Quick Silver

After a lot of misses and less hits with DILDs, WILDS, EILD, Subliminal methods and everything that I could possibly throw at this every night, I finally found a method that seems to be working for me. I found out about this due to curiosity. At first I thought the first try was just luck but it seemed peculiar to me. But when I did this successfully 2 more times I found out that this simple method actually works! And it gave me more consistent hits then the DILD method alone.

Basically what I did yesterday was I just went about my day and wasn't even thinking about Lucid Dreaming because I was in the stage where I nearly gave up because I was going at it so long. But during a visit from a friend I suddenly had a random thought about how my friend keeps being portrayed in my dreams. Then I thought to myself.... "I will have a LD tonight." and I did it while knowing that I would, with no doubt in my mind. Then I would push that aside and forget about it while going about the rest of my day.

Sure enough, during a dream about Candy and awesome tasting cookies that were put left out on a living room table. And my NJROTC class (which seemed to much more like the military then a high school program.) I got mad at them because I wound up being the odd man out somehow. And I got in a verbal and almost physical argument with one of the higher ups. It seemed to me that a lot was at steak because we were in a parking garage complex and some kind of enemy was out there. After the argument I realized that I wasn't just the odd man out anymore, I now had to get out of there because I apparently did something worse. So I dashed out and I looked around my surroundings which were beautiful. It seemed to me that this was an entire base out in the middle of an awesome grassy field. The grass wasn't ridiculously long it was about as normal as my grass in the back yard. but the color green was more faded with the evening sky. The sun wasn't fully down yet. Suddenly the feeling of being in between awake and asleep came to me, it didn't hit me, it kind of faded in while I was running. Then I said to myself subconsciously, "there it is again! That feeling!" I stopped for a moment and thought, "Alright now I'm going to try running at sound speed!" I closed my eyes and I could feel myself running, (which was awesome!) but I couldn't feel that push or any speeding up. I opened my eyes again and sure enough I was going at normal pace. I thought that if I focused that I'd be able to. Then I consciously, and on purpose, tried to really do a Kamehameha wave, but all I got was a near black out because I really focused the crap out of it and pushed it. Then I thought to myself that I need to ground this dream more. So I ran over to the metal roof that was buried in the ground and that led to the other distant part of the base. It was an outside spot with all of this stuff. Basically I got the impression that this was a small refugee camp or something. I started to feel the metal and focus on it, but it was too much in a hurry because the sub thought conveniently came at the back of my mind that I'm going to lose control again. I could feel the metal on my hands which was a first because I never felt anything in my dreams like that before. I could feel the bumpy surface and everything, but I lost the control. Then some other random dreams followed.

Despite the fact that I messed up. I didn't fail, this was a learning experience that helps me so much now. Now I know it was that feeling that I got when I would wind up in limbo after being knocked silly out of a dream. It was the same feeling from the first Lucid I ever had. I remember it, and I felt it, and now I know this method works! It simply uses the weapon that I'm using already during my waking life, I believe that there isn't anything that I can't do as long as I put my mind to it, failure only happens if I let it. It's because of this state of mind that I'm excelling in my college classes and my art work is looking the way it should, and the way I want it. This technique supports DILD and I think it may support others as well I don't know but I'll check as I continue fooling around with this one. BOO YEAH!!!

I've been waiting and hoping for a new Ipod4g so I could do voice memos. I got it finally and I got my first dream recorded dow on it, the beauty of this is that now I can store and see my recordings.

However I nearly blew it. I had a false awakening this morning and I recorded everything in the dream. I did the same after I woke up a second time. I haven't had a false awakening in a while. And I could hear my radio in the BG in the dream which added to the realism of the dream. The only problem was I found a few things wrong; I was sleeping in a futon in the living room (we used to have one), I somehow materialized a book in front of me and was able to write everything down but the fact that I wrote it down left me in question, and the recording I did sounded differently and that woke me up. I need to do RCs when I wake up from now on, I should've been doing them from the start. And after next week I'm going to dive into WILDs again. In the meantime I have a new toy that I'm going to frack around with. I'm going to try a timmed recorder so I can literally tell my self that I am dreaming from the out side. I'm a light sleeper and I can hear things clearly in my sleep from the outside, so I should take advantage of that. 4:00 should be a good time to get started on.

