wintertime

The 1st half of the dream I was getting ready to return home. On the way they way I was going to drop off my daughters are their mams.
I was waiting around for something before I could leave.
While waiting and to pass the time I decided to clean the car. I noticed I had 2 bottles of soap and a bottle of something else in my hands. I also had a dry cloth rolled up like a cigar. I squirted soap on the back of the front seats and began cleaning / wiping it off. To keep my daughters busy I went inside and asked my youngest daughter to sweep the floor. She couldn't find the sweeping brush so I decided to help her look. I found it in the hallway on my way out.
Also in the house were my daughters step sisters. I picked up the youngest of them who had no shoes on to say hi.
My dad asked me if I would run an errand for him. I said no. Later when I was busy and my back was turned my youngest sister started to drive off in my car to do the errand. I caught her and hold her that I had already said 'no' to dad. I said this to her when she was half way down the drive way. My dad overheard because he was in the garden beside the driveway.
I told me sister to turn around at the first available opportunity which she did.

Back at the house I went out the front door of the house. I noticed that my dad was cutting the tall and unattended trees that ran parallel to the front of the house. He was using a silent motorized saw. I quickly put my hands up to protect my head from a tree that was falling. I caught it just in time. Also the last tree I noticed had several full horizontal cuts and I remember wondering how it was still standing. I remember telling myself this is allowed because I'm dreaming.
I then walked to my left and noticed movement. I noticed a large octopus approximately the size of a car moving towards a damp shaded clay patch beside me. It was a dark'ish color with moss and old twigs on its back. Looking at it front ways it looked like a giant crab.

The crab saw me. Its mouth was approximate 4 to 5 feet wide. I felt I would need to be on guard so I picked up a long think branch to poke it if it came close. Which it did. I pushed the branch into the back of its mouth. It stopped. I then noticed a 2nd octopus behind it. I noticed I was at the bottom of a dark and damp steep hill. I felt the only way to back away from these creatures was to walk backwards up the hill. As I started walking the 2nd octopus climbed over the 1st one. Again I had to use the stick. But I started to fear I might not out run them. I proceeded up the hill. As I got higher and higher I no longer saw the top. It was like climbing a mountain were you just see a new higher horizon.
I felt the creatures could appear at any minute but I couldn't see them.

My initial thoughts:
I don't get on with my dad at all. I always say 'no' to him. But I don't tell others not to do something he asks. Normally I'm ok with someone borrowing my car.
I've never been too fond of the power of an octopus to crush things nor do I like the look of crabs.

I was returning to work with others to the remote jungle. The whole dream takes place on boats as it was all rivers. Apple pie-preparing. 2 of us sliced the apples but we knew we would not be able to make the pie until the next day as we would have to look through our baggage or obtain supplies to make the pie.

I knew returning would be very, very tough. We were expecting lots of trouble but nothing like what we encountered. Every minute of every day were were been chased by armed gangs who's sole aim was to rob and kill us. I think I had sensed this even before we began.
Suddenly a secondary school teacher I had for 1 or 2 years appeared. She is not something I would ever have thought about and she is someone who I would describe has having a neutral relationship with at school.
She got hit by a stray bullet in the back. I grab her as she was falling. In the dream I instantly recognized a volcano of emotion rising up in me. I proceeded to carry/drag her to a bed. I knew she would be dead in a few minutes. I started to hold on tighter and tighter and tighter to her. She or another person offered to shake hands. I said to myself I'm going to see how hard I can squeeze this person hand. I squeezed very hard but I was unable to squeeze hard enough to break their hand. I was away that I was dreaming and felt the tears well up in my eyes (which were there when I woke up after the dream was over!).
I decided I would like her have her last moments alone so I said 'see you later or see you next time' and tore myself away.
Shortly afterwards spoke to another and we agreed with every once of our being that we had enough running and trying to dodge these gangs. We decided we would proceed in a way that got us as far a way as possible from them.
Suddenly we found ourselves in a remote town. We were on the street and were glad to see the local police chief. He agreed to help use find safe passage. When I turned around there was the leader of the gang. He and his hundreds of followers were dressed in the same uniforms as the police. There was to be a dual which I felt we would not win.

My thoughts/comments.
For 6+ months now I have scarified or given up living by my own free will. Instead I have found a way to connect with my spirit guide and I have been living life by their indications. e.g. what to eat, would it be good to watch such and such a TV program, etc, etc. Recently I have been putting ALL my energy into preparing to 'return' to South America to start a new life i.e. I sense I will leave for a minimum of 2+ years (either travelling or working with medicine plants deep in the jungle). I have been doing this at huge person cost i.e. people would view me as abandoning my daughters which I have effectively done already by following my spirits guides indication not to take up access. And do yo know what ? It feels like the right thing to do. i.e. I viewing this as short term pain (2-5 years away) for long term gain (developing to be the best person I can which in turn will benefit others) , failing to socialize, etc, etc.
If an outside person was to view how advanced my preparations were they would report that I am fully ready.