Nhuc

It's been awhile since i've dreamt, but lately i've been dreaming. And it's always you. I dont want it to be, I hate it. But I can't help it.

A few days ago I had a lucid about me finding the lost parts of myself and piecing them back together to save my family. To create this kind of superman to defeat all evils. It bothered me a little that I thought of myself as able to do that. Ahh well.

well, I realize the last time I posted was before I did the ritual of the serpent. that was... nearly 2 years ago. It took awhile but my dreams have been coming back to me over the past year. I could talk about my nights in the crucible. Or my nights in the hells of death, the moment before death when all is fine. I could talk about my days in the arena, or my journey through the countryside into my darkest horrors. I could talk about my reflections on my past and vaugner the pussy lol. I could talk about my recent dreams where my guides have come back and started testing me more and more. I could talk... but instead I'll just say, lucid dreaming is the greatest thing anybody could do, at least for yourself, but every dream makes you stronger, every dream makes you a better person, and every dream makes you smarter. If not, don't dream until you know how.

So i've had many, many LD's since my last writing, Everywhere from further story progressive to adventures, many a nights I would scream in my sleep *I was told* what I was experiencing.
Since no-one but me will read this I suppose this would be better a chronicle now, than a dream journal, because my dreams are different now.

Since I have completed the serpent ritual and my rite of passage into shamanism, culled and weeded by my family I have changed a lot of my outlook on life, and now I exist in a time without space. My only moments to myself are drowned in the drug of my choosing while I perform my nightly ritual of knowledge, where I find myself on DV chat quite often. Here, as I am now, I learn about my day, and the days to come. As I pass back and forth through my own past and future I find a calm, comforting spot I can tell myself what is happening, and what is going to. I lay out my path every night and live it the next day, from now I tell myself what I will learn tomorrow.

My dreams now, are something beyond irregular. I no longer go on adventures, or progress through my old paths.

My dreams have become my reality, since I now live in a place without time, my dreams have become my memories. I live back through my life, re-learning everything, re-experiencing every single emotion and situation. I have already lived through 90% of my life, and I will continue reliving it every night for the rest of my life, to remind myself who I am. But then I awaken. And I pass through days ,weeks, and months, not yet years, all within the time it takes me to fall asleep again. The people around have said I have become a beacon lately. Always ready to dispense wisdom, and just slightly out of it. Everything thinks I'm taking something, and no-one believes me when I say I am sober. But everyone trusts me now, people I don't even know their names, now approach me, by name, and talk to me as if I am their best friend.

However, family tradition persists and I am not allowed to move forward until I complete my last act of business, and help my last charge, I succeeded but they then failed without me, therefore my job as a shaman is incomplete, and my body will show it, ever degrading until I accept defeat, or rework, now, through a strenuous process of bullshit.

Either way, I shall either confirm I am still purely human, or I will continue to fulfill my role as a community leader.
But I have never failed.

These happened over the course of a few weeks, as did many more, but i could only remember these, and very small portions the longer I decide not to write them down, so before I completly forget them here they are.



The first thing I can remember that happened I awoke sitting in a crowd. My attention turned to the speaker in the room, what he was speaking of I do not remember, However, I knew it was my job to kill him. I followed him outside, and to his house across the street ( convienent yes? ) I went up to him to strangle him, when two large guys pushed me down, I got up and ran into the house to hide from them. I went through the dining room and out the back door. There was a large iron fence two feet in front of me and lining the house. I saw who i knew to be his uncle who was a massivly deformed and giant guy. I turned left and saw a small opening above the fence right below where the roof was, I attempted to climb through but my game mentality told me, nope invisable wall. So I turned to face him, everyone few seconds since the start of the drem my mind would blank to a large group of chickens in a cage, I ran past the guy and turned right, to find stacks of cages 5 and 6 across, with only a small opening underneath a long cage, maybe 10 meters. I looked inside the cage a there were chickens there, and I knew I wasn't going to like this. Underneath the cage were hundreds of rats chewing on tiny bones, and mounds and mounds of shit.