I can get up to the HIs but it gets tricky after this, I start to fade into sleep and then I kind of wake up again and I'm back to the step before the HI. I've had the transition stage before, but that was before I started looking into LDs. So I should shoot for that same feeling. I'm counting myself into it, and it seems to work, but I trail off after the HI stage and become less focused. This is tricky, but at least this is progress I can actively control. I'll keep trying.

I've done alot of reading up on it and I've been telling myself to master DILDs first. But after this month I've had a change of heart. I'm going to master both WILDs and DILDs I need more control over my sleeping pattern and I'm truthfully (and regrettably) becoming impatient with the results that DILD is producing alone. I would either have an LD and then lose all of the minimal control that I already have by doing something stupid and extravagant (Like a Kamehameha wave). I'd rush the LD, or I'd become too exited and go into a free falling tailspin and get knocked so hard that i'm in twilight. And I have no say about what happens because of my excitement. So I'm going to preform and try WILDs every night before sleep (which I know is a no no; it should be 4 to 5 hours into sleep) until I get it. I already have some knowledge of what a partial WILD is because I've been up to the hallucination level more than once. But I used to get freaked out and wonder if I was going crazy because I'd hear voices so many times. So if anyone has any comments, criticisms, questions, concerns, let me know because I'm going into this head first, and I'm not stopping. Until I can do both or at least one of them.

I didn't obtain lucidity, however, when I get the chance here I'll post up the dreams. I had 3 and a half dreams, which is a record. I want to take it up higher so I can increase the probability of having a lucid. All I did the day before was guzzle a Big Gulp jug that was full of water through out the day. That increased my recall pretty well and I had some pretty well sized dreams. I'm very confident that I can become lucid. All of my hard work and everything has to start paying off. I want to also get to the point where this becomes 2nd nature. As long as I hack away at it then I can start looking into WILD.

Every morning I've woken up and I have written down so...many....pages.... But no matter what I do, when I have lucidity, I lose it just as fast as I gained it, or I'm aware but I can't do anything significant. This doesn't discourage me from repeatedly trying again and again and again until I get it. But it's a little frustrating to know that I have only so much knowledge of what it feels like to be lucid. My basic idea (and when I mean basic, I mean that I really can't confirm it but it would seem about right) is that I suddenly feel like I just woke up, and I went back into the dream or I'm thinking about the dream as if I was awake. There has to be a way to get myself to mount firmly before I lose that control. Because I lose it as soon as I see it. How do I know that the feeling is lucidity? Well I checked back to my first experience (which was the most vivid of them all) and I realized that after seeing that I was in fact dreaming, and then getting my arse knocked around in that tail spin because I got too exited, that same feeling followed, and it was there with me while I was in my spinny, blurry, limbo. then I realized that I've had this same feeling many many many times before especially when I'm in a tail spin. So my question is, how the heck do I mount myself in the dream before I lose the control? I don't think the "I'm an anchor" thing works. Anyone have any suggestions?

I've been keeping my guard up since I've started, it's no surprise to me really, I just find it kind of funny that I happen to have toys and action figures as one of my dream signs. It's either toys or cartoon characters that still hold a spot as my dream signs. As for Master Mind's technique, I'm getting better recall, and I'm still seeing the transition from one dream to the next. In fact, I had a bad night the previous night because of heat. But I see another trend starting to form. I always knew it was there but I could never put the two dreams together, the transition would sever them and keep me from ever putting the two dreams together in relation to plot, only bits and pieces would come up, if I was even lucky to have that. So now I got one month to go, and as a reminder to my future self, should I get discouraged if I'm not happy with where I'm at: Set another 2 months and try again! It's summer! You hate Summer! If you get discouraged then just know you'll do better toward the Fall and Winter seasons.

