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    Nocturn Core (Abridged)

    Defecation and Pokemon Hunting

    by , 03-12-2011 at 06:50 AM (545 Views)
    I was in the living room of my Omi’s old house in Louisiana. Austin was playing old video games. I went into the bathroom to relieve myself. Sometime later, I flushed and realized the toilet was clogged. Not only that, but a massive lump of waste (about the size of my head) had somehow ended up in the bath tub full of water beside me. I fished it out with a plunger, but I kept dropping it back in the water and on the floor of the bathroom. Every time I dropped it, a little chunk fell off. Eventually, it was small enough to fit in the toilet, so I put it in there. I didn’t clean up the mess on the floor. I put the plunger back in the bath tub, and suddenly, I was floating on the surface of the water with a fishing rod. A message appeared at the top of my field of vision, warning me that something was approaching! I tapped a button on a controller several times and pulled a Gyarados out of the water. The traditional Pokemon battle screen appeared. I didn’t have any Pokemon yet, so my health bar appeared. I only had 19 HP. The Gyarados had several hundred. I knew this couldn’t possibly end well, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d saved my game, so I fled. I got away without any problems. As I swam to the edge of the bath tub to get out, I had another random encounter – this time with a Magikarp. It was much weaker, obviously, but it had some abilities other than splashing around like an idiot. I ran from that fight, too, to save time.

    I encountered a Rattata on the tiled floor of the bathroom. I decided I was going to catch it. I punched it in the face when it was my turn, and then it bit my arm. This continued for a couple more turns. After that, my health was getting low, so the game asked me if I wanted to use pills to heal. I started popping pills. The rat did the same thing. It wouldn’t give me the choice to stop taking pills every turn… The Rattata and I both restored ourselves to maximum health. Interestingly, I had seven health bars, and the Rattata had nine of them… When I punched it once, eight of them disappeared. I prepared to throw a Pokeball and capture my first Pokemon…

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