I told the dream, no, fuck that, auto me through it I;m not crawling through rats and shit. and I found myself on the other side I crossed the street and my run became a steady walk. After a few minutes of walking I saw a large dirt path in front of me, trees lining either side. I looked to my right and saw a large beaten down house, the sides protruding up and around it, windows knocked out, where windows shouldn't have been, the south wall giving it a highly irregular and physic defying shape.

Then I found myself inside the house floating, I was staring into a room, where every few seconds in rhythm a loud shriek would fill the air, then in the cornor of the room, a large black blob would emit a multitude of tenticles that crawled along the walls and floors in a wave, i traced them into the hallway, and another room where there were a group of eggs, everytime the tentecles would reach them, the eggs would shriek and dissolve, and new eggs would fall in thier place. I grabbed one of the eggs and ran to another room, before the tentacles grabbed me, the egg rolled and a little girl lie there where the egg was, I told her to run, and I assumed her being. I then climbed out of the window in the bathroom where I fell.

I found myself on top of the building, I climbed along the south wall up and around until I could drop to lower window panes until I eventually made it to the ground. Then I met up with myself at the start of the dirt path. We walked in silence for about 30 seconds when I looked up and saw the sun.





Dream 2,


It was set in a world where all forms of the undead walk the earth, with humans. Most of the dream went by, which i cannot remember, then I assumed the being of my friend who was a zombie, he was trying to solve a mystery on who killed a human. I interviewed a few zombies before giving up and rejoining me at a table. We sat and joked a bit. When i decided to go explore the dreamscape some more. I found a group of vampires, whom I sat with. One of the females asked me if I would like to join them. "Immortality? sure that sounds wonderful." So, i let her bite me, (and it did feel quite nice) but she kept drinking and drinking and I knew she was trying to kill me, at which point I threw her to the ground put my foot on her neck and said, "Do you know who I am? I made you and everything around us."


Dream 3

Well it was a short lapse of lucidity i had last night. I was walking across the street with cars rushing past me, I turned left and saw one about to hit me "No," i said, as i held my palm up and sent the car flying. I thought, oh good, I'm lucid its been a few days, let's have some fun, so I put another car on flames, and liquified another. then one hit me and I woke up.

I awoke, to find a woman. It was white everywhere, and she was on her computer. She looked up my name. Ahh Jason, hodl on one second and I will get your information up. She looked at her computer, and froze. At that moment she said, hold on, this is beyond me. she disappeared and a man took her place.
"Hello Mr. A, I run this place, I hear you have something interesting, this is my associate," with that another woman appeared. "She will guide you."

The man disappeared and I was left with the woman.
"who are you?" I asked.
" Your guide," she replied. "It is my job to make sure the journey will be smooth."
She told me many things, Among which that, my destiny was to be a judge, the judge of the four winds. From there I met many parts of my self. She led me through a door, into a library, I looked through the books that were being read, I cannot remember them at the time but they seemed significant. I spoke with the musical incarnation of myself after we left finding myself on top of a cliff, and he told me how to return to lucidity and gave me tips. If I were ever ready to tread upon the path. My guide told me, for now, worry not about it, instead know yourself, and face your fears, with that she jumped off a cliff. I looked over and it was a sharp drop, hundreds of thousands of feet in the air. I stepped back a few times, the musical self, looked at me and waited for my reply.
I told him, Fuck it, I can't be afraid forever, and I jumped off. Only to find myself on a ice slide across the plane, (which was very fun if I might ad.) I found myself in a small meadow surrounded by trees. And my guide and two others, which I reasoned one to be how I view my wife in my subconscious looking into a pool of water. My guide told me, "We must leave for now, but when you are ready, we will be here." With that I awoke. I tried to force myself back into the dream but I managed only for half a second before awakening again.