I tried one more technique that got alot of great results. and low and behold, it worked! and I believe I became lucid almost casually. There were 3 dreams that I remember, 4 in total. And I woke up after each one but went back in. The most awesome part about this is that I remember the transition from one of the dreams to the next perfectly. So I know where the plot was now unlike last time.

The Dream:
The first dream included a house that I went to before in the past, and it looked exactly the same as before as well. the events inside were strange, but that's all I could make out.

The 2nd dream included me running around a small city I've never seen before. And apparently there were people chasing me around the city. It got to a point where the car I was in (from an old playstation video game called Driver) wasn't cooperating at all as the cops were coming down that road that I was on. So I abandoned it and found a building with a ladder up against the side. I climbed up the ladder and on to the roof, and I looked around and noticed that there were alot of people hanging out here. I suddenly said to myself. "You know, this would be a great place to be when I'm lucid."

Just then something happened with the dream and I felt like I was awake again, but I was still in the dream. While I was standing there I just had a thought to immediately try something extravagant again. Then that threw me into a spinning 3rd person view and I gave up. I think I was still awake, but eventually the rest of the dream continued on to the 3rd one. But before hand, while I was still on the roof, there were these weird looking female characters, some of which were similar to each other. They looked like RPG characters or something. I remember one (which was supposed to be my character apparently) was talking, and she sounded kind of ticked, then I thought up a previous version of her. The voice changed, and she sounded better.

The dream transitions with the plot when I get caught by the cops, and they take me to the people that was running from. I wound up going though their trials in various rooms against other people. I don't know what the rules were, all I know is that the first guy let me have this win after alot of effort to try and beat him in whatever we were doing. Then after that I continued on out, and the next room had Woopie Goldberg in it. I wondered what was going on, and she told me that this was the resting period. She was sitting at a table in a part of the room that transitioned into a kitchen. The kitchen was lit by its own florescent ceiling light that gave the kitchen that typical lime-ish, yellow-green look. She was sitting there wearing something weird and looked like she was picking at something on a plate. She offered something to eat and I wondered (yeah I wonder what) sarcastically because as it was I was already in a Gladiator trial of some sort, and these people were as crazy as the ones from "Hunger Games". How I knew that I don't know. Afterwards I looked around and saw a familiar section of the room, it was the red section of this room, and it had a TV and various things around it that looked interesting. Then I woke up.

My question is, why is it that I suddenly feel as if I woke up and went back into the dream? Is that the lucidity kicking in? Because if it is, then why didn't it feel like the very first one I had? The first one I had felt a little different, more like I was just as aware as I would be in waking life, then I went into the usual tailspin because I got exited. But twice now I felt like I woke up, then went back to sleep, and I continued the dream knowing that I was dreaming. But I know I didn't do this, I know I stayed asleep. I'll post up the 1st lucid experience so I can show the difference.

But other than that I found a method, and now I'm going to hit this full force until I have lucidity. BOO YEAH!!

I'm using the Subliminal technique to induce some kind of results. The first night as you readers would know I fell flat on my face pretty good due to stress. This was after I listened to the full song, nothing for the second night when I tried 15 minutes each. But now I listened to the entire first song and I ended up with some reasonable results.

Results:
everything was a bit more vivid and I remember so much more, it is still coming to me in pieces, but I'm grateful it's even coming to me at all . I'm surprised I'm able to even have a few memories of the first dream out of the 3. Before it was just one semi vivid shot. What I find also weird was the the fact that I barely remember the transitions from dream to dream, but I saw them for the first time. I thought my dreams just skipped O.o

The Dream:
Dream 1 had me and my little bro in it. We we're working together to get out of this weird water plant of some sort. It was an obstacle course kind of like those crazy Japanese game shows where people get the shiz knocked out of them. But this course required me and my brother's team work to figure out the landscape, and find the switches to help us find another exit. I'm pretty sure that if either of us did something wrong then we' fall into whatever kind of crazy water that was. I was in a metal lift and I was watching my brother work his way to a switch. I was hoping he'd hit the right one. He shimmied his way to it then he hit the switch and the lift worked. After that we were both trying to get out of there through a small door way on the floor.

