn to writing down what I want to say. I'm worried he thinks I am making up signs when it's really a different language. I suppose I was just showing him I know a sign language too and it's nice to meet him.