non-lucid

Nightmares =\

1: I was a serial killer/mass murderer for a reason I have forgotten. I used razor blades and slit people's throats quickly. I think I also kidnapped people, and the sequence ended with what was supposed to be years later when I see the investigators talking (one looked like Donald Sutherland), and I run up, kill both, then walk off. As I walk off, I hear shouting, and I impale myself on a screwdriver.

2: I think this was an alternate ending to the previous dream where one of my friends died, and I was trying to be convinced to go with another friend to Greece where he lived now.

3: My fiancé, for reasons unknown to me, was attacked in front of my by a massive crocodile. I, alone, pull her out, and she's unconscious. The dream ends with her being revived.

I'm guessing since I went to bed stressed last night, this triggered the nightmares of death. I tend to over-analyze everything since I plan my moves out, and when I do, I worry about future situations that may not even develop. For example, if I want to quit my job, I become worried over the worst case scenario (no career), so I essentially start to become absorbed with the notion that this is all I can do, ever. This notion happens for nearly everything. So, since all the dreams were about situations out of my control (I think the last dream with the crocodile had my fiancé pregnant too, which neither of us want at the moment, so that made it double out of my control), I believe that going to sleep stressed out (computer issues on every computer and phone) pushed the dream to fruition. Worst of all, in the dreams, everything felt real enough/out of control enough to be feasible, so I couldn't break the idea that it wasn't real.

I woke up shaking and pretty scared.

Thinking back, I had a reality check that I missed. At some point during my murderous rampage, I shaved with my razor blades. Using a mirror (which worked fine), I noticed a patch of facial hair, passed the blade over it, and it disappeared. I never noticed that it didn't FEEL like I was shaving. Pity...

ailed WILDing 4 times during a nap.

Attempt 1: Got to sleep paralysis. While doing that, I see a coffee pot tip over with dolphins flowing out. It ends with me conscious that my body is paralyzed. I hear the TV in the living room, and I can't go deeper. I can't really even remember HOW to get to the dream phase =\
Attempt 2 and 3: Don't remember much, but I fell asleep while going lucid. Fiancé woke me up.
Attempt 4: It came after long dream where I wake up in a room with an elderly H.P. Lovecraft. He wants to get a new novel published about Dagon (his first novel, to be precise), and he's weary of the process. His inner sanctum turns to me and gets me to solve it and remarked "Pray to Cthulhu you can do this." I remarked "You mean Dagon."

Next scene is me buying an antique shop, and I find a girl in deep debt. I offer to make I go away, and she assumes sex. She's my sacrifice to Cthulhu. The shop keeper demands that I let him join the group. I agree, but it's implied I will kill him.

I go to begin WILDing, get to paralysis, but I'm awoken before going further.

Much more vivid series of dreams, but I missed the transitions.

In fact, I don't even know the order, but here were the sequences:

- Car Ride

For some reason, my fiancé and I were riding a car with my parents with two of our cats. They were sleeping when my dad stopped in the middle of the road to assist a guy who looked like a cross between my neighbor and an uncle. The dream explained away the occurrence as he was on vacation. Different in this dream was my dad's disposition towards me. In the dream, he was completely cruel, but in real life I don't think he's said anything negative to me ever.

- The Love Story
This was a weird one that I don't get how I missed it. I was the third wheel in a Love Story movie versus Elvis Presley. The heroine was I want to say Sandra Bullock, and I think I was supposed to be John Travolta. I distinctly remember walking with Elvis saying "You'll be dead before she's really famous." He stopped in his tracks, and the dream shifted again.

- House
For someone reason, we owned a larger house but never went in the back portion. When I finally did, it was terrifying. I counted an additional 4 rooms + bath that we didn't use, but it seemed intolerably dark. With flashlight in hand, which in dreams is just awful, I searched the hallway, got to the room, when... nothing happened. We discussed how to lay the room out as if nothing was wrong.

- Boat Show
This was the last sequence I recall. I was talking to a friend I've known for ages at a boat building show. We talked about a lot when I see a ship being built collapse. Strangest part was when the workers walked in the waist deep water, lifted the wooden boat, set it back, and went back to what they were doing. In the background, I saw a white ship named Junetown.

One recurring theme in all the dreams was the emotional ties. In the first, disrespect towards my father, second love, third fear, and fourth jealousy of my friend not wanting to hang out with me. In every dream, when something would stick out that'd make me lucid, the dream would distract me. Our vehicle being different in the first was ignored for a quick 180 in the car. Speaking to Elvis was ignored for him realizing he was on his way to a young death. The larger house was ignored for the feeling of fear. The boat being in too shallow water was ignored with my friend speaking before I could think.

I'd say these were 1 lucidities because I had some notion that things were off, I just couldn't break the script.