The second dream came after this, as I said I barely remember the transitions but the fact that I have a fragment is something at least. Anyway; the second dream merges with the third one. after me and my bro fall through the little trap door, the scene changes. There is a weird fiery place where these creatures live and people die. There were catwalks everywhere that allowed us to walk over all of the molten metal carnage, but after that the 3rd dream transitions in and both work hand and hand to make the next plot.

The third dream (or section) had me, and almost everyone I know as of now located in this huge store warehouse next to a shore. Everyone in this place camped out, and chilled here. However I think there was more to it than just having a good time. Inside this warehouse there was a small entrance on the floor somewhere that allowed the creatures to come in and cause a ruckus. We had to run and take cover behind the giant isle shelves in order to keep out of reach of them as they stormed in. I remember this happening twice, and I was frantically trying to get something before they came the 1st time. I was around the house cleaning appliances section, and right in front of me I saw bathroom toilet papers in a nice stack. Other parts of the dream had me looking ou in the docking area of the warehouse where a ship could come in and directly have it's cargo unloaded into the warehouse. But instead there was a tent out there where someone from my class was. the little tent was on a float of some sort. Next to that there was a dock that allowed passage to the tent, and it was also where the scene outside changes between a parking lot and a dock. a car was out there (I think it was my car) and I walked up to it. I could see inside it, and I could see the little droplets of rain running down the car surface as I walked around it. There was also another section of the dream where I saw all 3 of my friends and some other ones. And we were sitting together somewhere and I was talking to them. the dream ended when everyone went into the place where the monsters were and confronted them. I remember only so much, but the things I do remember are vivid. And I would consider this a dream sign because it is happening more than once. There was a small waterfall of tar that was coming from somewhere in this place, and it ran down a moving escalator of some sort. As I looked at it, the tar ran down ahead and revealed countless skeletons. These skeletons were picked dry of everything; probably by the tar.

There were a number of other small things that I remember that are avoiding me right now. But the fact is that I'm surprised the vividness was to the level that it was in this dream. Now if this had been either an epic dream, or one of those dreams that I have on rare occasions that have a mass amount of detail, then I think there would be a lot of potential there. Especially the vivid dreams, which in their own category are entirely epic in every sense of the meaning. Those I'll cover some other time. I'm going to start trying to squeeze both songs in to see what kind of result I get starting tonight. Hopefully the results are some kind of lucidity, so I can work from there and my brain doesn't have an epic fart and send me into a tail spin so bad that my subconscious mind gets sent into the next astral plain and back. XD

Let me clarify that because I was pretty agitated this morning. Around 9:00 pm I tried the subliminal messaging lucid technique. I listened to some music with some subliminal messaging in it while reading, then went to bed. Then 2 to 3 hours later, at 12:00 am, I jolt out of whatever I was doing in my sleep. And remembering it now, it seemed that I was desperately trying to hang on to a dream. Because I remember thinking about or seeing something as it knocked me around into confusion so I couldn't tell if I was up or not, or both, or in between, or going in an out. What was even more confusing was the fact that I seemed sort of awake, but I was holding on to different versions of the dream, hopping from one to the other and grabbing focus on it. I got sort of dizzy as well which was kind of a first in a while. I can only speculate what literally and royally kicked my ass out of my head and into that tailspin. But if I were to do so, I'd say that I must have became lucid, and I became stupid again and got exited. Why I say this is because I don't get knocked out of nothing and desperately try to hang on to it. That had to be a dream. Second off, I've been in tail spins, they aren't fun like the cartoon, but I haven't had a dizzy spell like that since the last time I became lucid and got my ass kicked. it was like being in nothing, I was very comfortable, then WHAM!!! I'm going to try one more time. Something tells me that I succeded, but it was stress that did this. Because I was calm, but apparently I still had things on my mind that I let get to me... Like homework.

The Dream:
I don't know how I remember what that experience was like. But I only get kicked out of dreams. At first I thought I got kicked out prematurely before any kind of dream started. But there was and still is the thoughts in the back of my mind. I was dreaming, I don't know what it was, all I know is that I was very content, and I accepted whatever was happening. Then this tail spin hit me like a dude falling out of bed. I think I woke up in a dream, then the tailspin took full effect.

I went in and out all night tonight because of the crazy heat. However! I reached my deadline... I got a taste of Lucidity again. It didn't hit me like a brick in the head like the very first one I had, but it still had the "click" to it. However the dreams all leading up to that point weren't all happy. In fact the first one was very much like the one before where my Dad goes nuts. Which I still don't think he is capable of. But I don't care about that right now because I said I would, and I got my lucidity started again in the 3 weeks limit! If I remember how it went before; I kind of tripped the first time, then a couple nights later I got it completely but got so exited that I woke up. Now lets just hope I can prevent that this time. I'll update this later. but I just wanted to give the current news.


I didn't write that one down fully because I was on the wrong page. And I had a hard time keeping awake. But despite the weirdness, I do remember either thinking that I went back in and out of the dream to get answers or I did go in and out. I remember dad coming in and getting a little ticked, but nothing that seemed to hint that it would get bad. Then the rest is gray after that. The most vivid part of it all now was when I was in the car parked in the garage with mom. and we were both talking in what seemed to be in the middle of the night. This was after I saw the ambulances and fire trucks and wondering what the ambulance was here for? It was late at night too. In the car mom told me what happened and when it got to a certain point I fazed out, then I told myself "I need to ask what happened to my brother." then I fazed back in. She told me, but it was hinted. Either way I understood what it meant but it wasn't sinking into my brain all the way. Then I fazed in and out a couple more times and that was it. Basically, Dad did something and it was fatal to my brother. I hope this isn't another fun campaign my brain wants to go on. I'm getting tired of those. When I woke up before the 2nd part of the dream where I fazed in and out, I realized 2 things; 1: I was sleeping on my stomach, and two, I needed to write this down. I failed and knocked out lol.

The next dream had fireworks in it that were going off in the dead of night. And there was a red-ish hue to everything that could be seen outside that dark night as I sat on the pool's step ladder that was placed up against the wall in our back yard. The wall over looks a backlot. I was there looking at the fireworks that were being set off through out the city with my dad and some other guy in a black shirt. The fire works in the distance were just going bonkers, no choreography, or anything just madness. Then a bunch of guys in 2 groups came up in our back lot behind our house as we were looking and they were on both sides of the field and started to run at each other. Then they set off their own fire works and fired them at each other. the flying rockets that looked like little flaming balls of colors and sparks lit up and flew across the field and some even bounced and sparks trailed behind them. They were like those spells in Harry Potter. And both me and my dad both agreed while saying "oh this is smart" sarcastically. As the war of Jubilee just got started in front of us. But a few moments or seconds later the fighting rapidly became worse as more explosions went off and fireworks went flying everywhere. Then as the fighting raged on, suddenly, a field of some sort materialized in the center. It was reddish, orange, and it had Japanese brush-strokes on it. It look ed like it was from Okami. As it grew and began to engulf the field as it spun like a swirling globe I yelled for everyone on my "sane" side of the fence to get inside. And we did just that. We entered our dark house and as I went in and looked through the windows with my back facing (but not touching) the opposite facing wall, I saw that the field was literally up against the wall that we were at just about a few moments before. The field was bright, and it looked like a red sun. It continued to engulf our fence, then it continued on our sheds, then it roared or made some kind of loud continuous sound as it advanced to our house and started to rip it apart (thankfully I couldn't see it). I started to run with everyone else to get the hell out of there, we were driven out into our front yard as it grew behind our house and destroyed it. Everything that it was doing behind our house couldn't be seen, but I knew in a few more moments the entire face of our house would disappear in it too. I woke up again, then I tried to continue to write after I took off my shirt but I K.O.ed again XD.

This next one is the one I obtained some lucidity. But thinking about it now; I think gore maybe a dream sign for me as well. I think this because it has happened more than once now. Rather it is as settle as ambiance in the night, or it's in my face, there is violence in some of the dreams that I have, if not gore. And while it may not be as bad as others here in dream views. The gore is bad enough for me.
There was a little city in my room that was in the middle of a desert. In this city there was a bunch of stuff happening, but I only remember so much of it. There was a cat that was building part of a school in this city. He was a cartoon character, but I don't know who. He was using this weird material that worked like some kind of jello goo. And the cat wanted to use that goo to scare some kids. He was going to stick his fingers and face through it so it would show his profile on the other side. Much like the ghosts moved through the walls in the movie "The Haunting". But 3 strangers came up, one of them being a female, and the cat wound up getting killed and hung in that hallway. And for some reason he had no fingers, just stubs. Before or after the killing the female asked "You know what happens when _____?" (I don't remember).

After that the dream switched somewhere else in the small dusty city. Afro Samurai was outside with bandages wrapped around his waist and on his lower abdomen. He looked worn out and tired. And he explained "I don't want any more blood."

Then the dream switched again to another guy who was leaving the city. But as he was using his car to get out, others were chasing him through the desert. But he lost them behind a very large rock formation. His car was trying to catch up with a jet and he managed to get into the jet by driving into it so hard that it hit the back of the cockpit wall with a large thud after it flew in through the back hatch. They then followed through with their plan to nuke the place.

This is where the dream starts to turn in my favor;
The dream switches from arial view of the place being nuked to my view as I walked around the miniature city, and out of my room to get away from the nuke's little shock wave so I didn't get radiation from it. After closing the door I looked through the crack at the bottom of my door and waited for the dust to block out the sunlight that was shining through. The dust did just as I thought it would. But after that, 2 sets of black dress shoes, formal creased pants that were also black, and black socks appeared behind the door. I got up and walked away from the door. I knew what they were, they were agents from the matrix. Then it clicked, or I think it did. I suddenly couldn't tell if I had woken up and went back in or if I was just making things up because I might have been awake. But either way, I must have something for randomly shooting Kamehameha waves because that was the first thing I did before I jumped into my room and started fighting them. However, the wave did nothing but fire off and disappear silently like a ghost. Everything that we were doing was hard to make out as we were fighting. And it felt so fluent that it was like watching a movie. Was that me or my dream self? I then remember wanting to switch the fight into another style as I was doing a flip from the wall to the ceiling. I then realized that doing so may be dangerous because I felt something. I feared that I may lose control so I switched the fight back and continued. After that I don't know. I think I woke up.

In a nutshell, the entire night, all the way until I had the morning sun shining through my window was nothing but-

First Dream:
Brain: GET UP!!
Me:.... Crap!! Gotta write that!
Brain: no!
Me: But-
Brain: No!
Me: But-
Brain: NO!! GO TO SLEEP!!! BAM!!
Firework Dream:
Brain again:GET UP!!
Me: ... Must...wirte...dream...
Brain: FUCK THAT GO TO SLEEP!! *Head butts*
Actual Sleep:
Brain: GET UP!!
Me: Alright! The sun is out! I got it this time! *grabs pen*
Brain: *PFFT* Yeah right! GO TO SLEEP FUCKA!!. *Hits me with a chair*
Brain:Trolololololololol!
Third Dream:
Me: HEY! Partial lucidity!
Brain:..... I let you have it....NOW GET UP!!

I'm reaching about near the same amount of weeks that it took me to get lucid last time. Since then though, I've only realized that I must've been dreaming about 2 to 3 times up until now. If I could do it without trying then I can do it more often then I know, simple as that. As for my recent dreams, I've been keeping track, and writing them down on a note book. I'll update this Journal when I get the chance. This is just me checking in.

I'm going to be busy for a while:

Short Term Goals:

Learn to control lucidity within 2 months []
Keep it []

Top priority:
Obtain Lucidity [X]
keep it []
find room []
Learn to hone in powers []
Find and confront Shadow Man and/or shadow creature []
Find gaps in small spaces in places I know that lead somewhere []
find and confront the 4 people who shot me []
Go back to nightmares I remember and kick some sorry ass []

2nd priority:
Flying:
just knowing it [X]
10% control []
50% control []
100% control []

psychic:
just knowing it [X]
10% control []
50% control []
100% control []

Super psychic explosion?

music orientated shockwaves [X]
inside the room [X]
10% control []
50% control []
100%control []
outside the room []

super jump []

use physics of super jump to run ridiculusly fast []

Kamehameha wave [/] it flopped

Learn to do what ever the frack I want []

misc powers []

3rd priority:
become lucid while listening to music []
Become lucid while listening to music so I can kick ass to my favorite music >
Go deep within my own mind and find things I never knew []
find out if my memory really is a fileing storage []
HOT SEX!! []
fiddle around with my subconcious transmitters so I can do more.
open a portal leading to other people's dreams so I can help them if they're having a nightmare then mysteriously leave lol []
more High Definition Dragon Ball Z fights []

Last thing to do:
help my story and roam []

My Second Adventure:

Dream Share []

This one is written down on my lil note book that I keep under my pillow to write this stuff down. This was last night.

There was a toy store that I went to with mom and my brother jonathan. I know that I have seen this place numerous times in previous dreams before. Jonathan was off trying to get something in the back. Meanwhile I was looking at a few toys that brought back a bit of nostalgia. We purchased what we came there for and left. But mom and Jonathan went in a different car. I drove in another car and followed them. until a certain point when I lost track of them some how and was following another car. After a while the car pulled over after the driver became clearly aware that I was following her (I thought she was mom sue me ). A lady came out of the car. She was clearly frustrated that I was following her. I looked out into the dirt lot area that we pulled over in and I then realized that I was lost.

The dream switches and I'm back in another store. I'm a little...how should I put this?... I was a little "gitty", a tiny bit hyper. But it was enough of it to make me want to do something stupid and out of character. I saw a fish tank with a bunch of little see through fish and a few gold fish in it. It was just standing there on the far side of the super market, in an appliance area it looked like. Then after a bit of staring I break the fish tank thinking it's funny (I freakin love fish, why would I do that?). But then the owner comes out and becomes frustrated.

The dream switches, but I get the weird feeling that I left to an apartment where a girl is at. and she talks to me about voices and personalities inside me that compelled me to break the glass. But then a visitor that was related to the fish tank incident arrives I'm in a panic and I hide because I know that they want money to pay for that tank. After the first encounter, they leave, but a person later comes back with a gun and winds up shooting me. But as the dreamer, I didn't want to die so I changed the outcome a bit, (the alternative outcomes came all at once though). I was also able to look at other alternatives. So instead of him just shooting me dead right there, I changed the outcome so he shot me in the gut instead, thus letting me live. But the other alternatives to that was that I went down wrong after being shot, so it wasn't convincing, or that I was breathing, and he caught me. Either way, those alternatives would've ended with him coming up to me while I was on the floor and shooting me repeatedly.

Now as I sit here and type this, you, the reader, are probably wondering to yourself, "why would this guy get shot over a fish tank?" Well here is why; apparently the owner had ties with some kind of mafia, or he was dealing in some kind of crime gang. How I knew it I don't exactly know, I just got a feeling. But as the dreamer, I realized something... the mother frackers just shot me again. But hopefully that wont matter in a couple months because if I can stay true to it this time then They will diiiieeeee HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

Before it took me a total of 3 weeks to become lucid. But I've been crazy busy as of recently, and I finally got through the worst part of my life. So now I'm hoping that things with my eye can return back to normal. I've also been dealing with college and I've found a pattern that I may be able to work off of. So I'm hoping that I can get it this time with in the two month time limit that I set for myself. I also have a better personal reason for coming back...again, Shadow man has not returned, nor has any kind of indication or hint. This is good because it was around the same time that my eye surgeries finally ended (give or take a couple years). I read Sun God's post on my forum and the patterns do line up (again; give or take a couple years). I want to find out why shadow man was there for all of those years, nothing more. The frackers that keep shooting me can be dealt with later, and the disturbing dreams I had before can be tossed away now. All I want to know is what Shadow Man was, or is. And if he represents any problems in my body that are under the radar, then can he come back? And I hope I can pull it off this time. If I had any other reason other than obsessing over him then it'd be because I think lucid dreaming would be a fun thing to do.